Ten Thousand a-Year Volume Ii Part 22

"Oh yes--'pon my life--quite entirely!" replied t.i.tmouse, meekly, with a crestfallen air.

Soon after breakfast they adjourned, at Gammon's request, to the billiard-room; where, though that gentleman knew how to handle a cue, and t.i.tmouse did not, he expressed great admiration for t.i.tmouse's play, and felt great interest in being shown by him how to get a ball, now and then, into each pocket at one stroke, a masterly manuvre in which t.i.tmouse succeeded two or three times, and Gammon not once, during their hour's play. Upon that occasion had occurred the conversation in which t.i.tmouse made the suggestion we have already heard of, viz. that Gammon should immediately clap the screw upon Aubrey, with a view to squeezing out of him at least sufficient to pay the 10,000 bond, and their bill of costs, immediately; and t.i.tmouse urged Gammon at once to send Aubrey packing after Yahoo to York Castle, as an inducement to an early settlement of the remainder. Gammon, however, a.s.sured Mr. t.i.tmouse, that in all probability Mr. Aubrey had not a couple of thousand pounds in the world.

"Well, that will do to begin with," said t.i.tmouse, "and the rest _must_ come, sooner or later--eh, by Jove?"

"Leave him to me, my dear t.i.tmouse, or rather to Mr. Quirk--who'll _wring_ him before he's done with him, I warrant you! But, in the mean while, if I work day and night, I will relieve you from this claim of Mr. Quirk: for, in fact, I have little or no _real_ interest in the matter."

"You'll take a slapping slice out of the bond, eh? Aha, Mr. Gammon!--But what were you saying you'd do for me?"

"I repeat, that I am your only disinterested friend, Mr. t.i.tmouse; I shall never see a hundred pounds of what is going into Mr. Quirk's hands; who, I must say, however," added Gammon, with sudden caution, "has richly earned what he's going to get--but--to say the truth, by following my directions throughout. I was saying, however, that I had hit upon a scheme for ridding you of your difficulties. Though you have only just stepped into your property, and consequently people are very shy of advancing money on mortgage, if you'll only keep quiet, and leave the affair entirely to me, I will undertake to get you a sum of possibly twenty thousand pounds."

"My eyes!" exclaimed t.i.tmouse, excitedly; quickly, however, adding with a sad air--"but then, what a lot of it will go to old Quirk?"

"He _is_ rather a keen and hard--ahem! I own; but"----

"'Pon my life, couldn't we _do_ the old gent?"

"On no consideration, Mr. t.i.tmouse; it would be a fatal step for you--and indeed for me."

"What! and can _he_ do anything, too? I thought it was only you."--The little fool had brought a glimpse of color into Gammon's cheek--but t.i.tmouse's volatility quickly relieved his tripping Prospero. "By the way--'pon my life--sha'n't I have to pay it all back again! There's a go! I hadn't thought of that."

"I shall first try to get it out of Mr. Aubrey," said Gammon, "and then out of another friend of yours. In the mean while we must not drop the Tag-rags just yet." They then got into a long and confidential conversation together; in the course of which, t.i.tmouse happened to pop out a little secret of his, which till then he had managed to keep from Gammon, and which occasioned that gentleman a great and sudden inward confusion--one which it was odd that so keen an observer as t.i.tmouse did not perceive indications of in the countenance of Gammon; viz.

his--t.i.tmouse's--fervent and disinterested love for Miss Aubrey. While he was rattling on with eager volubility upon this topic, Gammon, after casting about a little in his mind, as to how he should deal with this interesting discovery, resolved for the present to humor the notion, and got out of t.i.tmouse a full and particular account of his original "_smite_," as that gentleman called his pa.s.sion for Miss Aubrey--the indelible impression she had made on his heart--the letter which he had addressed to her--[here Gammon's vivid fancy portrayed to him the sort of composition which must have reached Miss Aubrey, and he nearly burst into a gentle fit of laughter]--and, with a strange candor, or rather, to do him justice, with that frank simplicity which is characteristic of n.o.ble natures--he at length described his unlucky encounter with Miss Aubrey and her maid, in the winter; whereat Gammon felt a sort of sudden inward spasm, which excited a certain twinging sensation in his right toe--but it pa.s.sed away--'twas after all, only a little juvenile indiscretion of t.i.tmouse's; but Gammon, with rather a serious air, a.s.sured t.i.tmouse that he had probably greatly endangered his prospect with Miss Aubrey.

"Eh? Why, devil take it! a'n't I going to offer to her, though she's got nothing?" interrupted t.i.tmouse, with astonishment.

"True!--Ah, I had lost sight of that. Well, if you will pledge yourself to address no more letters to her, nor take any steps to see her, without first communicating with me--I think I can promise--hem!" he looked archly at t.i.tmouse.

"She's a most _uncommon_ lovely gal"--he simpered sheepishly. The fact was that Gammon had conceived quite another scheme for t.i.tmouse--wholly inconsistent with his pure, ardent, and enlightened attachment to Miss Aubrey; 'twas undoubtedly rather a bold and ambitious one, but Gammon did not despair; for he had that confidence in himself, and in his knowledge of human nature, which always supported him in the most arduous and apparently hopeless undertakings.

There was a visible alteration for the better in the state of things at Yatton, as soon as Messrs. Yahoo and Fitz-Snooks had been disposed of.

Now and then a few of the distinguished people who had honored Mr.

t.i.tmouse by going out in procession to meet and welcome him, were invited to spend a day at Yatton; and generally quitted full of admiration of the dinner and wines, the unaffected good-nature and simplicity of their hospitable host, and the bland, composed, and intellectual deportment and conversation of Mr. Gammon. When rent-day arrived, Mr. t.i.tmouse, attended by Mr. Gammon, made his appearance in the steward's room, and also in the hall; where, according to former custom, good substantial fare was set out for the tenants. They received him with a due respect of manner; but--alas--where was the cheerfulness, the cordiality, the rough, honest heartiness of days gone by, on such occasions? Few of the tenants stayed to partake of the good things prepared for them; a circ.u.mstance which greatly affected Mr. Griffiths, and piqued Mr. Gammon; as for t.i.tmouse, however, he said, with a laugh, "Curse 'em! let 'em leave it alone, if they a'n't hungry!" and any faint feeling of mortification which he might have experienced, was dissipated by the intelligence of the amount paid into his banker's. Gammon was sensible that the scenes which had been exhibited at Yatton on the first night of his protege's arrival, had seriously injured him in the neighborhood and county, and was bent upon effacing, as quickly as possible, such unfavorable impressions, by prevailing on t.i.tmouse to "purge and live cleanly"--at all events for the present.

Let me pause now, for a moment, to inquire, ought not this favored young man to have felt happy? Here he was, master of a fine estate, producing him a splendid unenc.u.mbered rent-roll; a delightful residence, suggesting innumerable dear and dignified a.s.sociations connected with old English feeling; a luxurious table, with the choicest liqueurs and wines, in abundance: he might smoke the finest cigars that the world could produce, from morning to night, if so disposed; had unlimited facilities for securing a distinguished personal appearance, as far as dress and decoration went; had all the amus.e.m.e.nts of the county at his command; troops of servants, eager and obsequious in their attentions; horses and carriages of every description which he might have chosen to order out--had, in short, all the "appliances and means to boot," which could be desired or imagined by a gentleman of his station and affluence. Mr. Gammon was, though somewhat stern and plain-spoken, still a most sincere and powerful friend, deeply and disinterestedly solicitous about his interests, and protecting him from villanous and designing adventurers; then he had in prospect the brilliant mazes of fashionable life in town--oh, in the name of everything that this world can produce, and of the feelings it should excite, ought not t.i.tmouse to have enjoyed life--to have been happy? Yet he was not; he felt, quite independently of any constraint occasioned by the presence of Mr.

Gammon, full of deplorable and inexpressible wearisomeness, which nothing could alleviate, but the constant use of cigars, and brandy and water. On the first Sunday after the departure of Fitz-Snooks, t.i.tmouse was prevailed upon to accompany the devout and exemplary Gammon to church; where, barring a good many ill-concealed yawns and constant fidgetiness, he conducted himself with tolerable decorum. Yet still the style of his dress, his air, and his countenance, filled the little congregation with feelings of great astonishment, when they thought that _that_ was the new Squire of Yatton, and for a moment contrasted him with his simple and dignified predecessor, Mr. Aubrey. As for the worthy vicar, Dr. Tatham, Gammon resolved to secure his good graces, and succeeded. He called upon the worthy vicar soon after having heard from t.i.tmouse, of his, Yahoo's, and Fitz-Snooks' encounter with Dr. Tatham; and expressed profound concern on being apprised of the rude treatment which he had encountered. There was a gentleness and affability--tempering at once and enhancing his evident acuteness and knowledge of the world--which quite captivated the little doctor. But, above all, the expressions of delicate sympathy and regret with which he now and then alluded to the late occupants of Yatton, and towards whom the stern requisitions of professional duty had caused him to play so odious a part, and his minute inquiries about them, drew out almost all that was in the little doctor's heart concerning his departed friends.

Gammon gazed with deep interest at the old blind stag-hound, and feeble old Peggy; and seemed never tired of hearing the doctor's little anecdotes concerning them. He introduced t.i.tmouse to the vicar; and, in his presence, Gammon declared his (t.i.tmouse's) hatred and contempt for the two fellows who were with him when first he saw Dr. Tatham; who thereupon banished from his heart all recollection of the conduct which had so deeply hurt his feelings. Gammon, on another occasion, infinitely delighted the doctor by calling on a Monday morning, and alluding with evident interest and anxiety to certain pa.s.sages in his sermon of the day before, and which led to a very lengthened and interesting discussion. In consequence of what then transpired, the doctor suddenly bethought himself of routing out an old sermon, which he had once preached before the judges of a.s.size:--and during the week he touched it up with a good deal of care for the ensuing Sunday--when he had the satisfaction of observing the marked and undeviating attention with which Mr. Gammon sat listening to him; and that candid inquirer after truth afterwards stepped into the little vestry and warmly complimented the doctor upon his very satisfactory and masterly discourse. Thus it was that Dr. Tatham came to pen a postscript to one of his letters to Mrs. Aubrey, to which I have formerly alluded, and of which said postscript the following is a copy:----

"P. S. By the way, the altered state of things at the Hall, I am of opinion, is entirely owing to the presence and the influence of a Mr. Gammon--one of the chief of Mr. t.i.tmouse's solicitors, and to whom he seems very firmly attached. I have lived too long in the world to form hasty opinions, and am not apt to be deceived in my estimate of mankind; but I must say, I consider Mr. Gammon to be a very superior man, as well in character and intellect, as in acquirements. He possesses great acuteness and knowledge of the world, general information, a very calm and courteous address--and above and beyond all, is a man of very enlightened religious feeling. He comes constantly to church, and presents a truly edifying example to all around, of decorum and attention. You would be delighted to hear the discussions we have had on points which my sermons have suggested to him. He is really an uncommonly acute man, and I a.s.sure you it requires some little logical skill to contend with him in argument. I preached a sermon lately, specially aimed at him, which, thank G.o.d! I have every reason to believe has been attended with happy effects, and allayed some startling doubts which had been for years tormenting him. I am sure that my dear friend" (_i. e._ Mr. Aubrey) "would be delighted with him. I had myself, I a.s.sure you, to overcome a very strong prejudice against him--a thing I always love to attempt, and have in a measure, in the present instance, succeeded. He speaks of you all frequently, with evident caution, but at the same time with the deepest respect and sympathy."

This postscript it was, which, as I have already intimated, suggested to Mr. Aubrey to seek the interview with Gammon which has been described, and during which it was frequently present to his mind.

While, however, under the pressure of Mr. Gammon's benumbing presence and authority, t.i.tmouse was for a brief while leading this sober retired life at Yatton--why, he hardly knew, except that Gammon willed it--a circ.u.mstance occurred which suddenly placed him on the very highest pinnacle of popularity in metropolitan society. I hardly know how to suppress my feelings of exultation, in retracing the rapid steps by which Mr. t.i.tmouse was transformed into a LION of the first magnitude.

Be it known that there was a MR. BLADDERY PIP, a fashionable novelist, possessed of most extraordinary versatility and power; for he had at the end of every nine months, during the last nine years, produced a novel in three volumes--each succeeding one eclipsing the splendor of its predecessor, (in the judgment of the accomplished and disinterested newspaper critics)--in the "masterly structure of the plot"--the "vivid and varied delineation of character"--the "profound acquaintance with the workings of the human heart"--"exquisite appreciation of life in all its endless varieties"--"piercing but delicate satire"--"bold and powerful denunciations of popular vices"--"rich and tender domestic scenes"--"inimitable ease and grace"--"consummate tact and judgment"--"reflection coextensive with observation"--"the style flowing, brilliant, nervous, varied, picturesque," _et cetera_, _et cetera_, _et cetera_. We have, in the present day, thank Heaven! at least two or three hundred such writers; but at the time about which I am speaking, Mr. Bladdery Pip was pretty nearly alone in his glory.

Such was the man, to whose trading brain it suddenly occurred, on glancing over the newspaper report of the trial of _Doe on the Demise of t.i.tmouse_ v. _Jolter_, to make the interesting facts of the case the basis of a new novel, on quite a new plan, and which was infinitely to transcend all his former works, and, in fact, occasion quite a revolution in that brilliant and instructive species of literature! To work went Mr. Pip, within a day or two after the trial was over, and in an incredibly short s.p.a.ce of time had got to the close of his labors.

Practice had made him perfect, and given him infinite facility in the production of first-rate writing. The spirited publisher (Mr. Bubble) then quickly set to work to "get the steam up"--but ah! how secretly and skilfully! For some time there appeared numerous intimations in the daily papers, that "the circles of ton" were "on the _qui vive_" in expectation of a certain forthcoming work, &c. &c. &c.--that "disclosures of a very extraordinary character" were being looked for--"attempts had been made to suppress," &c. &c.--"compromising certain distinguished," &c., and so forth; all these paragraphs being in the unquestionable [!] _editorial_ style, and _genuine_ [!] indications of a mysterious under-current of curiosity and excitement, existing in those regions which were watched with reverential awe and constancy by the occupants of the lower regions. As time advanced, more frequent became these t.i.tillations of the public palate--more distinct these intimations of what was going forward, and might be shortly expected, from the appearance of the long-promised work. Take for instance the following, which ran the round of every newspaper, and wrought up to a high pitch the curiosity of three-fourths of the fools in the country:--

"The efforts made to deprive the public of the interesting and peculiar scenes contained in the forthcoming novel, and--in short--to suppress it, have entirely failed, owing to the resolution of the gifted author, and the determination of the spirited publisher; and their only effect has been to accelerate the appearance of the work. It will bear the exciting and _piquant_ t.i.tle--'TIPPETIWINK;' and is said to be founded on the remarkable circ.u.mstances attending the recent trial of a great ejectment cause at York. More than one n.o.ble family's history is believed to be involved in some of the details which will be found in the forthcoming publication, for which, we are a.s.sured, there are already symptoms of an unprecedented demand. The 'favored few' who have seen it, predict that it will produce a prodigious sensation.

The _happy audacity_ with which facts are adhered to, will, we trust, not lead to the disagreeable consequences that appear to be looked for, in certain quarters, with no little anxiety and dismay.

When we announce that its author is the gifted writer of 'THE SILVER SPOONS'--'SPINNACH'--'THE PIROUETTE'--'t.i.tTLE-TATTLE'--'FITZ-GIBLETS'--'SQUINT,' &c. &c. &c., we trust we are violating no literary confidence."

There was no resisting this sort of thing. In that day, a skilfully directed play of puffs laid prostrate the whole of the sagacious fashionable world; _producing_ the excitement of which they affected to chronicle the existence. The artilleryman, in the present instance, was, in fact, a hack writer, hired by Mr. Bubble--in fact, kept by him entirely--to perform services of this degrading description--and he sat from morning to night in a back-room on Mr. Bubble's premises, engaged in spinning out these villanous and lying paragraphs concerning every work published, or about to be published, by Mr. Bubble. Then that gentleman hit upon another admirable device. He had seven hundred copies printed off; and allowing a hundred for a _first_ edition, he varied the t.i.tle-pages of each of the remaining six hundred by the words: "_Second_ Edition"--"_Third_ Edition"--"_Fourth_ Edition"--"_Fifth_ Edition"--"_Sixth_ Edition"--and "_Seventh_ Edition."

By the time, however, that the fourth edition had been announced, there existed a real rage for the book. The circulating libraries at the West End of the town were besieged by applicants for a perusal of the work; and "notices," "reviews," and "extracts," began to make their appearance with increasing frequency in the newspapers. The idea of the work was admirable. _Tippetiwink_, the hero, was a young gentleman of ancient family--an only child--kidnapped away in his infancy by the malignant agency of "the demon _Mowbray_," a distant relative, of a fierce temper and wicked character, who by these means had succeeded to the enjoyment of the estate, and would have come, in time, to the honors and domains of the most ancient and n.o.ble family in the kingdom, that of the _Earl of Frizzleton_. Poor Tippetiwink was at length, however, discovered by his ill.u.s.trious kinsman, by mere accident, in an obscure capacity, in the employ of a benevolent linen-draper, _Black-bag_, who was described as one of the most amiable and generous of linen-drapers; and, after a series of wonderful adventures, in which the hero displayed the most heroic constancy, the earl succeeded in reinstating his oppressed and injured kinsman in the lofty station which he ought always to have occupied. His daughter--a paragon of female loveliness--the _Lady Sapphira Sigh-away_--evinced the deepest interest in the success of _Tippetiwink_; and at length--the happy result may be guessed by the astute and experienced novel-reader. Out of these few and natural incidents, Mr. Bladdery Pip was p.r.o.nounced at length, by those (_i. e._ the aforesaid newspaper scribes) who govern, if they do not indeed const.i.tute, PUBLIC OPINION, to have produced an imperishable record of his genius; avoiding all the faults, and combining all the excellences, of all his former productions. The ident.i.ty between t.i.tmouse and _Tippetiwink_, Lord Dreddlington and _Lord Frizzleton_, Lady Cecilia and _Lady Sapphira_, and Mr. Aubrey and the "_demon Mowbray_," was quickly established. The novel pa.s.sed speedily into the _tenth edition_! An undoubted, and a very great sensation was produced; extracts descriptive of the persons, particularly that of t.i.tmouse, and the earl, and Lady Cecilia, figuring in the story, were given in the London papers, and thence transferred into those all over the country. The very author of the book, Mr. Bladdery Pip, became a prodigious LION, and dressing himself in the most elaborate and exquisite style, had his portrait, looking most intensely intellectual, prefixed to the tenth edition. Then came portraits of "t.i.ttlebat t.i.tmouse, Esq.," (for which he had never sat,) giving him large melting eyes, a very pensive face, and a most fashionable appearance. The Earl of Dreddlington and Lady Cecilia became also a lion and lioness. Hundreds of opera-gla.s.ses were directed, at once, to their opera-box; innumerable were the anxious salutations they received as they drove round the Park--and round it they went three or four times as often as they had ever done before. 'Twas whispered that the king had read the book, and drank the earl's health, under the name of Lord Frizzleton--while the queen did the same for Lady Cecilia as Lady Sapphira. Their appearance produced a manifest sensation at both the levee and drawing-room.--Majesty looked blander than usual as they approached. Poor Lord Dreddlington, and Lady Cecilia, mounted in a trice into the seventh heaven of rapturous excitement; for there was that buoyant quality about their heads which secured them a graceful and rapid upward motion. They were both unutterably _happy_; living in a gentle delicious tumult of exalted feeling. Irrepressible exultation glistened in the earl's eyes; he threw an infinite deal of blandness and courtesy into his manners wherever he was, and whomsoever he addressed; as if he could now easily afford it, confident in the inaccessible sublimity of his position. It was slightly laughable to observe, however, the desperate efforts he made to maintain his former frigid composure of manner--but in vain; his nervousness looked almost like a sudden, though gentle accession of St. Vitus's dance. Innumerable were the inquiries after t.i.tmouse--his person--his manners--his character--his dress, made of Lady Cecilia by her friends. Young ladies tormented her for his autograph. 'T was with her as if the level surface of the Dead Sea had been stirred by the freshening breeze.

When a thing of this sort is once fairly set going, where is it to end?

When fashion does go mad, her madness is wonderful; and she very soon turns the world mad. Presently the young men appeared everywhere in black satin stocks, embroidered, some with flowers, and others with gold, and which went by the name of "_t.i.tmouse-Ties_;" and in hats, with high crowns and rims a quarter of an inch in depth, called "_t.i.ttlebats_." All the young blades about town, especially the clerks and shopmen in the city, dressed themselves in the most extravagant style; an amazing impetus was given to the cigar trade--whose shops were crowded, especially at nights; and every puppy that walked the streets puffed cigar-smoke in your eyes. In short, pert and lively _t.i.tmice_ might be seen hopping about the streets in all directions. As for Tag-rag, wonders befell him. A paragraph in a paper pointed him out as the original of _Black-bag_, and his shop in Oxford Street as the scene of t.i.tmouse's service. Thither quickly poured the tide of fashionable curiosity, and custom. His business was soon trebled. He wore his best clothes every day, and smirked and smiled, and bustled about amid the crowd in his shop, in a perfect fever of excitement. He began to think of buying the adjoining premises, and adding them to his own; and set his name down as a subscriber of a guinea a-year to the "Decayed Drapers' a.s.sociation." Those were glorious times for Mr. Tag-rag. He was forced to engage a dozen extra hands; there were seldom less than fifty or a hundred persons in his shop at once; strings of carriages stood before his door, sometimes two deep, and continual strugglings occurred between the coachmen for precedence. In fact, Mr. Tag-rag believed that the MILLENNIUM (about which he had often heard wonders from Mr. Dismal Horror, who, it seemed, knew all about it--a fact of which he had first persuaded his congregation, _and then himself_) was coming in earnest.

CHAPTER IX.

The undulations of the popular excitement in town, were not long in reaching the calm retreat of Mr. t.i.tmouse in Yorkshire. To say nothing of his having on several occasions observed artists busily engaged in sketching different views of the Hall and its surrounding scenery, and, on inquiry, discovered that they had been sent from London for the express purpose of presenting to the excited public sketches of the "residence of Mr. t.i.tmouse," a copy of the inimitable performance of Mr.

Bladdery Pip--viz. "TIPPETIWINK," (tenth edition) was sent down to Mr.

t.i.tmouse by Gammon; who also forwarded to him, from time to time, newspapers containing those paragraphs which identified t.i.tmouse with the hero of the novel, and also testified the profound impression which it was making upon the thinking cla.s.ses of the community. Was t.i.tmouse's wish to witness the ferment he had so unconsciously produced in the metropolis, unreasonable? Yatton was beginning to look duller daily, even before the arrival of this stimulating intelligence from town; t.i.tmouse feeling quite out of his element. So--Gammon _non contradicente_--up came t.i.tmouse to town. If he had not been naturally a fool, the notice he attracted in London must soon have made him one. He had been for coming up in a post-chaise and four; but Gammon, in a letter, succeeded in dissuading him from incurring so useless an expense, a.s.suring him that men of even as high consideration as himself, constantly availed themselves of the safe and rapid transit afforded by the royal mail. His valet, on being appealed to, corroborated Mr.

Gammon's representations; adding, that the late hour in the evening at which that respectable vehicle arrived in town would effectually shroud him from public observation. Giving strict and repeated orders to his valet to deposit him at once "in a first-rate West-End hotel," the haughty lord of Yatton, plentifully provided with cigars, stepped into the mail, his valet perching himself upon the box-seat. That gifted functionary was well acquainted with town, and resolved on his master's taking up his quarters at the Harcourt Hotel, in the immediate vicinity of Bond Street.

The mail pa.s.sed the Peac.o.c.k, at Islington, about half-past eight o'clock; and long before they had reached even that point, the eager and anxious eye of t.i.tmouse had been on the look-out for indications of his celebrity. He was, however, compelled to own that both people and places seemed much as usual--wearing no particular air of excitement. At this he was a little chagrined, till he reflected on the vulgar ignorance of the movements of the great, for which the eastern regions of the metropolis were proverbial, and also on the increasing duskiness of the evening, the rapid pace at which the mail rattled along, and the circ.u.mstance of his being concealed inside. When his humble hackney-coach (its driver a feeble old man, with a wisp of straw for a hat-band, and sitting on the rickety box like a heap of dirty old clothes, and the flagging and limping horses looking truly miserable objects) had rumbled slowly up to the lofty and gloomy door of the Harcourt Hotel, it seemed to excite no notice whatever. A tall waiter, in a plain suit of black evening dress, with his hands stuck behind his coat-tails, continued standing in the ample doorway, eying the plebeian vehicle which had drawn up, with utter indifference--conjecturing, probably, that it had come to the wrong door. With the same air of provoking superciliousness he stood till the valet, having jumped down from his seat beside the driver, ran up, and in a peremptory sort of way exclaimed, "MR. t.i.tMOUSE of Yatton!" This stirred the waiter into something like energy.

"Here, sir!" called out Mr. t.i.tmouse from within the coach; and on the waiter's slowly approaching, the former inquired of him in a sufficiently swaggering manner--"Pray, has the _Earl of Dreddlington_ been inquiring for me here to-day?" The words seemed to operate like magic; converting the person addressed, in a moment, into a slave--supple and obsequious.

"His Lordship has not been here to-day, sir," he replied in a low tone, with a most courteous inclination, gently opening the door, and noiselessly letting down the steps. "Do you alight, sir?"

"Why--a--have you room for me, and my _fellow_ there?"

"Oh yes, sir! certainly.--Shall I show you into the coffee-room, sir?"

"The coffee-room? Curse the coffee-room, sir! Demme, sir, do you suppose I'm a commercial traveller? Show me into a private room, sir!" The waiter bowed low; and in silent surprise led Mr. t.i.tmouse to a very s.p.a.cious and elegantly-furnished apartment--where, amid the blaze of six wax candles, and attended by three waiters, he supped, an hour or two afterwards, in great state--retiring about eleven o'clock to his apartment, overcome with fatigue--and brandy and water: having fortunately escaped the indignity of being forced to sit in the room where an English n.o.bleman, two or three county members, and a couple of foreign princes, were sitting sipping their claret, some writing letters, and others conning over the evening papers. About noon, the next day, he called upon the Earl of Dreddlington; and though, under ordinary circ.u.mstances, his Lordship would have considered the visit rather unseasonable, he nevertheless received his fortunate and now truly distinguished kinsman with the most urbane cordiality. At the earl's suggestion, and with Mr. Gammon's concurrence, t.i.tmouse, within about a week after his arrival in town, took a set of chambers in the Albany, together with the elegant furniture which had belonged to their late tenant, a distinguished fashionable, who had shortly before suddenly gone abroad upon a mission of great importance--_to himself_: viz. to avoid his creditors. Mr. t.i.tmouse soon began to feel, in various ways, the distinction which was attached to his name--commencing, as he did at once, the gay and brilliant life of a man of high fashion, and under the august auspices of the Earl of Dreddlington. Like as a cat, shod with walnut-sh.e.l.ls by some merry young scapegrace, doubtless feels more and more astounded at the clatter it makes in scampering up and down the bare echoing floors and staircases; so, in some sort, was it with t.i.tmouse, in respect of the sudden and amazing _eclat_ with which all his appearances and movements were attended in the regions of fashion. 'Tis a matter of indifference to a fool, whether you laugh _with_ him or _at_ him; so as that you do but laugh--an observation which will account for much of the conduct both of Lord Dreddlington and t.i.tmouse. In this short life, and dull world, the thing is--to create a _sensation_, never mind how; and every opportunity of doing so should be gratefully seized hold of, and improved to the uttermost, by those who have nothing else to do, and have an inclination to distinguish themselves from the common herd of mankind, and show that they have not lived in vain. Lord Dreddlington had got so inflated by the attention he excited, that he set down everything he witnessed to the score of deference and admiration. His self-conceit was so intense, that it consumed every vestige of sense he had about him. He stood in solitary grandeur upon the lofty pillar of his pride, inaccessible to ridicule, and insensible indeed of its approach, like _vanity_ "on a monument smiling at" _scorn_. Indeed,

"His soul was like a star, and dwelt apart."

He did not conceive it possible for any one to laugh at _him_, or anything he might choose to do, or any one he might think fit to a.s.sociate with and introduce to the notice of society--which kind office he forthwith performed for t.i.tmouse, to whose odd person, and somewhat eccentric dress and demeanor, his Lordship (who imagined that the same operation was going on in the minds of other people) was growing daily more reconciled. Thus, that which had at first so shocked his Lordship, he got at length perfectly familiar and satisfied with, and began to suspect whether it had not been a.s.sumed by t.i.tmouse, out of a daring scorn for the intrusive opinions of the world, which showed a loftiness of spirit akin to his Lordship's own. Besides, in another point of view--suppose the manner and appearance of t.i.tmouse were ever so absurd, so long as his Lordship chose to tolerate them, who should venture to gainsay them? So the earl asked him frequently to dinner; took him with them when his Lordship and Lady Cecilia went out in the evenings; gave him a seat in his carriage in going down to the House; and invited him to accompany him and Lady Cecilia when they either drove or rode round the Park. As for the matter of riding, t.i.tmouse's a.s.siduous attention at the riding-school, enabled him to appear on horseback without being _glaringly_ unequal to the management of his horse, which, however, he more than once induced to back somewhat threateningly upon those of Lady Cecilia and the earl. t.i.tmouse happening to let fall, at the earl's table, that he had that day ordered an elegant chariot to be built for him, his Lordship intimated that a cab was the usual turn-out of a bachelor man of fashion; whereupon t.i.tmouse the next day countermanded his order, and was fortunate enough to secure a cab which had just been completed for a young n.o.bleman who was unable to pay for it, and whom, consequently, the builder did not care about disappointing. He soon provided himself with a great horse and a little tiger. What pen can do justice to the feelings with which he first sat down in that cab, yielding upon its thoroughly well-balanced springs, took the reins from his little tiger, and then heard him jump up behind! As it was a trifle too early for the Park, he suddenly bethought himself of exhibiting his splendors before the establishment of Mr. Tag-rag; so he desired his little imp behind to run and summon his valet, who in a trice came down; and in answer to a question, "whether there wasn't something wanting from a draper or hosier," was informed glibly, that six dozen of best cambric pocket handkerchiefs, a dozen or two pair of white kid gloves, half-a-dozen stocks, and various other items were "wanting"--(_i. e._ by the valet himself, for t.i.tmouse was already profusely provided with these articles.) Off, however, he drove--occupied with but one idea--and succeeded, at length, in reaching the Oxford Street establishment, before the door of which five or six carriages were standing. I should say that, at the moment of Mr. t.i.tmouse's strutting into that scene of his former miserable servitude, he experienced a gush of delight sufficient to have effaced all recollection of the wretchedness, privation, and oppression, endured in his early days. There was presently an evident flutter among the gentlemen engaged behind the counter--for, thought they--it must be "the great Mr. t.i.tmouse!" Mr.

Tag-rag, catching sight of him, bounced out of his little room, and bustled up to him through the crowd of customers, bowing, sc.r.a.ping, blushing, and rubbing his hands, full of pleasurable excitement, and exhibiting the most profound obsequiousness. "Hope you're well, sir," he commenced in a low tone, but instantly added, in a louder voice, observing that Mr. t.i.tmouse chose to appear to have come merely upon business, "what can I have the honor to do for you, sir, this morning?"

And handing him a stool, Tag-rag, with a respectful air, received a very liberal order from Mr. t.i.tmouse, and called for a shopman to make a minute of the precious words which fell from the lips of Mr. t.i.tmouse.

"Dear me, sir, is that your cab?" said Tag-rag, as, having accompanied t.i.tmouse, bowing at every step, to the door, they both stood there for a moment, "I never saw such a beautiful turn-out in my life, sir"----

"Ya--a--s. Pretty well--pretty well; but that young rascal of mine's dirtied one of his boots a little--dem him!" and he looked terrors at the tiger.

"Oh dear!--so he has; shall I wipe it off, sir? _Do_ let one of my young men"----

"No, it don't signify much. By the way, Mr. Tag-rag," added Mr.

t.i.tmouse, in a drawling way, "all well at--at--demme if I've not, at this moment, forgot the name of your place in the country"----

"Satin Lodge, sir," said Tag-rag, meekly, but with infinite inward uneasiness.

"Oh--ay, to be sure. One sees, 'pon my soul, such a lot of places--but--eh?--all well?"