The Adventures of Don Lavington Part 2

"'Tain't true, Master Don," cried Jem. "She's always a-wherritting me."

"Now I appeal to Master Don: was it me, sir, as was late? There's the tea ready, and the bread and b.u.t.ter cut, and the watercresses turning limp, and the flies getting at the s'rimps. It arn't your fault, sir, I know, and I'm not grumbling, but there never was such a place as this for flies."

"It's the sugar, Sally," said Don, who had sauntered aimlessly in with Jem, and as he stared round the neat little kitchen with the pleasant meal all ready, he felt as if he should like to stay to tea instead of going home.

"Yes, it's the sugar, sir, I know; and you'd think it would sweeten some people's temper, but it don't."

"Which if it's me you mean, and you're thinking of this morning--"

"Which I am, Jem, and you ought to be ashamed. You grumbled over your breakfast, and you reg'larly worried your dinner, and all on account of a b.u.t.ton."

"Well, then, you should sew one on. When a man's married he does expect to find b.u.t.tons on his clean shirts."

"Yes, and badly enough you want 'em, making 'em that sticky as you do."

"I can't help that; it's only sugar."

"Only sugar indeed! And if it was my last words I'd say it--there _was_ a b.u.t.ton on the neck."

"Well, I know that," cried Jem; "and what's the good of a b.u.t.ton being on, if it comes off directly you touch it? Is it any good, Mas' Don?"

"Oh, don't ask me," cried the lad, half-amused, half annoyed, and wishing they'd ask him to tea.

"He dragged it off, Master Don."

"I didn't."

"You did, Jem, and you know you did, just to aggravate me."

"Wasn't half sewn on."

"It was. I can't sew your b.u.t.tons on with copper wire."

"You two are just like a girl and boy," cried Don. "Here you have everything comfortable about you, and a good place, and you're always quarrelling."

"Well, it's his fault, sir."

"No, sir, it's her'n."

"It's both your faults, and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves."

"I'm not," said Sally; "and I wish I'd never seen him."

"And I'm sure I wish the same," said Jem despondently. "I never see such a temper."

"There, Master Don," cried the droll-looking little Dutch doll of a woman. "That's how he is always going on."

"There, Jem, now you've made your poor little wife cry. You are the most discontented fellow I ever saw."

"Come, I like that, Master Don; you've a deal to brag about, you have.

Why, you're all at sixes and sevens at home."

This was such a home thrust that Don turned angrily and walked out of the place.

"There!" cried Sally. "I always knew how it would be. Master Don was the best friend we had, and now you've offended him, and driven him away."

"Shouldn't ha' said nasty things then," grumbled Jem, sitting down and attacking his tea.

"Now he'll go straight to his uncle and tell him what a man you are."

"Let him," said Jem, with his mouth full of bread and b.u.t.ter.

"And of course you'll lose your place, and we shall be turned out into the street to starve."

"Will you be quiet, Sally? How's a man to eat his tea with you going on like that?"

"Turned out into the world without a chance of getting another place.

Oh! It's too bad. Why did I ever marry such a man as you?"

"'Cause you were glad of the chance," grumbled Jem, raising his hand to pour out some tea, but it was pushed aside indignantly, and the little woman busily, but with a great show of indignation, filled and sweetened her husband's cup, which she dabbed down before him, talking all the while, and finishing with,--

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Jem."

"I am," he grumbled. "Ashamed that I was ever such a stupid as to marry a girl who's always dissatisfied. Nice home you make me."

"And a nice home you make me, sir; and don't eat your victuals so fast.

It's like being at the wild beast show."

"That's right; go on," grumbled Jem, doubling his rate of consumption.

"Grudge me my meals now. Good job if we could undo it all, and be as we was."

"I wish we could," cried the little woman, whose eyes seemed to say that her lips were not telling the truth.

"So do I," cried Jem, tossing off his third cup of tea; and then to his little wife's astonishment he took a thick slice of bread and b.u.t.ter in each hand, clapped them together as if they were cymbals, rose from the table and put on his hat.

"Where are you going, Jem?"

"Out."

"What for?"

"To eat my bread and b.u.t.ter down on the quay."

"But why, Jem?"

"'Cause there's peace and quietness there."

_Bang_! Went the door, and little Mrs Wimble stood gazing at it angrily for a few moments before sitting down and having what she called "a good cry," after which she rose, wiped her eyes, and put away the tea things without partaking of any herself.