Society Playboys: Playboy Assistant Part 16

Toni rubbed her hands together, taking in the full sight of her mother on the cushioned lounge chaise perched nearly over the crisp blue swimming pool in her River Oaks backyard. The two-acre backyard was a good size for the neighborhood.

"Are you too cold?" It was evening-after eight-and not cool at all. In fact, it was still ninety degrees. Toni had cut dinner short to speak to her mother. She gazed at her mother with debilitating sadness as she lay on the lounge chair, wrapped in a light gauze throw.

Her mother waved her hand away. "I won't get to see this much longer."

Toni's stomach rippled, vomit bubbling up inside her. She might actually hurl herself into the pool. So much to say to her mother, so little time. So little strength to actually pull it off. "I've really enjoyed working at RI the last month. I feel like I could make it permanent."

Though her large framed sungla.s.ses hid her eyes, Toni knew her mother's intense gaze pierced her. "Now, why on earth would you want to do that?"

"Well, I do have an MBA from Rice, Mother."

An odd smile pulled at her mother's thin skin. "Yes, darling. All the women in this family have an advanced degree. You know my MBA is from Harvard."

"Where you met Daddy." It was a pinch to Toni's heart, reminding her what a lovely man her father was. G.o.d, she missed him.

"Yes. Just like you met Stephan at Rice." The smile faded, followed by a cough.

Toni's gaze dropped again to her thighs against the lounge chair. Dread and all those s.h.i.tty feelings took up residence inside her. How in the living h.e.l.l was she supposed to broach the subject of being CEO to her mother? Not to mention the fact that she was with Fabian, not Stephan. But she was a grown woman now, not the little girl who was told when to sit and cross her legs and when to sip her tea. Screw this.

"Mom ... I want to be CEO." There, she said it with a wavering voice maybe, but it was out there. Words to the ears that needed to hear it.

From under the sungla.s.ses, her mother's arched eyebrow lifted. The pool lighting gave her an otherworldly effect. She didn't say anything for ages, which made Toni feel she hadn't heard her. She even considered saying it again, but her mother finally spoke.

"Stephan is my choice to run RI after I'm gone, Antonia. I've already told you this."

It was now or never. "What about me, Mom? Did I go to Rice for nothing?" Her throat ached with the words that came out. Finally. Tears came out too. As she stared at the reflection of her mother's sungla.s.ses, Toni felt guilty about challenging her mother's last wish. How cruel of a daughter was she?

Her mother remained calm as ever. "Not for nothing, silly girl. For legacy. The women in the Robuchon family are well educated. Look at Grandmother Robuchon. She was a medical doctor, educated at Oxford. Didn't practice a day in her life." She shook her head, the scarf wrapped around her head waved with the motion. "You knew what you'd be, darling, and that is married to a Bradley. The most powerful family in Houston. I dare to say Texas. It's been an agreement for a long time."

"Mr. Pallis is powerful too." Toni hoped she didn't reveal too much. Maybe that was exactly what she wanted to do, though.

Her mother's left brow lifted again. "Are you speaking of big Pallis or little Pallis?"

Toni could barely meet her mother's stare now that she'd taken off her sungla.s.ses. Even the threat of imminent death couldn't soften the edge in her eyes. In a broken, tortured voice-much like her poor heart beating wildly in her chest-she confessed, "I don't want to marry Stephan."

Her mother grunted, followed by a violent spell of coughing that sent her medical aid, Ms. Keller, into action. Toni's mother waved her away with a sharp swipe. "You can leave me, Ms. Keller. I'm managing." She coughed again. "Stephan is perfect, and you could do worse. Obviously, you have, but I won't let you."

"Mom-" Toni stood, ready to corral her mother if she kept coughing like that. The sight made her feel ill.

"No." It was a harsh one syllable word. Toni glanced to the nurse who reluctantly nodded and left the poolside. "Sit down, Antonia. This death is playing with me. Your father must be having a good laugh up there."

"Mom, please..." She couldn't manage much after that.

"I want to see him, you know. I want this to be over so I can see him again. Is it so hard to have my one last wish, Antonia?"

Toni sucked in her stomach. She knew what her mother meant. Every word. She'd struggled with it since before Fabian had come into her life. Toni shifted her blurry gaze to her fingers woven together in her lap.

"Oh, don't look like that. Like a whipped dog. That has always been your problem."

The words cut her, deep and painful. Her mother shredded her. Is that what she thought of her daughter? A whipped dog? Toni wanted to shout. To defy her mother.

"Leave now. I need to rest." Toni stood slow and steady, so many words at the brim of her lips desperate to spill out. Her mother added, "I hope you can sort out your situation before Stephan proposes, which will be soon, I suspect."

"What?" Her body stilled. Oh, G.o.d, no!

"And fire Pallis. He needs to move on." She turned from Toni, calling to her nurse.

"But it's only been two weeks." Toni shut her eyes, caught between anger and debilitating sorrow. How could she face Fabian after this? How would she tell him?

"He's done enough damage."

Chapter Twenty-One.

Tuesday morning came around with no response from Toni the night before. Fabian had texted her, anxious to know what happened at her dinner-her forced dinner. He'd never felt so out of control in his life. It was killing him slowly.

He arrived at Toni's penthouse, grateful that concierge had let him up without any problems. "Thanks, man," he said, striding to the elevator banks with too much energy fueling him. Everything around him played out in slow motion, yet also fast forward. He didn't have a good feeling about anything anymore. All the way up to the top floor, his thoughts shot forth in all directions. When he finally stood in front of her door, his mind went blank.

Toni opened the door after a few knocks. Her eyes looked different, distant. Fabian reached for her, hugging her though not getting back the same intensity. Something was wrong. "Baby?"

She pulled away from him, walking quickly into the living room with him on her heels. Still in her robe, she paced and when she was near him again, she said, "What do we really know about each other? We're practically strangers."

His heart dropped to his stomach. Shaking his head, he said, "We aren't."

She turned away from him again. "We are. You don't know three things about me."

A second hadn't pa.s.sed before he was behind her, heat rising up his face as he spoke. "Oh, I don't? Really?" She turned to face him, her eyes blazing. He continued on pure adrenaline alone because he couldn't handle her running away from him anymore. He was ready to fight. "I know you're afraid of yourself."

"What?" Her eyes betrayed her. He nailed it and she knew it. "That's just stupid. I'm not afraid of myself."

"You're not?" He pointed at her. Clearly, she wasn't a fan of it as she swatted his finger away. "You've been told who you're supposed to be since birth and you don't trust yourself to be who you really are. That's why you're basically a mini-Helene, commanding and demanding. You don't even like to do it, I see through that act. And I know you can't possibly be so G.o.dd.a.m.n particular about your coffee. Give me a break! One cup of organic skim milk and a tablespoon of cane sugar? Get the h.e.l.l out of here with that bulls.h.i.t!"

"Don't put your finger in my face!" She slapped his hand again, that time a low smack reverberated through the air. The woman could swing. The sting of her skin stayed on his hand a few seconds longer. She turned away. Fabian wasn't sure if she needed to take a breath or cry. Her expression implied she might do both, and he felt the exact same way. He advanced to her, but as much as he wanted to take her, hold her, he didn't. She probably wouldn't let him anyway.

She turned to face him again, unwavering determination set in her dark eyes. "And you're really one to talk about trusting yourself."

His jaw clenched. It was war now. "What the h.e.l.l are you talking about? I trust myself just fine. I'm not the one running away."

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Little did she know her nipple poked out from under her arm. If he wasn't so p.i.s.sed, he'd have paid more attention to it. Her words practically lunged at him, though. "Yeah, whatever, trust fund brat!"

Her words punched him in the gut. All the air squeezed out of him. His vision blurred the microseconds he let that statement destroy him. "What did you call me?"

In that moment, she was reflecting the worse of himself. They both knew it. "You heard me, Pallis. If you trusted yourself at all, you wouldn't be living off your trust fund with no direction in your life. I mean, let's be honest, are you really going to be a partner at your dad's firm?"

He was stunned, shot in the heart. He might want to vomit a little, but that wasn't a manly thing to do. Fabian gathered his thoughts. They oscillated between agony and sheer anger. Not toward Toni, but toward himself. With all this spinning through his mind, he only managed, "I will be."

"Right." G.o.d, she was so smug with that one word. A word he normally liked. Not that time.

He decided to bring out a bigger gun. "So why are you acting CEO, then? Oh, right, because you're one big phony actress! You told me yourself you want to be the actual CEO, but you're too chicken-s.h.i.t to go for it on your terms because you don't believe in yourself. If you actually believed you had anything to offer, you wouldn't let your mother or Stephan dictate your life like some G.o.dd.a.m.n puppet-master. Or take your ideas. If you believed in yourself at all, you would demand respect from those execs who treat you like s.h.i.t. I know you're just as smart as they are, but you're too afraid to see that you have what it takes. You're afraid to fail. To be the bad daughter. The bad fiancee. To be you, d.a.m.n it!"

Now it was her turn to look like she'd been hit by a bus. Tear-filled eyes turned up to him, wide with the pain she felt. They stared for a long time, too long, without any words. They didn't need words. Finally, she shook her head. "You might think you're strong because you won't let a woman into your heart. But that's weak."

The air caught in his throat. He reached for her. "I have, Toni. You." She pulled from him. "I'm not weak. I'm showing you I'm not. Isn't that enough?"

"No."

The words wouldn't come. They were like sounds whirling in his mind that he couldn't string together. "I don't understand what's happening here. What are you saying?"

She didn't touch him, only kneaded his insides with her stare. "It's over."

He was right. Everything Fabian said to her was spot-on, and she didn't know how to reconcile her ability to continue the lie. She sat in the back of the Robuchon limo, Miles's gaze catching hers at times from the rearview mirror.

d.a.m.n it. Why did everything have to be so hard? She glanced down to her clenching fingers. She didn't want this life. But it was what her mother wanted, and how could she say no to her last parent? She'd do anything to have her father again...

"Miles, will you take me to Melina's?" Toni couldn't go to the office. She was too raw with emotion to face her acting gig. And Fabian.

His eyes met hers again. "Of course."

Toni pulled out her cell phone. She typed with fast fingers.

Toni: Mel, are you home today? I need to talk ASAP.

A response lit up the phone.

Mel: OMG what's wrong? Come over.

Toni: OMW Twenty minutes later, Melina opened the door, dressed in a pair of dark denim pants and a fitted white blouse. "Toni?" Melina's gaze searched Toni's face. "Oh, honey, what happened?"

Toni shoved her way into the apartment, heading for the stash of vodka Melina kept in her freezer. Maybe it was only eight in the morning in Houston, but it was five in the evening somewhere else.

"Sorry," she said, once she'd poured herself a gla.s.sful.

"You're fine. Drink as much as you want." Melina leaned against the counter. "What happened?"

"I think I'm in love." The big gulp of vodka burned down each centimeter of her throat. Melina's eyes widened, but she didn't speak. Thank G.o.d. Toni hoped she wouldn't. "And it's with the wrong person." Well, to her mother it was the wrong person. To Toni, Fabian was the absolute right person.

Melina grabbed the bottle and took a swig nearly as large as the one Toni took. After each woman indulged in another swig, Melina spoke, a gleam in her brown eyes. "It's Fabian, isn't it?"

Toni fell against the counter, the hard edge catching her hipbone. "I'm so screwed."

"Why?" Melina's question proved she had no idea the kind of duty Toni had to her family. To society.

Toni knew she had to come clean about everything. Her mother. Her life. She didn't want to fool anyone anymore, especially not her best friend. "There is so much required to live my life. To wear those couture dresses ... the price is high. And I don't want to pay anymore."

Melina's eyebrows creased. "What do you mean?"

"Mom wants me to marry Stephan."

She tried not to gasp. "You can just tell her you're in love with Fabian, can't you?"

Toni shook her head. If only it were that easy. "No. I can't. It's an agreement between the families."

"What?" Melina seemed appalled by the archaic concept.

"This world I live in is just one big business transaction. It's like a f.u.c.king corporation. I'm just a commodity." She cried then, the tears rushing down. Some dropped on her fingers gripping the gla.s.s nearly empty of vodka.

"I don't understand..."

It was time to say it out loud to someone else. Toni put the gla.s.s down and looked her friend square in the eyes. "My mom is dying. She has cancer."

Melina gasped, reaching for Toni again, though pulled back when Toni wouldn't allow her embrace. A broken whisper filled the s.p.a.ce between them. "I'm so sorry."

Though she'd known for two months, the truth still left Toni paralyzed. Her mom was going to die, and it could be sooner rather than later. Her children would never know their grandparents. If she had any. Fabian came to mind in that very real and fleeting thought. She couldn't be sidetracked by all the things that would never happen. She sucked in a breath. "She's not going to last long, and that's why she appointed me to take her place at Robuchon Investments while she gets a proper CEO in place. A family member, by blood or marriage." The words killed her.

Melina's fingers flew to her mouth, her eyes shining with unshed. "I just don't know what to say."

Toni took the bottle, brought it to her lips and drank. Screw the gla.s.s. She stared down to her Valentino shoes, a cruel reminder. "She wants Stephan to be CEO." The words tasted as strong in her mouth as the ice cold vodka. But she felt sad after the truth came out, not numb like she'd hoped.

"Why not you?"

Toni wiped her cheeks again and again with her fingertips. "I'm not supposed to be a CEO. I'm supposed to be the trophy wife of a CEO."

Melina squinted-she didn't believe that s.h.i.t.

Toni shook her head, and in a whisper confessed her desire. "But I want to be CEO. I want my mom to believe I can be the right CEO for RI. I know I can do it." She actually didn't until Fabian believed for her. He gave her the strength she needed to say what she wanted and believe it might be possible, even if something stood in the way. For that, she would always be grateful. And love him.

Melina took Toni in her arms, squeezing tight like it would be the last time they would embrace. Melina trembled as she held her friend. In a whisper, she said, "Tell her. Tell her it can be you."

"She's dying, Mel. I can't deny her. It's her last wish. How can I go against that? How can I?" She was feeling hysterical at that point, emotions rolling through her, making her dizzy-or maybe it was the vodka. Maybe it was the possibility that she would never have Fabian again. Worse was the reality that she would never have her own life.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Tuesday pa.s.sed and not a word from Toni. She hadn't made it to the office, which Fabian wasn't totally surprised about. He wondered how he was able to make it in after she'd dumped him. Their relationship had barely started, and so quickly it was over. Over before it began. Something else was going on. It had to be. What else could change her heart so quickly? Up until that morning, he thought things were going well. He'd thought they were on the same page.

Maybe he was wrong. Obviously, he was.