Sonny, a Christmas Guest Part 2

How my ol' stockin'-feet do tromp! Do lemme hurry an' set down! Seem like this room's awful rackety, the fire a-poppin' an' tumblin', an'

me breathin' like a porpoise. Even the clock ticks ez excited ez I feel. Wonder how they sleep through it all! But they do. He beats her a-snorin' a'ready, blest ef he don't! Wonder ef he knows he's born into the world, po' little thing! I reckon not; but they's no tellin'. Maybe that's the one thing the good Lord gives 'em _to_ know, so's they'll realize what to begin to study about--theirselves an' the world--how to fight it an' keep friends with it at the same time. Ef I could giggle an' sigh both at once-t, seem like I'd be relieved. Somehow I feel sort o' tight 'roun' the heart--an' wide awake an'--

How that clock _does_ travel--an' how they all keep time, he--an'

she--an' it--an' me--an' the fire roa'in' up the chimbley, playin' a tune all around us like a' organ, an' he--an' she--an' he--an' it--an'

he--an'--

Blest ef I don't hear singing--an' how white the moonlight is! They's angels all over the house---an' their robes is breshin' the roof whilst they sing--

His head had fallen. He was dreaming.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

THE BOY

[Ill.u.s.tration: 'H']

Here's the doctor, now! h.e.l.lo, Doc, come right in! Here's yo' patient, settin' up on the po'ch, big ez life; but when we sent for you this mornin' it seemed thess. .h.i.t an' miss whether he'd come thoo or not.

Thess the same sort o' spells he's had all along, doctor,--seems you can't never see 'im in one,--all brought on by us a-crossin' 'im. His gran'ma insisted on hidin' the clock when he wanted it; but I reckon she'll hardly resk it ag'in, she's that skeert. He's been settin' on the flo' there thess the way you see 'im now, with that clock in his lap, all mornin'.

Of co'se it thess took him about ten minutes to bu'st all the little things his gran'ma give him to play with, 'n' then he nach.e.l.ly called for the clock; 'n' when she wasn't forthcomin' _immejate_, why, he thess stiffened out in a spell.

Of co'se we put the timepiece into his hands quick ez we could onclinch 'em, an' sent for you. But quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo. But you was already gone for, then.

His gran'ma she got considerable fretted because he's broke off the long han' o' the clock; but I don't see much out o' the way about that. Ef a person thess remembers thet the long han' is the short han'--why, 't ain't no trouble.

An' she does make 'im _so_ contented an' happy! Thess look at his face, now! What is the face-vally of a clock, I like to know, compared to that?

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Quick ez he see the clock, he come thoo."]

But of co'se the ol' lady she's gettin' on in years, and then she's my wife's mother, which makes her my _di_rec' mother-in-law; an' so I'm slow to conterdic' anything she says, an' I guess her idees o'

regulatin' childern--not to say clocks--is sort o' diff'rent to wife's an' mine. She goes in for reg'lar dis_cip_line, same ez she got an'

survived in her day; an' of co'se, ez Sonny come to her ez gran'son the same day he was born to us ez plain son, we never like to lift our voices ag'in anything she says.

She loves him thess ez well ez we do, only on a diff'rent plan. She give him the only spankin' he's ever had--an' the only silver cup.

Even wife an' me we had diff'rent idees on the subjec' o' Sonny's raisin'; but somehow, in all our ca'culations, we never seemed to realize that _he'd_ have idees.

Why, that two-year-old boy settin' there regulatin' that clock warn't no mo' 'n to say a pink spot on the piller 'fo' he commenced to set fo'th his idees, and he ain't never backed down on no principle thet he set fo'th, to this day.

For example, wife an' me, why, we argued back an' fo'th consider'ble on the subjec' of his meal-hours, ez you might say, she contendin' for promiskyus refreshment an' me for schedule time.

This, of co'se, was thess _proj_eckin' 'fo' the new boa'der ac-chilly arrived, He not bein' here yet, we didn't have much to do _but_ speculate about him. Lookin' back'ards now, it seems to me we couldn't'a' had nothin' to do, day or night, 'fo' he come.

But, ez I was sayin', she was for meals at all hours, an' I was for the twenty-minutes-for-refreshment plan, an' we discussed it consider'ble, me always knowin', but never lettin' on, thet of co'se she, havin' what you might call a molopoly on the restaurant, could easy have things her own way, ef she'd choose.

But, sir, from the time he looked over that bill o' fare an' put his finger on what he'd have, _an' when_, that boy ain't never failed to call for it, an' get it, day 'r night.

But, talkin' 'bout the clock, it did seem funny for him to keep her goin' 'thout no key.

But somehow he'd work it thet that alarm 'd go off in the dead hours o'

night, key or no key, an' her an' me we'd jump out o' bed like ez ef we was shot; and do you b'lieve thet that baby, not able to talk, an'

havin' on'y half 'is teeth, he ain't never failed to wake up an' roa'

out a-laughin' ever' time that clock 'd go off in the night!

Why, sir, it's worked on me so, sometimes, thet I've broke out in a col'

sweat, an' set up the balance o' the night--an' I ain't to say high-strung, neither.

No, sir, we ain't never named 'im yet. Somehow, we don't seem to be able to confine ourselves to no three or four names for 'im, for so we thess decided to let it run along so--he thess goin' by the name o' "Sonny"

tell sech a time ez he sees fit to name 'isself.

Of co'se I sort o' ca'culate on him takin' the "Junior," an' lettin' me tack a capital "S" an' a little "r" to my name 'fo' I die; which would nach.e.l.ly call attention to him _di_rec' eve'y time I'd sign my signature.

Deuteronomy Jones ain't to say a purty name, maybe; but it's scriptu'al--so far ez my parents could make it. Of co'se the Jones--well, they couldn't help that no mo' 'n I can help it, or Sonny, _or his junior_, thet, of co'se, may never be called on to appear in the flesh, Sonny not bein' quite thoo with his stomach-teeth yet, an' bein'

subject to croup, both of which has snapped off many a fam'ly tree fore to-day. But I reckon the Joneses ain't suffered much that a-way. I doubt ef any of 'em has ever left 'thout pa.s.sin' the name on--not knowin'

positive, but thess _jedgin'_. None o' mine ain't, I _know_, leastwise none of my _di_rec' ancestors--they couldn't have, an' me here, an'

Sonny.

_Don't_ jump, doctor! That's the supper-bell. 'Tis purty loud, but that's on account o' my mother-in-law. She's stone-deef--can't hear thunder; but I told wife thet I thought we owed it to her to do the best we could to reach her, and I had that bell made a-purpose.

Now, some men they'd slight a mother-in-law like that, an' maybe ring a dummy at her; but that's thess where I differ. I don't forget where I get my benefits, an' ef it hadn't 'a' been for her, the family circle o'

Deuteronomy Jones would be quite diff'rent to what it is. She's handed down some of Sonny's best traits to him, too.

I don't say she give him his hearin', less'n she give 'm all she had--which, of co'se, I'm thess a-jokin', which is a sin, an' her stone-deef, and Sonny thess come thoo a death-spell!

Me havin' that extry sized bell made thess out of respects to her tickled her mightily.

Come along, Sonny! He heerd the bell, an' he knows what it means. That's right--fetch the clock along.

Sonny's cheer is toler'ble low, an' he's took a notion to set on the clock mealtimes. I thess lay 'er face down'ards in his cheer, 'n' I don't know ez it hurts her any; 'n' then it saves the dictionary, too.

She did strike that a-way one day, and Sonny was so tickled he purty near choked on a batter-cake, he laughed so. He has broke sev'ral casters tryin' to jostle her into doin' it again, but somehow she won't.

Seem like a clock kin be about ez contrary ez anything else, once't git her back up.

He got so worked up over her not strikin' that a-way one day thet he stiffened out in a spell, then an' there.

You say they ain't apt to be fatal, doctor--them spells!

Well--but you ain't never saw him in one yet. They're reg'lar death-spells, doctor.

Tell you the truth, they was the 'casion of us j'inin' the church, them spells was.

Says I to wife--standin' beside him one day, and he black in the face--says I, "Wife," says I, "I reckon you an' me better try to live mo' righteously 'n what we've been doin', or he'll be took from us."