Starkissed. Part 15

"Yes. No." She frowned at him. "I'm not sure. All that time you were calling me 'female' as if I were nothing more than a-a generic gender. As if I were nothing."

"You called me Commander."

"That's your t.i.tle."

"No. It isss a t.i.tle Cameron usssed. He explained that Commander sssoundsss lesss antagonissstic than Warrior, the t.i.tle bessstowed upon me by my people. Commander meansss nothing to me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

"Beg forgivenesss, Leith, but we were ssstrangersss at the time. I would have been uncomfortable usssing your na'ajh."

Veiled name, he had defined the word one night when she asked him to tell her his complete name again. She repeated the syllables until she had them memorized. J'Qhir had explained a Zi rarely shared his na'ajh with anyone besides his lifemate. It was a sign of trust and something he had never given to another being, not even T'hirz. Leith felt truly honored by his confidence.

"What rank is Warrior?" Leith asked as she tried to tug her foot free.

He tilted his head and blinked slowly. "I do not underssstand what you a.s.ssk?"

She rested her foot again. "If you're not a commander then what position do you hold in the Zi force?"

He blinked once more then said suddenly, "No, no. Warrior isss not equivalent to sssoldier, although I do underssstand why the t.i.tle isss misssleading. The Warrior doesss not partic.i.p.ate in battle."

"There's only one Warrior?" Leith tried again to pull free of her trousers.

"One at a time. Our word Ga'ar'ja wa.s.ss taken from the old ssstoriesss of warsss fought between desssertsss. The Terran Ssstandard word 'warrior' isss an ancient word, isss it not? It isss why I chossse it."

"Yes, you're right." One final yank pulled her foot from the twisted trouser leg. "But if the Warrior doesn't war, what does he do?"

"The Warrior never wagesss war. He isss the people'sss greatessst hope..." J'Qhir's voice softened and trailed off. He lowered his eyelids and bowed his head. "Not that I am the bessst. My father accomplissshed far greater deedsss during hisss ssshort tenure. Hisss untimely death came during the fiercessst of our battlesss with the Cruciansss. There wa.s.ss no time to carry out the rite of sssuccesssion to choossse another. At the time, I wa.s.ss indeed a sssoldier. I wa.s.ss called upon to ssserve in my father' sss ssstead."

"I'm sure it's an honor you deserve," Leith said quietly. "But you still haven't explained exactly what you do."

He nodded. "The Warrior ensssuresss the sssurvival of the people. The ssstrongessst malesss are called to battle and many die. Sssomeone mussst provide for thossse left behind-the old, the ill, the younglingsss, and the femalesss-a.s.ss well a.s.ss the sssoldiersss themssselvesss."

A chill crawled over Leith's body that had nothing to do with the cold. She wrapped her arms around herself. "Then the cargo-"

"The cargo wa.s.ss sssuppliesss-food and medicine and Terran wool-badly needed by my people."

"And-And Steve knew this?"

"Yesss, Hanc.o.c.k knew," he growled harshly.

"He sold it to the Cruciansss anyway."

"Sss't, yesss. He knowsss the Cruciansss have laid wa.s.sste to much of the mountainousss region. The qhal' is nearly extinct."

"The qhal'?"

"A quadruped with long hair. We ussse the animal for food and weave itsss hair for clothing. Three ssstandard yearsss ago, Cameron helped usss move a sssmall herd to another planet ssso the qhal' can thrive and one day repopulate the mountainsss of Zi."

"I'm sorry!"

J'Qhir shook his head. "Do not apologize for the Cruciansss or Hanc.o.c.k."

"I don't. I-I made a.s.sumptions that were wrong. I didn't know-"

"I know what you thought, Leith. Jussst a.s.ss you a.s.ssumed I wa.s.ss a sssoldier, you a.s.ssumed I bought weaponsss from your father."

Ashamed, Leith nodded, unable to speak.

"But it did not matter to you," he said softly. "Had our posssitionsss been reversssed, I do not think I would have been a.s.ss forgiving."

Leith swallowed hard. "I hope you don't think too badly of me. I found it difficult to believe my parents would be involved in illegal trading. After I came to know you, it was equally difficult to believe you would ask it of them."

He gathered the blankets closer together. "Trade with the Zi isss illegal no matter the cargo."

"I know, but sometimes the humane purpose of an illegal act overrides the law. I should have guessed sooner, or at least asked you."

He blinked slowly. "The wind ha.s.ss ssshifted. Plea.s.sse finisssh undresssing."

The cold draft reached her then and she shivered violently, but his suggestive request kindled a warmth in her that she didn't think possible after their numerous bouts of lovemaking over the last few days.

With chattering teeth, she undressed slowly and never took her eyes from his. She unfastened her bra, easing the magnostrip apart, and let the garment fall over her shoulders and down her arms. She ran her hands down the sides of her body, her fingers slipping into the waistband of her underpants. She had no idea if what she did aroused him until he made a brief, guttural sound. He said nothing more and never moved. His eyes devoured her, never blinking.

The wind changed again, blowing steamy air over her goose-b.u.mped flesh. Slowly, she slid the underpants down her legs until they fell to her ankles. She pulled her feet free of them, took a few teasing steps toward J'Qhir, then turned and dove into the water.

Leith came up and slung her hair back, wiping water from her eyes. She found the underwater ledge and braced her knees against it. She crossed her arms on the rim of the pool and rested her chin on them.

"My turn to watch."

"Leith!"

"It's only fair."

He hissed, but dropped the blankets from his shoulders. He braced himself against the boulder to remove his boots, then quickly peeled off his jacket, shirt, trousers, and underclothes. At last he stood wearing nothing, but before she had a chance to comment, he sliced into the water and came up spluttering.

"I feel cheated. You undressed too fast," she teased.

"The wind ssshifted again," he murmured and turned, swimming away from her.

Her clean, strong strokes caught up to him quickly. After sitting in the chill night air, the warm water felt good flowing across her skin. They made several laps, then J'Qhir perched on the underwater ledge at the narrow end of the oval near where they'd dove into the pool. Leith also sat on the ledge further up the side from him.

"You come from a hot, arid world. Where did you learn how to swim?"

"Here, in thisss pool."

Shocked, Leith stared at him. "You didn't know how to swim until you came up here?"

He shook his head, unconcerned.

"You could have easily drowned. Why didn't you tell me? I would have taught you or at least made sure you didn't kill yourself."

"I have obssserved ssswimming." He shrugged. "It ssseemed a sssimple enough processs."

"You could have drowned," Leith repeated. She shuddered at the thought that he might have died.

"But I did not."

"Just because the worst didn't happen, doesn't mean it was the right thing to do." She pushed free of the ledge and floated closer to him. "You put yourself in jeopardy when you didn't need to."

"I honessstly did not think of the consssequencesss. I had no difficulty learning to move in water." He reached for her hand and pulled her to him. "But you are correct. I ssshould not have made the attempt without you."

"No, you should not have." In their own special ritual, she kissed his cheek and crest, then tilted her head and placed her lips on his mouth. The hard contours did not yield and mold to her as supple human flesh would, but his thin, flickering tongue more than made up for it. The warmth he had ignited earlier with his request fanned into a hotter flame in the pit of her belly. She pressed the hard tips of her aching b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest and let the natural fluctuating current rub them back and forth. He still hadn't decided what to do with them. The Zi did not have b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"You invite me."

"Yesss..." she answered breathlessly.

Beneath the water, she slid her hands down the ribbing of his torso and ma.s.saged the hard bulge around his vent.

"I thought-"

She quickly kissed his mouth, stopping his words. "Don't think."

Leith trailed her tongue along his jaw, neck, and across his chest. Taking several breaths and holding the last, she went under the water. She eased her fingers inside his vent and probed until his jha'i released into her hand. This was the first time she had actually seen the thing that gave her such pleasure. J'Qhir never released until he was securely nestled against her.

She stroked it a few times, and it lengthened and stiffened under her gentle touch.

The clarity of the water and the brilliant moonlight allowed her to see he wasn't quite like a human male. Although she had never examined one this closely, she had seen enough of them in vids and ads to detect the differences. The head was not as large in proportion to the smoother shaft and there was no curvature. Its color was milky white and the texture was incredible softness over incredible hardness. His hands tangled in her hair and tugged, as if he meant for her to stop. Instead, she placed her mouth over the tip and suckled.

His hands tightened and he peaked almost immediately, a flood of warm s.e.m.e.n filling her mouth. She choked a little at the suddenness, but she stayed with him until the rigidity left his body. Then she was all too aware of the ache in her lungs and the need to breathe. At the same moment, J'Qhir pulled her up by the strands of her hair. She spat water mixed with his seed and gulped steamy air as he held her above the water. When her breathing returned to normal, he crushed her to him.

"Qa'anh'al!" he whispered the one word feverishly. "What do you do to me? You make me crave the forbidden more than I have craved anything in my life...even the sssalvation of my people."

"I'm sorry!" she cried out and flung her arms around his neck. She hugged him fiercely as tears burned her eyes. "I beg forgiveness, J'Qhir. I didn't know. I swear I won't do it again if you don't want me to. Tell me, J'Qhir, teach me what is right and wrong for you so I'l know."

"No, Leith, do not beg my forgivenesss. I am not worthy. You are not at fault." He raised her head and looked into her eyes. "I do not blame you. You tempt me, but I am not forced to give in to the temptation."

"I'm not trying to tempt you."

"I know. There isss no guile in what you do."

She blinked back the tears. "I don't know your ways. I only know mine. On Earth, it is perfectly acceptable for two consenting adults to engage in s.e.xual activity of any kind. There is no stigma attached. Nothing is forbidden."

"On Zi it isss much different. But here, there isss only you and I." He laid her head on his shoulder and pressed his cheek to hers while he fondled strands of wet hair. His voice lowered, and he seemed to be talking more to himself than her. "We may never leave thisss planet. How can I deny usss by adhering to the rulesss of a place I will never sssee again?"

"Have you given up hope?" She allowed tears to fall. If he had given up hope of rescue, what else did they have to look forward to? Years, perhaps decades if they were lucky, of trying to survive and nothing more.

"No, there isss alwaysss hope, but I mussst alss...o...b.. realissstic."

"Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed."

"Sss'h. Another of your human sssayingsss."

"One for every occasion."

A cascade of water droplets sprinkled over them. The gray clouds had moved over, covering most of the moon. Leith looked up to find snow falling all around them, thick and fast, but the steam turned the snowflakes to rain directly above the pool.

"We mussst return to the cave."

Leith emerged first and gathered their clothing. As they dressed J'Qhir grew lethargic from exposure to the cold. She helped him finish dressing and wrapped the blankets around him.

After a slow and careful descent down the slippery slope, they welcomed the warmth of the cave. Shivering, Leith piled wood on the fire until it was a raging inferno while J'Qhir huddled close to the flames. They had enough fuel to last a week or longer if used sparingly, but J'Qhir needed the heat now.

Leith undressed and laid out her clothes to dry. Then she sat across the fire from J'Qhir, running her hands through her wet hair to untangle it and allow it to dry faster. Through the flames, J'Qhir watched her.

Suddenly, he threw off the damp beast blanket and spread the solar film over the gra.s.s bed. He pulled off his clothes and came around the fire toward her. In one swift motion he picked her up and laid her down on the silky film. He rubbed his forehead gently against hers.

"I would never have watched a moon rissse with T'hirz. Or joined her in the bathing pool. Had ssshe lived, we would never have touched the way you and I do, even ssso many yearsss after our binding. There isss no rea.s.sson other than it isss not our way."

Bracing himself on one hand, he used the other to brush her hair aside and expose her ear. He leaned closer and traced the outer rim with his thin tongue. The warm, wet caress sent a chill across her skin and she shivered.

"It isss fa.s.sscinating that sssuch a sssmall touch plea.s.ssuresss you."

His breath pa.s.sed over the wet trail he'd left behind, and Leith moaned, closing her eyes. "Mmmm. It pleasures me very much."

His tongue traveled down her neck and chest, studiously avoiding her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, then across her quivering belly.

When he stopped, Leith opened her eyes and saw his eyeslits were very narrow.

"I want to ta.s.sste you the sssame way you have ta.s.ssted me. Tell me what to do."

Leith told him and was exquisitely pleased with the results.

Lines of numbers marched across the cave wall where every afternoon Leith had marked another day's pa.s.sing. She had begun the crude calendar three standard weeks before, the night after the full moon. She had started with their first day and calculated Paradise's days as well as Earth's. It was now April 6 on Earth.

Leith laid aside the chunk of chalky rock and sighed. Someday all of this would be left behind. If they survived the winter, they would head south to warmer climes. She didn't know if leaving the area where Steve had dropped them was a good idea, but she knew life would be much easier for them if they could find a place with temperate weather.

Leith returned to the fire and her work. J'Qhir had showed her how to make twine by twisting fibers they found underneath tree bark. She had experimented with braiding the lengths of twine into a thicker rope. She was still impatient with the twine and rope making, but it seemed to go faster than making baskets.

After the short snowfall the night of the full moon where less than ten centimeters had fallen, they had experienced another warm spell. They had taken the opportunity to return to the cone tree forest. They had built a litter with sides and brought back as many cones as it could carry.

Leith had experimented with the sugarpod juice and found that the liquid, when spread thin on a flat rock and quick dried with the laserlight, formed a leather that could be rehydrated when boiled in water. It was an excellent way to preserve the last of the pod juice.

Now, J'Qhir entered the cave and unslung the flightpack from his broad shoulder. He had insisted his knee was well enough for him to take a turn at gathering when the weather was warm enough. Leith didn't believe him, but she dared not call him a liar. J'Qhir leaned on his makeshift crutch for a moment before he eased down on the other side of the fire. Leith said nothing. If she asked him, he would tell her he was all right. She knew different. His knee hadn't healed properly, and he would never be able to walk without a limp and pain. He said long soaks in the pool helped, and they probably did temporarily.

She asked him if he was hungry, but he said no. Leith hid a smile. The day she first thought of trying to dry the sugarpod juice, she was going to use the pan from the mess kit, but couldn't find it. After searching the cave, she went looking for J'Qhir to see if he knew where it was. She had found him in the woods with a small fire. He was cutting up one of the giant worms and cooking it in the pan. Quietly, she left him with his secret. On the days she found the pan missing, he wouldn't eat of their stored food. She didn't mind and thought of telling him she knew. But everyone needed a guilty pleasure. She had the sugarpods and he had worms.

With the beast jerky, cone nuts, sugarpod leather, and a.s.sorted nuts, dried berries and greens, they had a good chance of surviving the winter if it wasn't too harsh or too long.