The Allure Of Julian Lefray Part 23

Dean turned to face the bar, slapped both hands over his eyes and called out, "I'm not looking for love!" while making a kissy face.

We laughed and Josephine reached over to grab his arms before the patrons at the bar became even more confused by his antics.

"What about you, Jo?" I asked.

She took a sip of her drink, watching me over the lip of her gla.s.s.

"What about me?"

"Are you looking for love?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I plead the fifth."

"Why?"

"Because if I say I am, then your incessant flirting will only become more relentless."

"And if you're not?" I asked.

"Probably the same thing."

I laughed and nursed my scotch. Was she right? Did she have me so figured out? She certainly had the upper hand: I wanted her and she didn't want me.

Maybe it was time to mix it up, let her know what it felt like not to have me in her back pocket, ready and waiting for a green light.

I sipped my drink and scanned the bar, trying to glance through the crowd of women with fresh eyes. Then I saw her, near the back: a girl with light brown hair, tan skin, and a killer smile. She was sitting with friends and laughing. To be honest, she looked like she could have been Josephine's sister.

Yup. She would do just fine.

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Josephine Most people think of life as a merry-go-round, with highs and lows and slight b.u.mps in the road. At the end of the day, you're riding a pony, so how bad can it be? I looked at my life like a tilt-a-whirl. It spun me round and round until I thought I'd hurl everywhere, and then the carny just kept laughing and kicked it up another notch.

I'd had thirty minutes, maybe an hour tops, where I'd thought things would begin to settle down for me. My best friend was moving to New York. We'd live together and she'd help me pay rent. Life was good, right? No. Life was a pit of snakes.

Julian was going on a date with an adorable girl.

How could this happen, you might ask?

Dean.

Everything bad in my life could be blamed on Dean.

He'd suggested Julian find a girl to date. He'd encouraged him to go over and chat with her.

I hated Dean.

The girl was lovely, of course. Her name was Molly and she'd moved from California the year before. She had this annoyingly cute voice and big green eyes. I hadn't noticed at first, but I swear she and I could have been related. I mean, she would be the pretty sister and I would be the frumpy weird one with a chameleon, but still, the similarities were uncanny.

I couldn't figure out if Julian had picked her on purpose though. He didn't seem like the type to play games, and I knew there were only so many times I could tell him I was uninterested before he actually believed me. The sad part was, I didn't want him to listen. I was selfish, and I wanted him to keep flirting with me, even if it never turned into anything.

Why?

Because I was immature and in love with my unattainable boss, that's why.

The next day, Julian and I were riding in the back of a Lincoln town car, rushing from meeting to meeting. We'd already met with two interior design firms and were on our way to meet with a third. The sooner we picked one, the sooner Lorena's store would go under construction. He'd dressed up for the day in a navy suit with a light blue tie. I loved the way he looked in navy and I loved the way he looked in a suit. The combination was hard to handle all at once. He was staring out the window, his profile a perfect complement to the designer suit: chiseled jaw line, hard cheekbones, hazel eyes staring off into the distance.

"So when are you going to take Molly out?" I asked, peering at him from beneath my lashes.

The edge of his mouth turned down and he kept his gaze steady on the building outside our window.

"Soon," he answered with a half-hearted tone. I'd never seen him so distant.

"How soon?" I pushed.

"Why do you care?" he asked, finally turning to me with a hard stare.

I looked away and swallowed, annoyed with how short he was being with me.

"Because you're my friend and I want you to be happy."

He grunted and pulled a legal pad out of his briefcase. Clearly, the conversation about Molly was over. He uncapped his pen with his mouth and then started scribbling on the first blank page. I had no clue what he was writing, but I didn't dare interrupt him. If this was Julian in a bad mood, I didn't like it.

"You know what p.i.s.ses me off the most?" he asked, recapping his pen and waiting for me to turn toward him.

"What?"

"That you pretend like it wouldn't bother you if I went out with her."

I rolled my eyes. We were having this conversation? Now? In the middle of a workday, in between meetings, with a driver in the front seat listening to every word?

"I'm just making the best of a s.h.i.tty situation," I replied, trying to be as honest as possible. "I want you to be happy and I think Molly is a nice girl."

"Bulls.h.i.t," he said, cutting me off before I could continue.

"Oh really?" I said, sitting up in my seat and facing him. "You think you have everything figured out, Julian?"

"I think you're lying to yourself and you're lying to me."

I could feel my face growing warm. I was angry and I was two seconds away from letting my temper get the better of me.

"You think this has been easy for me? I moved to New York on my own and you're honestly the only friend I have here. Do you realize how scared I am that you and I will have a fling and then you'll move back to Boston, your sister will fire me, and I'll be left here without you and completely broke? You have no clue what I'm going through so why don't you save the lecture."

"Jo-"

I held my hand up to stop him.

"Not now," I protested.

The tears were already gathering in the corners of my eyes and we were minutes away from stepping into a meeting. I'd look so unprofessional if I walked in with a splotchy face and a choked up voice.

Julian reached out and gripped the patch of skin below my pencil skirt. He squeezed my knee twice, a sort of a gentle apology. I crossed my arms and kept my gaze pinned on the door. I wasn't ready to give in yet.

He took the hint and moved his hand away, brushing my skin with the pads of his fingers in the process. My stomach dipped at the loss of his touch, but there was nothing I could do. I'd pushed him away and now I had to live with my decision. I had a few moments to gather myself before the driver pulled over in front of our next destination. He hopped out of the front seat and rounded the car to open my door. I took a breath and wiped beneath my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "To answer your question, I'm not going out with Molly. It didn't seem right to lead her on when I'm interested in someone else."

I froze, absorbing his words and the implications they had. By the time I'd turned, mouth open, ready to speak, he'd already opened his door and stepped out. I wanted to reach out after him and yank him back inside the car. If I were more reckless or if I hadn't needed every single dime I earned working at Lorena Lefray Designs, I'd have jumped on him in a second. I'd have pinned him to the backseat of the town car, straddled his lap, pulled my skirt up, and had my wicked way with him.

If only...

"Are you coming, Jo?" Julian asked, leaning down to peek into my open doorway.

I could have told him everything then. It would have been so easy to come clean. Instead, I accepted his outstretched hand and squeezed my feelings deep, deep down into the pit of my stomach where I could pull them out at night when I lay in bed alone, contemplating how much longer I could get away with pretending that I was anything but hopelessly in love with him.

Chapter Thirty-Four.

Julian I hadn't talked to Jo in almost two days.

I'd gone thirty-one years without knowing her, yet now it felt wrong to even go one weekend without speaking to her. Things had been tense between us since I'd invited her to have drinks with Dean and me. I should have realized that the night was wrong from the very start. Trying to pick up women around Jo had been an idiotic way to try to push her to admit her feelings for me.

In the end, I'd only succeeded in pushing her further away.

At work, we hardly talked. Our conversations were tense and awkward. Even if I couldn't get her to love me, I wanted things to go back to how they'd been. Being friends with her was better than nothing.

"Bro! EARTH TO JULIAN!"

Lorena snapped her fingers in front of my face and I flinched back to stare at her. She propped her hands on her hips and stared daggers at me.

"I've been calling your name for the last five minutes and you've been off in la la land."

I stared out around my sister's room, at the boxes ready to be moved to the car waiting outside. We'd spent the morning prepping for her departure from the rehab facility and it was time to head out, back to her old apartment in Brooklyn. Our mother had spent the last few days sprucing it up and getting it ready for her to move back in. I'd already gone through a month earlier and thrown away any reminder of her old life, hunting through her cabinets and drawers and tossing anything that could lead her back down the slippery slope.

"Are you ready?" I asked, wrapping my arm across her shoulders and bringing her in for a hug.

She shrugged. "It's strange how much this place has come to feel like home."

"Are you nervous to leave?"

She narrowed her eyes and studied the window on the adjacent wall.

"To be honest, I'm ready to test my willpower in the real world. It wasn't hard to stay clean in here, but I know my friends will hear that I've moved back home and not all of them will support my choices."

I squeezed her shoulder. "They're vultures, Lorena. Let them circle overhead while you keep your life on track."

She frowned and nodded. "I know that, it's just hard to cut people out of your life like that. Not everything is so simple."

"Well I'm not planning on rushing back to Boston anytime soon. I'll drop by and we can hangout."

She groaned. "Cause hanging out with my big brother is sooo cool."

"Hey! I'm taking you to the final NYFW show tonight. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Hey, you're going as my date!" she said with a laugh. "Look everyone, the phoenix Lorena Lefray, rising from the ashes on the arm of her dorky brother."

I wasn't truly excited to go with Lorena to the fashion show. I'd thought of asking Josephine if she'd like to take my place, but it was my sister's first night back in the real world and I thought it'd be best to stick by her side. She'd been invited to sit in the front row and I'd be sitting there right there beside her.

I smiled. "It still counts. Now, c'mon. Let's load this stuff up. The car is waiting and if I'm your date you at least owe me dinner first."

"And here I thought you were easy," she quipped with a smile.

Chapter Thirty-Five.

Josephine My final night of working at NYFW had finally arrived and I walked in the back entrance of Lincoln Center with mixed emotions. The job had definitely had its rough moments, but I loved being behind the scenes of fashion shows and I was really going to miss the extra income.

With Lily moving to New York soon, I'd be able to make ends meet with just one job, but I still had to help her out until she found a job of her own. She'd been working in restaurants her whole life and had started a food blog a while back. She wasn't so much a chef as she was a critic. She loved eating good food and prided herself on knowing which restaurants were the best ones in town. New York would be the perfect city for her if only she'd just hurry up and arrive.

I stepped into the dressing room for the final show of the season. Marc Jacobs. Everyone who was anyone would be sitting in the audience and I was backstage working as a glorified janitor. A janitor surrounded by couture wearing black pants, a t-shirt, and a black baseball hat with "NYFW STAFF" stretched across the front. G.o.d, why have you forsaken me?

Models, hair stylists, makeup artists, stylists, and designers were running around like worker bees in the center of a hive. Elbows, knees, arms, fists-at any given moment, various body parts were colliding with me as people rushed to finish their jobs. I went back to emptying the trashcan in the corner of the room just as I heard someone start to yell at the front of the room.

"Where the h.e.l.l is Gillian Grace?" a man spat, spinning in a circle and flailing his arms wildly. "Do these models think contracts are a joke?!"

He was short and completely bald with circular framed gla.s.ses perched on his nose. He was dressed in all black, like me, except his clothing probably cost more than all of my organs combined would go for on the black market.

He clapped his hands and started yelling again.

"So help me G.o.d, if she doesn't arrive in three seconds, I will murder her entire family."

I reached for my broom and took a step back, lest he catch sight of me and direct his anger at me.