Still Thinking Of You Part 27

She really had drunk too much last night. Why else would she have become so disgruntled that Rich had called her stupid? Of course he didn't mean that he really thought she was stupid. And how had she got it into her head that there was something going on between him and Mia? She had no evidence. No reason to suspect him of anything untoward. And, if Mia did have the hots for him, it was hardly his fault. It was possible that he was oblivious. She was embarra.s.sed that she'd stormed out of the bar like that. She wished she hadn't said so much to Lloyd. It was disloyal. Although chances were he wouldn't remember. He'd drunk more than she had. And even if he did remember, Tash was pretty sure she could trust him to be a confidant.

She'd hoped that Rich would follow her. How drama queen was that? She'd behaved like a stroppy teenager walking out of a school-hall disco in a huff, expecting her puppy-dog boyfriend to hurry after her. Of course it wasn't like that at their ages. If you walked out on someone, they respected your right to do so. They believed that you could judge your own need to be alone, and they would not come chasing after you.

More is the pity.

b.u.g.g.e.r. She felt foolish.

Rich had stumbled into their room at about 3 a.m. She'd pretended to be asleep because she didn't want to What?

Argue with him?

Or talk to him?

That was so daft. They'd apologized to one another this morning. They both admitted that they didn't know where the row had come from. They'd both agreed that they'd probably had too much to drink and that they should probably have a night off the booze tonight. There hadn't been time to make love, which Tash would have found rea.s.suring, as Rich spent ages in the bathroom. Probably very hung over, he'd let the shower run and run for ever.

Rich had declined breakfast, saying that he'd meet her later to board. Tash felt edgy. Of course, it was unrealistic, childish even, to expect to have a relationship where there were never any rows. Still, a little bit of her had daydreamed that, when she met her soul mate (and Rich was definitely that), she would have a relationship where there were no rows. Tash didn't believe that they had truly made up. She believed that they had settled into a wary, grudging truce. It was inadequate.

She needed more food. This hangover was ravenous. Tash eased the lid off another enormous stainless-steel cauldron, only to immediately drop it again in her hurry to block out the smell of scrambled egg. Instead she picked up a yoghurt and a bunch of grapes.

By contrast, Jayne was gliding through her hangover. If all things were equal, she would have a fuzzy tongue and furry teeth. Her breath would smell as bad as the boys' rooms, but her breath smelt of Listerine, not an old beer keg. Her eyelids did not need to be stapled to the back of her eye sockets to remain open, and she had full control over her hands and feet. Neither her coordination nor her circulation had been drowned or pickled. She felt fully awake and alive. She was always more sparkly, more sensational, in Rich's company, and this morning she felt particularly bright, exhilarated, vital. Victory was within her grasp. She could almost smell her success.

They had danced all night.

Jason and Kiki were there, too, but only in matter, not in spirit. In spirit, Jayne and Rich had danced alone. Initially they had both danced quite conservatively. Jayne, in particular, knew how important it was not to look as though you were having too much fun on the dance floor; it was hardly cool. Instead she swayed gently to all the tracks, irrespective of whether it was a pop ballad or a rough, modern, urban beat playing. She allowed her jutting hip to occasionally bang against Rich. In the beginning it was clear that Rich was uncomfortable. Jayne wondered if he was going to turn out to be a good dancer after all. In all their time together they hadn't been out to a club, so she didn't know for sure, but she'd always a.s.sumed that he would be good. What type of music did he like to dance to? She knew he liked Nina Simone playing when he was having s.e.x, but she didn't know that he listened to Linkin Park when he was driving his car and that he always played House of Pain's 'Spin around' as his 'get-them-on-the-floor' track at parties. Jayne had never been invited to one of Rich's many parties.

The more Rich drank, the more relaxed he became. Jayne noted with an indulgent sigh that he was in this way the epitome of an Englishman. By 2 p.m. neither of them was particularly worried about whether they looked cool or not, which was a good thing because they did not. Both had drunk more units than they could count. Quite a feat, as Jayne had a first-cla.s.s degree in mathematics. The music playing was uninspirational Euro-trash, without distinguishable beat or lyric or melody. The only possible response was to manically thrash their bodies and flay their limbs as they bounced around the floor. The dance floor was heaving. It seemed to sway and sink with the weight of the boisterous partying crowds. Girls climbed on their boyfriends' shoulders and screamed with fake terror and true excitement as their boyfriends bowed and buckled beneath their weight. It seemed that n.o.body could stay upright. Countless people b.u.mped and banged and knocked into each other. Jayne didn't really like the sweaty bodies pushed up against hers who was a fan of strangers' sweat? But she envied the beads of sweat that slid down Rich's torso.

He'd kissed her. Not her kissing him and him half-heartedly responding. Not an uncertain kiss or even a tentative kiss. He'd kissed her with pa.s.sion, purpose and eagerness. He'd walked her back to her room and he'd lingered outside the door. She opened the door and flashed her eyes from him to her bed and back to him. He'd moaned quietly, then hooked her head in his hand and forcefully pulled her face to his. He kissed her again, with tongues. A s.e.xy, demanding, curious kiss. A kiss about which there was no ambiguity, only longing.

'Are you coming in?' Her voice was husky with drink, cigarettes and shouting above the noise in the bar.

'I can't,' said Rich, shaking his head. 'Not this time.' He stumbled back down the corridor towards his and Tash's room. He put his arm in the air and waved, without turning around. In that moment, Jayne was certain that she was established. She was utterly celebrated, the sweet bits and the bad-girl bits. She felt s.e.xy, complete, victorious and vindicated. Her life of waiting and longing was about to become something more vital, something real.

She went into her room, closed the door and fell on to the bed without giving a thought to removing her clothes or make-up. Her body was incapable of performing anything so mundane.

Jason was finding breakfast a strain. Lloyd had barely said a word. It was unlike him not to be able to bounce back from a big session. It was worrying. Jason was aware that the entire gang thought he was the party fiend with alcoholic overtures. He was so firmly entrenched in this stereotype that they had failed to notice that he'd drunk slightly less than everyone, and significantly less than some, throughout this trip. But characteristics bequeathed by old buddies were harder to break than the bad habits themselves. The issue being, no one had noticed just how much Lloyd drank these days. Lloyd was considered staid, almost boring, not a party animal and therefore unlikely to go wild.

'You OK, buddy?'

Lloyd nodded, but didn't look up from his plate or pause as he shovelled scrambled egg into his mouth.

Jason wasn't able to wrestle much conversation out of Tash either. She was clearly preoccupied, and so she should be. He wondered what she'd say if she knew all he knew, or if she thought even for a moment that after she'd stormed out of the bar last night Rich had consoled himself on the dance floor with Jayne.

f.u.c.k, Jase hoped Rich had kept the consolation to the dance floor. He stole a look at Jayne. She was beaming. Her happiness radiated. It was almost blinding and, in the face of the multiple hangovers, Jason thought her blatant cheeriness a little insensitive. Had Rich done the dirty deed again? Surely not? Maybe?

f.u.c.k, this was a mess.

And then, that thing with Kiki. Jason parked the thought. He could not deal with it now. He didn't have to. Jason chose to stick to safe small talk.

'Where are Ted and Kate?' he asked. 'It's not like them to be late.'

'Are they late? I hadn't noticed. Oh, yes, of course, there are croissants left for everyone else. I should have guessed,' said Jayne. She giggled as she made her comment, sure that she'd secure a few cheap laughs with her cheeky remark.

No one replied. Ted and Kate did eat more than everyone else. Everyone had noticed, but no one would have pa.s.sed comment. Yet, as they had noticed, it would be hypocritical to chastise Jayne about her less-than-polite observation. Jayne immediately sensed that she'd stepped over the mark. She was usually careful to suppress any leanings towards cattiness, presenting herself as entirely sweetness and light. She knew the importance of being a crowd-pleaser, so she added, 'I love people with proper appet.i.tes. I can't stand pickers, can you?'

The table chorused their agreement, and they were left feeling mildly guilty that they'd interpreted Jayne's initial comment as anything less than charming.

'Have you heard?' Mia cried in a loud stage whisper from the entrance of the breakfast room.

She hurried to the table and slipped into the chair next to Jason. Her expression bounced between excited and shocked, a little like those drivers who rubber-neck as they pa.s.s an accident on the motorway. She ordered coffee from the waitress, and shooed away the waiter who was trying to drop a napkin on her nap.

'I can manage,' she snapped at him. Her impatience was out of character usually she loved the excessive attention secured at a luxury establishment such as this, but today she was intent on gossiping. 'Have you heard about Big Ted and Ms Monopoly?' she asked again.

Jason, Tash and Jayne looked blank. Lloyd looked like he often did at his weekly status meetings with his boss, when he had some bad news to deliver and was hoping the spin wouldn't be too transparent. He looked wary.

'They are broke,' said Mia triumphantly.

It wasn't that she was pleased that Kate and Ted were broke; if she'd paused to think about it she would have realized that the opposite was true. Kate and Ted's financial collapse was devastating. It was just that it was such a divine piece of gossip, and Mia loved bestowing choice scandal.

'Broke?' asked Jason, confused. 'In what way? What do you mean?'

'Totally bankrupt,' saying the word made Mia think about it. She paused, then added, 'Isn't it awful?'

'Are you sure?' asked Tash. It seemed impossible. Kate and Ted were rich. Was it possible to just stop being rich? Tash feared it probably was.

'Certain. I've just b.u.mped into Action Man in the corridor. Big Ted had been to your room to tell you that they have to go home immediately and try to sort things out.'

'I'm afraid it's true,' added Lloyd. The group turned to him. They looked at him with surprise; it was so easy to forget he was there at all.

'You knew?' asked Mia. She was rather disgruntled that she wasn't the first with this gem, after all. Lloyd nodded, then told the full story of Ted's fall, literal and metaphorical. It was, in many ways, a relief to share the burden of the secret.

'How awful,' said Tash. 'Jayne, do you want me to come with you?'

'Where to?' asked a confused Jayne.

'Don't you want to go to your brother? You might be able to help.'

'What help could I be?' Jayne asked. She was genuinely surprised that Tash thought she could be of any help at all. Jayne didn't do the tea-and-sympathy thing.

'Well...' Tash hesitated. To her, it was obvious. Jayne could offer some practical support. She could fly home with them and help with the children, so as to allow the couple as much time as they needed to talk, to act, to deal with this horrible situation. She could hand out tissues, make the odd meal. She could just be there, to smile when no one felt in the least like smiling.

Jayne looked embarra.s.sed. No, she did not want to go to her brother. No, she definitely did not want to go home with Ted and Kate. No way. Not when Rich had just kissed her. If she went home now he might forget all about her. All her hard work would be undone. Cloying, needy Tash would trick him into going through with this ridiculous farce of a wedding. Going home now was a ludicrous, dangerous, ridiculous idea.

'I won't be any use to them. Kate and Ted are very independent. They look after me, not the other way around. I'm the baby sister, don't forget.'

Jayne smiled quickly, then turned the smile into a pout. Lloyd and Jason dropped their heads and stared at their breakfasts. They knew Jayne was being selfish, but they also knew if they caught her bewitching glance they'd think what she was saying made perfect sense.

'Normally, they look after you but, in this case, surely...' Tash trailed off. There was something in Jayne's eyes, which she'd angrily flashed in Tash's direction, that told Tash it was a pointless argument. Jayne was not going to get involved.

'I think it's best if we leave them to it,' added Mia. 'They won't want to be crowded.' Tash stared, open-mouthed, at Kate's best friend.

'But think about the old saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed."'

'We don't want to look like vultures,' added Jason. 'What can we say that would comfort?'

'You're a copywriter, surely you could find the right words,' argued Tash.

'That's just a job,' said Jase, with an apologetic shrug. He would genuinely have liked to be a comfort to Ted and Kate, but honestly couldn't see what he had to offer. Tash was stunned. For all the gang's constant talk about friendship, they didn't seem very friendly towards each other right now when the chips were down. Tash didn't think she knew Kate or Ted particularly well. She had found them reserved and at times remote, but she wouldn't wish this disaster on her worst enemies, not that she had any. She felt out of her depth. There was a need to say or do something, but what? Surely the gang knew.

'Do you think she'll leave him?' Mia asked Jason.

'It's a very difficult one for any couple to get through,' he admitted. 'Kate certainly isn't going to like giving up her lifestyle.'

'I can't see her in rubber gloves,' added Mia.

'What will Mummy and Daddy say?' asked Jayne.

'Will they be able to help out?' asked Mia.

Jayne looked embarra.s.sed. 'Unlikely. They are not as wealthy as one would imagine. That old ruin they insist on hanging on to bleeds us dry. Goodness, by default, I'll look like the perfect child following this scandal. All I've ever done to embarra.s.s them is remain ringless on my thirtieth birthday. That's small fry compared to fraud.'

'It is awful, though, isn't it?'

'Simply dreadful.'

'Poor things.'

Lloyd pushed back his chair and stood up. He carefully folded his napkin across his plate. 'I'm not great with words. Even so, I think I'll try to find Ted, if you'll excuse me.'

53. Put the Kettle on.

Tash listened at the door. She could hear movement, but not voices. She'd hoped to catch Kate on her own, so she knocked again. The movement immediately stopped, and there was silence. Tash waited, then decided to go. Maybe the others were right. They knew Kate best after all. It was obvious that she didn't want to see anyone and, even if she did, Tash was probably the last person she'd want to see. It had been a stupid plan. Tash didn't want to upset her further. She turned away from the room and set off back down the corridor.

'Yes?' Kate opened the door and called after Tash.

'Hi.' Tash walked back to the door, but noticed that Kate didn't step aside and invite her in.

'We're just packing,' said Kate. She was holding a wash bag and clearly thought Tash would be looking for an explanation.

'I know,' nodded Tash. 'Ted talked to Rich and explained the situation.' Tash fell silent. Her rehea.r.s.ed speech had scampered to the darkest recesses of her mind, and suddenly she didn't know what to say. She didn't know what could be adequate. Certainly not 'I'm very sorry to hear about your problems,' which were the words that spilt out.

'Come in,' said Kate, remembering her manners. 'I can make you a cup of tea.'

'No. I don't want to be any trouble.'

'No trouble. It's complimentary, and I want to feel we got our money's worth from the room,' Kate smiled, and Tash thought it was brave of her to make a joke about money, so she felt she had to agree.

The room was in chaos. There were clothes everywhere in the wardrobe, on the backs of chairs and on the floor. Only some had made it into the suitcase that lay open on the enormous double bed. Tash edged the case to the side and sat down.

She took a deep breath and dived in. Still unsure of Kate's response, it felt right to her to make the offer.

'I came to say that we haven't opened the bed linen yet. Your wedding gift, I mean. And, well, you've been so generous throughout the trip; you've already given us gifts enough. I wondered if you'd mind if we returned it.'

Tash blushed. She didn't know if her offer would be seen as rude or thoughtful. From what Lloyd had said, 600 was a drop in the ocean compared to the extent of the debts that Kate and Ted were in, but, surely, every little helps. Besides, she just knew that she'd never have a good night's sleep on those blasted sheets.

'That's very kind of you,' said Kate. Her smile was weak but genuine. 'I'd appreciate that very much.'

'Really?' Tash beamed, pleased to be of practical help.

'Yes. John Lewis has a generous returns policy. We can get the goods credited straight back to the card. It would be useful.'

Kate had already decided to return the new china set that she'd impulse purchased before Christmas. It was an eighty-piece set, very pretty, silver leaves embossed around the edges. The set had cost over 1,000, and yet she hadn't even taken it out of the packaging yet.

'I am very sorry,' said Tash again. 'If there is anything we can do '

'We'll ask,' a.s.sured Kate.

Tash grinned. There was something confident in Kate's declaration that she would ask for help that cheered Tash. Kate's spirit was entirely British 'make do and mend'; it was heartening. Tash had expected to find Kate p.r.o.ne, in bed, sobbing helplessly and indulgently, perhaps calling her husband stupid and unreliable. It would have been understandable forgivable, even. But she wasn't. It was clear that Kate hadn't enjoyed a good night's sleep, and it was clear that she had spent much of the past night and morning crying, but she certainly didn't appear defeated or even angry.

'We're going to have to leave our home, which will be distressing for the children, but we're hoping to find somewhere cheap to rent until we sort out something permanent. I had hoped that we could keep them in their schools, at least until the year end, but I think we'll have to move out of London altogether. It's so frightfully expensive.'

Kate was bent over the enormous suitcase. She repeatedly picked up garments of clothing, started to fold them, then discarded them again, only to pick up the same thing a second later. Tash doubted that she'd ever finish packing at this rate. Carefully Tash reached out and picked up a jumper and started to fold it. It was Burberry cashmere. Tash knew clothes; this little number alone would have cost a fortune. Tash mentally shook her head. Poor Kate wouldn't be visiting Burberry's again in a hurry. Still, on the bright side, at least economies could be made; they could buy their sweaters from M&S from now on.

'Where will you move to?'

Kate's braveness wavered. She ceased her attempt to pack and straightened up. 'I haven't a clue. One normally lives near one's work, but neither Ted nor I work. Now, about that tea.' She put the kettle on and found a cup and saucer in the wardrobe. 'I'm terribly sorry that we won't be able to stay for your wedding.'

Tash had temporarily forgotten that they were in Avoriaz for her wedding. There was so much going on. She couldn't believe that Kate had the presence of mind to be polite enough to apologize for her non-attendance.

'I'm sure you understand.' Tash nodded, but was speechless. 'We simply have to stop haemorrhaging cash, immediately. Even saving a couple of nights' hotel bill will help. Besides, we need to get back to the children and start sorting this awful mess out.'

'You really seem to be dealing with this so well,' blurted Tash.

Kate shrugged. 'What's the alternative? I won't achieve anything by crying, "Woe is me." I do wish Ted had told me earlier, but...' she hesitated.

Tash sympathized with Kate. She also believed that the saddest part of the whole situation was that Ted hadn't had the courage to be honest with Kate. Kate was so practical; perhaps she could have turned their fortunes around. She would have probably begged for his job back and, if that hadn't worked, she would have dealt with the bad PR, found a new spin and helped him to secure interviews at other companies. At the very least, she could have stopped him buying the house in the Cotswolds and running up the enormous debts of the past five months. Maybe she wouldn't have made any material difference, but maybe she would have. Now, they would never know, and they both had to live with that.

But, on the other hand, Tash also sympathized with Ted. Kate was formidable; he'd obviously been scared to confess to his wife. Kate must be saddened and chastened by that. Ted must be kicking himself now that his wife was being so eminently sensible and so entirely supportive. He'd be wishing that he'd unburdened himself earlier, before the situation had spiralled out of control.

'I love Ted,' stated Kate, 'and when we married we did say "for better for worse, for richer for poorer" in our vows.'

'Maybe, but n.o.body really expects the downside of the deal,' commented Tash.

Kate laughed at the truth of this. 'Maybe not, but we should.' Kate handed Tash a cup of tea. 'It's made with a bag, I'm afraid, and the milk is that awful UHT stuff. I'm sure it will be horrid.'