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murmured Shenac. They were ever coming into her mind--bits of the psalms she had been hearing so much lately; and they brought comfort, though sometimes she hesitated to take it to her heart as she might.
But light was near at hand, and peace and comfort were not far away.
Afterwards, Shenac always looked back to this night as the beginning of her Christian life. This night she went to the house of prayer, from which her fears for Hamish had for a long time kept her, and there the Lord met her. Oh, how weary in body and mind and heart she was as she sat down among the people! It seemed to her that not one of all the congregation was so hopeless or so helpless as she--that no one in all the world needed a Saviour more. As she sat there in the silence that preceded the opening of the meeting, all her fears and anxieties came over her like a flood, and she felt herself unable to stand up against them in her own strength. She was hardly conscious of putting into words the cry of her heart for help; but words are not needed by Him from whom alone help can come.
G.o.d does not always choose the wisest and greatest, even among his own people, to do his n.o.blest work. It was a very humble servant of G.o.d through whose voice words of peace were spoken to Shenac. In the midst of her trouble she heard a voice--an old man's weak, quavering voice-- saying,--
"Praise G.o.d. The Lord praise, O my soul.
I'll praise G.o.d while I live; While I have being to my G.o.d In songs I'll praises give.
Trust not in princes;"
and so on to the fifth verse, which he called the key-note of the psalm:--
"O happy is that man and blest, Whom Jacob's G.o.d doth aid; Whose hope upon the Lord doth rest, And on his G.o.d is stay'd;"
and so on to the end of the 146th Psalm, pausing on every verse to tell, in plain and simple words, why it is that they who trust in G.o.d are so blessed.
I daresay there were some in the kirk that night who grew weary of the old man's talk, and would fain have listened to words more fitly chosen; but Shenac was not one of these. As she listened, there came upon her a sense of her utter sinfulness and helplessness, and then an inexpressible longing for the help of Him who is almighty. And I cannot tell how it came to pa.s.s, but even as she sat there she felt her heaviest burdens roll away; the clouds that had hung over her so long, hiding the light, seemed to disperse; and she saw, as it were, face to face, Him who came to bear our griefs and carry our sorrows, and thenceforth all was well with her.
Well in the best sense. Not that her troubles and cares were at an end.
She had many of these yet; but after this she lived always in the knowledge that she had none that were not of G.o.d's sending, so she no longer wearied herself by trying to bear her burdens alone.
It was not that life was changed to her. _She_ was changed. The same Spirit who, through G.o.d's Word and the example and influence of her brother, made her dissatisfied with her own doings, still wrought in her, enlightening her conscience, quickening her heart, and filling her with love to Him who first loved her.
It would not have been easy for her, in the first wonder and joy of the change, to tell of it in words, except that, like the man who was born blind, she might have said, "One thing I know, that whereas I was blind, now I see." But her life told what her lips could not, and in a thousand ways it became evident to those at home, and to all who saw her, that something had happened to Shenac--that she was at peace with herself and with all the world as she had not been before; and as for Hamish, he said to himself many a time, "It does not matter what happens to Shenac now. All will be well with her, now and always."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
After long waiting, Allister came home. Shenac and Hamish had no intention of watching the going out of the old year and the coming in of the new; but they lingered over the fire, talking of many things, till it grew late. And while they sat, the door opened, and Allister came in. They did not know that he was Allister. The dark-bearded man lingering on the threshold was very little like the fair-faced youth who had left them four years ago. He made a step forward into the room, and said,--
"This is Hamish, I know; but can this be our little Shenac?" And then they knew him.
It would be vain to try to describe the meeting. The very happiest meeting after years of separation must be sorrowful too. Death had been among them since Allister went, and the bereavement seemed new to the returned wanderer, and his tears fell as he listened to the few words Hamish said about his father's last days.
When the first surprise and joy and sorrow were a little abated, Shenac whispered,--
"And Evan--Hamish, should we go to-night to tell Angus Dhu that Allister has come home?"
"What about Evan, Allister?" said Hamish.
"Do you not know? Did you not get my letter? I waited for Evan. He had been robbed and hurt, and thought himself dying. But it was not so bad as that. He is better now--quite well, I think. I left him at his father's door."
"At home! Evan at home! What did his father say? Did you see Angus Dhu?"
Shenac was quite breathless by the time her questions were asked.
"No; I could not wait. The field between there and here seemed wider to me than the ocean. When I saw the light, I left him there." And the manly voice had much ado to keep from breaking into sobs again as he spoke.
"His father has been so anxious. No letter has come to us since Evan's came to his father to say that he was dying. I wish the old man had been prepared," said Shenac.
"Oh, I am grieved! If I had but thought," said Allister regretfully.
"It is quite as well that he was not prepared," said Hamish. And he was right.
Shenac Dhu told them about it afterwards.
"My mother went to the door, and when she saw Evan she gave a cry and let the light fall. And then we all came down; and my father came out of his bed just as he was, and when he saw my mother crying and clinging about the lad, he dropped down in the big chair and held out his hands without saying a word. You may be sure Evan was not long in taking them; and then he sank down on his knees, and my father put his arms round him, and would not move--not even to put his clothes on,"
continued Shenac Dhu, laughing and sobbing at the same time. "So I got a plaid and put about him; and there they would have sat, I dare say, till the dawn, but after just the first, Evan looked pale and weary, and my father said he must go to bed at once. 'But first tell us about your cousin Allister,' my father said. Evan said it would take him all night, and many a night, to tell all that Allister had done for him; and then my father said, 'G.o.d bless him!' over and over. And I cannot tell you any more," said Shenac Dhu, laughing and crying and hiding her face in her hands.
"But as to my father being prepared," she added gravely, after a moment's pause, "I am afraid if he had had time to think about it, it would have seemed his duty to be stern at first with Evan. But it is far better as it is; and he can hardly bear him out of his sight. Oh, I'm glad it is over! I know now, by the joy of the home-coming, how terrible the waiting must have been to him."
Very sad to Allister was his mother's only half-conscious recognition of him. She knew him, and called him by name; but she spoke, too, of his father and Lewis, not as dead and gone, but as they used to be in the old days when they were all at home together, when Hamish and Shenac were little children. She was content, however, and did not suffer.
There were times, too, when she seemed to understand that he had been away, and had come home to care for them all; and she seemed to trust him entirely that "he would be good to Hamish and the rest when she was no more."
"Folk get used to the most sorrowful things at last," said Shenac to herself, as, after a time, Allister could turn quietly from the mother, so broken and changed, to renew his playful sallies with his brothers and little Flora. Indeed, it was a new acquaintance that he had to make with them. They had grown quite out of his remembrance, and he was not at all like the brother Allister of their imaginations; but this making friends with one another was a very pleasant business to them all.
He had to renew his acquaintance with others too--with his cousins and the neighbours. He had much to hear and much to tell, and after a while he had much to do too; and through all the sayings and doings, the comings and goings,--of the first few weeks, both Hamish and Shenac watched their brother closely and curiously. Apart from their interest in him as their brother whom they loved, and in whose hands the future of all the rest seemed to lie, they could not but watch him curiously.
He was so exactly like the merry, gentle, truthful Allister of old times, and yet so different! He had grown so strong and firm and manly.
He knew so many things. He had made up his mind about the world and the people in it, and could tell his mind too.
"Our Allister is a man!" said Shenac, as she sat in the kitchen one night with Shenac Dhu and the rest. The words were made to mean a great deal by the way in which they were spoken, and they all laughed. But her cousin answered the words merely, and not the manner:--
"That is not saying much. Men are poor creatures enough, sometimes."
"But our Allister is not one of that kind," said Dan, before his sister had time to answer. "He _is_ a man. He is made to rule. His will must be law wherever he is."
Dan had probably some private reason for knowing this better than the rest, and Shenac Dhu hinted as much. But Dan took no notice, and went on,--
"You should hear Evan tell about him. Why, he saved the lives of the whole band more than once, by his firmness and wisdom."
"I have heard our Evan speaking of him," said Shenac Dhu, her dark eyes softening, as she sat looking into the fire; "but if one is to believe all that Evan says, your Allister is not a man at all, but--don't be vexed, Dan--an angel out of heaven."
"Oh, I don't know about that part of it," said Dan; "but I know one thing: he'll be chief of the clan, boss of the shanty, or he'll know the reason why.--O Shenac, dear, I'm sorry for you; your reign is over, I doubt. You'll be farmer-in-chief no longer."
The last words were spoken with a mingled triumph and pathos that were irresistible. They all laughed.
"Don't be too sorry for me, Dan," said his sister. "I'll try to bear it."
"Oh yes, I know: you think you won't care, but I know better. You like to rule as well as Allister. You'll see, when spring comes, that you won't put him aside as you used to put me."
"There won't be the same need," said Shenac, laughing.
"Won't there? It is all very fine, now that Allister is new. But wait and see. You won't like to be second-best, after having been first so long."
Both Hamish and Shenac Dhu were observing her. She caught their look, and reddened a little.
"Do you think so, Shenac Dhu?--You surely cannot think so meanly of me, Hamish?"