Somewhere Inside Part 9

While the plane taxied on the runway, Euna and Laura looked through the c.o.c.kpit to see their families anxiously awaiting their arrival.

Just moments before the plane landed in Burbank, California, on August 5, 2009, Laura and Euna posed for this photograph with President Clinton and his team. From left to right: Justin Cooper, Dr. Roger Band, President Bill Clinton, Euna Lee, Laura Ling, Min Ji Kwon, Doug Band, David Straub, and John Podesta.

Mary hugging Laura moments after her return, while Iain and Lisa look on.

From left to right: Charles Clayton, Vice President Al Gore, Iain, Laura, President Bill Clinton, Lisa, Paul Song, Mary, and Doug.

In September 2009, our family threw a luncheon at Woo Lae Oak restaurant in Arlington, Virginia, to thank Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and State Department colleagues who helped with our case.

Kurt Tong (left) (left) and Linda McFayden and Linda McFayden (center) (center) of the U.S. Department of State were our regular government contacts and friends during Laura's captivity. We were so happy that Swedish amba.s.sador to North Korea, Mats Foyer of the U.S. Department of State were our regular government contacts and friends during Laura's captivity. We were so happy that Swedish amba.s.sador to North Korea, Mats Foyer (right) (right) , happened to be visiting the United States when we threw the luncheon and was also able to attend. Amba.s.sador Foyer was Laura's lifeline to her family and the outside world. , happened to be visiting the United States when we threw the luncheon and was also able to attend. Amba.s.sador Foyer was Laura's lifeline to her family and the outside world.

Without explaining how, Deputy a.s.sistant Secretary Steinberg said that overtures had been made to North Korea to have direct talks about Laura and Euna, but there had been no response. Secretary Clinton reiterated the importance of maintaining low visibility so as not to raise the stakes and possibly provoke the people who were holding Laura and Euna. She strongly suggested that we continue not speaking publicly about the matter.

Then Al Gore chimed in. He told Secretary Clinton that he would be willing to go to North Korea if the opportunity presented itself.

To that, she remarked, "That's not a bad idea, Al. That just might work."

I was worried about what this would mean for Governor Richardson. No one in the room knew I had been communicating with him. If Gore were appointed to this mission, would the governor be out? I had only one objective, but I wondered if a change might result in the bruising of egos. The governor had become a confidant, and I knew he took our case very seriously. Still, at the end of the day, all I cared about was getting my sister out, no matter who was taking it on. I even thought the more people trying, the better.

That same day, we went to see Amba.s.sador Zhou at the newly built Chinese Emba.s.sy in Washington. Designed by the two sons of renowned architect I. M. Pei, this structure is an imposingly modern, sleek symbol of China's emergence. Even though Governor Richardson had told me that the North Koreans loathed having to answer to China, we hoped that given our Chinese descent, the Chinese government might help us somehow. We presented Amba.s.sador Zhou with a Hermes tie upon entering the room. He was formal but kind enough.

We told him we believed the North Korean soldiers crossed into China to apprehend Laura and Euna. We asked if the Chinese government would raise this with the government of North Korea.

"I'm sorry but we cannot help you," he replied. "First of all, they were inside China without the appropriate visa."

What the amba.s.sador said was true. Laura and her team had gone to China as tourists instead of journalists because they wanted to avoid the watchful eyes of Chinese government officials while reporting on the controversial issue of trafficking. In other words, he made it clear that we shouldn't look to China for help. That said, he kept the tie.

Meanwhile, Al Gore became a man on a mission. He had been engaged from the start, but after our meeting with Secretary Clinton, he went from taking cues from the State Department to becoming an active player in the game North Korea was perpetrating. Getting the girls out was among the most important things on his list of priorities. Additionally, the State Department had apparently found another means of communicating with North Korea outside of the "New York channel," and Gore allowed himself to be presented as an envoy to this other source. He was certainly a formidable candidate: a former vice president of the United States, former presidential candidate, n.o.bel Peace Prize winner, and chairman of the company that employed Laura and Euna.

We were starting to feel more momentum than we'd had in months. Gore brought his former national security adviser, Leon Fuerth, on board to be his lead in diplomatic efforts. Things were looking good.

Then, entirely unexpectedly, we were thrown for a loop. No more than a few days after our meeting with her, during an official press conference with Malaysia's foreign minister, Secretary Clinton made the following public statement regarding North Korea's designation of a June 4 trial date for Laura and Euna, when asked about it by a journalist in the room: "Actually the trial date being set we view as a welcome time frame," she said. "We believe that the charges are baseless and should not have been brought, and that these two young women should be released immediately."

The statement was picked up by press all over the world, and immediately confusion set in. We had just been in the secretary's office discussing the importance of not antagonizing North Korea's leadership, and I didn't know where the idea that the charges were baseless came from. The secretary was calling into question North Korea's legal system. Since words mean everything in North Korea, we wondered what this might do to our case.

Our family had been ultracautious in our choice of language when discussing anything about North Korea. Deferential, respectful, Deferential, respectful, and and ingratiatory ingratiatory were the words we lived by. We desperately hoped the North Koreans would not take offense at the secretary's remarks and set us back. But the idea of a release before the June 4 trial date was looking dim. were the words we lived by. We desperately hoped the North Koreans would not take offense at the secretary's remarks and set us back. But the idea of a release before the June 4 trial date was looking dim.

CHAPTER SIX.

the phone call LAURA.

ONE COLD, DRIZZLY AFTERNOON, Mr. Yee and Mr. Baek showed up at my room, and Mr. Yee gave the nod that I knew meant he wanted to go outside for a walk. I put on a black parka that had been provided for me and followed them outdoors. Mr. Yee did not seem himself. His face was flushed and his eyes were glazed. I thought he might be inebriated.

"Is there any news?" I asked.

"I'd tell you if there was any news." His voice had a nasal sound, and he seemed congested.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling sick?" I asked sympathetically.

"Of course I am not okay. Do you think I like being in detention? You are not the only one in detention, you know. As long as you are here, I have to be here, and he has to be here." He pointed to Mr. Baek.

"I'm so sorry. I really wish you could go home, that we could all go home. I know my actions have affected a lot of people, and I feel terrible about that."

"Your government, I just don't understand them. Your black president"-he often referred to President Obama with those words-"he doesn't seem to care about you."

"So what do you think is going to happen?" I asked nervously.

"I've been drinking today," he said. "Do you know why I've been drinking?"

I shook my head.

"I was very upset today because I thought that by now your government would have done something. Every day, my bosses tell me to wrap up this case so they can put you on trial. I've been dragging things along so your government might act. But now it's too late."

"What do you mean it's too late? What's going to happen to me?"

"You will be going to trial."

"Does that mean there's no hope left? Will I be going to a labor camp?"

"Don't worry. It won't be for very long."

"But you said that even the U.S. media is reporting that we'll receive a harsh sentence if we go to trial."

"You will be given a long sentence, but you'll probably only serve for a year or two before your government finally decides to act."

"What? A year or two? I can't be here for that long. I won't last. I won't survive!"

"Don't be silly. You'll be fine. It will be good for you. It will make you tougher. Nelson Mandela was in prison for twenty-seven years."

I was in shock. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and my legs began to buckle underneath me. I crouched to the ground to regain my balance. The rain was pouring down around us. I couldn't fully comprehend what he was telling me. Had the North Korean authorities decided it was too late to work out something with my government?

"Don't be like that. Get up. You have me, your big brother here," he said trying to console me. "Let's go inside."

He escorted me back to my room and turned away to leave. As he did, Mr. Baek translated his words: "I really wish I could communicate with you." I could tell there was more he wanted to say, but he couldn't with Mr. Baek around.

I looked at Mr. Baek and asked him if he knew what was happening.

"Laura, have you heard the saying 'There's truth in wine'? It means the truth comes out when you've been drinking. I think he's telling you the truth."

"It can't be true," I protested. "I can't go to prison. I need to see my family."

"I'm so sorry," he said with downcast eyes. "You really are here at the worst possible time. Relations between our countries haven't been this bad since the Korean War."

I retreated to a corner in my room, curled myself up into a ball on the floor, and wept uncontrollably. A few days later, I was informed that a trial had been set for early June. I was also told that I would be allowed a second visit with Amba.s.sador Foyer, and that I could give him the letters for my family and bosses at Current TV.

When we arrived at the Yanggakdo Hotel, I was led to the same floor where I'd met him before. It was May 15. A month and a half had pa.s.sed since my first meeting with the amba.s.sador. During that time, I'd been grilled over and over by Mr. Yee and had confessed to attempting to bring down the North Korean government. Now I was set to stand before a judge in court.

Pictures of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il seemed to be watching my every move. There were several small conference rooms, and I was taken inside one of them and told I would wait for about fifteen minutes. I could hear the amba.s.sador's voice outside in the hallway. He was being led into one of the other conference rooms, and I suspected Euna must be meeting with him first. Imagining Euna in the same building as me, perhaps just one or two doors down, made me feel jittery and emotional. I wanted desperately to see her, to run out of the room and hold her.

When Amba.s.sador Foyer finally came into the room, I felt like I was being reunited with a long lost family member, even though I'd met him only once before. I could see he was searching me with his eyes to get a sense of my physical condition. Knowing that this meeting was critical and that I might not get another chance to see him, I repeatedly spoke of the need for urgent action to avert the trial.

"I know that if we go to trial the sentencing will be very harsh," I said, trying to hold back tears and maintain my composure.

The amba.s.sador looked at me rea.s.suringly and said in his soft-spoken voice, "You should understand that a trial is not necessarily a bad thing. It is part of a process."

"But, Amba.s.sador, they are going to send us to prison for a very, very long time, perhaps for most of our lives. Please try to see if my government can do something before the trial."

"Laura, a number isn't always what it means, remember that," he responded. He said he was requesting that he be present at the trial.

I handed him an envelope containing my letters and hugged him tightly before being escorted out of the room.

LISA.

IT WAS TWO MONTHS to the day since Laura and Euna were captured, the morning of May 15. I was driving to the gym when my BlackBerry buzzed with a message. It was an e-mail from Linda, and it had an attachment. The subject line read: "letter from Laura." I pulled over to the side of the road, parked my car, and then hit to the day since Laura and Euna were captured, the morning of May 15. I was driving to the gym when my BlackBerry buzzed with a message. It was an e-mail from Linda, and it had an attachment. The subject line read: "letter from Laura." I pulled over to the side of the road, parked my car, and then hit DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT. As it was opening, I could see a scan of a handwritten letter. It was Laura's writing! I was too excited to go to the gym and turned my car around to head home; I had to open the letter on my computer.

Linda's e-mail said Laura had given the letter to Amba.s.sador Foyer. It was my first real contact with my sister in eight weeks. Laura had actually been able to get five letters out through the amba.s.sador: one to Joel Hyatt of Current TV, one to her colleagues, one to Iain, one to our parents, and one to me. The content of the letters varied greatly. To Hyatt, Laura urged the need for diplomatic intervention and asked if he could get Vice President Gore to help. She didn't know that Gore was already involved. To Iain, Laura apologized for making work such a priority. She wrote, "If I'm lucky enough to come home, I promise, no more traveling for me."

To our parents, Laura wrote that she was okay. She said she was being treated fairly and asked them not to worry about her and to take care of themselves. She also wrote eloquently about how she spent her days.

...When I first got here, I cried so much. Now I cry less. I breathe deeply and think about the positive things that happened in the day. For example, I think, "I'm lucky I've gotten through another day," "I'm lucky I'm not in prison," "I'm lucky I saw a b.u.t.terfly."...Each night I am thankful to have gotten through another day. And each day when I wake up, I hope it is bringing me closer to home...Stay strong and please take care of yourselves. That is my biggest request. Know that I am doing okay and dreaming about being reunited with you all again....

The letter to me was more urgent.

...As I'm sure you know, I am in the worst possible situation. I have confessed to some very serious crimes that are regarded as hostile actions toward the DPRK. And while I have expressed my deepest regret for my wrongdoings, I'm not sure it will be enough to send me home anytime soon. I am scared.I am desperately hoping that some sort of serious diplomatic intervention by the U.S. government can be made before our cases go to trial. I fear that if something at a higher level is not done soon, I will find myself serving a very long prison sentence. That is a thought that is too hard to bear.I love you so much, Li. You've looked out for me my entire life. I am so fortunate to have such an amazing big sister. I know the whole family leans on you for support. Be strong....

The difference in the letters was a window into my relationship with Laura. She didn't want to worry our parents, who she knew were already devastated and petrified. I imagined my sister in a room alone, filled with stress over the right language to employ in her first communication to her family. It was painful to think about Laura nervously but methodically trying to think of the exact words to use. I could see her penning the letters using her left hand, and I thought about the days when we were kids and our grandmother used to try to force her to use her right hand. She just couldn't. Laura was born a leftie and would always stay that way, to our grandma's chagrin.

I know she was scared. I could see the fear in her perfectly written letters. This was her only way to reach me, and she needed me to understand the seriousness of her situation. Laura knew that among our family members, I was the one who could possibly move the needle. I had connections in the political world and in media, and Laura knew I would not give up until I got her out of there.

Mom was continuing to leave highly emotional phone messages and send correspondence to Minister Kim at North Korea's Permanent Mission to the United Nations, also known as the "New York channel." To her great surprise, on one occasion Minister Kim actually picked up the phone. He expressed his regret for what was happening, but he told Mom that my sister's situation was not in his hands, rather in those in Pyongyang. She said he seemed genuinely regretful and she made a point of saying that he actually sounded like a kind man. Nevertheless, the next day and every day thereafter, Mom followed up with a letter, fax, e-mail, and call to him.

Meanwhile, the political situation on the Korean Peninsula was growing worse and worse. North Korea was threatening to test a nuclear device for the second time in its history. In response, the global community, led by the United States, warned of severe consequences should it go through with its intended actions.

On May 25, the U.S. Geological Survey reported a 4.7-magnitude quake in the northeastern part of North Korea, around the town of Kilju. Geological agencies in both South Korea and the United States said the tremor indicated a nuclear explosion. North Korea had made good on its declaration to resume its nuclear program and had tested a nuclear device.

President Obama immediately issued a strongly worded statement charging that North Korea's pursuit of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles threatened peace and was in "blatant defiance of the United Nations Security Council." He went on to say: "The danger posed by North Korea's threatening activities warrants action by the international community. We have been and will continue working with our allies and partners in the six-party talks as well as other members of the UN Security Council in the days ahead."

The United States was not alone in lambasting North Korea for its alleged defiance of the world powers. French officials said they would push for new sanctions. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown called the test a "danger to the world." Russian authorities compared the power of North Korea's bomb to that which obliterated Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and its foreign ministry called the explosion "a serious blow to international efforts to prevent the spread of nuclear weapons." Even Pyongyang's more frequent defender, China, said it was "resolutely opposed" to the test.

The United Nations Security Council immediately convened another emergency session. But this time, few believed that sanctions would not be imminent. North Korea seemed to be defying the whole world, including its allies, by its acts of purported aggression. This was one of the tensest periods ever in U.S.North Korean relations. Never before had both China and Russia made such public condemnations of their Communist ally. My sister was in the middle of a full-blown nuclear standoff.

LAURA.

EVEN AFTER I I HAD HAD made the confession the North Koreans wanted, the investigation continued with more questions about our doc.u.mentary project. Now Mr. Yee wanted to know about the Internet s.e.x worker we'd interviewed at our hotel. I told him what I asked her and how she responded. I also gave him a general description of her appearance. "She's a little shorter than me, with long black hair. She wore black boots and a white jacket and had on a lot of makeup. I would guess she's probably in her midtwenties." I could have been talking about half the girls in China. But whenever he asked me for the names of sources and interview subjects, I always gave the same answer: "I don't recall her name. I just referred to everyone as 'Sir' or 'Miss.'" made the confession the North Koreans wanted, the investigation continued with more questions about our doc.u.mentary project. Now Mr. Yee wanted to know about the Internet s.e.x worker we'd interviewed at our hotel. I told him what I asked her and how she responded. I also gave him a general description of her appearance. "She's a little shorter than me, with long black hair. She wore black boots and a white jacket and had on a lot of makeup. I would guess she's probably in her midtwenties." I could have been talking about half the girls in China. But whenever he asked me for the names of sources and interview subjects, I always gave the same answer: "I don't recall her name. I just referred to everyone as 'Sir' or 'Miss.'"

My unwillingness to cooperate about names of sources angered him, but for me it was not an option to put these people in any more jeopardy than they were already in. The only name I volunteered was that of Andrei Lankov, whom we had interviewed in Seoul. Mr. Lankov is a well-known authority on North Korea who has written lengthy papers about it and speaks publicly about his research. I knew they would not be happy that we'd spoken to him, because of some of his critical a.s.sessments, but I wanted to give them at least one name, and I knew Lankov would not be in any danger. I wanted to seem as if I was cooperating to the best of my ability.

One day Mr. Yee brought in the pocket-sized tan notebook I'd been carrying during the trip.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Did you use it to write down any notes during this trip?"

I knew I needed to admit to destroying and tampering with evidence when Euna and I were at one of the detention facilities along the border. I told Mr. Yee what we'd done, including swallowing the sheets from my notebook. He flipped through the pages and saw some notes I had jotted down from previous a.s.signments. One page had the name Rory Reid and a list of questions that I had asked Reid, the chairman of the Clark County Commission in Nevada, during an interview I conducted about the declining economy of Las Vegas.

"If you've written his name down, you must have written the names of the people you interviewed in China," he charged.

"Sir, I knew the report about defectors was sensitive in both China and North Korea. That's why I didn't doc.u.ment anyone's names. I didn't want to endanger anyone."

I was telling the truth. The only names I had in my notebook were Pastor Chun's and Andrei Lankov's. The notes I'd destroyed were for the interviews with Chun and Lankov, and they had to do with the regime's stability and whether it would survive for very long. I knew such questions would infuriate the authorities. So while it didn't look good that we had gotten rid of the pages, I felt glad we had.

Part of the investigation required me to submit a written confession of what I had conveyed to Mr. Yee in our daily sessions. The confession had to be written neatly-if I made any mistakes, or crossed out any words because of a misspelling, Mr. Yee would make me rewrite the page. I ended up penning a draft and then copying it again in perfect handwriting. Over the course of a week, I wrote more than one hundred pages, sixty-five of which were part of the final confession doc.u.ment. I woke up in the morning and wrote throughout the day.

One afternoon, as I was hunched over the desk in the guards' room with pen in hand, Min-Jin walked over and handed me a few pieces of candy. "Don't tell the other guard," she said. Touched by this gesture, I slipped the round, sugary ball into my mouth. When Hyung-Yee entered the room, I quickly put the candies in my coat pocket and went back to my writing. Soon after, Min-Jin left the room to take a break, and I was left with Hyung-Yee.

While Hyung-Yee did not speak any English, we still found ways to communicate on a certain level. She was a sweet, lighthearted girl who took pleasure in singing patriotic anthems at the top of her lungs. Sometimes I would catch her mimicking me. If I coughed, she coughed. When I sighed in desperation, she sighed. I'd snap my fingers and she'd follow along. She never continued with these antics for very long, just long enough for us to share in a moment of amus.e.m.e.nt.