Short Stories by Robert A. Heinlein Vol 2 Part 165

That made it my turn to hesitate. I did not want to talk to Ditworth; I wanted to establish a fact. I finally said, Tell him it's Dr Biddle's office.'

Whereupon she answered readily enough, but with a trace of puzzlement in her voice, But Mr Ditworth is not in the suite just now; he was due in Dr Biddle's office half an hour ago. Didn't he arrive?'

Oh,' I said, perhaps he's with the chief and I didn't see him come in. Sorry.'

And I rang off.

I guess you are right,' I admitted, turning back to Feldstein.

He was too worried to be pleased about it. Look,' he said, I want you should have lunch with me and talk about it some more.'

I was just on my way to the Chamber of Commerce luncheon. Come along and we'll talk on the way. You're a member.'

All right,' he agreed dolefully. Maybe I can't afford it much longer.'

We were a little late and had to take separate seats. The treasurer stuck the kitty under my nose and twisted her tail'. He wanted a ten-cent fine from me for being late. The kitty is an ordinary frying pan with a mechanical bicycle bell mounted on the handle. We pay all fines on the spot, which is good for the treasury and a source of innocent amus.e.m.e.nt. The treasurer shoves the pan at you and rings the bell until you pay up.

I hastily produced a dime and dropped it in. Steve Harris, who has an automobile agency, yelled, That's right! Make the Scotchman pay up!' and threw a roll at me.

Ten cents for disorder,' announced our chairman, Norman Somers, without looking up. The treasurer put the bee on Steve. I heard the coin clink into the pan, then the bell was rung again.

What's the trouble?' asked Somers.

More of Steve's tricks,' the treasurer reported in a tired voice. Fairy gold, this time.' Steve had chucked in a synthetic coin that some friendly magician had made up for him. Naturally, when it struck cold iron it melted away.

Two bits more for counterfeiting,' decided Somers, then handcuff him and ring up the United States attorney.' Steve is quite a card, but he does not put much over on Norman.

Can't I finish my lunch first?' asked Steve, in tones that simply dripped with fake self-pity. Norman ignored him and he paid up.

Steve, better have fun while you can,' commented Al Donahue, who runs a string of drive-in restaurants. When you sign up with Magic, Incorporated, you will have to cut out playing tricks with magic.' I sat up and listened.

Who said I was going to sign up with them?'

Huh? Of course you are. It's the logical thing to do. Don't be a dope.'

Why should I?'

Why should you? Why, it's the direction of progress, man. Take my case: I put out the fanciest line of vanishing desserts of any eating place in town. You can eat three of them if you like, and not feel full and not gain an ounce. Now I've been losing money on them, but kept them for advertising because of the way they bring in the women's trade. Now Magic, Incorporated, comes along and offers me the same thing at a price I can make money with them too. Naturally, I signed up.

You would. Suppose they raise the prices on you after they have hired, or driven out of business, every competent wizard in town?'

Donahue laughed in a superior, irritating way. I've got a contract.'

So? How long does it run? And did you read the cancellation clause?'

I knew what he was talking about, even if Donahue didn't; I had been through it.

About five years ago a Portland cement firm came into town and began buying up the little dealers and cutting prices against the rest. They ran sixty-cent cement down to thirty-five cents a sack and broke their compet.i.tors. Then they jacked it back up by easy stages until cement sold for a dollar twenty-five. The boys took a whipping before they knew what had happened to them.

We all had to shut up about then, for the guest speaker, old B. J. Timken, the big subdivider, started in. He spoke on Cooperation and Service'. Although he is not exactly a scintillating speaker, he had some very inspiring things to say about how businessmen could serve the community and help each other; I enjoyed it.

After the clapping died down, Norman Somers thanked B. J. and said, That's all for today, gentlemen, unless there is some new business to bring before the house-'

Jedson got up. I was sitting with my back to him, and had not known he was present. I think there is, Mr Chairman - a very important matter. I ask the indulgence of the Chair for a few minutes of informal discussion.

Somers answered, Certainly, Joe, if you've got something important.'

Thanks. I think it is. This is really an extension of the discussion between Al

Donahue and Steve Harris earlier in the meeting. I think there has been a major change in business conditions going on in this city right under our noses and we haven't noticed it, except where it directly affected our own businesses. I refer to the trade in commercial magic. How many of you use magic in your business? Put your hands up.' All the hands went up, except for a couple of lawyers'. Personally, I had always figured they were magicians themselves.

OK,' Jedson went on, put them down. We knew that; we all use it. I use it for textiles. Hank Manning here uses nothing else for cleaning and pressing, and probably uses it for some of his dye jobs too. Wally Haight's Maple Shop uses it to a.s.semble and finish fine furniture. Stan Robertson will tell you that Le Bon

Marche's slick window displays are thrown together with spells, as well as two thirds of the merchandise in his store, especially in the kids' toy department.

Now I want to ask you another question: In how many cases is the percentage of your cost charged to magic greater than your margin of profits? Think about it for a moment before answering.' He paused, then said: All right - put up your hands.'

Nearly as many hands went up as before.

That's the point of the whole matter. We've got to have magic to stay in business. If anyone gets a strangle hold on magic in this community, we are all at his mercy. We would have to pay any prices that are handed us, charge the prices we are told to, and take what profits we are allowed to - or go out of business!'

The chairman interrupted him. Just a minute, Joe. Granting that what you say is true - it is, of course - do you have any reason to feel that we are confronted with any particular emergency in the matter?'

Yes, I do have.' Joe's voice was low and very serious. Little reasons, most of them, but they add up to convince me that someone is engaged in a conspiracy in restraint of trade.' Jedson ran rapidly over the history of Ditworth's attempt to organize magicians and their clients into an a.s.sociation, presumably to raise the standards of the profession, and how alongside the nonprofit a.s.sociation had suddenly appeared a capital corporation which was already in a fair way to becoming a monopoly.

Wait a second, Joe,' put in Ed Parmelee, who has a produce jobbing business. I think that a.s.sociation is a fine idea. I was threatened by some rat who tried to intimidate me into letting him pick my magicians. I took it up with the a.s.sociation, and they took care of it; I didn't have any more trouble. I think an organization which can clamp down on racketeers is a pretty fine thing.'

You had to sign with the a.s.sociation to get their help, didn't you?'

Why, yes, but that's entirely reasonable-'

Isn't it possible that your gangster got what he wanted when you signed up?'

Why, that seems pretty farfetched.'

I don't say,' persisted Joe, that is the explanation, but it is a distinct possibility. It would not be the first time that monopolists used goon squads with their left hands to get by coercion what their right hands could not touch.

I wonder whether any of the rest of you have had similar experiences?'

It developed that several of them had. I could see them beginning to think.

One of the lawyers present formally asked a question through the chairman. Mr

Chairman, pa.s.sing for the moment from the a.s.sociation to Magic, Incorporated, is this corporation anything more than a union of magicians? If so, have they a legal right to organize?'

Norman turned to Jedson. Will you answer that, Joe?'

Certainly. It is not a union at all. It is a parallel to a situation in which all the carpenters in town are employees of one contractor; you deal with that contractor or you don't build.'