The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green Part 9

"I am, indeed," said our hero, to whom a new world was opening.

They had now turned round by the west end of St. Mary's, and were pa.s.sing Brasenose; and Mr. Larkyns drew Verdant's attention to the brazen nose that is such a conspicuous object over the entrance-gate. "That," said he, "was modelled from a cast of the Princ.i.p.al feature of the first Head of the college; and so the college was named Brazen-nose.+ The nose was formerly used as a place of punishment for any misbehaving Brazennosian, who had to sit upon it for two hours, and was

--- * A name given to Worcester College, from its being the most distant college.

+ Although we have a great respect for Mr. Larkyns, yet we strongly sus- [footnote continues next page]

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not ~countenanced~ until he had done so. These punishments were so frequent that they gradually wore down the nose to its present small dimensions.

"This round building," continued Mr. Larkyns, pointing to the Radcliffe, "is the Vice-Chancellor's house. He has to go each night up to that balcony on the top, and look round to see if all's safe.

Those heads," he said, as they pa.s.sed the Ashmolean, "are supposed to be the twelve Caesars; only there happen, I believe, to be thirteen of them. I think that they are the busts of the original Heads of Houses."

Mr. Larkyns' inventive powers having been now somewhat exhausted, he proposed that they should go back to Brazenface and have some lunch.

This they did; after which Mr. Verdant Green wrote to his mother a long account of his friend's kindness, and the trouble he had taken to explain the most interesting sights that could be seen by a Freshman.

"Are you writing to your governor, Verdant?" asked the friend, who had made his way to our hero's rooms, and was now perfuming them with a little tobacco-smoke.

"No; I am writing to my mama - mother, I mean!"

"Oh! to the missis!" was the reply; "that's just the same.

--- [cont.] pect that he is intentionally deceiving his friend. He has, however, the benefit of a doubt, as the authorities differ on the origin and meaning of the word Brasenose, as may be seen by the following notices, to the last two of which the editor of ~Notes and Queries~ has directed our attention:

"This curious appellation, which, whatever was the origin of it, has been perpetuated by the symbol of a brazen nose here and at Stamford, occurs with the modern orthography, but in one undivided word, so early as 1278, in an inquisition now printed in ~The Hundred Rolls~, though quoted by Wood from the ma.n.u.script record." -~Ingram's Memorials of Oxford~.

"There is a spot in the centre of the city where Alfred is said to have lived, and which may be called the native place or river-head of three separate societies still existing, University, Oriel, and Brasenose. Brasenose claims his palace, Oriel his church, and University his school or academy. Of these, Brasenose College is still called in its formal style ' the King's Hall,' which is the name by which Alfred himself, in his laws, calls his palace; and it has its present singular name from a corruption of ~brasinium~, or ~brasin-huse~, as having been originally located in that part of the royal mansion which was devoted to the then important accommodation of a brew house." -~From a Review of Ingram's Memorials in the British Critic~, vol. xxiv, p. 139.

"Brasen Nose Hall, as the Oxford antiquary has shewn, may be traced as far back as the time of Henry III., about the middle of the thirteenth century; and early in the succeeding reign, 6th Edward I., 1278, it was known by the name of Brasen Nose Hall, which peculiar name was undoubtedly owing, as the same author observes, to the circ.u.mstance of a nose of bra.s.s affixed to the gate. It is presumed, however, that this conspicuous appendage of the portal was not formed of the mixed metal which the word now denotes, but the genuine produce of the mine; as is the nose, or rather face, of a lion or leopard still remaining at Stamford, which also gave name to the edifice it adorned. And hence, when Henry VIII. debased the coin by an alloy of ~copper~, it was a common remark or proverb, that 'Testons were gone to Oxford, to study in ~Brasen~ Nose.' "

-~Churton's Life of Bishop Smyth~, p. 227.

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 71]

Well, had you not better take the opportunity to ask them to send you a proper certificate that you have been vaccinated, and had the measles favourably?"

"But what is that for?" inquired our Freshman, always anxious to learn. "Your father sent up the certificate of my baptism, and I thought that was the only one wanted."

"Oh," said Mr. Charles Larkyns, "they give you no end of trouble at these places; and they require the vaccination certificate before you go in for your responsions, - the Little-go, you know. You need not mention my name in your letter as having told you this. It will be quite enough to say that you understand such a thing is required."

Verdant accordingly penned the request; and Charles Larkyns smoked on, and thought his friend the very beau-ideal of a Freshman. "By the way, Verdant," he said, desirous not to lose any opportunity, "you are going to wine with Smalls this evening; and, - excuse me mentioning it, - but I suppose you would go properly dressed, - white tie, kids, and that sort of thing, eh? Well! ta, ta, till then. 'We meet again at Philippi!' "

Acting upon the hint thus given, our hero, when Hall was over made himself uncommonly spruce in a new white tie, and spotless kids; and as he was dressing, drew a mental picture of the party to which he was going. It was to be composed of quiet, steady men, who were such hard readers as to be called "fast men." He should therefore hear some delightful and rational conversation on the literature of ancient Greece and Rome, the present standard of scholarship in the University, speculations on the forthcoming prize-poems, comparisons between various expectant cla.s.s-men, and delightful topics of a kindred nature; and the evening would be pa.s.sed in a grave and sedate manner; and after a couple of gla.s.ses of wine had been leisurely sipped, they should have a very enjoyable tea, and would separate for an early rest, mutually gratified and improved.

This was the nature of Mr. Verdant Green's speculations; but whether they were realized or no, may be judged by transferring the scene a few hours later to Mr. Smalls' room.

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CHAPTER VIII.

MR. VERDANT GREEN'S MORNING REFLECTIONS ARE NOT SO PLEASANT AS HIS EVENING DIVERSIONS.

MR. SMALLS' room was filled with smoke and noise. Supper had been cleared away; the gla.s.ses were now sparkling on the board, and the wine was ruby bright. The table, moreover, was supplied with spirituous liquors and mixtures of all descriptions, together with many varieties of "cup," - a cup which not only cheers, but occasionally inebriates; and this miscellany of liquids was now being drunk on the premises by some score and a half of gentlemen, who were sitting round the table, and standing or lounging about in various parts of the room. Heading the table, sat the host, loosely attired in a neat dressing gown of crimson and blue, in an att.i.tude which allowed him to swing his legs easily, if not gracefully, over the arm of his chair, and to converse cheerfully with Charles Larkyns, who was leaning over the chair-back. Visible to the naked eye, on Mr.

Smalls' left hand, appeared the white tie and full evening dress which decorated the person of Mr. Verdant Green.

A great consumption of tobacco was going on, not only through the medium of cigars, but also of meerschaums, short "dhudheens" of envied colour, and the genuine yard of clay; and Verdant, while he was scarcely aware of what he was doing, found himself, to his great amazement, with a real cigar in his mouth, which he was industriously sucking, and with great difficulty keeping alight. Our hero felt that the unexpected exigencies of the case demanded from him some sacrifice; while he consoled himself by the reflection, that, on the h.o.m.oeopathic principle of "likes cure likes," a cigar was the best preventive against any ill effects arising from the combination of the thirty gentlemen who were generating smoke with all the ardour of lime-kilns or young volcanoes, and filling Mr. Smalls' small room with an atmosphere that was of the smoke, smoky. Smoke produces thirst; and the cup, punch, egg-flip, sherry-cobblers, and other liquids, which had been so liberally provided, were being consumed by the members of the party as though it had been their drink from childhood; while the conversation was of a kind very different to what our hero had antic.i.p.ated, being for the most part vapid and unmeaning, and (must it be confessed?) occasionally too highly flavoured with improprieties for it to be faithfully recorded in these pages of most perfect propriety.

The literature of ancient Greece and Rome was not even referred to; and when Verdant, who, from the unusual com-

[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 73]

bination of the smoke and liquids, was beginning to feel extremely amiable and talkative, - made a reflective observation (addressed to the company generally) which sounded like the words "Nunc vino pellite curas, Cras ingens,"* - he was immediately interrupted by the voice of Mr. Bouncer, crying out, "Who's that talking shop about engines? Holloa, Giglamps!" - Mr. Bouncer, it must be observed, had facetiously adopted the ~sobriquet~ which had been bestowed on Verdant and his spectacles on their first appearance outside the Oxford coach, - "Holloa, Giglamps, is that you ill-treating the dead languages? I'm ashamed of you! a venerable party like you ought to be above such things. There! don't blush, old feller, but give us a song! It's the punishment for talking shop, you know."

There was an immediate hammering of tables and jingling of gla.s.ses, accompanied with loud cries of "Mr. Green for a song! Mr. Green! Mr.

Giglamps' song!" cries which nearly brought our hero to the verge of idiotcy.

Charles Larkyns saw this, and came to the rescue. "Gentlemen," he said, addressing the company, "I know that my friend Verdant ~can~ sing, and that, like a good bird, he ~will~

--- * Horace, car. i od. vii -=-

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sing. But while he is mentally looking over his numerous stock of songs, and selecting one for our amus.e.m.e.nt, I beg to fill up our valuable time, by asking you to fill up a b.u.mper to the health of our esteemed host Smalls (~vociferous cheers~) - a man whose private worth is only to be equalled by the purity of his milk-punch and the excellence of his weeds (~hear hear~). b.u.mpers, gentlemen, and no heel-taps! and though I am sorry to interfere with Mr. Fosbrooke's private enjoyments, yet I must beg to suggest to him that he has been so much engaged in drowning his personal cares in the bowl over which he is so skilfully presiding, that my gla.s.s has been allowed to sparkle on the board empty and useless." And as Charles Larkyns held out his gla.s.s towards Mr. Fosbrooke and the punch-bowl, he trolled out, in a rich, manly voice, old Cowley's anacreontic:

"Fill up the bowl then, fill it high!

Fill all the gla.s.ses there! For why Should every creature drink but I?

Why, man of morals, tell me why?"

By the time that the "man of morals" had ladled out for the company, and that Mr. Smalls' health had been drunk and responded to amid uproarious applause, Charles Larkyns' friendly diversion in our hero's favour had succeeded, and Mr. Verdant Green had regained his confidence, and had decided upon one of those vocal efforts which, in the bosom of his own family, and to the pianoforte accompaniment of his sisters, was accustomed to meet with great applause. And when he had hastily tossed off another gla.s.s of milk-punch (merely to clear his throat), he felt bold enough to answer the spirit-rappings which were again demanding "Mr. Green's song!" It was given much in the following manner:

~Mr. Verdant Green (in low plaintive tones, and fresh alarm at hearing the sounds of his own voice)~. "I dreamt that I dwe-elt in mar-arble halls, with" -

~Mr. Bouncer (interrupting)~. "Spit it out, Giglamps! Dis child can't hear whether it's Maudlin Hall you're singing about, or what."

~Omnes~. "Order! or-~der~! Shut up, Bouncer!"

~Charles Larkyns (encouragingly)~. "Try back, Verdant: never mind."

~Mr. Verdant Green (tries back, with increased confusion of ideas, resulting princ.i.p.ally from the milk-punch and tobacco)~. "I dreamt that I dwe-elt in mar-arble halls, with va.s.sals and serfs at my si-hi-hide; and - and - I beg your pardon, gentlemen, I really forget - oh, I know! - and I also dre-eamt, which ple-eased me most - no, that's not it" -

~Mr. Bouncer (who does not particularly care for the words of a