Text Me Part 21

She had forgotten to pick her keys up when Becky rushed them out. She tugged hard on the doork.n.o.b. "Dammit. I feel like I'm being held hostage."

"You are. She slid your keys to the side of the counter when you weren't looking. I noticed but it didn't really register until now. That's how my mother resolves things. She's always been like that, which is why I chose not to come home after Carley died."

"Carley was your sister?"

"Yeah. My mom's good at expressing herself. She's big on communication. That was her way of getting past the loss. She talked about it. All the time, in fact. I hated it. Every time I came home, everything we said and did revolved around Carley. It was like a mosque in this house."

"I bet that was stifling for you. You felt unimportant." How sad his parents had been so swept up in their grief, they forgot to love their remaining child.

"No, that wasn't it." He picked a twig from his pants and tossed it in the gra.s.s. "It was like we were all supposed to want to stop living simply because she did."

What? Abby swiveled and stared at the back of his head. Had his sister committed suicide? Was that what haunted him? "What are you saying? She wanted to die? She did it on purpose?"

His shoulders were stiff and the hair flitted over his head, tossing the strands around at will. "No. People don't do what she did on purpose. It just happened."

"What exactly did she do?" This was why the texting had turned into such a fiasco-he spoke in riddles and innuendo. Yeah, right. Dump the blame on him.

Carter shoved off the steps and trudged toward the backyard, ending the conversation before it became too intense. "I think Mom used to hide a key on the back step. Let me check."

Abby saw no choice but to follow. She hopped to the ground and jogged to catch him. "You didn't answer my-" She rounded the corner.

He tiptoed to retrieve something from the overhang of the door.

"Wow, there's some great security."

He slipped the key in the lock and turned-or at least attempted to. It didn't budge. He tried again with no success, then removed it and returned it the hiding spot. "I guess she changed the locks."

"When was the last time that key was used?"

Carter shrugged. "I don't know, maybe eight years ago?"

"If it doesn't work, why did you put it back?"

"Good point." He left it and hopped to the ground, slipping his hands in his pockets.

Abby did a one-eighty of the yard. "So, any other possible places to look for a key? A secret stash somewhere?" A group of ducks bolted to the air behind the shed where Abby had first seen Becky. "Look!" She raised a finger toward the birds.

"We get a lot of them out here. Mostly green heads."

"So, that hunting you did with your dad, was it here? In the fields behind the house?" She imagined a young boy that spent his days running through the fields in the summer and hunting ducks in the fall. It must have been a paradise for a child explorer.

"Sometimes. When I was younger, we went out there." He pointed past the barn. "But after Carley was gone, we went on hunting trips. I always thought Dad had to get away from it just as badly as Mom wanted to memorialize it."

"How old were you when she died?"

"Fifteen. I had almost finished my freshman year. She was eighteen months older, a soph.o.m.ore."

"Oh, I thought she was-"

"Little? Nah, she'd just gotten her driver's license a few months earlier. She wasn't one of those who rushed to get it, mainly because she had no need. There's not a whole lot to do here."

"Tell me about her." Abby half-expected a snarling comment.

He simply walked away, toward the barn.

With his hands still in his pockets, Carter strode softly across the thick gra.s.s. "Why don't I walk you around the place while we're waiting? Feel like seeing farm life up close?"

Hmmm. They had just walked eight miles to get to the house. Wasn't that close enough? The wind whipped his hair away from his face as he turned in profile. Okay, up close with that might be nice.

"Sure." Besides, there wasn't anything else to do and she obviously made him uncomfortable with the questions. So uncomfortable he had no desire to sit and talk any further.

They walked in silence toward the shed, veering to the right on an almost hidden footpath, and made their way toward the field beyond.

When they cleared the structure, her breath caught in her throat. "Oh my G.o.d, you had this in your backyard and can't understand the allure of flowers?"

They stood at the crest of a hill looking toward a meadow that was ringed by trees. The entire area was carpeted with bluebonnets, starting just below their feet. The only break in the sea of blue was real water, as in a small pond with a dock jutting into it. The darker greenish blue of the pond seemed dismal compared to the vibrant color of the flowers. Abby sucked in the scent. She didn't bother to stifle a moan of pleasure.

Carter shrugged. "It's a little overwhelming, isn't it?"

"That isn't exactly the word that comes to my mind. More like beautiful, amazing, or something straight out of a Hallmark card. I don't understand. How can you see this day in and day out for weeks every year and not find it the most exotic and enticing thing ever? I could pitch a tent out here and stay for days."

He snickered. "Not unless you want to get stung by a hundred bees ... or worse, mosquitos." He trudged forward into the tall sea of blue, unconcerned for the survival of the beautiful stalks.

"Watch out, you'll trample them." She reached for his arm, attempting to hold him back.

He walked straight over the state flower with no concern. Wasn't there a law against that?

"Aren't they protected or something?"

He turned with a humorous glint in his eyes. "People always think that. They also think you can't pick them. It's not true. Sure, you're not supposed to dig them up or go tailgating through them doing figure eights in a car but it's not illegal. Someone might get p.i.s.sed and beat you up, but other than that, it doesn't matter. It's okay to pick them and it's okay to occasionally step on one or two."

Carter's glance dropped to the hand on his arm, which she withdrew. d.a.m.n, if that hadn't sent a spark through her-again.

"No, it's wrong to pick them. They're the state flower. I know that's not-" She stopped when he plucked a handful of the stalks then stepped toward her.

"Here. Turn me in if you want, but no one cares. This is private property and the flowers are only protected in the manner that private property is."

The clump of flowers he thrust to her sent a burst of the most heavenly scent through her brain. When he jiggled the bunch again so she'd reach up, she didn't. He stepped closer and bent to her face. Waiting.

She shook her head. "I can't."

"Are you seriously telling me you don't want them? Come on. Aren't you the girl who told me about the aphrodisiac qualities of flowers in general? This has got to be right up your alley. Besides, don't you trust me? Surely, you've broken worse rules than that in your lifetime?"

Okay, he had her there. Especially if one took into account the past weeks. She'd broken a lot of rules in her communication with him, but none of those were illegal. She glanced toward the house, fully expecting the town sheriff to roll up and handcuff them both.

Carter threw his head back and laughed. It wasn't much of a laugh, but still more than she'd seen in a long time. "I don't know what's funnier, seeing you splayed on the ground with your panties in full view for the town or you standing there thinking you'll get arrested for taking a few flowers from me. Abby, trust me on this. It's okay."

He tucked the flowers into the opening of her neckline, patted it, and turned back to the hill to continue stomping through the plants with little regard for their beauty. The dainty scent filled her nostrils and she lifted them from her blouse, wishing she had water to store them safely.

It was difficult to match his steps, but she tried hard to keep her shorter footprints well within his, in order to minimize their destructive path. Even if it was okay, it didn't seem appropriate. They moved down the hill toward the pond. Again, she imagined a small boy running through the fields and stopping to throw a hook in the water.

"Are there fish in the pond?"

"There used to be. We haven't used it much in the past fifteen years or so. Dad stocked it when I was little and we pulled a few catfish out."

There was a large yellow and white boat tied to the dock. It was anch.o.r.ed by a small grouping of faded plastic flowers. A shrine? A tribute? Oh, s.h.i.t. No.

When Carter's footsteps suddenly veered away from the dock and toward the trees, her gut turned over in pain. "Carter, was that for Carley? I know you don't want to talk about it, but it's nice someone took the time to leave something for her."

He shrugged and kept trudging, not appearing to care whether she followed. "I imagine that was Jennifer Seely. She used to come down a lot and sit and talk to the water as if they were down there. She started seeing a shrink after her parents caught her out here in the dark one night. Mom said she still comes out every two or three years when she visits her parents. They live a few miles down the road."

Abby's stomach turned. She hesitated to ask. "Jennifer was a friend of your sister's?"

He stopped suddenly. Abby slammed into his back. His scent shot through her as her face smashed against his shirt. He turned, steadied her, and held her forearms-in a death grip. His knuckles were tense and white. "She was Carley's best friend. She was with them when they drowned."

Drowned? No wonder he avoided the area, but-did he say they? More than just his sister? Her curiosity was piqued and she bit her desire to ask. Would she have wanted to talk about it in his shoes? c.r.a.p.

"I'm sorry, Carter. So sorry. I didn't know. I don't really know what else to say."

"There's nothing to say-and no need to apologize. It's not your fault. And despite what Mom wants to think, it's not hers either. Carley did it to herself. She wasn't supposed to be there. She lied. To all of us. So, when things went wrong, there wasn't anyone around to help."

Abby noticed the tic in his jaw. Anger? He was angry at her for dying? "Even if she had told you, would you have been able to save her-them?" Abby searched his face.

"She wouldn't have been there. I'd have told. Or stopped them." He released her arms and lowered himself to the gra.s.s that sloped gently toward the water. Carter lifted a knee and rested his forearm across it then pulled a dandelion from the ground and started plucking the yellow flower apart, piece by piece.

Abby squatted next to him and wrapped her legs under her. "Which is why she didn't tell you."

He closed his eyes, while lifting his head toward the sky. "Abs ... she'd be alive today if she hadn't been lying to all of us over and over again about where she went, what she did, and who she was with. She was such a-"

"Teenager. She was a teenager, doing normal things a lot of teens have done. Was she a good swimmer?"

"Swim team six years. That wasn't the problem."

"Then ... "

"She and Jennifer had been doing these sunbathing and swimming outings for weeks. They even skipped school on occasion ... and that day too. They wanted to get tanned so they could look good when they went to the lake with Jennifer's parents the week after school let out. I don't get why that's such a big deal with women. Deanna, the doc's daughter, heard them talk about it and bribed them to take her with them-she was going to tell if they didn't take her. Her dad knew nothing until the sheriff came by his office just as he left for the night."

Abby stood silent while a bee buzzed her head. She wanted to jolt away or swat it, but moving might break the mood and she wanted to hear-whatever needed telling. The golden body and silky wings flitted around her arm then up toward her face. The buzz rang out between them until Carter moved closer and swatted on her behalf.

"Deanna neglected to tell them she couldn't swim. At all. I mean, what kind of parent doesn't teach their child to swim? That's a basic thing, for G.o.d's sake, and he's a doctor. Hadn't he ever considered the danger? When Carley and Jennifer decided to jump in and cool off, Carley thought it was funny to push Deanna off the dock." He pointed at the end of the wood planks. "Into ten foot deep water."

"Oh my G.o.d, Carter."

"I know. Carley had no idea because she jumped in too and swam to the dock. She and Jenn panicked when Deanna never came up. They could see her hair floating and jumped in. Or at least that's what Jennifer said. They tried to pull her up, but Deanna lost it and started squeezing and clinging to Carley. She tried to grapple with Jennifer too, but she pulled free and swam."

"She didn't try to get them out? Or call for help?"

He nodded. "She screamed and screamed, but everyone was either at school or work. She ran up to the shed and got a rope then dove down and tied it to them and pulled them in-but it was too late."

"You were angry." She stated it matter-of-fact. The pain in his eyes flashed and he squeezed them tight. Did his lip quiver?

"It was an accident. She tried to save both of them but couldn't. I wish-it's amazing how much can change in just a few minutes-and no matter whether a person wants to go back and do it again, you can't. It's not like playing a game where you get a do-over."

"You wish she'd told you they were going."

"I-Yeah, like I said, I could have stopped her. Or at least been the one trying to help. I was bigger even then. She was such a liar. Why? I mean, we were close growing up. She had no need to keep secrets from me."

Abby hated to state the obvious, but he was her little brother. "You said yourself you would have told. You really think a teenage girl's going to skip school to sunbathe and let her little brother in on it?" How many times had her brother and sisters been caught doing similar things? She had no idea. She only knew what she heard her mother and father fighting over. That had been a lot. The only times she was ever informed was when her older sister wanted to use her as an excuse to go somewhere. "Are you telling me you never did anything like that?"

His gaze bored holes in hers. "I've done a lot of things, but nothing that could have killed someone."

"Oh, come on. I doubt she even considered that at the time. They were just getting a tan."

He shrugged and reclined into the gra.s.s, resting his head on intertwined fingers. "Who cares what was going through her head. All I know? She lied and she died."

Abby's stomach sunk. That made what she'd done even worse. It wasn't just a lie-it was a lack of trust. A whole series of them, in fact. Was he projecting what happened with his sister onto the stories she, herself, had told? Her throat suddenly closed up. She lied. I lied. We both weren't who you thought. Who you hoped. Who could be?

Abby lowered back onto the gra.s.s at his side and closed her eyes also. What was there to say? Obviously he thought, had he known, his sister would have lived. That he could have prevented it. That her dishonesty killed her. What had Abby done? She'd lied also-about even worse things. There was no way this could possibly end well, and d.a.m.ned if she hadn't wanted it to. All the mistakes she made were done to, what? Protect him? Or maybe just cover her a.s.s? s.h.i.t.

The wind brushed gently against Abby's face and carried footsteps on wood. Soft steps along weathered-gray slats above the water.

She rose to her elbows. A figure stood at the water's edge. A young woman in scrubs? Recognition wafted over her-the pharmacist.

"Jennifer?" Abby started at Carter's voice just as the woman spun around and saw them. She wiped her face and forced a smile. From where they were, Abby had no idea whether the woman's eyes joined the smile or sparkled with tears. She imagined the latter.

"Hi there." Jennifer waved and strode up the bank to stand over them, blocking the sun. "Your mother said you were here. I thought I'd stop by. When you didn't answer, I came to see-"

Carter swept a hand around him, motioning at the flowered hillside. "Can you believe how they've grown? Who would have thought two little packets of seeds would do all this?"

Jennifer swiveled a head up the hill and back. "Nice, isn't it?"

He nodded. "She'd have loved it."

Jennifer's eyes misted and she crossed her arms over her chest, looking up to the house behind them. "I suppose."

Abby was lost to some extent and lifted a hand to shade her eyes. "You planted the bluebonnets?"

She nodded. "It was a tribute to them. I had to do something. I'd already tried everything else-drinking myself into a stupor, nearly flunking out of school, drugs-you name it. Then I decided if I hadn't already killed myself, maybe I wasn't supposed to die that day. Maybe none of us were, but at least I had a chance to do something. So I planted these and told myself if they grew, then that meant my friends were in a beautiful place."

Carter leaned back again and closed his eyes tight. A sting of water puddled in Abby's lids. She stroked a hand over his stomach without thought. He caught her fingers and strung his into them. She stared at his hand clutched to hers as if draining some strength-or maybe comfort from the touch. With his eyes still closed, he spoke. "Well, this is certainly a beautiful place."

A bee zipped over Jennifer's head and she waved it away. "No-not here. I meant, I come out here and talk to them sometimes. When I planted the flowers, I remember saying ... " Her voice drifted, quiet.

Abby turned. "Go ahead. It's okay."

Jennifer squared her shoulders and dropped a hand to play with the hem of her shirt. "I told them I was sorry. That I tried but I wasn't strong enough. I wished I had been-every time I think back, I wish I'd stayed down there with Carley and been able to get Deanna calmed down enough to bring her up. When she kicked and scratched, I got scared and just saved myself. Carley stayed with her. I didn't."

She stopped speaking for a few minutes and Abby couldn't look up, just kept her hand clutched with Carter's while he lay silent.