Stephen Archer, and Other Tales Part 43

_Ger._ Is it _all_ from duty, William? Yet why should I look for more?

There was a little girl I tried to do my duty by once--My head's rather queer still, William.

_Col. G._ Is there nothing to be done, sir?

_Ger._ No; it's here--(_putting his hand to his head_)--inside.

_Col. G._ I meant about the little girl, sir.--I can keep dark as well as another.--When there's anything on a man's mind, sir--good _or_ bad--it's a relief to mention it. If you could trust me--(_A pause_.) Men _have_ trusted their servants and not repented it.

_Ger._ No doubt--no doubt. But there is no help for me.

_Col. G._ You cannot be sure of that, sir.

_Ger._ You would help me if you could, I believe.

_Col. G._ G.o.d knows I would, sir--to the last drop of my blood.

_Ger._ That's saying much, William. A son couldn't say more--no, nor a father either.

_Col. G._ Oh! yes, he could, sir.

_Ger._ And mean it?

_Col. G._ Yes.

_Ger._ If I had a father, William, I would tell him all about it. I was but two years old when he left me.

_Col. G._ Then you don't remember him, sir?

_Ger._ I often dream about him, and then I seem to remember him.

_Col. G._ What is he like, sir?--in your dreams, I mean.

_Ger._ I never see him distinctly: I try hard sometimes, but it's no use. If he would but come home! I feel as if I could bear anything then.--But I'm talking like a girl!

_Col. G._ Where is your father, sir?

_Ger._ In India.

_Col. G._ A soldier, sir?

_Ger._ Yes. Colonel Gervaise--you must have heard of him. Sir Walter he is now.

_Col. G._ I've heard of _him_, sir--away in the north parts he's been, mostly.

_Ger._ Yes. How I wish he would come home! I would do everything to please him. I have it, William! I'll go to India. I did think of going to Garibaldi--but I won't--I'll go to India. I _must_ find my father.

Will you go with me?

_Col. G._ Willingly, sir.

_Ger._ Is there any fighting there now?

_Col. G._ Not at present, I believe.

_Ger._ That's a pity. I would have listed in my father's regiment, and then--that is, by the time he found me out--he wouldn't be ashamed of me. I've done nothing yet. I'm n.o.body yet, and what could he do with a son that was n.o.body--a great man like him! A fine son _I_ should be! A son ought to be worthy of his father. Don't you think so, William?

_Col. G._ That wouldn't be difficult, sir!--I mean with most fathers.

_Ger._ Ah! but _mine_, you know, William!--Are you good at the cut and thrust?

_Col G._ Pretty good, sir, I believe.

_Ger._ Then we'll have a bout or two. I've got rusty.--Have I said anything odd--or--or--I mean since I've been ill?

_Col. G._ Nothing you need mind, sir.

_Ger._ I'm glad of that.--I feel as if--(_putting his hand to his head_). William! what could you do for a man--if he was your friend?--no, I mean, if he was your enemy?

_Col. G._ I daren't say, sir.

_Ger._ Is the sun shining?

_Col. G._ Yes, sir. It's a lovely day.

_Ger._ What a desert the sky is!--so dreary and wide and waste!--Ah!

if I might but creep into a hole in a tree, and feel it closing about me! How comfortable those toads must feel!

_Col. G._ (_aside_). He's getting light-headed again! I must send for the doctor. _Exit_.

_Ger._ But the tree would rot, and the walls grow thin, and the light come through. It is crumbling now! And I shall have to meet _her_!

And then the wedding! Oh my G.o.d! (_Starts up and paces about the room_.)--It _is_ the only way! My pistols, I think--yes.--(_Goes to a table, finds his keys, and unlocks a case_.)--There they are! I may as well have a pa.s.sport at hand! (_Loading one_.)--The delicate thunder-tube! (_Turns it over lovingly_.) Solitude and silence! One roar and then rest! No--no rest!--still the demon to fight! But no eyes to meet and brave!--Who is that in the street?--She is at the door--with him!

_Enter_ COL. G. _and seizes his arm_.

_Ger._ (_with a cry_). You've killed my Psyche! (_Goes to the clay, and lifts the cloth_.) There's the bullet-hole through her heart!

_Col. G._ It might have been worse, sir.

_Ger._ Worse! I've killed her! See where she flies! She's gone! She's gone! (_Bursts into tears_. COL. G. _leads him to the couch_.) Thank you, William. I couldn't help it. _That_ man was with her. I meant it for myself.

_Col. G._ Who did you say was with her?

_Ger._ You mustn't heed what I say. I am mad. (_A knock. He starts up_.) Don't let them in, William. I shall rave if you do.

COL. G. _catches up the pistols and exit hurriedly_. GER. _throws himself on the couch_.

_Re-enter_ COL. G.

_Col. G._ (_aside_). He is in love with her! Everything proves it. My boy! My boy!