Stephen Archer, and Other Tales Part 35

_Bill_. Many and many's the time, daddy.

_Tho._ Yigh--afore her dinner!

_Bill_. And after it too, daddy.

_Tho._ O Lord!--And what does hoo do when hoo 's hungry?

_Bill_. Grins and bears it. Come and see her, daddy?

_Tho._ O Lord! Mo Mattie, an' nothin' to eight! Goo on, boy. Aw'm beawn to follow yo. Tak mo wheer yo like. Aw'll goo.

_Bill_. Come along then, daddy.

_James (collaring him_). Hullo, young un! You're the rascal as stole the suvering: _I_ saw you!

_Bill_. Dunno what you're up to. I never stole nothink.

_James_. Oh no! of course not! What's that in yer fist now? (_Catches_ BILL'S _hand, and forces it open_.) There!

BILL _drops his stool on_ JAMES'S _foot, throws up the coin, catches it with his other hand, and puts it in his mouth_.

_Tho._ Theighur! Theighur! The like ov that! Aw're agooin wi' a thief--aw wur!

_Bill_. Never you mind, daddy. It wur guv to me.

_James_. That's what they allus says, sir.--You come along.--I'd be obliged to you, sir, if you would come too, and say you saw him.

_Tho._ Nay! aw connot say aw seigh him steyle it.

_James_. You saw it in his hand.

_Tho._ Yigh! aw did.

_Bill_. It wis guv to me, I tell ye.

_James_. Honest boy, this one! Looks like it, don't he, sir? What do you think of yourself, you young devil, a decoying of a grey-haired old gen'leman like this? Why, sir, him an' his pals 'ud ha' taken every penny you had about you! Murdered you, they might--I've knowed as much.

It's a good thing I 'appened on the spot.--Come along, you bad boy!

_Bill_. I didn't, take it. And I won't go.

_James_. Come along. They'll change it for you at the lock-up.

_Bill_. You didn't see me steal it! You ain't never a goin' to gi' me in charge?

_James_. Wrong again, young un! That's? percisely what I am a goin' to do!

_Bill_. Oh, sir! please, sir! I'm a honest boy. It's the Bible-truth.

I'll kiss twenty books on it.

_James_. I won't ax you.--Why, sir, he ain't even one o' the shoe-brigade. He 'ain't got a red coat. Bless my soul! he 'ain't even got a box--nothin' but a scrubby pair o' brushes as I'm alive! He ain't no s...o...b..ack. He's a thief as purtends to black shoes, and picks pockets.

_Bill_. You're a liar! I never picked a pocket, in my life.

_James_. Bad language, you see! What more would you have?

_Tho._ Who'd iver lia' thowt o' sich wickedness in a boy like that!

_Bill_. I ain't a wicked boy, no. Nay, doan't thae tell mo that! Thae made gam of mo, and hurried and scurried mo, as iv aw'd been a mak ov a deevil--yo did.

_James_. He's one of the worst boys I know. This Timothy is one of the very worst boys in all London.

_Bill (aside_). Timothy, eh? I twigs! It's Rainbow, by Peter and Paul!--Look y'e here, old gen'leman! This 'ere's a bad cove as is takin'

adwantage o' your woolliness. _I_ knows him. His master guv me the suvering. He guv it to me to tell him where your Mattie was.

_James_. Don't you fancy you're g' in' to take in an experienced old gen'leman like that with your c.o.c.k-and-bull stories! Come along, I say.

Hey! Police!

_Bill_. Here you are! _(Takes the coin from his mouth, rubs it dry on his jacket, and offers it._) I don't want it. Give it to old Hunx there.--He shan't never see his Mattie! I wur right to chivy him, arter all.

_James (taking the coin_). Now look here, Timothy. I'm a detective hofficer. But I won't never be hard on no buy as wants to make a honest livin'. So you be hoff! I'll show the old gen'leman where he wants to go to.

BILL _moves two paces, and takes a sight at him_.

_Tho._ The Lord be praised! Dosto know eawr Mattie then?

_James_. It's the dooty of a detective hofficer to know every girl in his beat.

_Bill_. My eye! there's a oner!

_Tho._ Tak mo to her, sir, an' aw'll pray for yo.

_James_. I will.--If I cotch you nearer than Mile End, I'll give you in charge at oncet.

_Bill (bolting five yards_). He's a humbug, daddy! but he'll serve you right. He'll melt you down for taller. He ain't no 'tective. I know him.

_Tho._ Goo away.

_Bill_. Good-bye, daddy! He don't know your Mattie. Good-bye, skelington! _Exit_.

_Tho._ Eh! sech a boy!

_James_. Let me see. You want a girl of the name of Mattie?

_Tho._ Aw do, sir.

_James_. The name is not an oncommon one. There's Mattie Kent?

_Tho._ Nay; it's noan o' her.