Sterling Family - A Perfect Groom Part 37

White's," she charged. "Why didn't you tell me about your wager with Gideon?"

He despised the betraying flush that seeped beneath his skin. "Perhaps I should have. I told Gideon before he left for Paris that the wager was off. He refused to listen. Arabella, for what it's worth, the wager was of no consequence to me."

It was the wrong thing to say. He knew it the instant the words were out. He gestured vaguely. "Arabella, I'm sorry-"

"Oh, I'm sure you are - sorry that you were caught!"

"I am sorry that I was so stupid, so foolish, so callous for making the wager at all! And yes, perhaps I'm being selfish, but I wish you hadn't found out." He gestured impatiently. "My G.o.d, how could I tell you? I didn't want to hurt you."

Arabella said nothing, merely stared at him in silent accusation.

"Arabella, the man who made that wager*he no longer exists. Being with you*everything's different. I'm different. For the first time in my life, I've felt*happy. Content. I -" He cast about for the right words, praying he could find them. "I've never felt like this, love. Never. And it's because of you, Arabella. I know it. I can feel it. When I think of our wedding night*what we shared*it's very precious to me, sweet. What we had*no, what we have*I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose you."

But she was shaking her head, over and over and over. Denying it. Denying him.

"Please leave," she said tonelessly.

"Arabella! Don't do this. It can't end like this."

"It should never have begun!" she cried.

Justin stared at her. They were mated. By G.o.d, they were married. They belonged together in spirit and in soul. Didn't she know it?

"Don't say that." Against her will, against all reason, he caught her hands in his. He was burning inside - his lungs, his throat, but most of all, burning at the center of his heart.

"You said a wife belongs at her husband's side, Arabella. The night I told you about my father, you said -"

"I know what I said. But*everything's changed."

He heard the words, despairing and thick.

He wanted to shake her, to demand that she listen. He wanted to close his arms around her and never let go. Christ, he thought helplessly, it was almost as if he could see her slipping away, drifting beyond his reach.

"You're wrong," he whispered. "Nothing's changed. Only me. Only me." His eyes were stinging. He saw the world through a watery blur. Saw her through a blur. He didn't care, nor did he care that she saw. All he could think was that he had to bring her back. He had to at least try.

"Please, sweetheart. We'll work this out, I promise. Just*" There was a deep, rough catch in his voice. "Come home with me. I - I'm begging you. Come home with me."A stricken sound tore from her throat, a cry that ripped his heart to shreds. "Don't say anymore. And don't look at me like that!" She wrenched away and bolted for the door.

Justin knew then. It was no use. There would be no arguing. There would be no pleading.

And when he left*he left alone.

The next afternoon, Sebastian whistled a merry tune as he mounted the steps to his brother's house on Brooke Street. He and Justin shared the same solicitor, and having just come from that good man's offices, he was eager to congratulate his brother on his recent purchase.

Arthur let him in. "My lord," he murmured, taking Sebastian's hat and umbrella, "your arrival is most welcome."

The butler directed him to Justin's study. He didn't think twice of Arthur's statement until he saw Justin.

He lounged in a chair by the fire, booted legs sprawled wide. His usually impeccable appearance was anything but. His cravat was undone, his shirt wrinkled and untidy, his jaw dark with stubble.

"Good G.o.d, man!" Sebastian exclaimed. "You look b.l.o.o.d.y awful!"

Justin saluted with a half-empty bottle of wine. "Thank you. May I return the compliment?"

Sebastian looked into bleary, bloodshot eyes and swore. "Are you foxed?"

Justin's mouth twisted. "Not yet. But I am trying." He started to lift the bottle."Ah, but where are my manners? Please, join me. It's a fine year, I promise you."

Sebastian wrested the bottle away and set it aside. "Where the devil is Arabella?"

Justin's eyes glinted. "My lovely wife spent last night at her aunt and uncle's. This morning, a footman came to collect some of her things. I trust that she is, at this very instant, contemplating whether or not our marriage should be annulled - per her parents' counsel, I might add."

Sebastian's mouth thinned. "Spare me your sarcasm. What the h.e.l.l are you doing here, then? This is the last place you should be."

"She doesn't want to see me."

"Oh, that's absurd."

"She told me, Sebastian. She told me. She*she's left me," he ground out."No, that's not right. I drove her away. I drove her away with my - my vileness. MyG.o.d, Sebastian, you should have seen her."

Sebastian sighed. "Perhaps I will have that gla.s.s of wine." He retrieved the wine, poured himself a healthy portion, then sat back in the chair opposite Justin. "Tell me what happened," he invited.

Quickly, without a surfeit of words, Justin began to talk. He began with the evening of the Farthingale

ball, and summed it up with Gideon's visit and the remainder of the evening last night.

Sebastian listened quietly throughout. One corner of his mouth crooked upward when Justin had finished.

"Well," he murmured, "I certainly don't envy you."

Justin eyed his brother. "Your sympathy overwhelms me."

Sebastian leaned forward. "This isn't doing either of you any good. But I doubt an

annulment would be so easy to obtain as Daniel thinks. For one, Arabella did have consent - her aunt and uncle. For another, the marriage has been consummated, has it not?"

Justin simply gave him a thoroughly disgusted look.

Sebastian's lips quirked in turn. "I agree, a stupid question."

"Perhaps it's better this way." Justin stared dully off into the corner.

"She's the best thing to ever come into your life," Sebastian said bluntly.

"And I'm the worst thing to come into hers."

"That's precisely the kind of thinking that will gain you nothing. Justin, sometimes things

happen that we don't expect, that we can't control. Perhaps it's just as she says.

Perhaps all Arabella needs is a little time. She'll come around."

Justin was quiet for a very long time. "And what if she doesn't?"

"Then make her."

Justin's mind veered to Arabella. He saw her as he'd left her, her eyes huge and wounded, shaken and but a shadow of the woman he knew.

Darkness slipped over him. "I can't. I won't." He faltered.

"Sebastian, I've hurt her enough."

"And you're content to leave it at that?"

"What the h.e.l.l am I supposed to do?" Justin grew bitter. "s.n.a.t.c.h her away from her parents? That should go over well. Her father would probably have me hunted down for kidnapping!"

"I hardly think so. Daniel is a reasonable man. When he sees how unhappy Arabella is,

he'll change his mind. So will Catherine.""Sebastian, you haven't been listening. She doesn't want me. I think it would suither just fine if she never laid eyes on me again. Christ, she could barely stand to be in the same room withme."

"She's angry and hurt," Sebastian reminded him gently. "And you forget, I have seen her with you. She can barely take her eyes from you - and you from her."

Justin dropped his head into his hands. Somehow he'd known his newfound happinesswouldn't last - that it was too good to be true. After all, she was too good for him. His wholelife, he'd been floundering; in Arabella, he'd found something worthwhile. He'dfelt whole. But now he'd lost her, and he had no one else to blame.

"That was before," he stated heavily. "And this is now, and*and it's just as she said. Everything's changed."

"No, Justin. Nothing's changed. Not really."

Justin raised his head. "I swear I do not mean to be rude, but what the h.e.l.l would you know about it?"

Sebastian smiled slightly. "Quite a lot, actually.""What the devil does that mean? And why the devil are you smiling?""If it's any consolation, I remember having a similar conversation with you several years ago, only then the tables were turned. As you may recall, there was a time when Devon refused to see

me as well."

Justin's mouth flattened into a grim line. "Yes, and whose fault was that? Mine. I was the one who almost ruined your chance at marriage."

"Oh, no, it wasn't you, Justin. I mucked things up quite tidily." Sebastian paused.

"It seems we both have a way of making fools of ourselves with the women we love."

Justin went utterly still, both inside and out. He stared at Sebastian until his eyes grew dry and he could no longer see. Scarcely able to breathe, he broke out in a cold sweat inside. Oh, G.o.d, was that what this was? This rending, tearing feeling deep in his soul? Was it love? It was like a red-hot knife tearing deep inside, over and over. A brand on his soul*on his very heart.