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I suddenly felt awfully guilty. He was so incredibly romantic and here I was sticking cartoon character medical aids to his head.
"Oh Bryce, I need your heart to beat."
I kissed him and we both fell back onto the bed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
Today was the last day Bryce and I would spend together before I reclaimed my children from their grandparents and returned home. I needed to provide Nate and Charlotte with a sense of normality and routine, because when I explained to them that their world was about to change, this was the only thing I could think to do in order to help soften the blow. I planned on heading home first to see Rick. Facing him was almost upon me, and I was now dreading it more than ever. During the past week, I had been able to put my pending confrontation with my husband out of my head. And because of that, the idea of seeing him for the first time tomorrow was even more unbearable. The past week had been amazing, the most wonderful and exciting week of my life. In hindsight though, that was probably because I had Bryce to comfort me. He had taken my mind away from the devastation that I would no doubt have felt and suffered through, if he had not been with me every step of the way.
I stepped into my shower-or my silent confessional booth-as I had so aptly named it-as for some unknown reason, this little confined steamy location gave me clarity. Anxiety was one thing I felt as I stood here, but anger was another and it was boiling underneath my skin, bubbling away near the point of explosion. Why would he b.l.o.o.d.y cheat? We were happy, we have always been happy, or so I thought.
The memories of our confrontation in the garage came flooding back, aI have wondered what it would be like with someone else, too. The thing is, I didn't just stop there either, Lex, at the wondering bit I mean.' The memory made me shudder. Okay, so yes, I had been curious and tempted by another. I understood that part, but I had not f.u.c.ked Bryce behind Rick's back while we were happily playing husband and wife. I know I had come close, but I hadn't-I wouldn't have-and if I thought it was inevitable, I would have gone to Rick and told him or broken it off beforehand. I tried to think of exactly what it was that went wrong with Rick and I. Was it the fact we'd been together since we were kids? Was it getting married young? Was it having children young? Was it the fact I was a lot chubbier five years ago and feeling sorry for myself? I couldn't honestly put my finger on it. I guess he would have to enlighten me when I saw him, as to why he saw it fit to f.u.c.k Claire. One thing was for certain, though. I could not go back to him. Not now. And to be honest, I didn't think he would want me back either after the week I have had with Bryce.
I got out of the shower and found Bryce making breakfast, or was it lunch? I honestly had no idea what the time was. We had been awake for hours after the previous night's medical a.s.sessment. Nurse Summers had administered not one, but two doses of hot, steamy s.e.x-medicine, having us well and truly occupied into the night and early hours of the morning. He was moving about in his kitchen, and as I watched him, it struck me that his normal elegantly flowing grace around this particular room was not apparent. He did not seem his normal self, and it was clear something was bugging him. His phone rang and vibrated across the bench. He looked at it, at the same time he noticed me standing there, and scooped it up instantly.
"I have to take this." He pa.s.sed me briskly and wandered out onto the balcony. I eyed him as he spoke on the phone, and whoever he was speaking with had him acting very nervous. His hand was placed on the bal.u.s.trade railing, and I noticed it was tensing and gripping tightly. Who is he talking to? He turned ever so slightly and looked in my direction, as if he had felt my curious stare pierce deep into the back of his head. Feeling I was intruding on his conversation, I gave him a shy smile and looked away. When he hung up he put his finger in the air to suggest he'd be a little while longer, and then headed into his office. I hate secrets with a pa.s.sion, but I guess he was ent.i.tled to them, especially if they were work related, as this one probably was. While he was gone my phone beeped. I lifted it out of my pocket to find a text message from Rick.
Alexis, we really need to talk.
You cannot avoid me forever, it's not just about us - Rick I read it out aloud. Don't lay the guilt trip on me. I know very well it is not just about aus'. I started to type a reply.
I'm fully aware that we need 2 talk, & I will when I'm ready.
U of all people should not try & lay a guilt trip on me, especially when it comes 2 our kids - Alexis I pressed send and put the phone back into my pocket just as Bryce came through the door, both of us displaying startled and secretive expressions.
"Is everything all right?" I queried.
"Yes, Hunny. Just had to do some quick banking." Oh, okay, I guess that could be stressful considering the copious amount of money he has? "So, my love, do you notice anything different at all?" I caught a glimpse of his very brief devilish glint which made me automatically go into survival mode. Right, he is going to attack, but why? How? When? I surveyed the room, spotting a picture of the two of us on top of Ayer's Rock stuck to his fridge next to the picture of Lucy and him. Oh Mr Adorable Clark, you've officially added me to your stainless steel picture board of love. How sweet.
"Um, you've put a picture of us on your fridge." I pointed to it.
"Yes, I have, but no...something different about me?" About him? I happily scrutinized him. No, you are as s.e.xy as ever, right from your manly feet, to your sculpted legs, to your unbelievable package...I leaned back from the bench to get a better view of his groin, ...to your glorious chest, and up to your luscious hair which falls upon your irresistibly handsome face and forehead...which no longer has a Dora band-aid stuck to it...oh s.h.i.t! Look away Alexis, look away.
"Nope, I have no idea what is different about you." I glanced up at him ever so slightly. Uh oh. s.h.i.t, run! I took off and got as far as the lounge, stopping on the other side of the sofa.
"So, you think it's funny to stick Dora the f.u.c.king Explorer to my head?" I laughed but kept my wits about me as the sofa did not offer much protection.
"What? What's wrong with Dora? She has a wealth of knowledge. Do you know she can speak fluent Spanish? Hola." He cracked his head from side to side. f.u.c.k, I'm a goner. I grabbed a cushion and held it up, as I needed some form of defence. He stood up on the sofa and s.n.a.t.c.hed it away from me. Uh Oh. I tried my best Spanish accent. "Hey, Swiper, no swiping." He growled and launched himself over the sofa at me. I screamed and ran for the balcony but he had me up and in his arms before I had even made it to the bi-folds. "I'm sorry, it was the only band-aid I had. Anyway we are even now."
"Oh no, Ms. Summers, we are far from even." He carried me out onto the balcony and over to the edge of the pool.
"No, Bryce, please, I just had a shower."
"We'll have another one then."
"You are so infuriating." I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact.
"You are so cheeky." He kept a tight grip on me, but had not yet taken the plunge.
I opened one eye. "You are going to ruin all of my clothes."
"You are making me ruin all your clothes."
Grrrr, he never lets up. I opened the other eye. "You always have to win."
"You always drive me crazy."
He still hasn't jumped in yet. "No, Mr. Clark, you always drive me crazy."
"You mean the world to me, Alexis." This conversation is now taking a different turn. Whatever I am doing, must be working.
"You make me second guess myself, Bryce."
"You set my heart on fire, and keep it burning till it hurts, my love."
I touched his face. "You, Mr. G.o.d-d.a.m.n, Breath-takingly Superb Clark, are the reason I have finally discovered what true love and happiness is."
He raised his arms and lifted me to his mouth, then whispered as he kissed me.
"You, Alexis, are absolutely everything I will ever want or need. Please remember that tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow, when you see Rick." I kicked my legs down and stood at the edge of the pool facing him.
"Bryce, I am not going back to him, I can't. You know I can't." He nodded then hung his head. "What? What is eating at you? I'm not stupid Bryce. I know something is wrong. Just tell me. What have you done?"
He raised his head and the look on his face betrayed his ability to keep his burden eating secret any longer. "Come with me." He took my hand and led me to his office, then punched a code into both doors.
"What are you doing? Locking us in?"
"Yes."
I felt the colour drain from my face. I needed to sit and sit quickly. Whatever he was about to reveal to me, was serious enough for him to think it would make me want to flee.
Nervous and repentant those were the words I would use to describe how he looked when he handed me a manila folder.
"Before you open it, you need to remember I promised you I would make the impossible possible, and I never go back on my promises. Ever." I remembered him telling me that the night I promised I would give him a week, but at that time I couldn't see how on earth it would ever happen. I opened the folder with my trembling hands. What the f.u.c.k is this? The contents had my heart feeling strangled, like my outer sh.e.l.l was slowly caving in and engulfing everything that was within it. The images before me showed Claire in suggestive underwear standing in front of Rick. In one photo, her arms were around his neck, and his hands were on her hips. In another, they were kissing and his hands were this time on her face. But it was the final photo that triggered the raging volcano inside to finally erupt. She was looking directly into the lens of the camera wearing an expression of complete and utter satisfaction. I dropped the folder and its contents on the floor.
"Where did you get these?" I could barely breathe let alone clearly voice the words.
"From Claire." He could only manage a whisper also.
"Claire? How?"
"She works in the city at a mortgage broking firm." What the f.u.c.k is she doing in Melbourne, and how the f.u.c.k does he know about Claire? I looked up, shocked and confused.
"How do you know about Claire?"
He was sitting with his a.r.s.e on the edge of his desk and his arms crossed in front of him. "Creepy Research." Creepy f.u.c.king research, I might've guessed.
"That is no longer an answer Bryce, I want to know how?"
He sighed. "I've told you before. Lucy."
"What do you mean Lucy? How could she have possibly known who Claire was and how to track her down?" He clenched his fist and looked pained at the idea of answering me. "Bryce, I want a straight answer."
"Okay, okay. Lucy is capable of hacking computer systems. I guess you could call her a genius. She has an extremely high IQ. I told her to dig into Rick's life and find anything she possibly could."
"You what?" I couldn't believe it. That was not normal.
"Look, I don't want to go into detail in relation to Lucy's talents. I will one day, I promise you, but not now, not until I have spoken to her about it. Okay?" He looked torn, torn between confiding in me and sharing a secret that was not necessarily his to share.
"Fine, but that's not the end of it. I want to know exactly what Lucy has dug up about me and the people in my life."
"That's not all Alexis." Oh s.h.i.t, what else? My head started to spin and I felt dizzy. He knelt down in front of me.
"When you were away with your friends, I...I..."
"You what?"
"I went to see Rick." He looked up, and I had never seen such terror on a person in my life. I could see now why he locked the doors, because this had to be the point he thought I would flee.
"You did what?" Again, I couldn't believe it.
"I went to your house and told him I loved you. I told him you had feelings for me too and that I wanted to spend a week with you, one where you could feel guilt free and make whatever choices you wanted. He said no."
"Of course he f.u.c.king said no Bryce. What were you thinking? You had no right to approach Rick, no right at all." I put my head in my hands.
"I promised you my love, I promised I would make it happen and this was me making it happen." He removed my hands from my head and held onto to both of them. "When he said no, I threatened to tell you about Claire."
"Oh G.o.d." I started to cry.
"Alexis, it doesn't change anything, it doesn't change the fact he cheated on you. Claire said herself that he initiated their whole relationship." I stood up.
"Enough, I don't want to hear another word." I walked over to the apartment door and turned the handle, it didn't unlock. "Open this f.u.c.king door. Now!"
"Where are you going? Are you leaving me?" He was beyond miserable.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bryce, I just need air and a moment to myself."
He slowly walked over to the door and unlocked it. I entered the apartment and headed straight to the balcony.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
My eyes were tear soaked, making the view over the city of Melbourne from the bal.u.s.trade quite blurry and distorted. I found myself trying to dissect how the h.e.l.l my average, ordinary everyday life had turned to full, disorganised, and outrageously crazy chaos. I wasn't angry at Bryce. Okay I was a little, because of his creepy research and his notion that he had a prerogative to do and say whatever he wanted. I guess I was more shocked that he would go to such lengths to ensure we could be together. It really shouldn't have surprised me though, especially after the week we had just shared and seeing first hand all the amazing things he had done for me, time and time again.
The salty menaces began to escape the confines of my eyes and stream down my face again. I leaned over the rail, no longer afraid of the fact I was forty-something stories above ground. Perilous as it was, it was nothing compared to seeing photographic proof of my supposedly loving husband in the arms of another woman. Rick and I had not just been husband and wife, we had been lovers and best friends. And five years ago, during one of the toughest times in my life, he had chosen to give in to his curiosity of experiencing someone else s.e.xually, betraying all these things we shared, and that cut very deep.
I heard slow and steady footsteps approaching me from behind. Bryce hesitantly stepped up to where I was standing and handed me a tissue. He was also holding a cup of tea in his hands.
"Alexis, I thought you might like these." He pa.s.sed over the cup of tea and touched my finger gently. "I'm sorry. I never should have gone behind your back." I met his regretful and now insecure gaze.
"No, you shouldn't have."
"Alexis, I regret hurting you, but I don't regret forcing Rick to be honest. If I hadn't I would not have been able to experience the best week of my life, and I would not have experienced sharing every wonderful moment with you. I couldn't possibly regret any of that." I turned to him.
"If you and I have any chance whatsoever of a future together, you cannot keep secrets from me. I deserve better than that. I'm not angry with you, because your intentions were in our best interest, but you need to stay out of my relationship with Rick. It is none of your business, not at this stage anyway."
A very delicate smile appeared on his face. "At this stage? Does that mean we will experience more stages then?"
I moved my line of vision to the Yarra River and away from his. "Yes, Bryce, I hope to have many more." He gently moved behind me and enclosed me with his warm, safe, and secure arms.
"There is nothing else I want my love, just you and your happiness." I stood there in his arms until the tears ran dry. I realised that by him revealing the pictures and confessing his secret, that I was now ready to face Rick. Strangely enough, the shock and hurt of Bryce's disclosure had been exactly what I needed.
Bryce had tip-toed around me for most of the afternoon and it was starting to p.i.s.s me off. This was our last night together for who knew how long, and I didn't want to spend it playing silent games with him. Dinner time was fast approaching and he had been preparing something in the kitchen. I think he was also hiding from me out of guilt.
"Can I help with anything?" The smell was glorious, and his graceful kitchen elegance had returned. He really did look so comfortable and at ease, like he was conducting an orchestra of simmering pots and chopping knives.
"No, Hunny, I'm nearly finished. Are you hungry?"
"Yes, a little."
"Good."
"What are we having?" I could see the deep-fryer bubbling away.
"It's Sat.u.r.day night, I always have fish an' chips on Sat.u.r.day night." Oh how cute, I often do Schnitzel Sundays at home! "Lucy and Nic normally join me, but I rescheduled them for next week."
"You didn't have to do that Bryce, I feel bad now."
"Don't, Hunny. Anyway, I want to spend tonight alone with you and you only." He dished up a big plate of lightly fried tempura calamari, scallops, prawns, and snapper, surrounding them with chunky wedges of potatoes and a homemade tartare sauce. Looks like the best fish an' chips ever!