Soldiers Three Volume I Part 26

CAPT. G. O _bus! bus!_ It'll make me as drunk as an owl.

CAPT. M. Curious thing, 'twon't have the slightest effect on you. Drink it off, chuck yourself down there, and go to bye-bye.

CAPT. G. It's absurd. I shan't sleep. I _know_ I shan't!

_Falls into heavy doze at end of seven minutes_. CAPT. M.

_watches him tenderly_.

CAPT. M. Poor old Gaddy! I've seen a few turned off before, but never one who went to the gallows in this condition. 'Can't tell how it affects 'em, though. It's the thoroughbreds that sweat when they're backed into double-harness.-And that's the man who went through the guns at Amdheran like a devil possessed of devils. (_Leans over_ G.) But this is worse than the guns, old pal--worse than the guns, isn't it?

(G. t_urns in his sleep, and M. touches him clumsily on the forehead_.) Poor, dear old Gaddy! Going like the rest of 'em-going like the rest of 'em---Friend that sticketh closer than a brother---eight years. Dashed bit of a slip of a girl-eight weeks! And-where's your friend? (_Smokes disconsolately till church clock strikes three_.)

CAPT. M. Up with you! Get into your kit.

CAPT. G. Already? Isn't it too soon? Hadn't I better have a shave?

CAPT. M. NO! You're all right. (_Aside_.) He'd chip his chin to pieces.

CAPT. G. What's the hurry?

CAPT. M. You've got to be there first.

CAPT. G. To be stared at?

CAPT. M. Exactly. You're part of the show. Where's the burnisher? Your spurs are in a shameful state.

CAPT. G. (_Gruffly_) Jack, I be d.a.m.ned if you shall do that for me.

CAPT. M. (_More gruffly._) Dry up and get dressed! If I choose to clean your spurs, you're under _my_ orders.

CAPT. G. _dresses_. M. _follows suit._

CAPT. M. (_Critically, walking round._) M'yes, you'll do. Only don't look so like a criminal. Ring, gloves, fees--that's all right for me.

Let your moustache alone. Now, if the ponies are ready, we'll go.

CAPT. G. (_Nervously._) It's much too soon. Let's light up! Let's have a peg! Let's--

CAPT. M. Let's make bally a.s.ses of ourselves!

BELLS. (_Without._)--

'Good--peo--ple--all To prayers--we call."

CAPT. M. There go the bells! Come on--unless you'd rather not. (_They ride off._)

BELLS.--

'We honour the King And Brides joy do bring-- Good tidings we tell, And ring the Dead's knell.'

CAPT. G. (_Dismounting at the door of the Church._) I say, aren't we much too soon? There are no end of people inside. I say, aren't we much too late? Stick by me, Jack! What the devil do I do?

CAPT. M. Strike an att.i.tude at the head of the aisle and wait for Her. (G. _groans as_ M. _wheels him into position before three hundred eyes._)

CAPT. M. (_Imploringly._) Gaddy, if you love me, for pity's sake, for the Honour of the Regiment, stand up! Chuck yourself into your uniform!

Look like a man! I've got to speak to the Padre a minute. (G. _breaks into a gentle perspiration._) If you wipe your face I'll _never_ be your best man again. Stand _up!_ (G. _trembles visibly._)

CAPT. M. (_Returning._) She's coming now. Look out when the music starts. There's the organ beginning to clack.

_Bride steps out of 'rickshaw at Church door._ G. _catches a glimpse of her and takes heart._

ORGAN.--

'The Voice that breathed o'er Eden, That earliest marriage day, The primal marriage-blessing, It hath not pa.s.sed away.'

CAPT. M. (_Watching_ G.) By Jove! He _is_ looking well. 'Didn't think he had it in him.

CAPT. G. How long does this hymn go on for?

CAPT. M. It will be over directly. (_Anxiously._) Beginning to bleach and gulp? Hold on, Gaddy, and think o' the Regiment.

CAPT. G. (_Measuredly._) I say, there's a big brown lizard crawling up that wall.

CAPT. M. My Sainted Mother! The last stage of collapse!

_Bride comes up to left of altar, lifts her eyes once to_ G. _who is suddenly smitten mad._

CAPT. G. (_To himself again and again._) Little Featherweight's a woman--a woman! And I thought she was a little girl.

CAPT. M. (_In a whisper._) Form the halt--inward _wheel._

CAPT. G. _obeys mechanically and the ceremony proceeds._

PADRE. . . . only unto her as long as ye both shall live?

CAPT. G. (_His throat useless._) Ha-hmmm!

CAPT. M. Say you will or you won't. There's no second deal here.

_Bride gives response with perfect coolness, and is given away by the father._

CAPT. G. (_Thinking to show his learning._) Jack, give me away now, _quick!_

CAPT. M. You're given yourself away quite enough. Her _right_ hand, man!

Repeat! Repeat! 'Theodore Philip.' Have you forgotten your own name?

CAPT. G. _stumbles through Affirmation, which Bride repeats without a tremor._

CAPT. M. Now the ring! Follow the Padre! Don't pull off my glove! Here it is! Great Cupid, he's found his voice!

G. _repeats Troth in a voice to be heard to the end of the Church and turns on his heel._