Steve Young Part 30

"Bah! Any big, strong, stupid fellow, with no brains to boast about, can jump overboard to save any one or do anything of that kind. I want to see you act like a brave fellow who is ready to make a bit of sacrifice of his own feelings, and behave in a manly way. Come, I'm giving you good advice. We shall have bad weather enough to deal with out in the open; we don't want any moral bad weather in the cabin. Go to the captain, and speak out frankly. Do you know what he will do?"

"Look at me, as he did just now."

"That's insulting a brave man and my friend, sir," said the doctor sternly. "I know Captain Marsham better than you do, then. He will do nothing of the kind. He will listen calmly and dispa.s.sionately to all you have to say, and then perhaps point out a few things."

"To humiliate me!" cried Steve.

"There you go again, blazing out. No, hardly to humiliate you; but, even if he does, who the salts of tartar are you, sir, that you are not to be spoken to and humiliated a bit when you have gone wrong?"

"Oh, I'm n.o.body," said Steve bitterly; "I'm a donkey and an a.s.s."

"Yes," said the doctor quietly, "but that is rather running wild; a donkey and an a.s.s are the same thing, Stevey, my lad. If the captain says a few things to cut your comb a little, they will do you good; and I am as certain as that I am sitting here that he will end by saying, 'There, my boy, then, that's an end of it. Let it be a lesson to you.

Now shake hands.'"

"He wouldn't say that. He'd send me out of the cabin feeling more miserable than I feel now."

"I know better than that, my lad. You're punishing yourself."

"Then, if a boy strikes me I'm not to strike him again?" cried Steve.

"Humph! Well, I did not say that, my lad, exactly."

"What was I to do, sir? Was I to let that miserable, disagreeable young rascal, who has been insulting and sneering at me ever since we started from Nordoe, knock me about, and I not retaliate?"

The doctor looked puzzled.

"Go in and shake hands with the captain; he's in his cabin."

"No, he isn't. I heard him go on deck, sir. But you didn't answer me."

"I told you that you couldn't fight with a boy like that. Look at your clothes."

"Oh yes, I know, sir. I'm all over feathers; but you don't say anything about what I asked: was I to let him knock me about and crow over me?"

"Well--er," said the doctor, "you might have kicked him."

"And that would have been cowardly, and he would have kicked me again.

It's worse to fight with the feet than it is to fight with the hands."

"Humph! Well, yes, I suppose it is," muttered the doctor; "but never mind that. Go on deck as soon as you're decent, and talk to the captain there."

"I can't, sir."

"Then will you go to him when he comes down?"

Steve shook his head, and the doctor began to grow warm.

"Now, don't be absurd and obstinate, sir," he cried; "do as I advise you, and let's get this miserable trouble out of the way. The cabin's too small, and we all want to help one another too much, for our little commonwealth to be at sixes and sevens. Come, pitch all that shame and cowardice overboard."

"Do you mean to say, sir, that I did wrong in pitching--I mean in hitting that hot-headed Scotch boy again when he hit me?"

"I did not bring you down here to argue out questions of that kind, sir."

"But you might answer me, sir. I want to know whether I really was in the wrong."

"Take it that you were," said the doctor.

"No, sir, I can't. I don't feel convinced. If you had been in my place--"

"I'm not going to answer any such questions, Steve, and you have no right to put them to me. I tell you I am not going to be cross-examined by you, sir, on all kinds of pros and cons. This is a matter that I want settled at once for both of your sakes--there, for all our sakes.

Now go."

Steve shook his head again.

"I don't feel as if I can."

"Then you're a more stubborn fellow than I took you to be; and I can a.s.sure you, Steve, I feel that, with a lad whom I have always tried to make my friend. Now, have I not?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then do as I say, Steve. Come, like a man."

"I can't now."

"There you go again, repeating this obstinate can't, can't, can't, when all the time you can."

"But tell me this, sir. Supposing--"

"Look here, boy, am I your doctor, or am I not?"

"No, sir, I haven't been ill," said Steve drily.

"You're ill now. Your nerves are all jarred, your head's in an unwonted state of excitement, and your pulse is going--though I have not felt it--far above its normal rate. You are ill, sir, bodily and mentally, in a regular peevish state of excitement; and as your doctor, speaking perfectly honestly and straightforwardly, I say to you that the medicine you require is mental; that you have only to go to the captain and have a few words based on my advice, and you will be well again directly."

"I'm not ill," said Steve coldly.

"You are, sir; and mental illness is worse than an ordinary bodily ailment. Now, will you go?"

"Will you answer me this one question, sir, first?"

"No. Well, yes, I will, if it's a sensible one; and then I shall expect you to go at once to make yourself tidy and see the captain. Now, then, it's very weak of me, but I'll do it this once. What is it?"

"Suppose, sir--"

"Oh, hang your supposes; let's have facts!"

"Suppose, sir," continued Steve, watching the doctor intently the while, "you were a boy like I am."