Tales and Novels Volume I Part 51

"One moment I fancy that he prefers _me_, the next moment I am certain he prefers another. Yesterday, when we were coming away from the green, I heard Mrs. Hargrave say to Lady S---- but why, mother, should I take up your time with these minute circ.u.mstances? I ought not to think any more about it."

"Ought not!" repeated Mrs. Temple; "my dear, it is a matter of prudence, rather than duty. By speaking to your mother with so much openness, you secure her esteem and affection; and, amongst the goods of this life, you will find the esteem and affection of a mother worth having,"

concluded Mrs. Temple, with a smile; and Helen parted from her mother with a feeling of grat.i.tude, which may securely be expected from an ingenuous well-educated daughter, who is treated with similar kindness.

No one was ready for breakfast the morning that Mr. Mountague arrived at S---- Hall, and he spent an hour alone in the breakfast-room. At length the silence was interrupted by a shrill female voice, which, as it approached nearer, he perceived to be the voice of a foreigner half suffocated with ineffectual desire to make her anger intelligible. He could only distinguish the words--"I ring, ring, ring, ay, twenty time, and n.o.body mind my bell nor me, no more dan noting at all." With a violent push, the breakfast-room door flew open, and Mlle.

Panache, little expecting to find any body there, entered, volubly repeating--"Dey let me ring, ring, ring!" Surprised at the sight of a gentleman, and a young gentleman, she repented having been so loud in her anger. However, upon the second reconnoitring glance at Mr. Mountague, she felt much in doubt how to behave towards him.

Mademoiselle boasted often of the well-bred instinct, by which she could immediately distinguish "_un homme comme il faut_" from any other; yet sometimes, like Falstaff's, her instinct was fallacious. Recollecting that Lady S---- had sent for an apothecary, she took it into her head that Mr. Mountague was this apothecary. "Miladi is not visible yet, sir," said she; "does she know you are here?"

"I hope not, ma'am; for I should be very sorry she were to be disturbed, after sitting up so late last night."

"Oh, dat will do her no harm, for I gave her, _pardonnez_, some excellent white wine whey out of my own head last night, when she got into her bed. I hope you don't make no objection to white wine whey, sir?"

"I!--not in the least, ma'am."

"Oh, I'm glad you don't disapprove of what I've done! You attend many family in dis country, sir?"

"Madam!" said Mr. Mountague, taking an instant's time to consider what she could mean by _attend_.

"You _visit_ many family in dis country, sir?" persisted mademoiselle.

"Very few, ma'am; I am a stranger in this part of the world, except at Mrs. Temple's."

"Madame Temple, ah, _oui_! I know her very well; she has two fine daughters--I mean when dey have seen more of de world. It's a great pity, too, dey have never had de advantage of a native, to teach de good p.r.o.nunciation _de la langue Francaise_. Madame Temple will repent herself of dat when it is too late, as I tell her always. But, sir, you have been at her house. I am sorry we did not hear none of de family had been indisposed."

"They are all now perfectly well, ma'am," replied Mr. Mountague, "except, indeed, that Mrs. Temple had a slight cold last week."

"But she is re-establish by your _advise_, I suppose? and she--did she recommend you to miladi?"

"No, madam," said Mr. Mountague, not a little puzzled by mademoiselle's phraseology: "Lord George ---- did me the honour to introduce me to Lady S----."

"Ah, Milord George! are you a long time acquainted wid milord?"

"Yes, ma'am, I have known Lord George many years."

"Ah, many year!--you be de family physician, _apparemment_?"

"The family physician! Oh no, ma'am!" said Mr. Mountague, smiling.

"Eh!" said mademoiselle, "but dat is being too modest. Many take _de t.i.tre_ of physician, I'll engage, wid less pretensions. And," added she, looking graciously, "_absolument_, I will not have you call yourself de family _apothicaire_."

At this moment Lord George came in, and shook his family apothecary by the hand, with an air of familiarity which astounded mademoiselle.

"_Qu'est ce que c'est_?" whispered she to Dashwood, who followed his lordship: "is not dis his _apothicaire_?" Dashwood, at this question, burst into a loud laugh. "Mr. Mountague," cried he, "have you been prescribing for mademoiselle? she asks if you are not an apothecary."

Immediately Lord George, who was fond of a joke, especially where there was a chance of throwing ridicule upon any body superior to him in abilities, joined most heartily in Dashwood's mirth; repeating the story, as "an excellent thing," to every one, as they came down to breakfast; especially to Lady Augusta, whom he congratulated, the moment she entered the room, upon her having danced the preceding evening with an apothecary. "Here he is!" said he, pointing to Mr. Mountague.

"_Ma chere amie! mon coeur!_ tink of my mistaking your Mr. Mountague for such a sort of person! If you had only told me, sir, dat you were Miladi Augusta's partner last night, it would have saved me de necessity of making ten million apologies for my stupidity, dat could not find it out. _Ma chere amie! Mon coeur!_ Miladi Augusta, will you make my excuse?"

"_Ma chere amie! mon coeur!_" repeated Mr. Mountague to himself: "is it possible that this woman can be an intimate friend of Lady Augusta?"

What was his surprise, when he discovered that Mlle. Panache had been her ladyship's governess! He fell into a melancholy reverie for some moments. "So she has been educated by a vulgar, silly, conceited French governess!" said he to himself; "but that is her misfortune, not her fault. She is very young, and a man of sense might make her what he pleased." When Mr. Mountague recovered from his reverie, he heard the company, as they seated themselves at the breakfast-table, begin to talk over the last night's ball. "You did not tire yourself last night with dancing, my lord," said Dashwood.

"No; I hate dancing," replied Lord George: "I wish the ladies would take to dancing with one another; I think that would be an excellent scheme."

An aunt of his lordship, who was present, took great offence at this suggestion of her nephew. She had been used to the deference paid in former times to the s.e.x; and she said she could not bear to see women give up their proper places in society. "Really, George," added she, turning to her nephew, "I wish you would not talk in this manner. The young men now give themselves the strangest airs. Lady S----, I will expose him; do you know, last night, he was lolling at his full length upon a bench in the ball-room, while three young handsome ladies were standing opposite to him, tired to death."

"They could not be more tired than I was, I am sure, ma'am."

"Why, you had not been dancing, and they had."

"Had they, ma'am? that was not my fault. I did not ask 'em to dance, and I don't see it was my business to ask 'em to sit down. I did not know who they were, at any rate," concluded his lordship, sullenly.

"You knew they were women, and as such ent.i.tled to your respect."

Lord George gave a sneering smile, looked at Dashwood, and pulled up his boot.

"Another thing--you were in the house three weeks with Miss Earl last summer; you met her yesterday evening, and you thought proper not to take the least notice of her."

"Miss, Earl, ma'am; was she there?"

"Yes, close to you, and you never even bowed to her."

"I did not see her, ma'am."

"Mrs. Earl spoke to you."

"I didn't hear her, ma'am."

"I told you of it at the moment."

"I didn't understand you, ma'am."

"Besides, ma'am," interposed Dashwood, "as to Miss Earl, if she meant that my lord should bow to her, she should have curtsied first to him."

"Curtsied first to him!"

"Yes, that's the rule--that's the thing now. The ladies are always to speak first."

"I have nothing more to say, if that be the case. Lady Augusta, what say you to all this?"

"Oh, that it's shocking to be sure!" said Lady Augusta, "if one thinks of it; so the only way is not to think about it."

"An excellent bon-mot!" exclaimed Dashwood. "It's _thinking_ that spoils conversation, and every thing else."

"But," added Lady Augusta, who observed that her bon-mot was not so much admired by all the company as by Dashwood, "I really only mean, that one must do as other people do."

"_a.s.surement_," said mademoiselle; "not dat I approve of the want of gallantry in our gentlemen, neider. But, I tink, Mademoiselle Earl is as stiff as de poker, and I don't approve of dat, neider--_Je n'aime pas les prudes, moi_."

"But, without prudery, may not there be dignity of manners?" said the old lady, gravely.

"_Dignite!_--Oh, I don't say noting against _dignite_, neider; not but I tink de English reserve is _de trop_. I tink a lady of a certain rank has always good _principes_ enough, to be sure, and as to the rest _qu'importe?_--dat's my notions."