Tamed By Your Desire - novelonlinefull.com
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Mona remembered to breathe and the air whooshed out of her. Dizziness nearly overcame her, but she steadied herself-Arlana was looking right up at her. Why was she here? Had she come to watch the execution? That would be Mona's luck-the notorious recluse emerged from her hermit hole for a bit of diversion.
Arlana's gaze fastened on Mona, a.s.sessing, judging. The silence drew out interminably. Mona could hear her heart pounding against her ribs, her breath laboring with fear. The villagers were similarly quiet, everyone waiting with bated breath for Arlana to reveal her reason for venturing out of the wood.
"My apprentice is dead," Arlana called out, her voice cracking as if she hadn't used it in years, never taking her eyes from Mona. "I need another. She'll do."
A soft murmuring began in the crowd and washed through them like a wave. Mona stared at the old woman incredulously. Though Arlana was much revered by the village she couldn't seriously expect them to just let Mona go because she said so.
The priest stepped forward, distressed. "B-but she is a murderess-"
"I know what I know and you're wrong." Her sharp gaze pinned the priest. "She was telling the truth. Her husband was possessed."
The crowd gasped and the priest swung around, wide eyes on Mona. His lips flapped but nothing came out. Without orders the executioner swiftly removed the rope from Mona's neck and cut her bindings, helping her gently down from the stool.
Mona looked out at the crowd, confused, trembling from the sudden reprieve. They eyed her differently now. She'd always been known as a healer, and yet all knew she was human, fallible-and of late, they believed her depraved. Arlana was viewed as something else, something otherworldly, beyond understanding. And she was good. A white witch. This is what Mona saw in their eyes now as they gazed at her. Wonder, as if seeing her for the first time.
Legs shaking, Mona descended the gallows steps. No one tried to stop her. As she neared Arlana, the villagers reached out to touch the old woman's skirts and her pony. Mona reached Arlana's side and gazed up at her. A small smile curved the witch's lips.
Mona shook her head slowly, unable to give voice to the emotions welling up in her chest, choking her. "Thank you," she whispered.
Arlana let out a short, breathy laugh as she tapped her pony's sides and gestured for Mona to follow her. "You'll be cursing me afore this is over."
It was a fine cottage-bastle house, really-with a s.p.a.cious upper floor and the lower floor devoted to livestock. It was precious few that didn't live intimately with the cows and chickens. The floor was not dirt but clean wooden planks. The wood creaked and groaned as Arlana walked on it and Mona feared it would give way under her bulk. But it held and the old witch lowered herself slowly and painfully onto the rug before the hearth. She waved a fat-fingered hand for Mona to build the fire back up. The silver rings on her fingers glittered in the dim light, shafts of weak sunlight from the open windows catching the cut edges of her jewels.
Arlana had spoken little to Mona on the long ride into the woods. Mona had tried to question the white witch about why she'd been chosen as the apprentice, for Mona had always thought Arlana's apprentice had to be a virgin. But Arlana only shook her head and bade her to be patient.
They'd had to stop frequently to rest the pony and Mona had been forced to help Arlana from her perch on the poor creature's back. Mona had never seen the like-Arlana's ankles were as big as Mona's thighs-and her feet were small, plump things, encased in silk beaded slippers. Mona knew well where all the finery came from. Scots and English alike traveled to her for healing remedies and fortunes. So far as Mona had heard, Arlana was never wrong. Though she never asked for a penny in payment she was always well rewarded.
"You should have come to me long ago," Arlana said as Mona piled logs onto the dying embers.
Mona turned, frowning. "Come to you?"
"When you first suspected your husband was... not right in the head."
The slithering returned to Mona's belly as it always did when she was reminded of Edwin Musgrave. "I couldn't. He wouldn't let me out of his sight."
Arlana nodded sagely.
Mona leaned forward. "Is it like you said? Was he possessed by the devil?"
Arlana scowled. "How should I know? It isn't like the old h.o.r.n.y ever showed hisself to me." She c.o.c.ked a dark brow. "Not the Almighty, either-and me a white witch. Don't you forget it."
Mona shook her head. "But you said..."
"Never mind what I said. What's the matter with you, girl? Have you never told a lie?"
Mona placed her hands firmly on her hips. "I don't lie."
"Aye-that much is clear. That's why you found yourself on the gallows with a noose about your neck." She snorted, shaking her head and pulling a wooden bowl near. "She doesn't lie! Imagine that!" She pointed the pestle at Mona before smashing it into the bowl. "Thank the good Lord that I do lie, or you'd be swinging in the breeze, la.s.sie! Swinging in the breeze!"
Mona's hand crept up to her neck and she grimaced, ma.s.saging the suddenly sensitive skin. "I am to be your apprentice...?"
Arlana glanced meaningfully at the cold logs. "Not if you cannot get a fire going."
Mona leapt into action. Once the fire was blazing, she lowered herself onto the floor beside Arlana. "I owe you my life. I will do anything you wish, but please tell me what it is you want from me."
Arlana set the bowl aside, the contents-herbs or roots Mona was not familiar with-now ground to a fine red powder. Her round cheeks were flushed from the exercise of pulverizing the substance. "I have long watched you, Mona Musgrave."
Mona put a surprised hand to her chest, but didn't speak. Since she was a very small child she'd heard stories about Arlana. She was the keeper of an ancient stone, the Clachan Fala. She was a white witch, immortal. She'd been alive forever. She was feared and respected in the village, her name spoken in hushed whispers. That Arlana had been watching Mona Musgrave was a shock.
Arlana's penetrating gaze took in the play of emotions across Mona's face and she nodded slowly. "Yes. I had my eye on you when you were but a wee la.s.sie. I'd marked you as the one to take my place. But then you fell in with that foolish Edwin and ruined my plans."
Mona had the strangest urge to apologize, but held her tongue. How could she be sorry for something she'd never even been aware of?
"But now he's gone and I see that he was part of the plan."
Mona blinked. How could being married to Edwin be part of anyone's plan? Visions of his twitching face, his fierce eyes, his impa.s.sioned outbursts-him holding her under the water until she went limp-all these things bombarded her and she shook her head incredulously, her face twisting with the effort to shut the memories away.
Arlana's lips only pursed and her eyebrows rose. "Oh, yes. It is a solitary life I lead, you see that. But it must be that way. No men are allowed to know the secrets of the Clachan Fala-except the chosen one. You..." Arlana waved a hand, gesturing at Mona's body. "Men are drawn to you. You would have eventually been tempted and then all would have been lost. But now, after Edwin, I suspect you want nothing to do with men."
Mona shuddered, a trembling revulsion filling her. But it was accompanied by a deep ache. She desperately wanted a child. Just one. And for that, she needed a man. But Arlana was right, after Edwin, she'd come to the conclusion it wasn't worth it.
"You're right. I am... afraid to be with another man."
Arlana smiled and nodded, content. "Ah, good. You are right to be afraid." She pointed a fleshy finger at Mona. "Men are responsible for slipping a noose about your neck. Men fear a woman strong enough to take matters into her own hands and rid herself of a worthless, abusive husband. You terrify them-so they tried to kill you. If there is a devil, it lives in the hearts of men. Oh, they don't know it and some of them look to be angels in the flesh, but they will suck your soul away and throw it out like trash. To be the keeper, you must have your soul intact. Is your soul intact?"
Mona frowned, unsure how to answer. She searched within herself, feeling certain that Edwin took nothing but her innocence and trust, and they were not her soul. They were only remnants of the child she once was. "Yes, my soul is intact."
"Good. Do you want to be my apprentice? To one day be the keeper of the Clachan Fala?"
Mona opened her mouth to give an affirmative answer, then closed it, confused. The grat.i.tude she felt toward Arlana was enormous, but she wasn't even sure what the Clachan Fala was, or what, as the keeper, she would be expected to do.
Arlana gave her a cynical smile. The fire, now blazing, cast her face in a red light, making her resemble a grinning goblin. "Not so grateful now that the noose is gone."
Mona's head snapped up, deeply insulted that Arlana would doubt her integrity. "I will be the keeper. I will do all that you teach me."
A cold smile spread over Arlana's face and her eyes grew flat. "Good. Now forget everything you've ever learned about right and wrong. It no longer matters where I will take you. It is a world that only women can understand. Men have no place in it. The men of this world think only they understand loyalty, courage, honor, duty-but they know nothing. I've given my entire life to protect the Clachan Fala and if I had my life to live over again, I would repeat it."
Mona leaned forward, entranced by Arlana's words. "The Clachan Fala... what is it?"
Arlana smiled and leaned back, settling her enormous bulk about her, adjusting the colorful skirts over her round knees. "This is how it begins. My master, Merry Musgrave, first told me the story and now I pa.s.s it on to you. There are two rules you must never forget. The first is that nothing I tell you is to ever be written down." Arlana tapped a finger against her forehead and Mona noticed the nails were stained bright red. "It all must be in here. You will commit it to memory, every word, and when I'm gone, you will find an apprentice and begin anew."
Mona nodded. "What is the second rule?"
"You tell no one but your apprentice what I teach you."
"No one?"
Arlana's eyes narrowed. "No one. There are many who think they already know a great deal and they'll want to know more. They'll try to make you tell them. You mustn't give in."
Mona nodded, chilled by these rules.