Survivor: The Autobiography Part 3

1 private sack

15.5 34.

1 medicine chest

9.00 20.

1 tent

9.0 20.

2 tentp

1.5 3.3.

Meat

5.0 11.

117.9 259.7.

1 gun

1.6 3.5.

119.5 263.2.

1 b. ammunition . . .

6.5 14.3.

126.0 kilo 277.5 lbs

1 s.e.xt.

2.2 4.8.

1 sack

6.0 photog. 13.2

134.2 295.5.

The ground extraordinarily difficult. Absolutely untrafficable sludge-pools encountered today. they consist of broad channels filled with small lumps of ice and snow? Neither sledge nor boat can be moved forward there. In consequence of the place-determination given above the course was altered to S 50 W (to the Seven Islands). It is remarkable that we have travelled so far in lat.i.tude in spite of the wind having been right against us for several days. In consequence of our having come below 82 we have today had a feast with sardines for dinner and a Stauffer-cake for supper. The going today has been good although the road is bad. We a.s.sume that we have gone 3 kilometers (1.8 mile) or possib. 2 minutes . . .

11 August was a regular Tycho Brahe-day [unlucky day]. At once in the morning I came into the water and so did my sledge so that nearly everything became wet through. S. ran in to F.'s sledge and broke the boat with the grapnel. All the sledges turned somersaults repeatedly during the course of the day. Mine was twice turned completely up and down. The going was good but the country terrible . . . A peculiar incident happened on crossing a lead. We stood quite at a loss what to do for the edges of the ice were wretched and the channel so shallow that the boat could not float. Our ordinary methods failed us altogether. Then while we were speaking the ice-floe broke beneath Fraenkel and so we obtained a bit of ice of considerable size and with the a.s.sistance of this piece we then made the crossing quite cleverly. We have not been able to keep the course but have been obliged to go both to the north and to the east but endeavour to go S 50 W. Our distance today probably did not exceed 3.5 km. (2.1 miles).

At 4.30 p.m. our longitude was 30 E. At midday our lat.i.tude was 81 54' 7. F. thought he saw land and it was really so like land that we changed the course in that direction but it was found to be merely a peculiarly shaped large hummock.

13 August 5 p.m. start . . . Tried in vain to get a seal. The ice reasonably good. In a fissure found a little fish which was pretty unafraid and seemed to be astonished at sight of us. I killed him with the shovel . . . Just when we had pa.s.sed the fissure S-g cried 'three bears'. We were at once in motion and full of excited expectation. Warned by our preceding disappointments we now went to work carefully. We concealed ourselves behind a hummock and waited but no bears came. Then I chose myself as a bait and crept forward along the plain whistling softly. The she-bear became attentive, came forward winding me but turned round again and lay down. At last it was too cold for me to lie immovably in the snow and then I called out to the others that we should rush up to the bears. We did so. Then the she-bear came towards me but was met by a shot which missed. I sprang up however and shot again while the bears that were fleeing stopped for a moment, then the she-bear was wounded at a distance of 80 paces but ran a little way whereupon I dropped her on the spot at 94 paces. My 4th shot dropped one cub. Then the third one ran but was wounded by Fraenkel and dropped by Strindberg who had had a longer way to go and so could not come up as quickly as I. There was great joy in the caravan and we cut our bears in pieces with pleasure and loaded our sledges with not less than 42 kilogrammes (138 lbs) i.e., with fresh meat for 23 days. Among the experiences we made with regard to the value of the parts of the bear it may be mentioned that we found the heart, brain and kidneys very palatable. The tongue too is well worth taking. The meat on the ribs is excellent. In the evening I shot an ivory gull. The work of cutting up the bears, etc. gave us so much to do that we did not march much this day. The wind has now swung round to SE so that we hope to drift westwards. Today the weather has been extremely beautiful and that is a good thing for otherwise the work would have been ticklish. When a bear is. .h.i.t he brings out a roar and tries to flee as quick as he can. We have been butchers the whole day.

22 August [. . .] The country today has been terrible and I repeat what I wrote yesterday that we have not previously had such a large district with ice so pressed. There can scarcely be found a couple of square metres (yards) of ice which does not present evident traces of pressure and the entire country consisting of a boundless field of large and small hummocks. One cannot speak of any regularity among them. The leads today have been broken to pieces and the floes small, but in general it has been easy to get across. Now they are so frozen that neither ferrying nor rafting can now be employed. Today a lead changed just when we had come across it (5 minutes later and it would have been impossible) and we had an opportunity of seeing a very powerful pressing. The floes came at a great speed and there was a creaking round about us. It made a strange and magnificent impression. The day has been extremely beautiful. Perhaps the most beautiful we have had. With a specially clear horizon we have again tried to catch sight of Gillis Land but it is impossible to get a glimpse of any part of it. Our course has been S 60 W as on the previous days and the day's march has probably brought us about 3 min. in the direction of our course. The clear air was utilized by S-g to take lunar distances. He saw haloes on the snow . . . Magnificent Venetian landscape with ca.n.a.ls between lofty hummock edges on both sides, water-square with ice-fountain and stairs down to the ca.n.a.ls. Divine. Bear-ham several days old exquisite. I ma.s.saged F.'s foot. He had been pulling so that his knee went out of joint but it slipped in again but he had no bad effects of it. S-g had a pain in one toe, cause still unknown.

29 August [. . .] The ice as before but the leads are still very extensive and broke so that they are very difficult to cross. It now begins to feel cold. We have seen a bear today but unfortunately he went off at a gallop when he saw that he was noticed. S.'s sledge badly broken and we could only just manage to mend it. We come slowly onwards and I imagine we shall have to make a late autumn journey to reach Mossel bay. The ice and the snow on it are becoming as hard as gla.s.s and it is difficult to pull the sledges across it. Today we have tried to go S 45 W as S.'s lunar observations showed that we were rather more to the westward than we had imagined. But to keep a tolerably steady course among the leads is on my word no easy task however. Tonight was the first time I thought of all the lovely things at home. S. and F. on the contrary have long spoken about it. The tent is now always covered with ice inside and the bottom, which is double, feels pretty hard when it is being rolled together. I sweep it clean morning and evening before and after the cooking.

30 August 5 o'cl. p.m. Start. The ice as before and the course too but this was hard to keep for the leads have been difficult to get across. Two Ross' gulls visible. At last we found ourselves on a floe from which we could not come without rafting. As we had not more than 20 min. left of our march-time we determined to pitch our tent and see if the ice possibly moved during the night. Scarcely had we erected the tent before S. cried out 'a bear on top of us'. A bear then stood 10 paces from him. I was lying inside the tent sweeping the floor and so could do nothing but F. who was outside caught hold of a gun and gave the bear a shot that made him turn, badly wounded. To save cartridges he was allowed to run a bit but at last he had to be finished off with 3 more shots. The bear however had managed to get down into a broad lead and rolled himself about there but he could not swim far. I threw a grapnel past him and brought him in to the edge of the ice. This however was so thin that we hardly dared to stand on it but at last I succeeded in putting a noose around his neck and one around a foreleg. S. prised with a boat-hook and so we hauled him up on to the ice pretty easily. The situation was photographed and the bear was cut up. Once more we have 30 kilo (66 lbs) of meat, i.e. meat for 14 days if we calculate 0.9 kilo (2 lbs) each morning and evening and 300 (11 oz) for dinner. These quant.i.ties are carried next to the body so as not to be frozen. Two Ross' gulls visible.

31 August [. . .] The sun touched the horizon at midnight. The landscape on fire. The snow a sea of fire. The country fairly good. We could for the first time over broad new ice. First I crept across on all fours to test if it would hold. Then we went across in several places. One ferrying had to be made. The leads were pa.s.sable but the ice was in lovely movement. It is fine to work the sledges onward through the middle of the crashing ice-pressures round about us. Sometimes a lead closes just when we need it, sometimes it opens suddenly the moment before or after a crossing. I had diarrhoea badly perhaps in consequence of a chill. F.'s sledge badly broken and had to be repaired on the spot. In the evening I took both morphine and opium . . .

3 September [. . .] Today we found ourselves surrounded by broad water-channels of great extent and found ourselves obliged to trust ourselves entirely to the boat. We succeeded in loading everything on it and then rowed for 3 hours at a pretty good pace towards the Seven Islands (our goal). It was with a rather solemn feeling when at 1h 50 o'cl. p.m. we began this new way of travelling gliding slowly over the mirror-like surface of the water between large ice-floes loaded with giant-like hummocks. Only the shriek of ivory gulls and the splashing of the seals when they dived and the short orders of the steersman broke the silence. We knew that we were moving onwards more quickly than usual and at every turn of the leads we asked ourselves in silence if we might not possibly journey on in this glorious way to the end. We called it glorious for the everlasting hauling of the sledges had become tiring I fancy the last few days and it would be a great relief for us to travel some days in another way. But at 5 o'cl. our joy came to an end; we then entered a bay in the ice which immediately afterwards was closed by a floe so that we could go neither onwards nor backwards. We were satisfied however for things had gone well, the boat was excellent and there was room for all our luggage.

9 September [. . .] Our meat supply is beginning to come to an end and we shoot two ivory gulls to supplement it. We do not like to shoot unless we can get at least two ivory gulls at one shot. They are delicate birds but I think they cost a lot of ammunition. For the last few days F. has had a pain in his left foot. I give him ma.s.sage morning and evening and rub on liniment. Today (the 9 in p.m.) I have opened a large pus-blister washed it with sublimate solution and put on a bandage. Now I hope it will heal for it is hard for us to be without F.'s full strength. This is more than needful with our trying work. Our attacks of diarrhoea seem to have stopped. Yesterday I had a motion for the first time for at least 4 days but in spite of that did not notice any diarrhoea. The amount of the excretion was moderate and of normal consistence. F. has frequent motions and the consistence seems to be rather fluid but he does not complain of pains in the stomach and of diarrhoea as he has done almost constantly before . . .

Just now I had to leave off writing in order to fire a shot and drop two ivory gulls. Such birds always gather around our camp. Oh if we could shoot a seal or a bear just now. We need it so much . . . 6 o'cl.

F.'s foot is now so bad that he cannot pull his sledge but can only help by pushing. S. and I take it in turns to go back and bring up F.'s sledge. This tries our strength. We could not manage more than 6 hours' march especially as the country was extremely difficult. Just when we stopped I happened to fall into the water, for an ice-floe which to all appearance and on being tested with the boat-hook seemed to be solid and on which I jumped down proved to consist of nothing but a hard ma.s.s of ice-sludge which went to pieces when I landed on it. I flung myself on my back and floated thus until the others reached me a couple of oars with the help of which I crawled up again . . .

17 September Since I wrote last in my diary much has changed in truth. We laboured onwards with the sledges in the ordinary way but found at last that the new-fallen snow's and character did not allow us to continue quickly enough. F.'s foot which still did not allow him to pull compelled me and S. to go back in turns and pull forward F.'s sledge too. One of S.'s feet was also a little out of order. Our meat was almost at an end and the crossings between the floes became more and more difficult in consequence of the ice-sludge. But above all we found that the current and the wind irresistibly carried us down into the jaws between North East Land and Frans Joseph's Land and that we had not the least chance to reach North East Land. It was during the 12th and 13th Sept. when we were obliged to lie still on account of violent NW wind that we at last discovered the necessity of submitting to the inevitable, i.e. and wintering on the ice . . .

Our first resolution was to work our way across to a neighbouring ice-floe which was bigger and stronger and richer in ice-humps than that on which we were, which was low and small and full of salt.w.a.ter pools, showing that it was composed of small pieces which would probably easily separate in the spring. We came to the new floe by rafting with the boat and soon found a suitable building-plot consisting of a large piece of ice which we hollowed out to some extent. The sides and the parts that were missing we supplied by filling up with blocks of ice and snow over which we threw water and thus made solid and durable. On the 15th we at last succeeded in getting a seal, as I had the luck to put a ball right through its head so that it was killed on the spot and could easily be brought 'ash.o.r.e'.

Every part of the seal tastes very nice (fried). We are especially fond of the meat and the blubber. May we but shoot some score of seals so that we can save ourselves. The bears seem to have disappeared and of other game there are visible only ivory gulls, which, it is true, are not to be despised, but which cost too much ammunition. The ivory gulls come and sit on the roof of the tent. Remarkably enough the fulmars seem to have disappeared and of other birds only a little auk or possibly a young black guillemot have been visible during the last few days. F.'s foot is better now but will hardly be well before a couple of weeks. S.'s feet are also bad. I have made in order a landing-net to catch plankton or anything else that can be found in the water we shall see how it succeeds; a fortunate result of the attempt may I think somewhat improve our difficult position. Our humour is pretty good although joking and smiling are not of ordinary occurrence. My young comrades hold out better than I had ventured to hope. The fact that during the last few days we have drifted towards the south at such a rate contributed essentially I think to keeping up our courage. Our lat.i.tude on the 12 Sept. was 81 21' and on the 15th we had drifted with a strong NW wind down to 80 45'. Longitude in the latter case is I am certain considerably more easterly. Thus our drift in 72 hours amounts to about 2/3 of a degree of lat.i.tude and since then the wind has blown fresh from the same or a more northerly direction. Possibly we may be able to drive far southwards quickly enough and obtain our nourishment from the sea. Perhaps too it will not be so cold on the sea as on the land. He who lives will see. Now it is time to work. The day has been a remarkable one for us by our having seen land today for the first time since 11 July. It is undoubtedly New Iceland that we have had before our eyes . . .

There is no question of our attempting to go on sh.o.r.e for the entire island seems to be one single block of ice with a glacier border. It appears however not to be absolutely inaccessible on the east and west points. We saw a bear under the land and in the water I saw a couple of flocks (of 4) of those 'black guillemot youngsters'. I think a couple of little auks were also visible. The ivory gulls are seen half a score together. On the other hand the water seems to be poor in small animals for dragging gave no result (landing-net). A seal was seen but it was much terrified. We have seen no walrus. Our arrival at New Iceland is remarkable because it points to a colossal drift viz. of more than 1 degree of lat.i.tude since 12 Sept. If we drift in this way some weeks more perhaps we may save ourselves on one of the islands east of Spitzbergen. It makes us feel anxious that we have not more game within shooting-distance. Our provisions must soon and richly be supplemented if we are to have any prospect of being able to hold out for a time.

19 September [. . .] Today S. has been very busy house-building in accordance with a method he has invented. This consists of snow and fresh water being mixed after which the entire ma.s.s is built up into a wall and allowed to freeze. The work is both solid and neat. In a couple of days we shall probably have the baking-oven (i.e., the sleeping room) ready . . . The thickness of the ice of our floe at 'the great cargo-quay' has been measured and found to be 1.41.31.5m (4.64.34.95 ft) . . .

23 September Today all three of us have been working busily on the hut cementing together ice-blocks. We have got on very well and the hut now begins to take form a little. After a couple more days of such weather and work it should not take long until we are able to move in. We can probably carry our supplies in there the day after tomorrow. This is very necessary, as mortar we employ snow mixed with water and of this ma.s.s, which is handled by S. with great skill he is also making a vaulted roof over the last parts between the walls. We have now a very good arrangement of the day with 8 hours' work beginning with 2 hours' work, thereupon breakfast and afterwards work until 4.45 o'cl. when we dine and take supper in one meal. We have now also tried the meat of the great seal and have found that it tastes excellent. One of the very best improvements in the cooking is that of adding blood to the sauce for the steak. This makes it thick and it tastes as if we had bread. I cannot believe but that blood contains much carbohydrate, for our craving for bread is considerably less since we began to use blood in the food. We all think so. We have also found everything eatable both as regards bear, great seal, seal and ivory gull (bear-liver of course excepted). For want of time we have not yet been able to cut up and weigh our animal but I think we now have meat and ham until on in the spring. We must however shoot more so as to be able to have larger rations and to get more fuel and light.

29 September [. . .] Our floe is diminished in a somewhat alarming degree close to our hut. The ice pressings bring the sh.o.r.es closer and closer to us. But we have a large and old hummock between the hut and the sh.o.r.e and hope that this will stop the pressure. This sounds magnificent when there is pressure but otherwise it does not appeal to us.

Thickn. of ice 1.11.21.51.9 (3.63.94.956.27 ft) have been measured by a new fissure which has arisen in our floe. Yesterday evening the 28 we moved into our hut which was christened 'the home'. We lay there last night and found it rather nice. But it will become much better of course. We must have the meat inside to protect ourselves against the bears. The ice in N.I. glacier is evidently stratified in a horizontal direction. The day before yesterday it rained a great part of the day which I suppose ought to be considered extremely remarkable at this time of the year and in this degree of lat.i.tude.

1 October [. . .] The 1 Oct. was a good day. The evening was as divinely beautiful as one could wish. The water was allied with small animals and a bevy of 7 black-white 'guillemots youngsters' were swimming there. A couple of seals were seen too. The work with the hut went on well and we thought that we should have the outside ready by the 2nd. But then something else happened. At 5.30 o'cl. (local time) in the morning of the 2nd we heard a crash and thunder and water streamed into the hut and when rushed out we found that our large beautiful floe had been splintered into a number of little floes and that one fissure had divided the floe just outside the wall of the hut. The floe that remained to us had a diam. of only 24 metre (80 ft) and one wall of the hut might be said rather to hang from the roof than to support it. This was a great alteration in our position and our prospects. The hut and the floe could not give us shelter and still we were obliged to stay there for the present at least. We were frivolous enough to lie in the hut the following night too. Perhaps it was because the day was rather tiring. Our belongings were scattered among several blocks and these were driving here and there so that we had to hurry. Two bear-bodies, representing provisions for 34 months were lying on a separate floe and so on. Luckily the weather was beautiful so that we could work in haste. No one had lost courage; with such comrades one should be able to manage under, I may say, any circ.u.mstances.

The loss of the ice-hut proved a catastrophe that the trio were unable to recover from. Although they landed on White Island on 5 October, they expired several days later, probably from hypothermia.

Irish-born explorer. In 1908 he led a British attempt on the Pole, 90 South.

29 December Yesterday I wrote that we hoped to do fifteen miles today, but such is the variable character of this surface that one cannot prophesy with any certainty an hour ahead. A strong southerly wind, with from 44 to 49 of frost, combined with the effect of short rations, made our distance 12 miles 600 yards instead. We have reached an alt.i.tude of 10,310 ft, and an uphill gradient gave us one of the most severe pulls for ten hours that would be possible. It looks serious, for we must increase the food if we are to get on at all, and we must risk a depot at seventy miles off the Pole and dash for it then. Our sledge is badly strained, and on the abominably bad surface of soft snow is dreadfully hard to move. I have been suffering from a bad headache all day, and Adams also was worried by the cold. I think that these headaches are a form of mountain sickness, due to our high alt.i.tude. The others have bled from the nose, and that must relieve them. Physical effort is always trying at a high alt.i.tude, and we are straining at the harness all day, sometimes slipping in the soft snow that overlies the hard sastrugi. My head is very bad. The sensation is as though the nerves were being twisted up with a corkscrew and then pulled out. Marshall took our temperature tonight, and we are all at about 94, but in spite of this we are getting south. We are only 198 miles off our goal now. If the rise would stop the cold would not matter, but it is hard to know what is man's limit. We have only 150 lb per man to pull, but it is more severe work than the 250 lb per man up the glacier was. The Pole is hard to get.

30 December We only did 4 miles 100 yards today. We started at 7 a.m., but had to camp at 11 a.m., a blizzard springing up from the south. It is more than annoying. I cannot express my feelings. We were pulling at last on a level surface, but very soft snow, when at about 10 a.m. the south wind and drift commenced to increase, and at 11 a.m. it was so bad that we had to camp. And here all day we have been lying in our sleeping-bags trying to keep warm and listening to the threshing drift on the tent-side. I am in the cooking-tent, and the wind comes through, it is so thin. Our precious food is going and the time also, and it is so important to us to get on. We lie here and think of how to make things better, but we cannot reduce food now, and the only thing will be to rush all possible at the end. We will do and are doing all humanly possible. It is with Providence to help us.

31 December The last day of the old year, and the hardest day we have had almost, pushing through soft snow uphill with a strong head wind and drift all day. The temperature is minus 7 Fahr., and our alt.i.tude is 10,477 ft above sea-level. The alt.i.tude is trying. My head has been very bad all day, and we are all feeling the short food, but still we are getting south. We are in lat.i.tude 86 54' South tonight, but we have only three weeks' food and two weeks' biscuit to do nearly 500 geographical miles. We can only do our best. Too tired to write more tonight. We all get iced-up about our faces, and are on the verge of frostbite all the time. Please G.o.d the weather will be fine during the next fourteen days. Then all will be well. The distance today was eleven miles.

NOTE If we had only known that we were going to get such cold weather as we were at this time experiencing, we would have kept a pair of scissors to trim our beards. The moisture from the condensation of one's breath acc.u.mulated on the beard and trickled down on to the Burberry blouse. Then it froze into a sheet of ice inside, and it became very painful to pull the Burberry off in camp. Little troubles of this sort would have seemed less serious to us if we had been able to get a decent feed at the end of the day's work, but we were very hungry. We thought of food most of the time. The chocolate certainly seemed better than the cheese, because the two spoonfuls of cheese per man allowed under our scale of diet would not last as long as the two sticks of chocolate. We did not have both at the same meal. We had the bad luck at this time to strike a tin in which the biscuits were thin and overbaked. Under ordinary circ.u.mstances they would probably have tasted rather better than the other biscuits, but we wanted bulk. We soaked them in our tea so that they would swell up and appear larger, but if one soaked a biscuit too much, the sensation of biting something was lost, and the food seemed to disappear much too easily.

1 January 1909 Head too bad to write much. We did 11 miles 900 yards (statute) today, and the lat.i.tude at 6 p.m. was 87 6' South, so we have beaten North and South records. Struggling uphill all day in very soft snow. Everyone done up and weak from want of food. When we camped at 6 p.m. fine warm weather, thank G.o.d. Only 172 miles from the Pole. The height above sea-level, now 10,755 ft, makes all work difficult. Surface seems to be better ahead. I do trust it will be so tomorrow.

2 January Terribly hard work today. We started at 6.45 a.m. with a fairly good surface, which soon became very soft. We were sinking in over our ankles, and our broken sledge, by running sideways, added to the drag. We have been going uphill all day, and tonight are 11,034 ft above sea-level. It has taken us all day to do 10 miles 450 yards, though the weights are fairly light. A cold wind, with a temperature of minus 14 Fahr., goes right through us now, as we are weakening from want of food, and the high alt.i.tude makes every movement an effort, especially if we stumble on the march. My head is giving me trouble all the time. Wild seems the most fit of us. G.o.d knows we are doing all we can, but the outlook is serious if this surface continues and the plateau gets higher, for we are not travelling fast enough to make our food spin out and get back to our depot in time. I cannot think of failure yet. I must look at the matter sensibly and consider the lives of those who are with me. I feel that if we go on too far it will be impossible to get back over this surface, and then all the results will be lost to the world. We can now definitely locate the South Pole on the highest plateau in the world, and our geological work and meteorology will be of the greatest use to science; but all this is not the Pole. Man can only do his best, and we have arrayed against us the strongest forces of nature. This cutting south wind with drift plays the mischief with us, and after ten hours of struggling against it one pannikin of food with two biscuits and a cup of cocoa does not warm one up much. I must think over the situation carefully tomorrow, for time is going on and food is going also.

3 January Started at 6.55 a.m., cloudy but fairly warm. The temperature was minus 8 Fahr. at noon. We had a terrible surface all the morning, and did only 5 miles 100 yards. A meridian alt.i.tude gave us lat.i.tude 87 22' South at noon. The surface was better in the afternoon, and we did six geographical miles. The temperature at 6 p.m. was minus 11 Fahr. It was an uphill pull towards the evening, and we camped at 6.20 p.m., the alt.i.tude being 11,220 ft above the sea. Tomorrow we must risk making a depot on the plateau, and make a dash for it, but even then, if this surface continues, we will be two weeks in carrying it through.

4 January The end is in sight. We can only go for three more days at the most, for we are weakening rapidly. Short food and a blizzard wind from the south, with driving drift, at a temperature of 47 of frost, have plainly told us today that we are reaching our limit, for we were so done up at noon with cold that the clinical thermometer failed to register the temperature of three of us at 94. We started at 7.40 a.m., leaving a depot on this great wide plateau, a risk that only this case justified, and one that my comrades agreed to, as they have to every one so far, with the same cheerfulness and regardlessness of self that have been the means of our getting as far as we have done so far. Pathetically small looked the bamboo, one of the tent poles, with a bit of bag sewn on as a flag, to mark our stock of provisions, which has to take us back to our depot, one hundred and fifty miles north. We lost sight of it in half an hour, and are now trusting to our footprints in the snow to guide us back to each bamboo until we pick up the depot again. I trust that the weather will keep clear. Today we have done 12 geographical miles, and with only 70 lb per man to pull it is as hard, even harder, work than the 100 odd lb was yesterday, and far harder than the 250 lb. were three weeks ago, when we were climbing the glacier. This, I consider, is a clear indication of our failing strength. The main thing against us is the alt.i.tude of 11,200 ft and the biting wind. Our faces are cut, and our feet and hands are always on the verge of frostbite. Our fingers, indeed, often go, but we get them round more or less. I have great trouble with two fingers on my left hand. They had been badly jammed when we were getting the motor up over the ice face at winter quarters, and the circulation is not good. Our boots now are pretty well worn out, and we have to halt at times to pick the snow out of the soles. Our stock of sennegra.s.s is nearly exhausted, so we have to use the same frozen stuff day after day. Another trouble is that the lamp-wick with which we tie the finnesko is chafed through, and we have to tie knots in it. These knots catch the snow under our feet, making a lump that has to be cleared every now and then. I am of the opinion that to sledge even in the height of summer on this plateau, we should have at least forty ounces of food a day per man, and we are on short rations of the ordinary allowance of thirty-two ounces. We depoted our extra underclothing to save weight about three weeks ago, and are now in the same clothes night and day. One suit of underclothing, shirt and guernsey, and our thin Burberries, now all patched. When we get up in the morning, out of the wet bag, our Burberries become like a coat of mail at once, and our heads and beards get iced-up with the moisture when breathing on the march. There is half a gale blowing dead in our teeth all the time. We hope to reach within 100 geographical miles of the Pole; under the circ.u.mstances we can expect to do very little more. I am confident that the Pole lies on the great plateau we have discovered, miles and miles from any outstanding land. The temperature tonight is minus 24 Fahr.

5 January Today head wind and drift again, with 50 of frost, and a terrible surface. We have been marching through 8 in of snow, covering sharp sastrugi, which plays havoc with our feet, but we have done 13 1/3 geographical miles, for we increased our food, seeing that it was absolutely necessary to do this to enable us to accomplish anything. I realise that the food we have been having has not been sufficient to keep up our strength, let alone supply the wastage caused by exertion, and now we must try to keep warmth in us, though our strength is being used up. Our temperatures at 5 a.m. were 94 Fahr. We got away at 7 a.m. sharp and marched till noon, then from 1 p.m. sharp till 6 p.m. All being in one tent makes our campwork slower, for we are so cramped for room, and we get up at 4.40 a.m. so as to get away by 7 a.m. Two of us have to stand outside the tent at night until things are squared up inside, and we find it cold work. Hunger grips us hard, and the food supply is very small. My head still gives me great trouble. I began by wishing that my worst enemy had it instead of myself, but now I don't wish even my worst enemy to have such a headache; still, it is no use talking about it. Self is a subject that most of us are fluent on. We find the utmost difficulty in carrying through the day, and we can only go for two or three more days. Never once had the temperature been above zero since we got on to the plateau, though this is the height of summer. We have done our best, and we thank G.o.d for having allowed us to get so far.

6 January This must be our last outward march with the sledge and camp equipment. Tomorrow we must leave camp with some food, and push as far south as possible, and then plant the flag. Today's story is 57 of frost, with a strong blizzard and high drift; yet we marched 13 geographical miles through soft snow, being helped by extra food. This does not mean full rations, but a bigger ration than we have been having lately. The pony maize is all finished. The most trying day we have yet spent, our fingers and faces being frost-bitten continually. Tomorrow we will rush south with the flag. We are at 88 7' South tonight. It is our last outward march. Blowing hard tonight. I would fail to explain my feelings if I tried to write them down, now that the end has come. There is only one thing that lightens the disappointment, and that is the feeling that we have done all we could. It is the forces of nature that have prevented us from going right through. I cannot write more.