Studies in the Psychology of Sex Volume Ii Part 29

"As far as I have been able to judge, there is not necessarily any attraction for physical characteristics, as beauty, elegance, etc.; the two partic.i.p.ants are probably both of strong character or a weak character raves on a stronger, but rarely vice versa.

"I have often noticed that the same person may be raved on at different times by several people of different characters and of all ages: say, up to 30 years of age. It is hard to say why some persons more than others should inspire this feeling. Often they are reserved, without any particular physical attraction, and often despising raving and emotional friendships, and give no encouragement to them. That the majority of 'raves' have a s.e.xual basis may be true, but I am sure that in the majority of cases where young girls are concerned this is not in the least recognized, and no impurity is indulged in or wished for. The majority of the girls are entirely ignorant of all s.e.xual matters, and understand nothing whatever about them. But they do wonder about them and talk about them constantly, more especially when they have a 'rave,' which seems to point to some subtle connection between the two. That this ignorance exists is largely to be deplored. The subject, if once thought of, is always thought of and talked of, and information is at length generally gained in a regrettable manner. From personal experience I know the evil results that this ignorance and constant endeavoring to find out everything has on the mind and bodies of school-girls. If children had the natural and simple laws of creation carefully explained to them by their parents, much harm would be prevented, and the conversation would not always turn on s.e.xual matters. The Bible is often consulted for the discovery of hidden mysteries.

"'Raves' on teachers are far commoner than between two girls. In this case the girl makes no secret of her attachment, constantly talking of it and describing her feelings to any who care to listen and writing long letters to her friends about the same. In the case of two girls there is more likely to be a s.e.xual element, great pleasure being taken in close contact with one another and frequent kissing and hugging. When parted, long letters are written, often daily; they are full of affectionate expressions of love, etc., but there is also a frequent reference to the happiness and desire to do well that their love has inspired them with, while often very deeply religious feelings appear to be generated and many good resolutions are made. Their various emotional feelings are described in every minute detail to each other.

"The duration of 'raves' varies. I have known them to last three or four years, more often only a few months. Occasionally what began as a 'rave' will turn, into a sensible firm friendship. I imagine that there is seldom any actual inversion, and on growing up the 'raves' generally cease. That the 'ravers' feel and act like a pair of lovers there is no doubt, and the majority put down these romantic friendships for their own s.e.x as due, in a great extent, in the case of girls at schools, to being without the society of the opposite s.e.x. This may be true in some cases, but personally I think the question open to discussion. These friendships are often found among girls who have left school and have every liberty, even among girls who have had numerous flirtations with the opposite s.e.x, who cannot be accused of inversion, and who have all the feminine and domestic characteristics.

"In ill.u.s.tration of these points I may bring forward the following case: A. and B. were two girls at the same college. They belonged to different cliques, or sets; occupied different bedrooms; never met in their school-work, and were practically only known to one another by name. One day they chanced to sit next to one another at some meal. They both already had 'raves,' A. on an actor she had lately seen, B. on a married woman at her home. The conversation happened to turn on 'raves,' and mutual attraction was suddenly felt. From that moment a new interest came into their lives. They lived for one another. At the time A. was 14, B. a year older. Both were somewhat precocious for their age, were practical, with plenty of common sense, very keen on games, interested in their lessons, and very independent, but at the same time with marked feminine characteristics and popular with the opposite s.e.x. After the first feeling of interest there was a subtle excitement and desire to meet again. All their thoughts were occupied with the subject. Each day they managed as many private meetings as possible. They met in the pa.s.sages in order to say good-night with many embraces. As far as possible they hid their feelings from the rest of their world. They became inseparable, and a very lasting and real, but somewhat emotional, affection, in which the s.e.xual element was certainly marked, sprang up between them. Although at the time they were both quite ignorant of s.e.xual matters, yet they indulged their s.e.xual instincts to some extent. They felt surcharged with hitherto unexperienced feelings and emotions, instinct urged them to let these have play, but instinctively they also had a feeling that to do so would be wrong. This feeling they endeavored to argue out and find reasons for. When parted for any length of time they felt very miserable and wrote pages to one another every day, pouring forth in writing their feelings for one another. In this time of active attraction they both became deeply religious for a time. The active part of the affection continued for three or four years, and now, after an interval of ten years, they are both exceedingly fond of one another, although their paths in life are divided and each has since experienced love for a man. Both look back upon the s.e.xual element in their friendship with some interest. It may be remarked in pa.s.sing that A. and B. are both attractive girls to men and women, and B. especially appears always to have roused 'rave' feelings in her own s.e.x, without the slightest encouragement on her part. The duration of this 'rave' was exceptionally long, the majority only lasting a few months, while some girls have one 'rave' after another or two or three together.

"I may mention one other case, where I believe that if it a s.e.xual basis this was not recognized by the parties concerned or their friends. Two girls, over 20 years of age, pa.s.sed in a corridor. A few words were exchanged: the beginning of a very warm and fast friendship. They said it was not a 'rave.' They were absolutely devoted to one another, but from what I know of them and what they have since told me, their feelings were quite free from any s.e.xual desires, though their love for one another was great. When parted they exchanged letters daily, but were always endeavoring to urge one another on in all the virtues, and as far as I can gather they never gave way to any feeling they thought was not for the good of their souls.

"Letters and presents are exchanged, vows of eternal love are made, quarrels are engaged in for the mere pleasure of reconciliation, and jealousy is easily manifested. Although 'raves' are chiefly found among school-girls, they are by no means confined to them, but are common among any community of women of any age, say, under 30, and are not unknown among married women when there is no inversion. In these oases there is usually, of course, no ignorance of s.e.xual matters.

"Whether there is any direct harm in these friendships I have not been able to make up my mind. In the case of school-girls, if there is not too much emotion generated and if the s.e.xual feelings are not indulged in, I think they may do more good than harm. Later on in life, when all one's desires and feelings are at their strongest, it is more doubtful."

III.

That the phenomena as found in the girls' colleges of America are exactly similar to those in Italy and England is shown, among other evidence, by some communications sent to Mr. E. G. Lancaster, of Clark University, Worcester, Ma.s.s., a few years ago.

Mr. E. G. Lancaster sent out a questionnaire to over 800 teachers and older pupils dealing with various points connected with adolescence, and received answers from 91 persons containing information which bore on the present question.[279] Of this number, 28 male and 41 female had been in love before the age of 25, while 11 of each s.e.x had had no love experiences, this indicating, since the women were in a majority, that the absence of love experience is more common in men than in women. These answers were from young people between 16 and 25 years of age. Two males and 7 females have loved imaginary characters, while 3 males and not less than 46 females speak of pa.s.sionate love for the same s.e.x. Love of the same s.e.x, Lancaster remarks, though not generally known, is very common; it is not mere friendship; the love is strong, real, and pa.s.sionate. It may be remarked that these 49 cases were reported without solicitation, since there was no reference to h.o.m.os.e.xual love in the questionnaire. Many of the answers to the syllabus are so beautiful, Lancaster observes, that if they could be printed in full no comment would be necessary. He quotes a few of the answers. Thus a woman of 33 writes: "At 14 I had my first case of love, but it was with a girl. It was insane, intense love, but had the same quality and sensations as my first love with a man at 18. In neither case was the object idealized. I was perfectly aware of their faults; nevertheless my whole being was lost, immersed in their existence. The first lasted two years, the second seven years. No love has since been so intense, but now these persons, though living, are no more to me than the veriest stranger." Another woman of 35 writes: "Girls between the ages of 14 and 18 at college or girls' schools often fall in love with the same s.e.x. This is not friendship. The loved one is older, more advanced, more charming or beautiful. When I was a freshman in college I knew at least thirty girls who were in love with a senior. Some sought her because it was the fashion, but I knew that my own homage and that of many others was sincere and pa.s.sionate. I loved her because she was brilliant and utterly indifferent to the love shown her. She was not pretty, though at the time we thought her beautiful. One of her adorers, on being slighted, was ill for two weeks. On her return she was speaking to me when the object of our admiration came into the room. The shock was too great and she fainted. When I reached the senior year I was the recipient of languishing glances, original verses, roses, and pa.s.sionate letters written at midnight and three in the morning." No similar confessions are recorded from men.

IV.

In South America corresponding phenomena have been found in schools and colleges of the same cla.s.s. There they have been especially studied by Mercante in the convent High Schools of Buenos Aires where the students are girls between the ages of 10 and 22.[280] Mercante found that h.o.m.os.e.xuality here is not clearly defined or explicit and usually it is combined with a predisposition to romanticism and mysticism. It is usually of a pa.s.sive kind, but in this form so widespread as to const.i.tute a kind of epidemic. It was most manifest in inst.i.tutions where the greatest stress was placed on religious instruction.

The recreations of the school in question were quiet and enervating; active or boisterous sports were prohibited to the end that good manners might be cultivated. In the play-rooms, the girls observed the strictest etiquette, and discipline was maintained independent of oversight by teachers. Mercante could hardly believe, however, that the decorum was more than external.

Later, when the girls broke up, they were found in pairs or small groups, in corners, on benches, beside the pillars, arm in arm or holding hands. What they were speaking of could be surmised. "Their conversation and confidences came to me indirectly. They were sweethearts talking about their affairs. In spite of the spiritual and feminine character of these unions, one element was active, the other pa.s.sive, thus confirming the authorities on this matter, Gamier, Regis, Lombroso, Bonfigli."

Mercante found the points of view of the two members of each pair to be quite different in moral aspect. "One takes the initiative, she commands, she cares for, she offers, she gives, she makes decisions, she considers the present, she imagines the future, she smoothes over difficulties, gives encouragement and initiative, she commands, she cares for, she offers, she gives, she docile, gives way in matters of dispute, and expresses her affection with sweet words and promises of love and submission. The atmosphere, silent and quiet, was, however, charged with jealousy, squabble, desires, illusions, dreams, and lamentations."

Mercante's informant a.s.sured him that practically every girl had her affinity, and that there were at least twenty well-defined love affairs. The active party starts the conquest by making eyes, next she becomes more intimate, and finally proposes. Women being highly adaptable, the neophyte, unless she is rebellious, gets into the spirit of it all. If she is not complaisant, she must prepare for conflict, because the prey becomes more desirable the more the resistance encountered.

Opportunity was offered to Mercante to observe some of the correspondence between the girls. Though of indifferent training and ability in other respects, the girls speak and write regarding their affairs with most admirable diction and style. No data are given regarding the actual intimate relations between the girls.

[279]

E. G. Lancaster, "The Psychology and Pedagogy of Adolescence," Pedagogical Seminary, July, 1897, p. 88.

[280]

Victor Mercante, "Fetiquismo y Uranismo feminino en los internados educativos," Archivos de Psiquiatria y Criminologia, 1905, pp. 22-30; abstracted by D. C. McMurtrie, Urologic Review, August, 1914.