Survival Of Love Part 7

"What's wrong?" Jody asked, glancing at the clock on the mantel. It read twelve-seventeen.

"You'll laugh, or worse, think I'm being silly."

"Try me."

"I miss you."

A smile crossed Jody's face. "That's pretty amazing. I was just sitting here thinking the same thing."

"Yeah, right. You were probably sound asleep."

"You know we older people actually require less sleep."

"Don't talk like that. You aren't old."

"I'm no spring chicken, but I have to admit, when I'm talking to you, I feel much younger."

"Good. Then you'll have to keep talking to me."

Jody laughed and asked, "How is Midland?"

This time Ellen's sigh wasn't so subtle. "Don't ask. Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing this."

"I thought you enjoyed your work."

"I don't know. When I first started this job, I justified the layoffs and cutbacks by telling myself that in the long run we were helping people. Sure, a few people lost their jobs and I felt bad for them, but the majority kept working and were able to do so for a healthier company. I felt our recommendations help put the company in a better position to compete."

"What changed your mind?"

"I came to Midland to do a twelve-month follow-up on an evaluation that my predecessor did. It's one of the stipulations in our contract. The company took my predecessor's advice to cut the work force by three percent, but on its own, it also cut the salaries of the remaining workers by six percent. There was no need to do that. They got greedy and used our evaluation as an excuse to screw their employees."

"Businesses are hurting everywhere."

"They weren't hurting that bad. The CEO still managed to take home over a million dollars last year."

Jody hesitated, not knowing what to say to make Ellen feel better.

"I walked through a few of the offices to interview some of the remaining workers and, Jody, they hated me. I tried to explain that I wasn't there to reevaluate their jobs, but simply as a follow-up. They didn't believe me."

"Explain to them that their company went beyond your recommendations."

"I can't. It would violate our contract. We aren't allowed to disclose any of our findings to employees."

Jody kept silent. There was nothing she could say. Ellen was still young. She hadn't yet become completely jaded with the real world.

"I'm sorry," Ellen said. "I didn't call you to cry on your shoulder about work. I missed you and wanted to talk to you. Tell me about your day."

Jody hesitated. "Actually it was kind of rough. I feel like I'm lying to your mom. It made things awkward. Are you sure we aren't making a horrendous mistake?" She hadn't planned to blurt out that last bit; it just happened.

It was Ellen's turn to be silent.

Jody was beginning to fidget before Ellen finally spoke. "Mom isn't going to be happy when she finds out about us. But it's not just because it's you. She would be upset no matter who I got involved with. You know how possessive she is."

"She's trying not to be," Jody said, feeling as though she'd betrayed Denise's trust. She was certain Denise had trusted her not to reveal confidences. "She cares for you."

They both fell silent.

After several seconds, Jody said, "We're getting ourselves all worked up for nothing. After all, we're only dating. It's not like we're renting a U-Haul or adopting children together."

"Not yet," Ellen replied calmly. "I normally date someone six to eight months before moving in, and I never discuss adoption until we've been together two or three years. Of course, with you I might make an exception."

Jody laughed and braced for the heart-pounding, shallow-breathing, palm-sweating reaction that always occurred whenever a girlfriend started talking, even in jest, about moving in. Strangely, none of these things happened. She chalked it up to exhaustion.

"You can start breathing again," Ellen said. "I was joking."

"I know." Still, she remembered Ellen's ex-girlfriend who continued to call her on the cell. "Are you still hearing from..." She struggled to recall the name. "Beth?"

"Yes, it took her a while but she finally managed to get my work number somehow. I had messages on my voice mail at work. I delete them. I don't bother to call her back and try to explain it's over. She doesn't listen."

"You don't seem to be worried about it, so I a.s.sume she's not the stalking type."

"Beth? No. She's actually a sweet person most of the time, but she clings to the point of suffocating. I think she'll keep calling for a few more days, but she'll meet someone soon enough. She won't have any trouble finding someone else. With the distance between Texas and California, she'll lose interest."

"So, your primary reason for returning to San Antonio has worked?"

"No. The primary reason I came back to Texas was because I kept thinking about you, and I had to get you out of my system once and for all."

A trickle of disappointment wormed its way through Jody. "Have you gotten me out of your system?"

"Quite the opposite. You're more embedded than ever. Now, I walk down a hallway and pa.s.s by some woman wearing your perfume and I get weak in the knees. I hear a funny story and I want to call you and tell it to you. Love songs that used to disgust me with their mushiness have taken on a whole new meaning." She stopped and laughed. "Who's being codependent now?" she asked.

"I don't think that qualifies. I believe those symptoms result from a bite of the infamous love bug."

"I see. Do you think this wily little insect could ever penetrate that thick wall of armor around your heart?"

Jody hesitated. The phone grew slippery in her hand. She quickly switched the phone to her other hand and dried her palm on her T-shirt. It would be easy to blurt out a simple yes, but it was important that she not let herself become infatuated by the idea of falling in love. She had to maintain rationality about this relationship with Ellen. She said slowly, "I care for you a great deal. I believe I could fall in love with you."

Jody could almost feel Ellen's disappointment seeping though the phone line.

"I want to be honest with you, Ellen. I don't want to hurt you or mislead you."

"Why is it so hard for you to let yourself trust your feelings?"

"I trust my feelings." Jody leapt from the chair and began pacing.

"Tell me about Mia. I only know the bare bones that you and Mom told me."

"What's to tell? She met someone else and moved on."

"And you haven't trusted anyone since."

"It's too late at night for all this melodrama. She moved on and so did I. There's nothing else to say."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I had no right to judge your feelings or reactions."

Jody returned to the recliner and sat down. "No. I'm the one who's sorry. As you can tell from my reaction, I still have some issues with Mia's leaving." Without warning, Jody yawned. She tried to stifle it, but Ellen heard her.

"I'm keeping you up," Ellen said. "I should let you go back to sleep."

Jody found she didn't want to stop talking to Ellen. All the more reason to do so, she thought.

"I probably won't get a chance to call tomorrow. I'll be busy compiling my data. I'll see you Wednesday."

"Good night," Jody replied, and wished she had the courage to ask Ellen not to hang up.

"Sweet dreams."

Before Jody could respond, Ellen had hung up. Jody held the silent phone and looked around her living room. Why did it suddenly seem so empty and so lonely?

"This is crazy," she said as she set down the phone. "This is what happens when you drink beer in the middle of the night." She took the beer bottle to the kitchen. "The next thing I know, I'll be listening to country music and pulling out old photos."

She headed for her bedroom. This is precisely why you don't get too involved, she thought. All she needed was a good night's sleep. Tomorrow she'd tell Denise that she agreed with her idea for expanding the shop, and Wednesday she'd tell Ellen she didn't want to see her anymore.

Renovating the shop would keep her too busy to worry about girlfriends. Maybe she'd stop dating altogether. She could convert to Catholicism and become a nun. "Great. Then I'd be surrounded by women." She gave up trying to figure it all out, and crawled between the rumpled sheets.

Despite her determination, sleep was slow in coming. When she finally drifted off, vague images of Mia, Lauren and Ellen danced into her dreams.

When the alarm finally rescued her, Jody came fully awake, confused and terrified. She might never say the words aloud, and she might be able to keep the truth from Ellen, but she couldn't lie to herself. Jody Scott the proclaimed queen of love-'em and leave-'em had been sucked into the relationship pit. She closed her eyes and moaned. How had she allowed this to happen? How was she going to tell Denise that she was falling in love with her daughter?

Chapter Ten.

By Wednesday evening, Jody was a nervous wreck.

The hectic rush of the upcoming holiday had become her saving grace. The shop was a madhouse. The phone rang all day with orders for Mother's Day. Even the deliveries to the hospitals increased, but no matter how tired Jody was, Ellen continued to creep into her thoughts and dreams.

When she wasn't in the delivery van running around the city, she answered phones, waited on walk-in customers or helped Denise prepare the arrangements.

Exhausted from working another fifteen-hour day on Tuesday, Jody and Denise had neither the time nor energy for normal conversation. They had been so busy, Jody hadn't even had a chance to talk to Denise about expanding the shop. She finally decided the conversation would have to wait until after Mother's Day.

Ellen called the shop shortly after five on Wednesday afternoon. Jody, just in from a third round of deliveries, answered the phone in the showroom.

"I just got back. I'm off the rest of the day," Ellen said. "Can you get away?"

Jody hesitated. Now was the time. She should tell Ellen no and call off the dinner plans. She could plead exhaustion. She had opened the shop at six that morning in order to change the air conditioner filters and wipe down the insides of the coolers. Denise would never question the change in plans. On the other hand, they were almost caught up with the orders for tomorrow, and she could come in early again tomorrow to finish them off as well as any orders that might come in during the night. People often left orders on the shop's voice mail. She found herself agreeing. "I'll be home in twenty minutes."

"I've missed you so much."

Unsure whether Denise could hear her on the phone, Jody said, "I'll see you soon," and hung up.

In the workroom Denise was wiping off her worktable. "Thank goodness. I just finished the last of the orders for tomorrow," she said.

Jody breathed a sigh of relief. At least her leaving early wouldn't throw them behind. "I think I'm going to run on home. I want to stop by the store and pick up a few things for tonight," Jody lied. She had everything she needed for the dinner, but she couldn't very well tell Denise she wanted to leave early to see Ellen.

Denise looked up, surprised. "All right. I can close up."

"I'll see you at eight then." Jody turned to leave.

"Jody, I've been meaning to ask. Is everything okay? You've been rather quiet the last few days."

"Yeah, everything's fine. We've been so busy, and I have a couple of things on my mind."

"Does this have anything to do with your breakup with Sharon?" Denise put down the cleaning rag and gazed at her.

Jody's heart pounded. "No, I'm fine with that. I'm kind of getting involved with someone else, and it's not going as smoothly as I'd like," she said and instantly regretted her choice of words. How could Denise ever approve of Ellen's getting involved with her? No mother would want to see her daughter get involved with someone with a track record like hers.

Denise shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you could find what you're searching for."

"What would you say if I told you I thought I might be falling in love?"

Denise gave her a tired smile. "I'd say it was about time, and whoever you fall in love with will be a lucky woman." She shook her head. "Jody, I don't care how hard you pretend to be beyond Cupid's reach, at heart you're a big old softy. Honey, you're a born romantic, pure and simple." Denise came over and gave her a quick hug. "You have so much love to give. You deserve someone who'll love you in return."

Tears sprang to Jody's eyes. She quickly turned away and blinked the tears back. If she started crying now, as tired and confused as she was, she would go on a crying jag that would rival Niagara Falls.

She tried to speak, but the words got stuck in her throat. She attempted to swallow the pain lodged in her throat, but it refused to budge. She coughed and forced herself to say, "I hope you truly mean that." Her voice sounded thin and strained.

"Of course I do. You're like a sister to me, sweetie. Who you fall in love with won't change my love for you."

Jody grabbed her backpack to escape. If they continued to talk, she would tell Denise everything. Instead she changed the subject. "I think you should go ahead and talk to Mrs. Jimenez about us possibly purchasing the card shop. You're right. It makes more sense to expand rather than splitting up our resources."

Before Denise could respond, Jody rushed out the door.

Safely enclosed in her Jeep and trapped in rush-hour traffic, Jody slowly allowed herself to admit she wasn't going to end the relationship with Ellen. She wanted a chance to see how far they could take it.

She refused, however, to allow herself the luxury of envisioning a future with Ellen.

They would take it day by day, and see if the relationship survived. Denise would be fine as long as Ellen was happy. She'd have doubts at first, but when she saw they were happy together, she'd come around.

With a new sense of determination, Jody gripped the steering wheel and inched the Jeep forward.

"We'll take everything slow. We'll give Denise time to see that we care for each other. When she sees I'm not playing games, she'll be supportive," Jody said aloud. Denise even said it wouldn't matter whom she fell in love with.

But she didn't know you were talking about Ellen, her conscience nagged.