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Her answer was a blow against his breastbone. It vaguely occurred to him that his perception of Tessa might be-manipulated. What if his intense attraction wasn't real, but something she'd conjured? Could he even trust his mind, his own feelings, anymore?
He wasn't sure.
Frowning deeply, Kenneth cleared his throat. "Are you saying that you put some kind of a spell on me?"
Chapter 5.
Pulse missing a beat, Tessa's breath caught. She was in trouble. The s.h.i.t was definitely hip deep and rising by the second.
By the look on his face, Kenneth Randall wasn't a happy man. The last thing humans wanted to hear was their emotions had been manipulated by an inhuman force.
Her brain raced as she attempted to put the pieces together in a way a human would understand. She'd known when Kenneth brought up that day he was opening a door best left closed.
Closed, and locked tight.
Lying would do no good. She might as well tell the truth. After that, she'd deal with the consequences. She silently chastised herself. Messing around with Mercraft always comes back and bites you on the a.s.s.
Tessa hastened to explain, make an attempt to soothe his ruffled feathers. "I didn't mean to do it. The magic of a Mer's kiss is supposed to break once you come out of the water."
He looked at her strangely, as if measuring her every word for truth. "A mermaid's kiss?" he asked. "I don't understand. Why would you kiss me?"
Tessa shook her head. "When you were under the water, you were almost dead. I gave you back your breath, helped you to breathe under the water. Most people never remember a Mer's kiss. I'm not sure, but I think the connection between us wasn't broken." She winced the moment the words came out of her mouth. That sounded lame. Really lame.
Setting his gla.s.s down, Kenneth scrubbed his face with his hands. Confusion sped across his visage, darkening his features. "Excuse me for making a total a.s.s out of myself." He let his hands drop limply in his lap. "Man, I feel like a fool."
It was Tessa's turn to frown. "Why?"
A weak laugh escaped him. "This is going to sound really strange, but I've dreamed about the woman in the water. The feel of her lips pressed against mine, her body . . ." Catching himself, he clenched his fists in frustration. "You say I'm not supposed to remember that, but I do. Not clearly, but it's there. It's been there for months, haunting me every d.a.m.n day. Now that I know the truth, I don't know if what I'm feeling for you is real or something conjured up."
Tessa's stomach squeezed. Frustration coiled and burned in her gut like barbed wire. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you feeling invaded by my presence."
I shouldn't have tried to mess with things I don't understand , she thought, laying a mental whip across her back. There was no telling what kind of damage she might have inflicted on the human's mind. What if more memories surfaced, images he might find even more confusing or frightening?
He shook his head. "It's not your fault I twisted survival with desire." Giving a quick, rueful smile, he made a helpless gesture in the air. "I've been l.u.s.ting after you like a hormonal teenager, and you were only trying to save my life." Laced with intense disappointment, his words sounded forlorn.
Nodding tightly, Tessa swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. An uncomfortable feeling rose in the pit of her stomach. She knew he'd believed his attraction for her to be genuine.
Now he wasn't so sure.
She hastened to take the blame. "It was entirely my blunder. I've never spent that long in the water with anyone."
He looked at her hard. "How long was I under?"
Tessa searched her memory. The details weren't hard to locate. As much as she'd tried to put them away, they'd lingered. She couldn't stop her thoughts from sneaking back to the disastrous event.
"At least a couple of hours, maybe more. The storm was out of control by the time I reached you. I couldn't get you to sh.o.r.e so I took you down, deeper."
His brows rose in surprise. "Deeper?"
Tessa squeezed her eyes shut a moment. Maritime lore painted mermaids as malevolent creatures. After luring sailors to destroy their ships on the rocks, they were known to take survivors and drown them. Such stories didn't exactly inspire confidence in her species. Mers were said to be destructive and mean, their dislike of humans legendary.
"Not far," she said, hoping to rea.s.sure him. "The island is riddled with underwater caves. I pulled you into one. You were perfectly safe."
Kenneth studied her closely as she spoke. His gaze never wavered, recording every twitch she made. "Am I still under this hex?"
Tessa nibbled her bottom lip. "It wasn't a hex, and I don't know. I've only had a crash course in Mercraft." The words came out in a rush, almost apologetic.
Kenneth applied his hand to his forehead. "Oh terrific. A mermaid with a learner's permit."
At least he hadn't lost his sense of humor.
Tessa picked up her gla.s.s, belatedly realizing it was empty. d.a.m.n. She could use another drink right now. A double. And a lot of them. "I haven't had a lot of practice." She'd only recently learned to add simple verbal commands to the energies she generated, and was still a little unsure of the shape and form they might manifest into.
Hand dropping, a worried expression crossed his face. "You're not going to experiment on me again, are you?"
She cleared her throat. "It wasn't an experiment," she insisted. "If I had done it right, you wouldn't have remembered a thing."
Kenneth unexpectedly laid a hand on her arm. A p.r.i.c.kling sensation ran up her spine, as if his touch carried an electric charge. His compelling gaze settled on her face, intense and focused, a visual caress he clearly hesitated to make physical.
"I'm glad I did," he said softly. "I wouldn't ever want to forget you, Tessa."
Whoa!
Tessa immediately hit reverse, backing up. "You're kidding, right??"
Kenneth leaned toward her, his face intent. "I probably shouldn't say this, but one of the reasons I wanted to live was because of what happened in the water."
Blinking hard, Tessa swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. She knew she was staring at him, but she couldn't seem to tear her gaze off his face. The air between them was shifting, thickening.
She gave him a half-nervous smile. "Seriously?" Keenly aware of the heat suffusing her body, she sounded too breathless for her own comfort.
He reached out, caressing her face with the tips of his fingers. "All this time I believed I'd been touched by something extraordinary, some out-of-this-world being that chose to let me live when I rightly should have died. You restored my life, and for that I'm grateful."
Tessa squeezed her eyes shut a moment, enjoying the feel of his fingers against her needy skin. Clenched muscles trembled. Oh, she wanted him. To pull her close, touch her all over. To fill the emptiness inside.
"I didn't make that choice," she murmured. "You did."
Kenneth cupped his palm around her cheek. His skin barely made contact with hers, as though he held something so fragile he was afraid the merest touch would shatter it. "I kept telling myself the woman in the water couldn't be real . . ."
Tessa's internal temperature hitched up another notch. So did the heat in certain parts of her body. Inside, her emotions were threatening to unravel. The emotions of loneliness churning through her were suddenly quelled. This man had sought her out. She didn't know how or why he had come back into her life at this particular moment. She didn't care.
"Yet here I am."
Closing the narrow distance separating them, Kenneth's mouth brushed hers, deliberately light and excruciatingly slow. "Right in front of me, a dream come true," he whispered against her lips. His voice was sweetly humble.
Before she could think of a reply, he deepened the kiss. His lips were firm, his mouth eager with pa.s.sion and a longing she'd never felt from a man before.
Heart pounding fast and furious, a ribbon of pure need knotted inside Tessa's core. The shock of his mouth on hers rocked her hard. "Oh, my." The rest of her sentence became little more than a garbled moan.
The voice of reason called out for her to pull away, put some distance between them before something happened. But the hunger for his touch was much more powerful. Every nerve in her body zinged with tension even as a thousand emotions and words tangled inside her mind.
His gaze locked with hers. "I can't tell you how many times I've made love to you in my mind."
Tessa gasped. She would have swallowed but her mouth was dry. "It's all happening so fast . . ." A shudder ripped through her as she realized the implications. And the complications.
Sensing her hesitation, Kenneth pulled away. The warmth building between them immediately vanished. "I'm sorry."
Tessa blinked. The air in her chest locked painfully. Head still spinning, she tried to corral her hormones. Though her body was willing, it was probably best to slow down and think before things went too far. Kenneth Randall wasn't exactly the poster boy for emotional stability. For once, someone else's baggage was heavier than her own.
"It's okay," she murmured, drawing a breath to still the unfulfilled energy pounding through her veins.
He ran nervous fingers through his hair, further mussing the short style into an even spikier mess. "I didn't mean to put the make on you like that."
She laid a hand on his arm. "Things happen. It's easy to get carried away."
Kenneth's entire body trembled in reaction. "I'm just being a fool."
"You didn't do anything wrong," she countered softly. "We're both adults and at the moment it felt right, that's all."
The slightest hint of a smile tugged at his lips. "I haven't been with a woman since my wife died." He hesitated and then blurted, "I haven't wanted anyone else. Until I met you."
Silence followed. Silence in which no sound came but the soft hum of the swamp cooler.
Tessa considered her options. Even though she'd been displeased at his arrival on her island, the intervening hours had delivered a revelation. She liked the man. After learning the reasons why he'd gone into the water, he had begun to matter. She no longer viewed him as an intrusive human. He was simply a lonely man, trying to rebuild his life. And if she were to delve a little deeper, she'd have to admit she was attracted to him.
The conclusion, of course, was inevitable. But if they were going to do this, she wanted to be completely honest. "I understand the need to be with someone," she said slowly, measuring every word carefully. "And I'm open to having company of the adult kind."
Kenneth nodded. "I see."
She took another mental step, testing the ground beneath her feet. "But I'm not looking for complications."
His dark eyes met hers. "Meaning?"
She cleared her throat. "If we were to consider getting together, I'd like to keep things casual."
A spark glinted in the depths of his eyes. He was beginning to catch on. "How casual?"
Heat scorched her cheeks. "Let's say we just satisfy each other, relieve a little tension. You know, we could share a bed for fun."
He c.o.c.ked a knowing eyebrow. "And when it's over we each go our own way?"
She nodded. "Right. No complications."
His gaze cooled. "That's not what I'm looking for."
"You'd miss the chance to sleep with your fantasy?" she asked defensively.
Kenneth pinned her under a get-real look. "I don't want to f.u.c.k the fantasy." His hand slipped under her chin, tipping back her head. "I want to make love to the living, breathing woman I'm looking at now. And when I'm done I want to hold her in my arms until she falls asleep."
She swallowed thickly. By the look on his face, the man was absolutely serious. Wow. She'd simply a.s.sumed he wouldn't be ready to tie himself down with another woman.
"No s.h.i.t?"
His hand dropped. "No s.h.i.t," he repeated. "Just having s.e.x with you wouldn't begin to satisfy me. I'm looking for something solid, something real. So if you just want a f.u.c.k buddy, I'm not the guy."
Tessa studied his face. "You're really serious."
Kenneth nodded. "Dead serious. Life is too short to play games. I've been given a second chance and I'm not willing to blow it this time around. It's all or nothing."
A tremor of yearning shimmied down her spine. "And if I said I don't want to get involved with a human?"
His face was tight. "Then I would say good night."
The thought made her heart squeeze. "And if I take a chance?"
Conflict warring on his face, he cleared his throat. "I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I'm willing to find out."
Tessa considered. It would be easy to bare her body to this man. But her soul? She couldn't give him that kind of power over her. When she'd considered taking a new lover, she'd imagined an affair with no strings attached.
Kenneth Randall was making it clear: He wanted strings.
A slew of thoughts crept up from the shadowy corners of her mind. She was tempted to take him on, but she didn't want to get tangled up in another knotty relationship. Problems invariably arose whenever she dared to let a man into her world. Somehow a Mer woman was too much for a human male to handle.
Just three years ago, she'd come close to marrying the man she'd chosen to be her breed-mate. She'd been ready to be in a committed relationship, even though it meant giving up the longevity of the Mer. She couldn't make the shift toward fertility until she synchronized her body's internal clock with that of her mate. After that, she would begin to age normally, like a human.
Jake Ma.s.sey had backed out at the last minute, leaving her high and dry.
And while she wasn't ready to say yes to a new engagement and set the date, she had to admit she wanted a partner. Unless she took the first step and let a new man into her life, she was doomed to spend a lot more nights alone.
She had to make a decision. Either she wanted Kenneth, or she didn't. One way or another he deserved an answer.
Tessa gestured toward her body. "Do you honestly think you could handle all this enchantment?"
"You, I can handle." He drew a deep breath. "Just take it easy with the Mer-magic, okay?"
She nodded solemnly. "I promise not to lay any more whammies on you."
He raised an eyebrow. "Whammies?" He shook his head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole sea-witch thing."
"I can't stop being a Mer," she admitted honestly. "What you see is what you get."