Skinner's Dress Suit Part 6

Skinner found Mrs. Crawford most engaging. She was neither haughty nor full of the pedantry with which social leaders try to disabuse the mind of the ordinary citizen that the rich must necessarily be dubs. Twenty minutes later, Deacon Crawford came up and Skinner was presented.

"I'm mighty glad to know you, Mr. Skinner," said the deacon. "Some views I heard you expressing just now were quite in accord with my own."

Skinner left the Crawfords presently with his head in the clouds. But he was brought down to earth by some one plucking him by the sleeve.

"Gee, Skinner, where did you get it?" said Allison, who stood there in a sack suit, grinning.

"Like it?" said Skinner, pleased.

"You bet! It's a Jim Lulu!"

"My wife made me get it," said Skinner, winking at Allison.

"Well, I hope you'll continue to recognize us," said Allison--and Skinner again felt the touch of envy, but he did n't like it, for Skinner was no sn.o.b.

As Skinner and Honey were departing, Lewis touched him on the arm.

"We'll drop you and Mrs. Skinner at the house," he said. "We've plenty of room in our car."

The Lewises and the Skinners bade each other a very cordial, if not affectionate, good-night when Lewis's car pulled up at Skinner's door.

"Can you beat it?" said the "cage man" as they closed the door behind them. "Lewis has scarcely noticed me for two years."

"It was the dress suit, Dearie."

"It's earned a dollar and a half already."

"How?" said Honey, surprised.

"Cab fare! Say, I'm going to keep an account of what this dress suit actually cost me and what it brings in," said Skinner.

"And to think of it, Dearie,--it's all because of your getting that raise."

Honey laid her head on Dearie's shoulder, as she always did when she felt sentimental.

"Eh-huh," said Skinner absently.

"I'm so grateful to think you got it--I just couldn't help telling Mrs.

McLaughlin--"

"Huh?" Skinner interrupted. "You did n't mention that raise to Mrs.

McLaughlin, did you?"

"Why should n't I?"

"But _did_ you?" said Skinner, with apprehension.

"Why, no. I simply told her I was so grateful for the mark of appreciation they'd shown!"

"And what did Mrs. McLaughlin say?"

"She asked me what I meant."

"And what did _you_ say?"

"I told her her husband would understand and I wanted him to know just how I felt about it."

"The devil you did," said Skinner.

True to his word, Skinner proceeded to keep a little book marked "Dress-Suit Account." He was probably the only man, he reflected, who had ever done such a thing, and he did it at first more as a joke than anything else. But he found that the "Dress-Suit Account" developed serious as well as humorous possibilities. He first entered carefully, item by item, the cost of the dress suit and its accessories.

_Dress-Suit Account_

_Debit_ _Credit_

Dress suit ......... $90.00 Dress shirt ........ 4.00 Tie ................ .50 Collar ............. .25 Shoes .............. 6.00 Gloves ............. 1.50 Studs and cuff-links 4.00 Hat ................ 6.00 Overcoat ........... 40.00 Hose ............... .50 Garters ............ .50 Underwear .......... 8.00 Monocle chain ...... 1.50 -------- Total .............. $162.75

To that he added the cost of Honey's outfit:

_Debit_ _Credit_

Gown ............... $100.00 Underwear .......... 10.00 Hose ............... 3.00 Corset ............. 15.00 Slippers ........... 10.00 Wrap ............... 50.00 Gloves ............. 4.00 -------- Total .............. $192.00

Explanatory comment: Honey's outfit not directly descended from, but collaterally related to "Dress-Suit Account"--an inevitable expenditure.

Skinner noted that everything was on the debit side until the night of the First Presbyterian reception. Then he put down:--

_Dress-Suit Account_

_Debit_ _Credit_

Beginning of social education.

And he did n't neglect to add the relatively unimportant item:--

_Debit_ _Credit_

Cab fare saved: $1.50.

From that time on, both debit and credit items were put down as they occurred to Skinner.

While Skinner was thus directly concerned with the dress-suit account, that potent affair was rapidly developing ramifications in an unsuspected direction.

"I say, Perk," said McLaughlin to the junior partner, the day after the reception, "I saw Skinner and his wife at the First Presbyterian affair in Meadeville last night, and, by jingo, they were all dressed up to the nines."