Since I Fell For You Part 20

"Roman," his father said again, obviously getting impatient, "some kid told me you're here. Buzz me up."

Suzanne put her hand over Roman's. "You're not alone anymore. You helped me with my family at the lake. What do you need me to do to help you deal with your father?"

A part of him wanted her to leave so that she didn't have to see what a train wreck the elder Mr. Huson was. Where Roman had come from. What Roman could have become if he hadn't fought so hard to get the h.e.l.l away from that world.

But a bigger part of him wanted backup. Backup he'd never had before.

"Just be yourself. And don't take anything he says personally. He's not the most tactful, not the most polite guy on the planet."

"Don't worry about me. I grew up around my brothers and their friends. Not to mention all the strangers who have always pried into my family's private business because of how famous my parents were. No matter what your father says, I'll be fine." She squared her shoulders as if she was preparing for battle. One she would fight for him. "I'll buzz him up if you want to go grab a shirt."

She was right about putting on more clothes. He could only imagine the crude comments his dad would make if he knew they'd been having s.e.x. If his father said one inappropriate thing to Suzanne...

Roman sprinted up the stairs, grabbed a dark T-shirt from his closet, and got back down to the main level just in time to hear the knock on the door.

Suzanne didn't look at all nervous. Instead, she seemed curious about the man who had raised him. Curious and protective. Roman had always had to protect himself. His chest squeezed tight as he realized she'd really meant it when she said he wasn't alone anymore.

Knowing he couldn't put off the inevitable any longer, he opened the door.

"Son." His father clapped him on the back. "Looks like you've been keeping up the workouts." Suzanne moved forward to say h.e.l.lo and his father's eyebrows lifted practically up into his hairline. "I didn't expect to find a pretty woman here." He moved closer and grabbed the hand she'd extended. "Tommy Huson, at your service."

"Suzanne Sullivan." She smiled warmly. "You have a wonderful son."

"Sure do," his father said, nodding. "Couldn't be prouder of him. You should have seen him back in the day, when he used to rule the-"

Thankfully, Suzanne's phone rang with the song, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother." Roman knew it was her ring tone for Alec, because her brother had called her cell repeatedly the first couple of days he'd worked with her, when she'd still been too mad at him to pick up. "You should talk to your brother."

"Alec can wait."

Roman appreciated that she wanted to be there for him no matter what. But if her family had heard about the fire in her apartment building, they were probably worried sick. He should already have contacted them to let them know she was safe with him, but he'd been too wrapped up in making love to her to remember how the h.e.l.l to do his job.

"He might have heard about the fire."

Her face clouded over. "I'll be quick," she promised as she grabbed her phone and headed toward the gla.s.s sliding doors that led to his outdoor patio s.p.a.ce.

As far as Roman was concerned, his father watched her walk away with far too much lecherous appreciation. "Good-looking girl you've got there. I hope you're tapping that fine a.s.s."

Roman had his father by the shoulders before he realized what he was doing. "Don't ever speak like that about Suzanne again."

When his father winced, Roman made himself uncurl his hands from his shoulders.

"You've forgotten the rules, haven't you, Roman?" His dad lifted and lowered his shoulders a couple of times as if to make sure no serious damage had been done. "Never trust a good looking woman."

"I said not to talk about her again," Roman warned.

His father might be blood, but Suzanne had come to mean something deep and real to Roman. If he had to choose between his dark past and the promise of a brighter future, there would be no contest.

"All I'm saying is that you've got to be careful with a fancy woman like her. I can tell by the way she moves that she comes from money, comes from something better than us. Look what happened with me and your ma. She swore she didn't care about slumming it with me, but she didn't mean it. She ripped my heart out of my chest and this one will do the same to you if you let her."

"Enough," Roman said in a low voice. The last thing he wanted was to hear reminders of how far out of his league Suzanne was. He already knew it, had known it before he'd started to fall for her.

"I know you don't want to hear it," his father insisted, "but I love you, son. Too much to let you walk down the same road I did."

"How much do you need this time?" Done with the chitchat, Roman reached for his wallet. The sooner they concluded their business, the sooner his dad would leave. Hopefully before Suzanne got off the phone.

"A thousand bucks." His father scowled. "The refs must have rigged last night's match. But I'll win for sure tonight."

"Here." Roman added a couple hundred to the total, hoping it would buy him some time before the next paternal visit.

His father pocketed the money, but didn't turn to go. Instead, he had that calculating look in his eyes that said he wanted more than some temporary cash to tide him over. "Sure you don't want to get back in the ring?"

"Nope."

After Roman had left Eddie's dad, Darrell, on a stretcher, bleeding so bad from one eye socket that they hadn't been able to save his eye-all so their dads could make a few bucks betting on their match-Roman had never stepped back into the ring again. Though he still made money with his fists when he needed them to protect a client, he only used brute force when he absolutely had to. Being a bodyguard was about being smart enough to outmaneuver the incoming threat. As far as he was concerned, if it got physical he hadn't done his job.

"Back in the day, the crowds were huge if you were fighting." His father loved to talk about what he considered to be the glory days. "There's never been anyone like you in the ring, Roman."

"I didn't know you used to box professionally." Suzanne walked back into the kitchen and put her phone on the counter.

Roman hadn't heard the patio door slide open. d.a.m.n it, why couldn't Alec have kept her on the phone longer? "I didn't."

"He could have, though. He was the best amateur boxer in the city." His father was beaming at Suzanne. "If we could only get him back into the ring, I'd bet my last dollar on my son. He always won, no matter what it took. Even if he had to fight dirty," he added with a laugh that said he didn't give a c.r.a.p how bad it had been for the other guys in the ring, as long as his son won.

Suzanne frowned as she looked back at Roman. "I can't see you fighting dirty."

"Oh yeah," his father got in before Roman could get him the h.e.l.l out the door. "Anything to make sure his pop went home with more than he came in with. Best son a guy could ever have." He patted the wad of money in his back pocket. "Still is. Always there to help me out when Lady Luck is being fickle."

Roman could see Suzanne's wheels turning. He'd known all along that if he let her get this close-if he got out of control enough to take her to his bed-he was going to have to tell her the full truth about why he didn't deserve her. But he'd hoped to have the rest of tonight, at least, before she saw him for the sc.u.m that he was.

"It's been a long day, Pop. Time to go."

His father looked like he wanted to stay and get to know Suzanne better-and the half-full bottle of red wine on the counter was likely calling his name too. Fortunately, he was more interested in betting the money burning a hole in his pocket.

Moving toward Suzanne, Tommy took her hand and kissed the back of it. "There's nothing like a beautiful woman to make an old man's steps a little lighter." After he let her go, he nodded at Roman. "Thanks for the loan, son."

Roman didn't get riled up anymore about all the "loans" he'd given his father during the past fifteen years. His dad was just one more person to watch out for. Roman would never be able to save him from his gambling addiction-or the s.k.a.n.ky women he fell in with-but he couldn't abandon him either.

The door had barely closed behind his father when Suzanne said, "He bet on your boxing matches?"

It was time for Roman to come clean.

Still, it was hard to change the patterns of over a decade-of diverting people from probing too deeply. "It's ancient history."

"History matters. Especially when it comes to family. If anyone knows that, I do." She put her arms around his waist. "Did you like boxing?"

"It didn't matter if I liked it."

"What happened if you lost?"

Her questions were too incisive. Too close to the parts of himself that he hated having to examine. "I didn't."

"Everyone loses at least once."

"We wouldn't have had the money to pay the rent if I had."

Her eyes widened with increased dismay. "He would bet that much?"

"He trained me to be a sure thing." He wouldn't tell her how painful that training had been. Especially right after his mom left and his dad was so angry. Roman had been the perfect person on whom to vent his fury. "So yeah, the bets got bigger every time." It had been a vicious cycle that Roman couldn't figure out how to escape for far too long.

When she went silent, he tried to change the subject before she could ask any more questions. "What did Alec say? Did he know about the fire? Is he on his way back to the city?"

"Ian was alerted by his building manager and he called me and Alec. Looks like Ian left a message for me a half hour ago." But they'd been too wrapped up in each other to hear it ring. "I told Alec I'm fine and that I'm staying with you, so they have nothing to worry about and shouldn't rush back from the lake tonight. But we can figure out all that tomorrow once they get here, bright and early. Right now I want to know-how badly would you get hurt in your fights when you were a teenager?"

So much for wishing the call with her brother would distract her. Roman had never let anyone get this close, had never planned to tell anyone what he'd kept hidden in his soul. But Suzanne already knew enough and cared enough-h.e.l.l, she even thought she loved him-that there was no use trying to divert her again.

"Some nights were worse than others," he admitted in a low voice. "My injuries were never anything I couldn't heal from. But some of the guys I fought..." He swallowed hard, putting his hand on his neck and rubbing it as the dark memories flooded back. "They didn't always walk out of the ring in one piece."

"Roman." Her voice wasn't pitying. Not judging, either. Understanding. "He shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't have used his own son that way."

Her empathy touched him deep down in a place where he'd never let anyone else go. The realization of how much he needed to unburden himself to someone who understood made his words extra rough as he worked to compensate for that need. Pushing out of her arms, he walked like a robot over to the couch they'd only just made love on and sank down on it.

"Eddie's dad, Darrell, was the last guy I fought."

Refusing to let him push her away, Suzanne came over to the couch and curled up on his lap, putting her arms around him while he spoke. She was a lifeline he hadn't wanted to need, but did. Needed more than anything else in the world.

"We went to school together. He was a nice guy. Bigger than I was, but slower. I knew his dad had problems with drugs, that there were people he owed money to, knew his father needed the money maybe even worse than my dad did. But my training-to always win no matter what-wouldn't quit. Even when I knew I should hold back, I didn't. I didn't know how. Didn't have that kind of control. Hadn't been trained for it." He'd been trained to destroy. He swallowed hard, stroking her hair as he spoke. "His eye started bleeding. Bad enough that he should have gone to the hospital. But they didn't have the money. And his father was mad enough at his loss that he took a few swings at him and made things even worse."

Roman remembered wanting to jump between them, but if anyone knew how messed up father-son relationships could be, he did. So he'd stayed out of it. Just collected his winnings and got the h.e.l.l out of there.

"Darrell didn't come to school for a while. When I found out why-that he'd lost his eye and that an infection from leaving it untreated too long had nearly killed him-I left my dad's house. I didn't have anywhere to go, and when Jerry from the pizza shop figured it out, he let me sleep in his back office. I never fought again. But since I needed money for a place of my own, I did the only thing I figured I'd be any good at. I became a bodyguard." When he finally emerged from his dark memories and looked down at her face, he saw tears swimming in her eyes. "Now you see why you shouldn't be with me, why you shouldn't give a d.a.m.n about me."

But the horror he expected to see on her face never materialized. Instead, she gently-lovingly-caressed his jaw. "You've told me so much, but you haven't told me the whole story. Have you?"

"You mean about the other guys I hurt in the ring?"

"I'm sure they hurt you too," she pointed out. "But that's not what I'm talking about. I saw how much Eddie loves you, and that you love him too. You've always been there for him, haven't you? You wished you could step in to help Darrell, but you were just a kid. Once you were on your feet, once you could make a difference in his life, you did, didn't you?"

"Trying to help someone I had a hand in destroying doesn't make me a hero. Sending Darrell to career training cla.s.ses, buying him and his wife a house, paying for the most expensive private school in town-none of that makes up for what I did. He won't ever get his eye back. And it won't make up for all the other people who got hurt because I wasn't tough enough to stand up to my father."

"It wasn't that you weren't tough enough, Roman. You thought your father had your best interests at heart. You thought he was taking care of you. You thought you could trust him." She looked fiercely protective. "It's not what you did as a kid who was failed by his father that defines you, it's the fact that you refused to continue making those mistakes as an adult. And I'm not the only one who sees how great you are. Jerry saw it, even back when you were still fighting. All the kids who worship you there see it. Eddie sees it. My brothers see it. At least they did, until they flipped out about us kissing." Her lips lifted at the corners. "You're going to have to face it, Roman-you're a good man. A good man I love."

"If I were actually good, I would have kept my hands off you." But even as he said it, he was running his hands over her, needing her softness. Her heat. Her love. "If I were truly good, I would have dreamed about you from a distance, would have remembered that you're too good for me."

"On the contrary," she countered in her smart and s.e.xy voice, "you're too good a man to leave a girl hanging like that. All that unquenched need, all those unrequited emotions, were already making me crazy. Who knows what would have happened to my company if you hadn't finally put your hands on me? I might never have been able to focus on getting my work done again. Although," she added as she leaned in so that her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rubbed against his chest, "I might never want to work quite so many hours again, now that I know how much fun taking time off with you can be."

He didn't know if he was ready to concede to being full of shiny goodness yet, even though she had made some good points about his being a kid who had done the best he could in a s.h.i.tty situation. But he wouldn't apologize for taking her away from her bruising work schedule.

"You work too hard, Suzanne. I've been worried about you burning out, hitting a wall. Everyone in your family is worried too."

"I know my dad is, but only because he told me so at the lake. But I thought my brothers were just on me because of the random calls and server attacks."

The reminder of the threat against her-which now included an apartment fire they needed to get to the bottom of-made his gut twist. "You said it yourself out on the dock last night. You've tried so hard to be everything to everyone. And I've personally seen that extend beyond your family to your employees, your investors, your customers, the charities you do pro bono work for. You're extraordinary. The most extraordinary woman I've ever known. You're brilliant, beautiful, loving, and capable of conquering anything you set your mind to. But no one can do it all. Not even you." He ran a hand over her cheek. "I know I'm pretty messed up from my childhood, but I don't think I'm the only one."

"No," she said with a hollow-sounding laugh. "You're definitely not." She sighed. "I decided a long time ago that surviving my crazy childhood wasn't enough. I wanted to thrive. I wanted to conquer the world. It didn't matter how many hours I worked, how little sleep I got, whether I forgot to eat or shower. All that mattered was making the mark on the world my mother never had, because she was never strong enough to step outside the box of being anything more than my father's muse."

When a shiver went through her from talking about her mother, she nestled in closer to him looking for comfort. The same comfort she'd given him when he was telling her his story.

"And it was okay to burn my candle at both ends, because I didn't have anything else that mattered more to me. Didn't have anyone to cuddle up with on the couch, or cook dinner with, or make love with in the middle of the afternoon." She shifted to look him in the eye. "Now I do. I want you, Roman, messy childhood and all."

He wanted all those things too. He'd been fighting loving her. But now he realized he'd been fighting for all the wrong reasons. Yes, he still wanted the best for her, but despite his past mistakes, no one would ever love her more. No one would ever treat her better.

And no one would ever love her the way he did. Deeply. Truly.

Forever.

"I want you too."

Her eyes went wide with surprise, and she seemed to be holding her breath.

"I love you." He'd never thought he'd say those words to anyone. Never thought he'd feel them all the way deep down in the center of his being. But he did. All because of Suzanne. "I still don't believe I'll ever be good enough for you, but I'll never stop trying. I'll never stop trying to make you happy. I'll never stop wanting to hear your laughter. I'll never stop wanting to make you gasp with pleasure. And I'll never stop needing to protect you-even though I'm going to be doing it as your boyfriend from now on, because I'm officially resigning as your bodyg-"

Her mouth was on his before he could finish his sentence. So much love poured from her to him that he could have sworn her kiss was healing the wounds he'd just confessed from his childhood. He kissed her back with the same devotion, the same sweet purpose.

"I love you," he said again in the tiny s.p.a.ces between kisses. "I love you so much."

"I already knew you loved me," she said, her wide smile filled with the kind of happiness he wanted to always see. "But now that you've resigned your position as my bodyguard, I also know you understand me."

"You were right when you said you didn't need a bodyguard. But you do need to let the people who love you help you. Even the strongest people need backup, Suzanne."

"Even you?"

He brushed his cheek against hers as he admitted the truth. One that would have scared the c.r.a.p out of him before he'd fallen in love with her. "Even me."

"You've got me now. Which means you also get my whole family." Before he could point out yet again that her brothers currently wanted to have him drawn and quartered, she added, "The boys will come around. I know they will. Even if it takes some of them longer than others. As you know, we Sullivans can be a stubborn bunch. Especially me. You're right that I need to stop trying to do everything myself. I've been so adamant about being the strong woman my mother wasn't, I'm probably going to need some practice letting other people take the wheel sometimes. Just like I'm going to try to be better about admitting when I'm wrong." He could see how hard it was for her to say, "I'm done sticking my head in the sand, Roman, and acting like whatever is going on is nothing more than a nuisance. I do need help dealing with whoever is trying to hurt me and my company."

"I'll do everything I can to help. So will your brothers. Your dad. Your cousins. Your friends. Your employees. Your investors." Which was why, though he wanted nothing more than to make love to her again, he couldn't ignore the fact that she had already lost too many hours of sleep this week. "You've had a heck of a week. One I've made more exhausting because I can't get enough of you." He stood, lifting her into his arms as he did so. "You need to rest now."

"I can rest later." She gave him the bright, wicked smile he'd never get enough of. "Tonight, the only thing I need is you."

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT.