Ten Thousand a-Year Volume Iii Part 2

"Look on _this_ picture----and on THIS!"

Mr. t.i.tmouse's ACTUAL Speech.

"GENTLEMEN,--Most uncommon, unaccustomed as I am, (_cheers_)--happy--memorable,--proudest--high honor--unworthy, (_cheering_)--day of my life--important crisis, (_cheers_)--day gone by, and arrived--too late, (_cheering_)--civil and religions liberty all over the world, (_immense cheering, led off by Mr. Mudflint._) Yes, gentlemen,--I would observe--it is unnecessary to say--pa.s.sing of that truly glorious Bill--charter--no mistake--Britons never shall be slaves, (_enthusiastic cheers._)--Gentlemen, would be ruin to go back, while to stand still was impossible, (_cheers;_) and, therefore, there was nothing for it but to go forward, (_great cheering_). He looked upon the pa.s.sing of the Bill for giving Everybody Everything, as establishing an entirely new order of things, (_cheers._) in which the people had been roused to a sense of their being the only legitimate source of power, (_cheering._) They had, like Samson, though weakened by the cruelty and torture of his tyrants, bowed down and broken into pieces the gloomy fabric of aristocracy. The words 'Civil and Religious Liberty' were now no longer a by-word and a reproach, (_cheers;_) but, as had been finely observed by the gentleman who had so eloquently proposed him to their notice, the glorious truth had gone forth to the ends of the earth, that no man was under any responsibility for his opinions or his belief, any more than for the shape of his nose, (_universal cheering._) A spirit of tolerance, amelioration, and renovation, was now abroad, actively engaged in repairing our defective and dilapidated const.i.tution, the relic of a barbarous age--with some traces of modern duty, but more of Church Establishment to a--difference between me and my honorable opponent, (_loud cheers and groans,_) I live among you, (_cheers_)--spend my money in the borough, (_cheers_)--no business to come here, ('_No, no!_')--right about, close borough, (_hisses!_)--patient attention, which I will not further trespa.s.s upon, (_'hear! hear!' and loud cheering,_)--full explanation--rush early to the--base, b.l.o.o.d.y, and brutal (_cheers_)--poll triumphant--extinguish forever, (_cheers._)--Gentlemen, these are my sentiments--wish, you many happy--re--hem! a-hem--and by early displaying a determination to--(_cries of 'we will! we will!'_)--eyes of the whole country upon you--crisis of our national representation--patient attention--latest day of my life.--Gentlemen, yours truly."

Mr. t.i.tmouse's REPORTED Speech.

"Silence having been restored, Mr. t.i.tmouse said, that he feared it was but too evident that he was unaccustomed to scenes so exciting as the present one--that was one source of his embarra.s.sment; but the greatest was, the enthusiastic reception with which he had been honored, and of which he owned himself quite unworthy, (_cheers._) He agreed with the gentleman who had proposed him in so very able and powerful a speech, (_cheers,_) that we had arrived at a crisis in our national history, (_cheering_)--a point at which it unaccustomed as I am to address an a.s.sembly of this--ahem! (_'hear!

hear! hear!' and cheers_)--civil and religious liberty all over the world, (_cheers_)--yet the tongue can feel where the heart cannot express the (_cheers_)--so help me----! universal suffrage and cheap and enlightened equality, (_cries of 'that's it, lad!'_)--which can never fear to see established in this country--(_cheers_)--if only true to--industrious cla.s.ses and corn-laws--yes, gentlemen, I say corn-laws--for I am of op--(_hush! cries of 'ay, lad, what dost say about_ THEM?') working out the principles which conduce to the establishment a--a--a--civil and religious liberty of the press!

(_cheers!_) and the working cla.s.ses, (_hush!_)--Gentlemen, unaccustomed as I am--well--at any rate--will you--I say--_will_ you? (_vehement cries of 'No! No! Never!'_) unless you are true to yourselves! Gentlemen, without going into--vote by Ballot (_cheers_) and quarterly Parliaments, (_loud cheering,_) three polar stars of my public conduct--(here the great central banner was waved to and fro, amid enthusiastic cheering)--and reducing the over-grown ancient ignorance and unsightliness, (_cheers._) The great Bill he alluded to, had roused the ma.s.ses into political being, (_immense cheering,_) and made them sensible of the necessity of keeping down a rapacious and domineering oligarchy, (_groans._) Was not the liberty of the press placed now upon an intelligible and imperishable basis?--Already were its purifying and invigorating influences perceptible, (_cheering_)--and he trusted that it would never cease to direct its powerful energies to the demolition of the many remaining barriers to the improvement of mankind, (_cheers._) The corn-laws must be repealed, the taxes must be lowered, the army and navy reduced; vote by ballot and universal suffrage conceded, the quarterly meeting of Parliament secured, and the revenues of the church be made applicable to civil purposes. Marriage must be no longer fenced about by religious ceremonials, (_cheers._) He found that there were three words on his banner, which were worth a thousand speeches--_Peace, Retrenchment, Reform_.--which, as had been happily observed by the gentleman who had so ably proposed him"----

[And so on for a column more; in the course of which there were really so many flattering allusions to the opening speech of the proposer of t.i.tmouse, that it has often occurred to me as probable, that the "Reverend" Mr. Mudflint had supplied the above report of Mr. t.i.tmouse's speech.]

CHAPTER II.

Mr. t.i.tmouse, on concluding, made a great number of very profound bows, and replaced his hat upon his head, amid prolonged and enthusiastic cheering, which, on Mr. Delamere's essaying to address the crowd, was suddenly converted into a perfect hurricane of hissing; like as we now and then find a shower of rain suddenly change into hail. Mr. Delamere stood the pitiless pelting of the storm with calmness, resolution, and good-humor. Ten minutes had elapsed, and he had not been allowed to utter one syllable audible to any one beyond four or five feet from him.

Every fresh effort he made to speak caused a renewal of the uproar, and many very offensive and opprobrious epithets were applied to him. Surely this was disgraceful, disgusting! What had he done to deserve such treatment? Had he been guilty of offering some gross indignity and outrage to every person present, individually, could he have fared worse than he did? He had conducted his canva.s.s with scrupulous and exemplary honor and integrity--with the utmost courtesy to all parties, whether adverse or favorable. He was surely not deficient in those qualities of head and of heart--of personal appearance, even, which usually secure man favor with his fellows. _Who_ could lay _anything_ to his charge--except that he had ventured to solicit the suffrages of the electors of Yatton, in compet.i.tion with Mr. t.i.tmouse? If men of a determined character and of princely means have to calculate upon such brutal usage as this, can those who sanction or perpetrate it wonder at bribery and other undue means being resorted to, in absolute self-defence? Is it meant to deter any one from coming forward that has not a forehead of bra.s.s, leathern lungs, and heart of marble? After upwards of a quarter of an hour had been thus consumed, without Mr.

Delamere's having been permitted to utter two consecutive sentences, though he stood up against it patiently and gallantly, the returning officer, who had often appealed to them in vain, earnestly besought Mr.

t.i.tmouse to use his influence with the crowd, in order to secure Mr.

Delamere a moment's hearing.

"'Pon my life--I--eh?" quoth t.i.tmouse. "A likely thing! He'd do it for _me_, wouldn't he? Every man for himself--all fair at an election, eh, Gammon?"

"Do it, sir!" whispered Gammon, indignantly--"do it, and instantly--or you deserve to be kicked off the hustings!" t.i.tmouse, on this, took off his hat with a very bad grace, and addressing the crowd, said--"I--I--suppose you'll hear what he's got to say for himself, gents"----But all was in vain; "Off! off! No!--Go home!--ah!--ah!--a--a--a--h!----St!--St!--Get away home with you, you young boroughmonger!--a--a--h!" came in louder and fiercer tones from the mob. Yet Mr. Delamere did not like to give up without another and a desperate effort to catch the ear of the mob; but while he was in the act of raising his right hand, and exclaiming--"Gentlemen, only a word or two--I pledge my honor that I will not keep you three minutes"--some miscreant from the body of the crowd aimed at him a stone, not a very large one to be sure, yet flung with very considerable force, and hitting him just about the centre of the upper lip, which it cut open.

He instantly turned pale, and applied to the wound his white pocket-handkerchief, which was speedily saturated with blood. Still the gallant young fellow stood his ground with firmness, and the smile which he endeavored to a.s.sume, it was enough to have brought tears into one's eyes to witness. The instant that Gammon had seen the stone take effect, he rushed over towards where Mr. Delamere stood amid his agitated friends, who were dissuading him from persevering in his attempt to address the crowd?--

"You are severely hurt, sir!" exclaimed Gammon, with much agitation, taking off his hat with an air of earnest and respectful sympathy. Then he turned with an air of excitement towards the mob, who seemed shocked into silence by the incident which had taken place, and were uttering increasing cries of "Shame! shame!"

"Shame?--shame, _shame_, indeed, gentlemen"--he exclaimed vehemently--"Where is that atrocious miscreant? In the name of Mr.

t.i.tmouse, who is too much agitated to address you himself, I conjure you to secure that abominable ruffian, and let him be brought to justice! If not, Mr. t.i.tmouse protests solemnly that he will withdraw from the election."

"Bravo, t.i.tmouse! bravo! Spoke like a man!" exclaimed several voices. A desperate struggle was soon perceived about that quarter where the man who flung the stone must have been standing; he had been seized, and being in a trice most severely handled, a couple of men almost throttled him with the tightness of their grasp round his neck--these too the very men who had encouraged him to perpetrate the outrage!--and, amid a shower of kicks and blows, he was hauled off, and deposited, half dead, in the cage.

"Three cheers for Delamere!" cried a voice from the crowd; and never had a more vehement shout issued from them, than in response to that summons.

"Delamere! Delamere!--Hear him!--Speak out!--Delamere! Delamere!" cried a great number of voices, of people growing more and more excited as they beheld his handkerchief becoming suffused with blood. But he was not in a condition then to respond to their call. He was suffering really not a little pain; and, moreover, his feelings had for a moment--just for a moment--given way, when he adverted to the possibility that Lady De la Zouch might have witnessed the outrage, or received exaggerated accounts of it. Mr. St. Aubyn, however, stood forward in Mr. Delamere's stead--and in a very touching and judicious but brief address, roused the feelings of the crowd to a high pitch of sympathy for Mr. Delamere, who stood beside him, hat in hand--vehemently, and at length successfully, struggling to repress his rising emotions. If only one out of a hundred of those present had had a vote, this stone's throw might have changed the fate of the election!--No other candidate having been proposed, the returning officer then proceeded to call for a show of hands; on which a very great number were held up in favor of Mr. t.i.tmouse; but when Mr.

Delamere's name was called, it really seemed as if every one present had extended both his hands!--there could be no mistake, no room for doubt.

t.i.tmouse turned as pale as a sheet, and gazed with an expression of ludicrous consternation at Gammon, who also looked, in common indeed with his whole party, not a little disconcerted. The returning officer, having procured silence, declared that the choice of the electors had fallen upon Mr. Delamere; on which a tremendous cheering followed, which lasted for several minutes; and, luckily recollecting the utter nullity of a show of hands as a test or evidence, either way, of the result of the election,[1] Mr. Gammon directed Mudflint formally to demand a poll on behalf of Mr. t.i.tmouse; on which the returning officer announced that the poll would take place at eight o'clock the next morning; and thereupon the day's proceedings closed. Mr. Delamere, in a very few words, returned thanks to the electors for the honor which they had conferred upon him, and entreated them to go early to the poll. He and his friends then left the hustings. His procession quickly formed; his band struck up with extraordinary energy and spirit--"_See the Conquering Hero comes!_" but the rolling of the drums, the clashing of cymbals, the rich deep tones of the ba.s.soons, trombones, and French horns, and clear and lively notes of flute and clarionet, were quite overpowered by the acclamations of the crowd which attended them to his committee-room. Sir Percival Pickering, throwing open the window, addressed a word or two to the dense crowd; and then, having given three l.u.s.ty cheers, they withdrew. A gla.s.s of wine and water quickly refreshed the spirits of Mr. Delamere, and a surgeon having arrived, found it necessary to dress the wound with much care, for the cut was severe; in fact, the upper lip was partially laid open; and he declared it highly imprudent for Mr. Delamere to attempt to make his appearance out of doors on the morrow. As for Mr. Crafty, as soon as he heard what had taken place, he uttered, as he felt bound to do, a few casual expressions of sympathy; but what pa.s.sed through his mind, as he resumed his seat before his papers, was--"What a pity that all those fellows had not had votes, and that the poll had not commenced _instanter_!" The truly unexpected issue of the day's proceedings, while it elevated the spirits of all Mr. Delamere's friends, produced only one effect upon the imperturbable Mr. Crafty; he strongly suspected that the other side would probably be resorting during the night to measures of a desperate and unscrupulous description, in order to counteract the unfavorable impression calculated to be effected by the defeat of Mr. t.i.tmouse at the show of hands. As for that gentleman, by the way, he became very insolent towards Gammon on reaching the committee-room, and protested, with fury in his face, that it had all been brought about by Mr.

Gammon's "cursed officious meddling with Mr. t.i.tmouse's name before the mob after the stone had been thrown;" on hearing which, "Go on to the Hall, sir, dine, and get drunk if you choose," said Gammon, bitterly and peremptorily; "I shall remain here all night. Powerful as are your energies, they require relaxation after the fatigues of the day!" and with a very _decisive_, but not violent degree of force, t.i.tmouse was urged, in a twinkling, into the outer committee-room. Mr. Gammon had, indeed, as much serious work before him that night as Mr. Crafty, and prepared for secret and decisive action every whit as calmly and effectively as he. Mr. Crafty's arrangements were admirable. During the day he had parcelled out the borough into a number of small departments, each of which he committed to some steady and resolute friend of Mr.

Delamere, who was to look after every elector in his division about whom there was any ground for fear, in respect either of apprehended abduction, or of treachery. These gentlemen were to be relieved at intervals; and from one to the other of them, perpetually, were the personal agents of Crafty to go their rounds, in order to see that all was right, and carry intelligence to headquarters. Then others were intrusted with the ticklish and tiresome duty of watching the movements of the enemy in quarters where Crafty had sure information of intended operations during the night. Complete arrangements had been made, also, for bringing up voters to the poll at the exact times, and in the numbers, and in the manner, which might on the morrow be determined on by Mr. Crafty. Names were noted down of those to whom the bribery oath was to be administered. Prudent as were these precautions, they did not entirely prevent the mischief against which they had been levelled. As the night wore on, evidence was, from time to time, brought in to Mr.

Crafty that the enemy were at work at, their expected tricks; _e.g._--

"Jacob Joliffe is missing. Wife _says_ she knows nothing about him.

_Inquire._"

"Send _at least a couple_ of men to watch Peter Jiggins, or he'll be out of the way when he's wanted."

"Haste--haste. G. Atkins and Adam Hutton, both safe ten minutes ago, are off; enticed out into a postchaise--gone towards York--(Half-past eleven.")

"Send some one to the Jolly Sn.o.bs to watch the treating going on.

_Most important._ Mr. t.i.tmouse has been there, and drunk a gla.s.s of rum with them."

Then more mysterious missives made their appearance from Mr. Crafty's own familiars.

"Q.C.S.H.O.--12."--(_i.e._ "The Quaint Club still holds out.--Twelve o'clock.")

"Q.C.G._W._--1/2 past 1."--(_i.e._ "The Quaint Club are _going wrong_.--Half-past one o'clock.")

"S.B.; G.O. => => + => => H. 1/4 to 2."--(_i.e._ "I have seen Bran.

Gammon offers ten pounds, in addition to the ten pounds already given.--They hesitate.--A quarter to two o'clock.")

"3/heard & S. B. & M. w. B. O. Q. C.--12--3."--(_i.e._ "Three of our people have just overheard _and seen_ Bloodsuck and Mudflint, with Bran, offering the Quaint Club _twelve_ pounds.--Three o'clock.")

"Q. C. G. R. w. Y. & C. T. T. Y. M.S. I.--4."--(_i.e._ "The Quaint Club are getting restive with _you_, and coming to terms with t.i.tmouse. You must stir instantly.--Four o'clock.")

"[Greek: Delta Delta] => 10 m. 4."--These last mysterious symbols caused Mr. Crafty instantly to bestir himself, He changed color a _little_, and went into the adjoining room. The meaning of the communication was--"_Great danger to both parties_."

In the adjoining room, where two candles were burning down in their very sockets, and the fire nearly out, were some four or five trusty friends of Mr. Delamere--gentlemen who had placed themselves entirely at Mr.

Crafty's disposal throughout the night. When he entered, they were all nearly asleep, or at least dozing. Beckoning two of them into his own room, he instructed one to go and plant himself openly--nay, as conspicuously as possible--near the door of Mr. t.i.tmouse's committee-room, so as not to fail of being recognized, by any one leaving or entering it, as a well-known friend of Mr. Delamere's; in fact, Mr. t.i.tmouse's friends were to discover that their motions were watched. The other he instructed to act similarly opposite the door of a small house in a narrow court--the residence, in fact, of Ben Bran, where all the night's negotiations with the Quaint Club had been carried on. Immediately afterwards, Mr. Crafty felt it his duty, as between man and man, to warn his opponent of the mortal peril in which he was placed; and, in his anxiety for fair play, found means to convey the following note into the committee-room where Mr. Gammon and one or two others were sitting:--

"Take care!! You are deceived! betrayed! Q. C. is sold out and out to the _Blues_!! And part of the bargain, that B. B.

shall betray you into bribery in the presence of witnesses--_not one man_ of the club safe; this have _just learned_ from the wife of one of them. From a well-wishing friend, but _obligated_ to vote (against his conscience) for the Blues.

"P.S.--Lord D. in the town (quite private) with lots of _the needful_, and doing business sharply."

While Mr. Gammon and his companions were canva.s.sing this letter, in came the two gentlemen who had been watched, in the way I have stated, from Ben Bran's house to Mr. t.i.tmouse's committee-room, pale and agitated, with intelligence of that fact. Though hereat Gammon's color deserted his cheek, he affected to treat the matter very lightly, and laughed at the idea of being deluded by such boy's play. If Lord De la Zouch--said he--had hired Crafty only to play tricks like _these_, he might as well have saved the trouble and expense. Here a slight bustle was heard at the door; and the hostler made his appearance, saying that a man had just given him a doc.u.ment which he produced to Mr. Gammon; who, taking from the hostler a dirty and ill-folded paper, read as follows:--

"To Squire t.i.tmous. you Are All Wrong. the Blues is _wide_ Awake All Night and nos all, Lord Dillysoush about with One hundred Spies; And look Out for traiters in the Camp. A friend or Enemy as you Will, but loving Fair Play."

"Poh!" exclaimed Gammon, flinging it on the table contemptuously.

Now, I may as well mention here, that about nine o'clock in the evening, Mr. Parkinson had brought to Crafty _sure_ intelligence that a very zealous and influential person, who was entirely in the confidence of the enemy, had come to him a little while before, and candidly disclosed the very melancholy position of his--the aforesaid communicant's--financial affairs; and Mr. Parkinson happened to be in a condition to verify the truth of the man's statement, that there was a writ out against him for 250; and that, unless he could meet it, he would have to quit the county before daybreak, and his very promising prospects in business would be utterly ruined. Mr. Parkinson knew these matters professionally; and, in short, Crafty was given to understand, that so disgusted was Mr. M'Do'em--the gentleman in question--with Whig principles (his inexorable creditor being a Whig) and practices, such as the bribery, treating, and corruption at that moment going on, that--his conscience p.r.i.c.ked him--and--ahem!--the poor penitent was ready to make all the amends in his power by discovering villany to its intended victims. Crafty, having felt the ground pretty safe underneath him, took upon himself to say, that Mr. M'Do'em need be under no further apprehension as to his pecuniary liabilities; but, in the mean while, he would certainly wish for a little _evidence_ of the _bona fides_ of his present conduct.

"Come," quoth M'Do'em, after receiving a pregnant wink from Mr.

Crafty--"send some one whom you can rely upon with me _immediately_, to do as I bid him--and let him report to you what he shall actually see."

No sooner said than done. A trusty managing clerk of Mr. Parkinson's forthwith accompanied M'Do'em on a secret expedition....

They stood at a window with a broken pane. 'T was a small ill-furnished kitchen, and in the corner, close to the fire, sat smoking a middle-aged man, wearing a dirty brown paper cap. Opposite to him sat two persons, in very earnest conversation with him. They were Mr. Mudflint and Mr.

Bloodsuck, junior.

"Come, come, _that's_ decidedly unreasonable," quoth the former.

"No, sir, it _a'n't_. I'm an independent man!--It quite cut me to the heart, I 'sure you, sir, to see Mr. Delamere so dreadfully used--my good missus, that's in bed, says to me--says she"----