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Kristine took a small swig from Sol's flask, enjoying the burn at the back of her throat, struggling not to cry. "It would have been obvious who I'd been s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around with," she said quietly.
He stopped pacing but didn't turn until he'd figured it out. The hurt in his eyes was exactly as she'd imagined it would be. The years she had avoided it by lying to him did nothing to dampen his wounded expression. "You slept with Nicole? My Nicole?" His voice cracked.
Kristine bowed her head. "Yeah, I didn't know about that until after...when she said..." She did not want to share or even remember the post-s.e.x revelation she experienced when Nicole compared her kissing to her brother's.
Gabe strode back to the pack dock and s.n.a.t.c.hed the flask from Kristine and took a deep swallow before he sat down next to her, shoulders hunched. "You slept with my first love and then the two of you talked about me? That's even worse." His voice rose.
"If I'd known, I never would have let it go so far. I..."
"How could you not know? I told you I was in love. I talked about her all the time."
"You never said who. You flirted with everyone. I thought you were into one of the day-ride girls, someone your age." She took a deep breath, realizing her defensive answer came from trying to hide the truth. She had to own up to everything. "I was too busy s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around to notice. Dad told me to watch out for you, and I didn't. I did what I always did when I got away from Quincy, and I felt like such a s.h.i.t when she told me." Kristine flushed. "My head was spinning on what I could do to make it right, and then Nard was there shoving it in my face, saying I couldn't keep going around hurting people leading them on. I knew how angry and hurt you'd be and thought you'd feel like I deserved it."
"You think I'm that low?" he demanded angrily.
"If I'd told you about Nard, you'd have found out about Nicole. Everyone would have found out, and I couldn't live with that. You know the grief you would have gotten if they found out that your sister had slept with..." She couldn't make herself say it even now. "I had to get away from you as much as anything. I didn't want to see the look you're giving me right now."
Gabe turned away from her, rubbing the back of his close-cropped hair. "You let them think you were a flake instead."
She shrugged. "I didn't have to work with them anymore. You did."
"So you were watching out for me." He sounded doubtful.
"Trying to find a way to make it up to you. Why do you think I came back this summer? I still feel bad about it."
"You should. I really liked her."
"I know. We all knew. When I saw you at Christmas, you were still licking your wounds."
"She said she'd write. I thought she liked me...I never knew why she cut me off like that." His head hung low as he pa.s.sed the flask from hand to hand.
"You can't ever know what's going to come from a summer fling," Kristine said gently, remembering how hard she fought her feelings for Gloria because she fretted about the sting that would come at the end of the summer.
"So that's what it was for you?"
Kristine put her hand on Gabe's shoulder. "I knew that for you it was serious. That's why I had to go."
"But you knew for her it was a fling," he said pointedly.
"You didn't need to hear that from your sister."
"Now all I can think about is whether she was thinking about you when she was kissing me. Thanks," he grumbled.
Kristine bit her lip. "She wasn't the best kisser."
"Enough!" Gabe tipped the flask back again, then offered it to his sister.
She declined, and they sat staring at the mules waiting to be put away for the night. Kristine shivered as the cool evening air settled around them. Her thoughts spun on the regret of lying to Gabe tangled with the fear and anger from Nard's attack. It felt the same as it had the night she'd left six years ago. She wished she could change the course of events and make things right. She wanted to know what Gabe was thinking but at the same time wished there was a way they could just forget about it. A new reality hit her. "I have to tell Dad now, too."
Gabe nodded beside her. "Better call him before Leo does."
"On the ride back home that night, I had convinced myself that it would jeopardize Dad's business with Leo."
"You're more important than that," Gabe said frankly.
She rested her head against his shoulder. "I'll call him tomorrow. I don't feel up to it tonight."
"You should have told us back then. Even though I would have hated you."
"I never said I made the right choice," Kristine said. "Do you hate me now?"
"Yes."
Kristine's head shot up.
"Because you still get the girl." His eyes were on the road, on Gloria approaching with her knapsack slung over one shoulder. "I get dumped, and you get the girl. Go on," he said with a resigned sigh. "It'll take some time to sink in, but I don't hate you."
"Is everything okay?" Gloria's voice was heavy with concern as she approached them.
"It is now," Kristine said, standing to wrap her arms around Gloria. She felt something different in Gloria's hug and stepped back to look in her eyes.
"What's going on?" Gloria asked, looking from one sibling to the other.
"I gotta put the stock away," Gabe said. He tipped his hat and left them.
"Kristine?"
Kristine let out a long breath, feeling tears threatening again. "Gabe knows."
"Did something happen?" Gloria asked, alarmed. She took Kristine's hand.
"I'm okay. I'll fill you in." She stroked Gloria's cheek, tickling the stray hairs of her ponytail at the base of her neck. She wanted Gloria to hear the details of her afternoon, but she was puzzled by the way Gloria held herself. Something was different. She seemed distant. Guarded? "What about you?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Gloria said, smiling. "I talked to my mom earlier."
Kristine's face went pale. She was so caught up in what had happened with Nard that she didn't even consider that something may have changed with Gloria's mother's health. "She's okay, isn't she?"
"I was just checking in with her. I didn't mean to scare you," she said.
Distracted. Kristine finally placed it. Gloria was distracted by something.
"h.e.l.lo, by the way," Gloria said, leaning forward to kiss Kristine. Kristine loved that they had a h.e.l.lo kiss. Fairly quick, but warm, supple, the sigh of a soft place to rest after a long day. She returned the kiss, moving beyond the h.e.l.lo kiss into the kiss of want, the one that said she had missed Gloria and had every intention of removing all her clothes as soon as possible. Gloria hummed in response, and when they broke apart, her eyes were all fire and desire and it felt like she was fully present again. "Really?"
"Like you're surprised," Kristine answered, swatting Gloria on the a.s.s. "I know you're going to make me talk it all out, but don't think you're going to be able to keep me from having my way with you."
"I wouldn't dream of trying to stop you," she answered, slipping her hand into Kristine's.
Chapter Thirty-Four.
"Sorry I'm so late," Kristine said, dropping her boots by the door and a kiss on Gloria's cheek. "Lemme just get the top layer of grit off, and then I'm yours."
"I like the sound of that," Gloria said, turning to s.n.a.t.c.h a quick kiss before Kristine cleaned up. In the week since Kristine's return from the backcountry, they'd fallen into a routine. After Kristine told Leo the truth about why she had left all those years ago, he sent Nard back to Bishop, put Gabe on Nard's last few overnight trips and sent other people up from the Lodge to help for the day if more than one spot trip was leaving out of the outpost. Thus, after Kristine had loaded stock that was headed back to the Lodge into the truck or put them up in the corral, they had the place to themselves.
Gloria listened to the water running in the bathroom and knew that Kristine was up to her elbows in soap. Once she'd removed the day's dust from her face, they'd eat dinner together, catching up on their respective days. While Gloria did dishes, Kristine finished her ch.o.r.es before it got dark. They then had the rest of the evening to lounge and read. She smiled thinking about how many nights they got distracted by each other. What started as an innocent backrub or foot rub quickly evolved into another exploration of each other's body.
Being with Kristine was so different to anyone she'd ever been with before. She didn't feel crowded by her like she did by Meg. Intuitively, Kristine gave Gloria the s.p.a.ce she needed. When she had to work, Kristine might pause to run her fingers through Gloria's hair or kiss her neck just behind her ear, but then she'd move to her own project, not threatened by the demands of Gloria's work.
At the same time, she felt more deeply connected to Kristine than she had with any of the women she'd hooked up with during her other temporary a.s.signments. She and Kristine shared more than s.e.x, and she found that she didn't want to give up that compatibility.
Kristine emerged with a clean tee and freshly scrubbed face and neck. She'd run her wet fingers through her short hair, accentuating the natural wave. She looked beat.
"How many hours were you in the saddle today?"
"Too many," Kristine said, sinking into her chair.
"When I came back from Mammoth, your stock was here, but I couldn't find you anywhere."
"Typical Leo. He overbooks at the end of the season, forgetting who is going off to college early. Takeisha helped Dozer out of the yard, but she brought my stock home since she wanted to get on the road and still had her cabin to pack up. I got to finish up the drop with Dozer."
"Did he give you any grief?" Gloria knew that Kristine hadn't wanted a big deal made out of what had happened with Nard. Leo's sending him off to Bishop had thrown a wrench in her hoping for a quiet resolution. As Kristine had suspected, Nard was quick to reveal her indiscretion with Gabe's girlfriend. She wondered if the fallout was as bad now as Kristine had always feared it would be.
"None. I expect Gabe's getting the worst of it, but he won't say anything when I ask."
Gloria waited for her to continue. Typically, Kristine chatted about her guests and events on the trail, but tonight they ate in silence. Their normal easy dinner conversation had stalled. Kristine looked to be chewing on something more than her food. Gloria certainly was, having finally received confirmation from the lab that she'd been right about the bear she'd shot and wanted to share the news with Kristine. "What are you thinking about over there?"
Kristine smiled at Gloria's question. "You can tell, huh? Guess I'm pretty easy to read. It's just this conversation with Dozer I had. Like I said, he didn't mention Nard, but he was surprised that I wasn't on Leo's case for keeping me in the saddle all day or using stock that should be done for the summer. I explained to him that I spent all these years feeling guilty for walking away, but today, I got to see that Leo makes do. He always manages to get someone in the saddle to keep things going. It's not my responsibility. It never was. It isn't my place anymore."
"You said all that to Dozer?" She found it difficult to picture the conversation happening between Kristine and the man she'd shot in the a.s.s at the beginning of the summer.
Kristine laughed. "That's the thing! He just kept working, totally uncomfortable. I said we don't usually talk about this sort of stuff, and he said, 'Yeah, don't you have a girlfriend?'"
Gloria's eyes widened and Kristine shrugged shyly. She didn't know what to say. She'd very much like to be Kristine's girlfriend, but they weren't going to be here in the cozy cabin for very much longer. She had to leave, and she was still scared to ask Kristine to come with her. She hadn't let anyone stand in the way of her career and certainly didn't want to hold Kristine back in hers. She saw Kristine start to worry over the silence. She pushed her food around on her plate, her eyes hidden. Gloria realized she had to level with her, she had to let her know why it wasn't that easy. "I got the promotion."
Kristine's eyes shot up. "What?"
"Leo came by to say he got a call from Scott. He seemed grateful I'd saved his a.s.s. Mauled guests might have had a negative impact on business and all."
"Not that he'd ever come out and thank you."
"No. But he came by. It was a nice acknowledgment. I went up to talk to Scott about it all. He seemed pretty impressed to get a call from the Director of Fish and Wildlife. He relayed that it's actually me they want to talk to. Long story short, they want me in Sacramento to formalize my recommendations for how to decrease the contact between humans and bears in this area, and then I have my pick of field offices to run."
Kristine set down her fork. "Wow. That's super." Her voice sounded strained. "When do they want you in Sacramento?"
Gloria reached for Kristine's hand, hating the trepidation she saw in her eyes. "Tomorrow."
"So that's it." Kristine pushed away from the table, clearing her plate. She stood at the sink with her back to Gloria.
"I don't want it to be," Gloria said. She rose and crossed the kitchen, putting her hand on Kristine's shoulder. "I can tell them I need time to think about which field office would work best for me. We could get lucky. You could get a job in a city that has a field office. Then we'd be set."
Kristine turned. "That's ridiculous. You've wanted the Eureka field office forever. You have to take it." Gloria's heart sang with the knowledge that Kristine knew her so well but sank when she saw the defeated look on Kristine's face. "We've talked about the schools out there, about the possibility of teaching there, but if that doesn't come through..."
"I know you have to follow your dream," Gloria said. "I would never ask you to give that up."
"But the same is true for you. I couldn't ask you to pa.s.s up the chance to be near your folks."
"Where does that leave us?" Gloria whispered.
"Making the most of tonight?" Kristine asked hopefully.
Gloria wanted more than one night and was disappointed in Kristine's flippant response. It wasn't that she didn't want Kristine. It was that she wanted Kristine in the long term. She wanted all of Kristine's nights, but she knew she couldn't ask for that. Kristine's hands pulled at the fabric of Gloria's shirt. She raised her hands allowing Kristine to remove her tee. She shuddered as her lover unclasped her bra, freeing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her nipples already tight buds, begging for Kristine's mouth. Gloria smiled as Kristine pulled off her own shirt and bra. Kristine's comfort with her body was one of the s.e.xiest things about her. But Kristine shirtless, all feminine and soft on top, remained rugged below, still clad in her cowboy boots, jeans and belt buckle. The contrast of her bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s and belt buckle ill.u.s.trated Kristine's complexity perfectly. She raised an eyebrow and led Gloria to the bedroom, pressing her back to the mattress, stripping off her jeans and panties.
Hungry for more, Gloria unfastened Kristine's belt buckle, pulling her belt slowly through the loops. Kristine held her gaze as the belt slipped away from her waist. "This is mine."
"Fair enough," Kristine whispered. She wrapped her mouth around Gloria's nipple, pulling hard. "This is mine."
Gloria writhed beneath her, trying to pull Kristine to her, wanting to press her whole body to Kristine's.
Hovering above her, Kristine whispered, "And this," she said, nipping her ear lobe. She continued down Gloria's frame, skimming her belly, her hips, ankles, the back of each knee, claiming Gloria with her words and mouth, and Gloria let her, knowing Kristine's words were true. She was Kristine's.
Gloria panted as Kristine traced the inside of her thigh with her tongue, and she sank into Kristine when her mouth finally touched down at her center, on fire from the moment Kristine's lips and tongue began to dance across her throbbing c.l.i.t. Her hips matched the rhythm Kristine set, wanting more contact, more pressure, more of Kristine.
"I want you inside," she whispered.
The pressure built as she felt Kristine trace the path her tongue had taken with her finger. Instead of honoring Gloria's request immediately, she teased, circling her c.l.i.t with her finger, slipping down to Gloria's s.e.x but leaving just as Gloria was ready for Kristine to fill her.
"I need you inside," she growled.
Kristine's thumb replaced her mouth. Gloria groaned her disappointment and frustration but gasped as Kristine's tongue batted her nipple. She arched into the contact just as Kristine finally slid her fingers inside her, releasing Gloria's o.r.g.a.s.m. Gloria continued to buck against Kristine, her arms tight around her lover as she rode the aftershocks.
When she stilled, Kristine raised her head, finding Gloria's eyes. "This isn't goodbye," she whispered. "We'll figure it out."
Gloria tilted her head away from Kristine's look of determination, tears falling onto the pillow. She ducked her head and wiggled free of Kristine's grasp, kissing a swift path down Kristine's tummy, her tears mixing with the salty tang on Kristine's skin, her long hair tickling its own path. She was as quick to her destination as Kristine had been slow, smiling at the surprised gasp that escaped Kristine as Gloria's tongue found Kristine's slick folds. Using lips, tongue, pressure and feather touch, she lost herself in her lover.
She tasted like rain, Gloria realized, which made her think of tears and goodbyes. It suddenly made her feel more homesick for the Northcoast than she had in years, cementing the truth that she did, in fact, have to take her hometown field office. But Kristine felt like home, too, and Gloria longed to share foggy, cold days cuddled up with Kristine in her arms. Kristine didn't last long under Gloria's tongue, hissing her pleasure as Gloria entered her, calling her name as she finished. Gloria pressed her face to Kristine's damp thigh as she caught her breath, loving the smell of their combined s.e.x in Kristine's bed.
Kristine pulled her up into her arms, and Gloria rested her head against Kristine's chest, hearing her heart beat wildly beneath her ear. "I love you," Kristine whispered.
Gloria absorbed Kristine's declaration, her breath catching, tears threatening again. She'd heard the words before but her heart had never echoed them like it did now. "I love you, Kristine."
"We don't need to be on the same trail to be headed in the same direction," Kristine said.