Six Plays by Lady Florence Henrietta Fisher Darwin Part 63

LIZ. Now do you come in, mister, and have a bit of talk along of we.

JANE. Set down them pails and do as sister says, Mister Jeremy.

[JEREMY looks them all over and then slowly and deliberately sets down his pails.

LIZ. That's right, sister and me was feeling terribly lonesome here this morning.

JANE. And we was wishing as we'd never left home to come among all these stranger folk.

LIZ. Not that we feels you to be a stranger, dear Mister Jeremy.

JANE. You be a plain homely man such as me and sister be accustomed to.

JEREMY. Anything more?

LIZ. I suppose you've put by a tidy bit--seeing as you be of a certain age.

JANE. Although your looks favour you well, don't they, sister?

LIZ. To be sure they do.

JANE. And I reckon as you could set up a home of your own any day, mister.

JEREMY. [Pointing through the window.] See that there roof against the mill?

LIZ. Indeed I do.

JEREMY. That's where I do live.

[Both sisters move quickly to the window.

JANE. A very comfortable looking home indeed.

LIZ. I likes the looks of it better nor this great old house.

JANE. [Archly.] Now I daresay there's but one thing wanted over there, Mister Jeremy.

JEREMY. What's that?

JANE. A good wife to do and manage for you.

JEREMY. I never was done for nor managed by a female yet, and blowed if I will be now.

LIZ. [Shaking her finger at him.] Sister an' me knows what comes of such words, don't us, sister? 'Tis an old saying in our family as one wedding do make a many.

JEREMY. Give me a woman's tongue for foolishness. I've heared a saying too in my family, which be--get a female on to your hearth and 'tis Bedlam straight away.

JANE. Now, sister, did you ever hear the like of that?

LIZ. Us'll have to change his mind for him, Jane.

JEREMY. I reckon 'twould take a rare lot of doing to change that, mistress.

JANE. Bain't you a-goin' to get yourself ready for church soon?

JEREMY. Dashed if I ever heard tell of such foolishness. Who's to mind the place with all the folk gone fiddle-faddling out?

LIZ. There's the man William.

JEREMY. I bain't a-goin' to leave the place to a stranger.

JANE. Why, sister, us'll feel lost and lonesome without mister, shan't us, Liz?

LIZ. That us will. What if us stayed at home and helped to mind the house along of he?

JANE. [Slowly.] And did not put our new gowns upon the backs of we after all the money spent?

JEREMY. Ah, there you be. 'Tis the same with all females.

Creatures of vanity--even if they be got a bit long in the tooth.

'Tis all the same.

[JANE and LIZ draw themselves up, bridling, but LIZ relaxes.

LIZ. He must have his little joke, sister, man-like, you know.

[JOHN enters.]

JOHN. Jerry, and I've been seeking you everywhere. Come you off to the yard. 'Tis as much as we shall do to be ready afore church time.

I never knew you to idle in the house afore.

JEREMY. [Taking up his pails, sarcastically.] 'Twas the females as tempted I, master, but 'twon't occur again, so there. [He hurries off, followed by JOHN.

LIZ. [With dignity.] Us'll go upstairs and dress, sister.

JANE. 'Tis time we did so. All them new-fashioned things be awkward in the fastenings.

[They go upstairs.

[ROBERT and ROSE come in from the garden. ROBERT carries a little card-board box in his hand, which he places on the table. ROSE sits down listlessly on a chair leaning her arms on the table.

ROBERT. [Undoing the box.] This is the bouquet what I promised to bring from town.

ROSE. [Her gaze wandering outside.] Well, we might as well look at it afore I go to dress.

[ROBERT uncovers the box and takes out a small bouquet of white flowers surrounded by a lace frill.

ROSE. [Taking it from him carelessly and raising it to her face.]

Why, they are false ones.