The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 44

Syracuse and Agrigentum, the fairest towns in Sicily, which had sometimes 700,000 inhabitants, are now decayed: the names of Hieron, Empedocles, &c., of those mighty numbers of people, only left. One Anacharsis is remembered amongst the Scythians; the world itself must have an end; and every part of it. _Caeterae igitur urbes sunt mortales_, as Peter [3906]Gillius concludes of Constantinople, _haec sane quamdiu erunt homines, futura mihi videtur immortalis_; but 'tis not so: nor site, nor strength, nor sea nor land, can vindicate a city, but it and all must vanish at last. And as to a traveller great mountains seem plains afar off, at last are not discerned at all; cities, men, monuments decay,--_nec solidis prodest sua machina terris_, [3907]the names are only left, those at length forgotten, and are involved in perpetual night.

[3908]"Returning out of Asia, when I sailed from Aegina toward Megara, I began" (saith Servius Sulpicius, in a consolatory epistle of his to Tully) "to view the country round about. Aegina was behind me, Megara before, Piraeus on the right hand, Corinth on the left, what flourishing towns heretofore, now prostrate and overwhelmed before mine eyes? I began to think with myself, alas, why are we men so much disquieted with the departure of a friend, whose life is much shorter? [3909]When so many goodly cities lie buried before us. Remember, O Servius, thou art a man; and with that I was much confirmed, and corrected myself." Correct then likewise, and comfort thyself in this, that we must necessarily die, and all die, that we shall rise again: as Tully held; _Jucundiorque multo congressus noster futurus, quam insuavis et acerbus digressus_, our second meeting shall be much more pleasant than our departure was grievous.

Aye, but he was my most dear and loving friend, my sole friend,

[3910] "Quis deciderio sit pudor aut modus Tam chari capitis?"------

"And who can blame my woe?"

Thou mayst be ashamed, I say with [3911]Seneca, to confess it, "in such a [3912]tempest as this to have but one anchor," go seek another: and for his part thou dost him great injury to desire his longer life. [3913]"Wilt thou have him crazed and sickly still," like a tired traveller that comes weary to his inn, begin his journey afresh, "or to be freed from his miseries; thou hast more need rejoice that he is gone." Another complains of a most sweet wife, a young wife, _Nondum sustulerat flavum Proserpina crinem_, such a wife as no mortal man ever had, so good a wife, but she is now dead and gone, _laethaeoque jacet condita sarcophago_. I reply to him in Seneca's words, if such a woman at least ever was to be had, [3914]"He did either so find or make her; if he found her, he may as happily find another;" if he made her, as Critobulus in Xenophon did by his, he may as good cheap inform another, _et bona tam sequitur, quam bona prima fuit_; he need not despair, so long as the same master is to be had. But was she good? Had she been so tired peradventure as that Ephesian widow in Petronius, by some swaggering soldier, she might not have held out. Many a man would have been willingly rid of his: before thou wast bound, now thou art free; [3915]"and 'tis but a folly to love thy fetters though they be of gold." Come into a third place, you shall have an aged father sighing for a son, a pretty child;

[3916] "Imp.u.b.e pectus quale vel impia Molliret Thrac.u.m pectora."

------"He now lies asleep, Would make an impious Thracian weep."

Or some fine daughter that died young, _Nondum experta novi gaudia prima tori_. Or a forlorn son for his deceased father. But why? _Prior exiit, prior intravit_, he came first, and he must go first. [3917]_Tu frustra pius, heu_, &c. What, wouldst thou have the laws of nature altered, and him to live always? Julius Caesar, Augustus, Alcibiades, Galen, Aristotle, lost their fathers young. And why on the other side shouldst thou so heavily take the death of thy little son?

[3918] "Num quia nec fato, merita nec morte peribat, Sed miser ante diem"------

he died before his time, perhaps, not yet come to the solstice of his age, yet was he not mortal? Hear that divine [3919]Epictetus, "If thou covet thy wife, friends, children should live always, thou art a fool." He was a fine child indeed, _dignus Apollineis lachrymis_, a sweet, a loving, a fair, a witty child, of great hope, another Eteoneus, whom Pindarus the poet and Aristides the rhetorician so much lament; but who can tell whether he would have been an honest man? He might have proved a thief, a rogue, a spendthrift, a disobedient son, vexed and galled thee more than all the world beside, he might have wrangled with thee and disagreed, or with his brothers, as Eteocles and Polynices, and broke thy heart; he is now gone to eternity, as another Ganymede, in the [3920]flower of his youth, "as if he had risen," saith [3921]Plutarch, "from the midst of a feast" before he was drunk, "the longer he had lived, the worse he would have been," _et quo vita longior_, (Ambrose thinks) _culpa numerosior_, more sinful, more to answer he would have had. If he was naught, thou mayst be glad he is gone; if good, be glad thou hadst such a son. Or art thou sure he was good? It may be he was an hypocrite, as many are, and howsoever he spake thee fair, peradventure he prayed, amongst the rest that Icaro Menippus heard at Jupiter's whispering place in Lucian, for his father's death, because he now kept him short, he was to inherit much goods, and many fair manors after his decease. Or put case he was very good, suppose the best, may not thy dead son expostulate with thee, as he did in the same [3922]Lucian, "why dost thou lament my death, or call me miserable that am much more happy than thyself? what misfortune is befallen me? Is it because I am not so bald, crooked, old, rotten, as thou art? What have I lost, some of your good cheer, gay clothes, music, singing, dancing, kissing, merry-meetings, _thalami lubentias_, &c., is that it? Is it not much better not to hunger at all than to eat: not to thirst than to drink to satisfy thirst: not to be cold than to put on clothes to drive away cold? You had more need rejoice that I am freed from diseases, agues, cares, anxieties, livor, love, covetousness, hatred, envy, malice, that I fear no more thieves, tyrants, enemies, as you do." [3923]_Ad cinerem et manes credis curare sepultos_? "Do they concern us at all, think you, when we are once dead?"

Condole not others then overmuch, "wish not or fear thy death." [3924]

_Summum nec optes diem nec metuas_; 'tis to no purpose.

"Excessi e vitae aerumnis facilisque lubensque Ne perjora ipsa morte dehinc videam."

"I left this irksome life with all mine heart, Lest worse than death should happen to my part."

[3925]Cardinal Brundusinus caused this epitaph in Rome to be inscribed on his tomb, to show his willingness to die, and tax those that were so both to depart. Weep and howl no more then, 'tis to small purpose; and as Tully adviseth us in the like case, _Non quos amisimus, sed quantum lugere par sit cogitemus_: think what we do, not whom we have lost. So David did, 2 Sam. xxii., "While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; but being now dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him again? I shall go to him, but he cannot return to me." He that doth otherwise is an intemperate, a weak, a silly, and indiscreet man. Though Aristotle deny any part of intemperance to be conversant about sorrow, I am of [3926]Seneca's mind, "he that is wise is temperate, and he that is temperate is constant, free from pa.s.sion, and he that is such a one, is without sorrow," as all wise men should be.

The [3927]Thracians wept still when a child was born, feasted and made mirth when any man was buried: and so should we rather be glad for such as die well, that they are so happily freed from the miseries of this life.

When Eteoneus, that n.o.ble young Greek, was so generally lamented by his friends, Pindarus the poet feigns some G.o.d saying, _Silete homines, non enim miser est_, &c. be quiet good folks, this young man is not so miserable as you think; he is neither gone to Styx nor Acheron, _sed gloriosus et senii expers heros_, he lives for ever in the Elysian fields.

He now enjoys that happiness which your great kings so earnestly seek, and wears that garland for which ye contend. If our present weakness is such, we cannot moderate our pa.s.sions in this behalf, we must divert them by all means, by doing something else, thinking of another subject. The Italians most part sleep away care and grief, if it unseasonably seize upon them, Danes, Dutchmen, Polanders and Bohemians drink it down, our countrymen go to plays: do something or other, let it not transpose thee, or by [3928]

"premeditation make such accidents familiar," as Ulysses that wept for his dog, but not for his wife, _quod paratus esset animo obfirmato_, (Plut. _de anim. tranq._) "accustom thyself, and harden beforehand by seeing other men's calamities, and applying them to thy present estate;" _Praevisum est levius quod fuit ante malum_. I will conclude with [3929]Epictetus, "If thou lovest a pot, remember 'tis but a, pot thou lovest, and thou wilt not be troubled when 'tis broken: if thou lovest a son or wife, remember they were mortal, and thou wilt not be so impatient." And for false fears and all other fortuitous inconveniences, mischances, calamities, to resist and prepare ourselves, not to faint is best: [3930]_Stultum est timere quod vitari non potest_, 'tis a folly to fear that which cannot be avoided, or to be discouraged at all.

[3931] "Nam quisquis trepidus pavet vel optat, Abjecit clypeum, locoque motus Nect.i.t qua valeat trahi catenam."

"For he that so faints or fears, and yields to his pa.s.sion, flings away his own weapons, makes a cord to bind himself, and pulls a beam upon his own head."

MEMB. VI.

_Against Envy, Livor, Emulation, Hatred, Ambition, Self-love, and all other Affections_.

Against those other [3932]pa.s.sions and affections, there is no better remedy than as mariners when they go to sea, provide all things necessary to resist a tempest: to furnish ourselves with philosophical and Divine precepts, other men's examples, [3933]_Periculum ex aliis facere, sibi quod ex usu siet_: To balance our hearts with love, charity, meekness, patience, and counterpoise those irregular motions of envy, livor, spleen, hatred, with their opposite virtues, as we bend a crooked staff another way, to oppose [3934]"sufferance to labour, patience to reproach," bounty to covetousness, fort.i.tude to pusillanimity, meekness to anger, humility to pride, to examine ourselves for what cause we are so much disquieted, on what ground, what occasion, is it just or feigned? And then either to pacify ourselves by reason, to divert by some other object, contrary pa.s.sion, or premeditation. [3935]_Meditari sec.u.m oportet quo pacto adversam aerumnam ferat, Paricla, d.a.m.na, exilia peregre rediens semper cogitet, aut filii peccatum, aut uxoris mortem, aut morb.u.m filiae, communia esse haec: fieri posse, ut ne quid animo sit novum_. To make them familiar, even all kind of calamities, that when they happen they may be less troublesome unto us. _In secundis meditare, quo pacto feras adversa_: or out of mature judgment to avoid the effect, or disannul the cause, as they do that are troubled with toothache, pull them quite out.

[3936] "Ut vivat castor, sibi testes amputat ipse; Tu quoque siqua nocent, abjice, tutus eris."

"The beaver bites off's stones to save the rest: Do thou the like with that thou art opprest."

Or as they that play at wasters, exercise themselves by a few cudgels how to avoid an enemy's blows: let us arm ourselves against all such violent incursions, which may invade our minds. A little experience and practice will inure us to it; _vetula vulpes_, as the proverb saith, _laqueo haud capitur_, an old fox is not so easily taken in a snare; an old soldier in the world methinks should not be disquieted, but ready to receive all fortunes, encounters, and with that resolute captain, come what may come, to make answer,

[3937] ------"non ulla laborum O virgo nova mi facies inopinaque surgit, Omnia percepi atque animo mec.u.m ante peregi."

"No labour comes at unawares to me, For I have long before cast what may be."

[3938] ------"non hoc primum mea pectora vulnus Senserunt, graviora tuli"------

The commonwealth of [3939]Venice in their armoury have this inscription, "Happy is that city which in time of peace thinks of war," a fit motto for every man's private house; happy is the man that provides for a future a.s.sault. But many times we complain, repine and mutter without a cause, we give way to pa.s.sions we may resist, and will not. Socrates was bad by nature, envious, as he confessed to Zophius the physiognomer, accusing him of it, froward and lascivious: but as he was Socrates, he did correct and amend himself. Thou art malicious, envious, covetous, impatient, no doubt, and lascivious, yet as thou art a Christian, correct and moderate thyself.

'Tis something, I confess, and able to move any man, to see himself contemned, obscure, neglected, disgraced, undervalued, [3940]"left behind;"

some cannot endure it, no not constant Lipsius, a man discreet otherwise, yet too weak and pa.s.sionate in this, as his words express, [3941]_collegas olim, quos ego sine fremitu non intueor, nuper terrae filios, nunc Maecenates et Agrippas habeo,--summo jam monte pot.i.tos_. But he was much to blame for it: to a wise staid man this is nothing, we cannot all be honoured and rich, all Caesars; if we will be content, our present state is good, and in some men's opinion to be preferred. Let them go on, get wealth, offices, t.i.tles, honours, preferments, and what they will themselves, by chance, fraud, imposture, simony, and indirect means, as too many do, by bribery, flattery, and parasitical insinuation, by impudence and time-serving, let them climb up to advancement in despite of virtue, let them "go before, cross me on every side," _me non offendunt modo non in, oculos incurrant_, [3942]as he said, correcting his former error, they do not offend me, so long as they run not into mine eyes. I am inglorious and poor, _composita paupertate_, but I live secure and quiet: they are dignified, have great means, pomp, and state, they are glorious; but what have they with it? [3943]"Envy, trouble, anxiety, as much labour to maintain their place with credit, as to get it at first." I am contented with my fortunes, _spectator e longinquo_, and love _Neptunum procul a terra spectare furentem_: he is ambitious, and not satisfied with his: "but what [3944]gets he by it? to have all his life laid open, his reproaches seen: not one of a thousand but he hath done more worthy of dispraise and animadversion than commendation; no better means to help this than to be private." Let them run, ride, strive as so many fishes for a crumb, sc.r.a.pe, climb, catch, s.n.a.t.c.h, cozen, collogue, temporise and fleer, take all amongst them, wealth, honour, [3945]and get what they can, it offends me not:

[3946] ------"me mea tellus Lare secreto tutoque tegat,"

"I am well pleased with my fortunes," [3947]_Vivo et regno simul ista relinquens_.

I have learned "in what state soever I am, therewith to be contented,"

Philip, iv 11. Come what can come, I am prepared. _Nave ferar magna an parva, ferar unus et idem_. I am the same. I was once so mad to bustle abroad, and seek about for preferment, tire myself, and trouble all my friends, _sed nihil labor tantus profecit nam dum alios amicorum mors avocat, aliis ignotus sum, his invisus, alii large promittunt, intercedunt illi mec.u.m soliciti, hi vana spe lactant; dum alios ambio, hos capto, illis innotesco, aetas perit, anni defluunt, amici fatigantur, ego deferor, et jam, mundi taesus, humanaeque satur infidelitatis acquiesco_. [3948]And so I say still; although I may not deny, but that I have had some [3949]

bountiful patrons, and n.o.ble benefactors, _ne sim interim ingratus_, and I do thankfully acknowledge it, I have received some kindness, _quod Deus illis beneficium rependat, si non pro votis, forta.s.se pro meritis_, more peradventure than I deserve, though not to my desire, more of them than I did expect, yet not of others to my desert; neither am I ambitious or covetous, for this while, or a Suffenus to myself; what I have said, without prejudice or alteration shall stand. And now as a mired horse that struggles at first with all his might and main to get out, but when he sees no remedy, that his beating will not serve, lies still, I have laboured in vain, rest satisfied, and if I may usurp that of [3950]Prudentius,

"Inveni portum; spes et fortuna valete, Nil mihi vobisc.u.m, ludite nunc alios."

"Mine haven's found, fortune and hope adieu, Mock others now, for I have done with you."

MEMB. VII.

_Against Repulse, Abuses, Injuries, Contempts, Disgraces, Contumelies, Slanders, Scoffs, &c._

I may not yet conclude, think to appease pa.s.sions, or quiet the mind, till such time as I have likewise removed some other of their more eminent and ordinary causes, which produce so grievous tortures and discontents: to divert all, I cannot hope; to point alone at some few of the chiefest, is that which I aim at.

_Repulse_.] Repulse and disgrace are two main causes of discontent, but to an understanding man not so hardly to be taken. Caesar himself hath been denied, [3951]and when two stand equal in fortune, birth, and all other qualities alike, one of necessity must lose. Why shouldst thou take it so grievously? It hath a familiar thing for thee thyself to deny others. If every man might have what he would, we should all be deified, emperors, kings, princes; if whatsoever vain hope suggests, insatiable appet.i.te affects, our preposterous judgment thinks fit were granted, we should have another chaos in an instant, a mere confusion. It is some satisfaction to him that is repelled, that dignities, honours, offices, are not always given by desert or worth, but for love, affinity, friendship, affection, [3952]great men's letters, or as commonly they are bought and sold.

[3953]"Honours in court are bestowed not according to men's virtues and good conditions" (as an old courtier observes), "but as every man hath means, or more potent friends, so he is preferred." With us in France ([3954]for so their own countryman relates) "most part the matter is carried by favour and grace; he that can get a great man to be his mediator, runs away with all the preferment." _Indignissimus plerumque praefertur, Vatinius Catoni, illaudatus laudatissimo_;

[3955] ------"servi dominantur; aselli Ornantur phaleris, dephalerantur equi."

An illiterate fool sits in a man's seat, and the common people hold him learned, grave and wise. "One professeth" ([3956]Cardan well notes) "for a thousand crowns, but he deserves not ten, when as he that deserves a thousand cannot get ten." _Solarium non dat multis salem._ As good horses draw in carts, as coaches. And oftentimes, which Machiavel seconds, [3957]

_Principes non sunt qui ob insignem virtutem princ.i.p.atu digni sunt_, he that is most worthy wants employment; he that hath skill to be a pilot wants a ship, and he that could govern a commonwealth, a world itself, a king in conceit, wants means to exercise his worth, hath not a poor office to manage, and yet all this while he is a better man that is fit to reign, _etsi careat regno_, though he want a kingdom, [3958]"than he that hath one, and knows not how to rule it:" a lion serves not always his keeper, but oftentimes the keeper the lion, and as [3959]Polydore Virgil hath it, _multi reges ut pupilli ob inscitiam non regunt sed reguntur_. Hieron of Syracuse was a brave king, but wanted a kingdom; Perseus of Macedon had nothing of a king, but the bare name and t.i.tle, for he could not govern it: so great places are often ill bestowed, worthy persons unrespected. Many times, too, the servants have more means than the masters whom they serve, which [3960]Epictetus counts an eyesore and inconvenient. But who can help it? It is an ordinary thing in these days to see a base impudent a.s.s, illiterate, unworthy, insufficient, to be preferred before his betters, because he can put himself forward, because he looks big, can bustle in the world, hath a fair outside, can temporise, collogue, insinuate, or hath good store of friends and money, whereas a more discreet, modest, and better-deserving man shall lie hid or have a repulse. 'Twas so of old, and ever will be, and which Tiresias advised Ulysses in the [3961]

poet,--_Accipe qua ratione queas ditescere_, &c., is still in use; lie, flatter, and dissemble: if not, as he concludes,--_Ergo pauper eris_, then go like a beggar as thou art. Erasmus, Melancthon, Lipsius, Budaeus, Cardan, lived and died poor. Gesner was a silly old man, _baculo innixus_, amongst all those huffing cardinals, swelling bishops that flourished in his time, and rode on foot-clothes. It is not honesty, learning, worth, wisdom, that prefers men, "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong," but as the wise man said, [3962]Chance, and sometimes a ridiculous chance. [3963]_Casus plerumque ridiculus multos elevavit._ 'Tis fortune's doings, as they say, which made Brutus now dying exclaim, _O misera virtus, ergo nihil quam verba eras, atqui ego te tanquam rem exercebam, sed tu serviebas fortunae._ [3964]Believe it hereafter, O my friends! virtue serves fortune. Yet be not discouraged (O my well deserving spirits) with this which I have said, it may be otherwise, though seldom I confess, yet sometimes it is. But to your farther content, I'll tell you a [3965]tale. In Maronia pia, or Maronia felix, I know not whether, nor how long since, nor in what cathedral church, a fat prebend fell void. The carca.s.s scarce cold, many suitors were up in an instant. The first had rich friends, a good purse, and he was resolved to outbid any man before he would lose it, every man supposed he should carry it. The second was my lord Bishop's chaplain (in whose gift it was), and he thought it his due to have it. The third was n.o.bly born, and he meant to get it by his great parents, patrons, and allies. The fourth stood upon his worth, he had newly found out strange mysteries in chemistry, and other rare inventions, which he would detect to the public good. The fifth was a painful preacher, and he was commended by the whole parish where he dwelt, he had all their hands to his certificate. The sixth was the prebendary's son lately deceased, his father died in debt (for it, as they say), left a wife and many poor children. The seventh stood upon fair promises, which to him and his n.o.ble friends had been formerly made for the next place in his lordship's gift.

The eighth pretended great losses, and what he had suffered for the church, what pains he had taken at home and abroad, and besides he brought n.o.blemen's letters. The ninth had married a kinswoman, and he sent his wife to sue for him. The tenth was a foreign doctor, a late convert, and wanted means. The eleventh would exchange for another, he did not like the former's site, could not agree with his neighbours and fellows upon any terms, he would be gone. The twelfth and last was (a suitor in conceit) a right honest, civil, sober man, an excellent scholar, and such a one as lived private in the university, but he had neither means nor money to compa.s.s it; besides he hated all such courses, he could not speak for himself, neither had he any friends to solicit his cause, and therefore made no suit, could not expect, neither did he hope for, or look after it.

The good bishop amongst a jury of compet.i.tors thus perplexed, and not yet resolved what to do, or on whom to bestow it, at the last, of his own accord, mere motion, and bountiful nature, gave it freely to the university student, altogether unknown to him but by fame; and to be brief, the academical scholar had the prebend sent him for a present. The news was no sooner published abroad, but all good students rejoiced, and were much cheered up with it, though some would not believe it; others, as men amazed, said it was a miracle; but one amongst the rest thanked G.o.d for it, and said, _Nunc juvat tandem studiosum esse, et Deo integro corde servire_.

You have heard my tale: but alas it is but a tale, a mere fiction, 'twas never so, never like to be, and so let it rest. Well, be it so then, they have wealth and honour, fortune and preferment, every man (there's no remedy) must scramble as he may, and shift as he can; yet Cardan comforted himself with this, [3966]"the star Fomahant would make him immortal," and that [3967]after his decease his books should be found in ladies' studies: [3968]_Dignum laude virum Musa vetat mori_. But why shouldst thou take thy neglect, thy canvas so to heart? It may be thou art not fit; but a [3969]child that puts on his father's shoes, hat, headpiece, breastplate, breeches, or holds his spear, but is neither able to wield the one, or wear the other; so wouldst thou do by such an office, place, or magistracy: thou art unfit: "And what is dignity to an unworthy man, but (as [3970]

Salvia.n.u.s holds) a gold ring in a swine's snout?" Thou art a brute. Like a bad actor (so [3971]Plutarch compares such men in a tragedy, _diadema fert, at vox non auditur_: Thou wouldst play a king's part, but actest a clown, speakest like an a.s.s. [3972]_Magna petis Phaeton et quae non viribus istis_, &c., as James and John, the sons of Zebedee, did ask they knew not what: _nescis temerarie nescis_; thou dost, as another Suffenus, overween thyself; thou art wise in thine own conceit, but in other more mature judgment altogether unfit to manage such a business. Or be it thou art more deserving than any of thy rank, G.o.d in his providence hath reserved thee for some other fortunes, _sic superis visum_. Thou art humble as thou art, it may be; hadst thou been preferred, thou wouldst have forgotten G.o.d and thyself, insulted over others, contemned thy friends, [3973]been a block, a tyrant, or a demiG.o.d, _sequiturque superbia formam_: [3974]"Therefore,"

saith Chrysostom, "good men do not always find grace and favour, lest they should be puffed up with turgent t.i.tles, grow insolent and proud."

Injuries, abuses, are very offensive, and so much the more in that they think _veterem ferendo invitant novam_, "by taking one they provoke another:" but it is an erroneous opinion, for if that were true, there would be no end of abusing each other; _lis litem generat_; 'tis much better with patience to bear, or quietly to put it up. If an a.s.s kick me, saith Socrates, shall I strike him again? And when [3975]his wife Xantippe struck and misused him, to some friends that would have had him strike her again, he replied, that he would not make them sport, or that they should stand by and say, _Eia Socrates, eia Xantippe_, as we do when dogs fight, animate them the more by clapping of hands. Many men spend themselves, their goods, friends, fortunes, upon small quarrels, and sometimes at other men's procurements, with much vexation of spirit and anguish of mind, all which with good advice, or mediation of friends, might have been happily composed, or if patience had taken place. Patience in such cases is a most sovereign remedy, to put up, conceal, or dissemble it, to [3976]forget and forgive, [3977]"not seven, but seventy-seven times, as often as he repents forgive him;" Luke xvii. 3. as our Saviour enjoins us, stricken, "to turn the other side:" as our [3978]Apostle persuades us, "to recompense no man evil for evil, but as much as is possible to have peace with all men: not to avenge ourselves, and we shall heap burning coals upon our adversary's head." "For [3979]if you put up wrong" (as Chrysostom comments), "you get the victory; he that loseth his money, loseth not the conquest in this our philosophy." If he contend with thee, submit thyself unto him first, yield to him. _Durum et durum non faciunt murum_, as the diverb is, two refractory spirits will never agree, the only means to overcome is to relent, _obsequio vinces_. Euclid in Plutarch, when his brother had angered him, swore he would be revenged; but he gently replied, [3980]"Let me not live if I do not make thee to love me again," upon which meek answer he was pacified.

[3981] "Flect.i.tur obsequio curvatus ab arbore ramus, Frangis si vires experire tuas."

"A branch if easily bended yields to thee, Pull hard it breaks: the difference you see."

The n.o.ble family of the Colonni in Rome, when they were expelled the city by that furious Alexander the Sixth, gave the bending branch therefore as an impress, with this motto, _Flecti potest, frangi non potest_, to signify that he might break them by force, but so never make them stoop, for they fled in the midst of their hard usage to the kingdom of Naples, and were honourably entertained by Frederick the king, according to their callings.

Gentleness in this case might have done much more, and let thine adversary be never so perverse, it may be by that means thou mayst win him; [3982]