Six Plays by Lady Florence Henrietta Fisher Darwin Part 33

[JOAN looks anxiously across the table at CLARA. Then she drops her spoon and fork and takes up her fan, using it violently whilst GEORGE slowly gets up and opens the door. LORD LOVEL is seen standing on the threshold.

LORD LOVEL. [To GEORGE.] Kindly tell me, my man, is this the farm they call Ox Lease?

GEORGE. Ah, that's right enough.

LORD LOVEL. I'm sorry to break in upon a party like this, but I want to see Miss Clara Spring if she is here.

THOMAS. [Standing up.] You've come at the very moment, master.

This be a giving in marriage supper. And 'tis Miss Clara, what's only sister to me, as is to be wed.

LORD LOVEL. Impossible, my good sir!

THOMAS. Ah, that's it. Miles Hooper, he's the happy man. If you be come by Painswick High Street you'll have seen his name up over the shop door.

LORD LOVEL. Miss Clara--Miles Hooper--No, I can't believe it.

THOMAS. [Pointing towards JOAN and MILES.] There they be--the both of them. Turtle doves on the same branch. You're right welcome, master, to sit down along of we as one of the family on this occasion.

LORD LOVEL. [Looking at JOAN who has suddenly dropped her fan and is leaning back with a look of supplication towards CLARA.] I must have come to the wrong place--that's not the Miss Clara Spring I know.

MILES. [Bending over JOAN.] My sweet Missy has no acquaintance with this gentleman, I am sure.

[LORD LOVEL suddenly turns round and perceives CLARA seated by MAGGIE at the table. He quickly goes towards her, holding out his hand.

LORD LOVEL. Miss Clara. Tell me what is going on. [Looking at her cap and ap.r.o.n.] Why have you dressed yourself like this?

THOMAS. Come, come. There seems to be some sort of a hitch here.

The young gentleman has very likely stopped a bit too long at the Spotted Cow on his way up.

JOAN. [Very faintly, looking at CLARA.] O do you stand by me now.

CLARA. [Lays her hand on LORD LOVEL's arm.] Come with me, my lord.

I think I can explain everything if you will only step outside with me. Come--[She leads him swiftly through the door which GEORGE shuts behind them.]

[JOAN leans back in her chair as though she were going to faint.

THOMAS. Well, now--but that's a smartish wench, getting him out so quiet, like. George, you'd best step after them to see as the young man don't annoy her in any way.

EMILY. That young person can take good care of herself. Sit you down, Thomas and George, and get on with your eating, if you can.

JESSIE. Why did he think Joan was our aunt, mother?

EMILY. 'Cause he was in that state when a man don't know his right leg from his left arm.

GEORGE. [Who has remained standing.] Look you here, Master Thomas-- see here mistress. 'Tis time as there was an end of this cursed play acting, or whatever 'tis called.

EMILY. Play acting there never has been in my house, George, I'd like for you to know.

GEORGE. O yes there have been, mistress. And 'tis time it was finished. [Pointing to JOAN.] You just take and ask that young person what she do mean by tricking herself out in Miss Clara's gowns and what not, and by having herself called by Miss Clara's own name.

MILES. [Taking JOAN'S hand in his.] My sweet Miss must pay no attention to the common fellow. I dare him to speak like that of my little lady bride.

GEORGE. A jay bird in peac.o.c.k's feathers, that's what 'tis. And she's took you all in, the every one of you.

JESSIE. O George, isn't she really our aunt from London?

GEORGE. No, that she baint, Miss Jessie.

THOMAS. Come, come, my lad. I never knew you act so afore.

EMILY. 'Tis clear where he have spent his time this afternoon.

LUKE. Nay, nay, I never did see George inside of the Spotted Cow in all the years I've known of him. George baint made to that shape.

ROBIN. Then who is Aunt Clara, George?

GEORGE. She who be just gone from out of the room, Master Robin, and none other.

THOMAS. Come, George, this talk do sound so foolish.

GEORGE. I can't help that, master. Foolish deeds do call for foolish words, may be.

MILES. My pretty Miss is almost fainting, I declare. [He pours out water for JOAN and bends affectionately over her.] Put the drunken fellow outside and let's have an end of this.

GEORGE. [Advancing.] Yes, us'll have an end to it very shortly.

But I be going to put a straight question to the maid first, and 'tis a straight answer as her'll have to give me in reply.

MILES. Not a word, not a word. Miss is sadly upset by your rude manners.

GEORGE. Do you ask of the young lady but one thing, Master Hooper, and then I'll go when you will.

MILES. Well, my man, what's that?

GEORGE. Do you get her to speak the name as was given she at baptism, Mister Hooper.

MILES. This is madness. My pretty Miss shall not be teased by such a question. Thomas, you'll have to get this stupid fellow locked up, or something.

GEORGE. [Angrily.] Her shall say it, if I stands here all night.

[JOAN suddenly bends forward and hides her face in her hands, her form shaken by violent weeping. The door opens and CLARA enters followed by LORD LOVEL. She has taken off her cap and ap.r.o.n.

JOAN. [Raising her head and stretching out her hands to CLARA.] O speak for me, mistress. Speak for me and help.

CLARA. I am Clara, she is Joan. Thomas, Emily, I pray you to forgive us both for taking you in like this.

THOMAS. Well, I never did hear tell of such a thing.

EMILY. I'm not going to believe a word the young person says.