Tales from Blackwood Volume Ii Part 14

"Don't call me Edith, sir! This continued importunity is insufferable!

If you have any explanation to make, you must select a fitter time," and the sliding-panel was instantly closed.

"Ye've cotohed it ony hoo!" said the shrimp, with a malignant leer.

"Wauken up, Bauldy, my man, and let's see how cleverly ye'll gae through them!"

A few words of explanation satisfied our commanding-officer, and the victorious machine rolled insultingly through the lines. I have not spirits to narrate the further proceedings of that day. My heart was not in the squadron; and my eyes, even when ordered to be directed to the left, were stealthily turned in the other direction towards two distant figures in bathing-gowns, sedulously attempting to drown one another in fun. Shortly afterwards we dispersed, and returned to Edinburgh. I attempted a visit of explanation, but Miss Bogle was not at home.

I messed that evening for the first time with the squadron. Judging from the laughter which arose on all sides, it was a merry party; but my heart was heavy, and I could hardly bring myself to enter cordially into the festivities. I was also rather uneasy in person, as will happen to young cavalry soldiers. I drank, however, a good deal of wine, and, as I was afterwards informed, recovered amazingly towards the close of the sederunt. They also told me, next morning, that I had entered Masaniello to run for the Squadron Cup.

CHAPTER IV.

"And so you really forgive me, Edith!" said I, bending over the lady of my love, as she sate creating worsted roses in a parterre of gossamer canva.s.s: "You are not angry at what happened the other day at that unlucky encounter on the sands?"

"Have I not said already that I forgive you?" replied Edith. "Is it necessary that I should a.s.sure you twice?"

"Charming Miss Bogle! you do not know how happy you have made me."

"Pray, don't lean over me so, or you'll make me spoil my work. See--I have absolutely put something like a caterpillar into the heart of this rosebud!"

"Never, dearest Edith, may any caterpillar prey upon the rosebud of your happiness. How curious! Do you know, the outline of that sketch reminds me forcibly of the countenance of Roper?"

"Mr M'Whirter!"

"Nay, I was merely jesting. Pray, Miss Bogle, what are your favourite colours?"

"Peach-blossom and scarlet; but why do you ask?"

"Do not press me for an explanation--it will come early enough. And now, Edith, I must bid you adieu."

"So soon? Cannot you spare a single hour from your military duties?

Bless me, how pale you are looking! Are you sure you are quite well?"

"Quite--that is to say a little shaken in the nerves or so. This continued exertion"--

"Do you mean at mess? Mr Roper told me sad stories about your proceedings two nights ago."

"Oh, pooh--nonsense! You will certainly then appear at the races?"

"You may depend upon me."

And so I took my leave.

The reader will gather from this conversation, which took place four days after the events detailed in last chapter, that I had effectually made my peace with Miss Bogle. For this arrangement Mary Muggerland took much more credit than I thought she was ent.i.tled to; however, it is of no use quarrelling with the well disposed, especially if they are females, as, in that case, you are sure to have the worst of it in the long run. I did not feel quite easy, however, regarding, the insinuations thrown out upon my unusually pallid appearance. The fact is, that the last week had rather been a fast one. The mess was remarkably pleasant, and all would have been quite right had we stopped there. But I had unfortunately yielded to the fascinations of Archy Chaffinch and some of the younger hands, who, being upon the loose, resolved to make the very most of it, and the consequence was, that, to the great scandal of Nelly, we kept highly untimeous hours. In fact, one night I made a slight mistake, which I have not yet, and may never hear, the last of, by walking, quite accidentally, into the house of my next-door neighbour--a grave and reverend signior--instead of my own, and abusing him like a pickpocket for his uncalled-for presence within the shade of my patrimonial lobby. It therefore followed that sometimes of a morning, after mounting Masaniello, I had a strong suspicion that a hive of bees had taken a fancy to settle upon my helmet--a compliment which might have been highly satisfactory to the infant Virgil, but was by no means suited to the nerves or taste of an adult Writer to the Signet.

Roper had been my guest at one of the late messes. His speech in returning thanks for the health of his regiment was one of the richest specimens of oratory I ever had the good fortune to hear, and ought to be embalmed for the benefit of an aspiring posterity. It ran somewhat thus--

"I a.s.sure you, sir, that the honour you have just conferred upon ours, is--yas--amply appweciated, I a.s.sure you, sir, by the wegular army. It gives us, sir--yas--the hiwest gwatification to be pwesent at the mess of such a loyal body as the South-Lothian Yeomanry Cavalry. The distinguished services of that gallant corps, both at home and abwoad, are such as--yas--to demand the admiwation of their country, and--yas--in short, I feel compwetely overpowared. The bwoad banners of Bwitain floating over land and sea--chalk cliffs of old Albion, if I may be allowed the simile--wight hand of the service and left--wegulars and yeomanry--and the three corners of the world may come at once in arms, and be considewably shocked for their pains. Permit me again to expwess my extweme thanks for the honour you have done to ours."

Now, on that evening, as I can conscientiously vouch, Roper contrived to deposit at least two bottles of claret beneath his belt. Any revelations, therefore, of what took place at our hospitable board, amounted to a gross breach of confidence, and were quite unpardonable; more especially when our relative situations with regard to the affections of Miss Bogle are considered. But Punic faith is the very least that one can expect from a rival.

On the review day, the whole regiment turned out under auspices of unusual smartness. We were to be inspected by a veteran officer of high rank and reputation, and, under those circ.u.mstances, we all thought ourselves bound in honour to support the credit of the corps. That was not remarkably difficult. You will hardly see anywhere a finer-looking set of fellows than the Mid-Lothian yeomanry, and our discipline, considering the short period of exercise, was really praiseworthy. In the words of our commanding-officer, he was justly proud of his recruits, and I can answer for it, that the recruits most cordially reciprocated the sentiment.

"Now, Anthony," said Pounset, as we formed into line, "I shall really be obliged to you to make less clatter with that scabbard of yours when we charge. My mare is mad enough with the music, without having the additional impetus of supposing that a score of empty kettles are tied to her tail."

"By jove, that's a good one!" replied Anthony. "Here have you been bunging up my eyes and making attempts upon my ribs for the last week, and yet you expect me to have no other earthly consideration beyond your personal comfort! How the deuce am I to manage my scabbard when both hands are occupied?"

"Can't you follow the example of Prince Charles, and throw it away?"

"Thank you for nothing! But, I say that sort of madness seems contagious. Here's M'Whirter's horse performing a fandango, which is far more curious than agreeable."

"What's the matter with Masaniello?" cried Archy Chaffinch; "he looks seriously inclined to bolt."

I had awful suspicions of the same nature. No sooner had the regimental band struck up, than my charger began to evince disagreeable signs of impatience; he pawed, pranced, snorted, curveted, and was utterly deaf to the blandishments with which I strove to allay his irritability. I was even thankful when we were put into motion preparatory to the charge, in the belief that action might render him less restive; and so it did for a time. But no sooner had we broke into a gallop, than I felt it was all up with me. I might as well have been without a bridle. The ungovernable brute laid back his ears like a tiger, and I shot past Randolph in an instant, very nearly upsetting that judicious warrior in my course.

Nor was I alone. Pounset's mare, who never brooked a rival, and who, moreover, had taken umbrage at the sonorous jolting of Anthony, was resolved not to be outstripped; and, taking the bridle between her teeth, came hard and heavy on my flank. The cry of "halt!" sounded far and faint behind us. We dashed past a carriage, in which, from a momentary glimpse, I recognised the form of Edith; while a dragoon officer--I knew intuitively it was Roper--had drawn up his horse by the side. They were laughing--yes! by heavens they were laughing--at the moment I was borne away headlong, and perhaps to destruction. My sword flew out of my hand--I had need of both to hold the reins. I shouted to Pounset to draw in, but an oath was the only reply!

I heard the blast of the recall bugle behind us, but Masaniello only stretched out more wildly. We splashed through the shallow pools of water, sending up the spray behind us; and onwards--onwards we went towards Joppa, with more than the velocity of the wind.

"Have a care, M'Whirter!" shouted Pounset. "Turn his head to the sea if you can. There's a quicksand right before you!"

I could as easily have converted a Mussulman. I saw before me a dark streak, as if some foul brook were stagnating on the sands. There was a dash, a splash, a shock, and I was catapulted over the ears of Masaniello.

I must have lost consciousness, I believe, for the next thing I remember was Pounset standing over me, and holding my quadruped by the bridle.

"We may thank our stars it is no worse," said he; "that stank fairly took the shine out of your brute, and brought him to a stand-still. Are you hurt?"

"Not much. But I say, what a figure I am!"

"Not altogether adapted for an evening party, I admit. But never mind.

There's a cure for everything except broken bones. Let's get back again as fast as we can, for the captain will be in a beautiful rage!"

We returned. A general acclamation burst from the squadron as we rode up, but the commanding officer looked severe as Draco.

"Am I to conclude, gentlemen," said he, "that this exhibition was a trial of the comparative merits of your horses preparatory to the racing? Upon such an occasion as this I must say"----

"Just look at M'Whirter, captain," said Pounset, "and then judge for yourself whether it was intentional. The fact is, my mare is as hot as ginger, and that black horse has no more mouth than a brickbat!"

"Well, after all, he _does_ seem in a precious mess. I shall pa.s.s it over as a mere accident, but don't let it happen again. Fall in, gentlemen."

There was, however, as regarded myself, considerable opposition to this order.

"Why, M'Whirter, you're not going to poison us to death, are you?" said Anthony Whaup. "Pray keep to the other side, like a good fellow--you're not just altogether a bouquet."

"Do they gut the herrings down yonder, M'Whirter?" asked Archy Chaffinch. "Excuse me for remarking that your flavour is rather full than fragrant."

"I wish they had allowed smoking on parade!" said a third. "It would require a strong Havannah to temper the exhalations of our comrade."