The Admirable Bashville Part 7

CASHEL. Sir, I do beseech you To name the bone, or limb, or special place Where you would have me hit him with this fist.

CETEWAYO. Thou hast a n.o.ble brow; but much I fear Thine adversary will disfigure it.

CASHEL. There's a divinity that shapes our ends Rough hew them how we will. Give me the gloves.

THE MASTER OF THE REVELS. Paradise, a professor.

Cashel Byron, Also professor. Time! [_They spar._

LYDIA. Eternity It seems to me until this fight be done.

CASHEL. Dread monarch: this is called the upper cut, And this a hook-hit of mine own invention.

The hollow region where I plant this blow Is called the mark. My left, you will observe, I chiefly use for long shots: with my right Aiming beside the angle of the jaw And landing with a certain delicate screw I without violence knock my foeman out.

Mark how he falls forward upon his face!

The rules allow ten seconds to get up; And as the man is still quite silly, I Might safely finish him; but my respect For your most gracious majesty's desire To see some further triumphs of the science Of self-defence postpones awhile his doom.

PARADISE. How can a bloke do hisself proper justice With pillows on his fists?

[_He tears off his gloves and attacks_ CASHEL _with his bare knuckles_.

THE CROWD. Unfair! The rules!

CETEWAYO. The joy of battle surges boiling up And bids me join the mellay. Isandhlana And Victory! [_He falls on the bystanders._

THE CHIEFS. Victory and Isandhlana!

[_They run amok. General panic and stampede. The ring is swept away._

LUCIAN. Forbear these most irregular proceedings.

Police! Police!

[_He engages_ CETEWAYO _his umbrella_. _The balcony comes down with a crash. Screams from its occupants. Indescribable confusion._

CASHEL [_dragging_ LYDIA _from the struggling heap_].

My love, my love, art hurt?

LYDIA. No, no; but save my sore o'ermatched cousin.

A POLICEMAN. Give us a lead, sir. Save the English flag.

Africa tramples on it.

CASHEL. Africa!

Not all the continents whose mighty shoulders The dancing diamonds of the seas bedeck Shall trample on the blue with spots of white.

Now, Lydia, mark thy lover. [_He charges the Zulus._

LYDIA. Hercules Cannot withstand him. See: the king is down; The tallest chief is up, heels over head, Tossed corklike o'er my Cashel's sinewy back; And his lieutenant all deflated gasps For breath upon the sand. The others fly In vain: his fist o'er magic distances Like a chameleon's tongue shoots to its mark; And the last African upon his knees Sues piteously for quarter. [_Rushing into_ CASHEL'S _arms_.]

Oh, my hero: Thou'st saved us all this day.

CASHEL. 'Twas all for thee.

CETEWAYO. [_trying to rise_]. Have I been struck by lightning?

LUCIAN. Sir, your conduct Can only be described as most ungentlemanly.

POLICEMAN. One of the p.r.o.ne is white.

CASHEL. 'Tis Paradise.

POLICEMAN. He's choking: he has something in his mouth.

LYDIA [_to_ CASHEL]. Oh Heaven! there is blood upon your hip.

You're hurt.

CASHEL. The morsel in yon wretch's mouth Was bitten out of me.

[_Sensation._ LYDIA _screams and swoons in_ CASHEL'S _arms_.

ACT III

_Wiltstoken. A room in the Warren Lodge_

LYDIA _at her writing table_

LYDIA. O Past and Present, how ye do conflict As here I sit writing my father's life!

The autumn woodland woos me from without With whispering of leaves and dainty airs To leave this fruitless haunting of the past.

My father was a very learned man.

I sometimes think I shall oldmaided be Ere I unlearn the things he taught to me.

_Enter_ POLICEMAN

POLICEMAN. Asking your ladyship to pardon me For this intrusion, might I be so bold As ask a question of your people here Concerning the Queen's peace?

LYDIA. My people here Are but a footman and a simple maid; And both have craved a holiday to join Some local festival. But, sir, your helmet Proclaims the Metropolitan Police.

POLICEMAN. Madam, it does; and I may now inform you That what you term a local festival Is a most hideous outrage 'gainst the law, Which we to quell from London have come down: In short, a prizefight. My sole purpose here Is to inquire whether your ladyship Any bad characters this afternoon Has noted in the neighborhood.

LYDIA. No, none, sir.

I had not let my maid go forth to-day Thought I the roads unsafe.

POLICEMAN. Fear nothing, madam: The force protects the fair. My mission here Is to wreak ultion for the broken law.

I wish your ladyship good afternoon.

LYDIA. Good afternoon. [_Exit_ POLICEMAN.

A prizefight! O my heart!

Cashel: hast thou deceived me? Can it be Thou hast backslidden to the hateful calling I asked thee to eschew?

O wretched maid, Why didst thou flee from London to this place To write thy father's life, whenas in town Thou might'st have kept a guardian eye on him-- What's that? A flying footstep--