Sheltering Hearts Part 5

DORY FELT SHE'D HAD one of the most productive weeks of her life, and for some reason she couldn't explain, she'd had no sense of doom over the loss of her steady job. With overtime she had earned a little more than she was making as the director of the center, but not enough more to make it worth putting up with Mr. Sills's constant criticism and haranguing. And Corsica was so right-even though she had hardly begun as the director, she was already so much more fulfilled, so much happier. one of the most productive weeks of her life, and for some reason she couldn't explain, she'd had no sense of doom over the loss of her steady job. With overtime she had earned a little more than she was making as the director of the center, but not enough more to make it worth putting up with Mr. Sills's constant criticism and haranguing. And Corsica was so right-even though she had hardly begun as the director, she was already so much more fulfilled, so much happier.

Dory had left one of the three bedrooms in that little house empty of furniture. She and the rest of the board of directors had been hauling around donated nonperishable food items and supplies in their cars for women in need, but now she could create a bona fide, well-stocked food closet. The first thing she planned to do next week was visit some of the big-box stores like Costco and ask for donations on a large scale to stock that closet. She'd promise them good press and a mention on the Web site. She would hit all the stores, including Target and Albertsons, and she'd even swallow her pride and check with Mr. Sills's grocery in Fortuna. She'd be lucky if he didn't spit in her eye, but this wasn't about her. She'd ask anyway.

But the next thing on her agenda was to make red beans and rice for Sunday dinner with Clay. She'd been too busy to think about it much and was surprised to realize she wasn't stressed out about it at all, but rather very excited. She'd been on the run so much all week, she hadn't even seen him to wave across the yard. With her time divided between work and The Single Mother's Resource Center, she didn't hang around the house with time on her hands much.

The kids were so jazzed about having Clay to dinner, they helped her by cleaning their rooms and doing a few ch.o.r.es around the house. And to her surprise, Clay must have been looking forward to it, too. He stopped by her house at around noon on Sunday and said, "You never told me what time."

"Would five be too early for you? I know you bachelor types start your evenings at ten at night. You probably haven't eaten earlier than nine in years. But the kids-"

"Five is great. Is there a wine that goes with red beans?"

She just laughed at him. "Clay, do I look like someone who knows anything about wines? I couldn't tell you. I usually drink milk with the kids. We're keeping our bones strong."

"I drink a lot of milk, too, but for the first time you have me to dinner, I'm going to find something special."

"Knock yourself out," she said. "Now, get out of here. I'm not ready for company. I'm cleaning and I look a wreck."

Without smiling, he said, "No, you don't, Dory. You look as good as ever."

She just shoved him out the door. "I'll be cleaned up by five-now, go!"

When he came back, he brought with him a six-pack of imported beer, nice and cold. "There is no special wine for red beans," he announced. "I checked with a couple of people and both recommended this."

"I can't remember when I last had a beer," she said. "Do we have one now? Or does this go with dinner?"

The kids came screaming out of their bedrooms before he could answer. They practically tackled him, they were so excited. He'd never been inside her house before, had never seen their bedrooms, and they wanted to show him all their stuff. They wanted to play with him as if their mother had invited one of their their friends from school for dinner rather than an adult she was looking forward to sharing an evening with, also. But he grinned while one pulled at each hand and said, "It probably goes with the beans, but tell you what-let's save it for later. After things...you know...quiet down..." friends from school for dinner rather than an adult she was looking forward to sharing an evening with, also. But he grinned while one pulled at each hand and said, "It probably goes with the beans, but tell you what-let's save it for later. After things...you know...quiet down..."

And she thought, Excellent idea. Excellent idea.

The food was delayed while the kids dominated Clay's attention. Then over dinner Austin and Sophie talked about everything going on at school, and their excitement over signing up for T-ball and Little League. They even brought up the resource center and how they'd helped their mom with cleaning, painting and moving furniture. "She's the boss, you know," Sophie announced proudly.

"That doesn't surprise me at all," he said, just as proudly. Then to Dory he said, "That means I'm going to see you guys around here even less than before. Being the boss carries responsibility. How many jobs is that now?"

Dory was frozen for a second. "Oh, Clay, I haven't seen you since that day at the grocery store! Oh, my gosh, so much has happened, and you don't know any of it! First of all, we had some emergency money in our fund. Mel Sheridan is our CFO-she's in charge of the money. Her husband, Jack, says we couldn't have found anyone better. He says prying a nickel out of her is harder than getting a- Oh, I'll save that. But trust me, it's colorful. Anyway, she got a plane ticket for that woman we rescued, and she and her baby are safe with her mother in Colorado. And Corsica Rios, the social worker who really started the group, found us a house for an office and center, so we're kind of moved in and have been fixing up. We spent all week hunting for used furniture and donated paint. We cleaned, weeded and did whatever fixing up was needed-the kids helped, didn't you, guys?"

"We did!" Sophie said.

"I painted a wall," Austin reported.

"Oh, and I got fired," Dory said.

"What?" Clay asked.

"Mr. Sills, the manager at the grocery store-he fired me. For leaving my cash drawer unattended to run into the parking lot and get into that situation with Simone and her...her... What do I call him? He isn't really a boyfriend. Well, the guy they arrested."

Clay's eyes grew dark and angry. "He fired fired you for that?" you for that?"

"He said there were other things, too. He said that was the last straw. But I don't agree about the other things...."

"What other things?" Clay ground out the words.

"He said I missed work too much, which I would dispute. We had a little flu last winter, but the kids are healthy and haven't been sick much. I had to take a couple of days for our single moms' conference, but I don't do that regularly. It's an annual thing, and I tried to explain how important it is, but-"

"He fired fired you?" you?"

She nodded. "He said I wasn't reliable, yet I worked all the overtime he'd give me-I always needed the money. I think he's missing something, to tell you the truth. I was pretty dedicated to that stupid job because I needed it, but I'm not mad, Clay. I think the best thing happened. I took the position at the resource center, and we needed someone full-time to pull all the strings together, to keep better and more consistent records, to manage the volunteer program. It's a little less money, but it's not going to kill us to tighten up-we'll just eat more red beans!" The kids sent up a cheer, making her laugh. "The only thing missing at the moment is a medical benefit program, but the board's working on that. We needed this change-up till this week, we were all so busy with our full-time jobs, there was no one available to hold the reins of the foundation. But we're growing. There will be more employees, and every year that we grow, we'll do more." She leaned toward him, and with pa.s.sion and drama she said, "I've kept a room empty for a food closet! Do you have any idea how many women we encounter who don't have diapers or formula for their babies? Or enough food for themselves? I'm going to fill up that room with nonperishable food and supplies, like diapers, soap, shampoo and essentials."

Clay's lips were pursed in a thin line and she thought maybe his eyes clouded a bit. "That's wonderful, Dory," he said, and his voice was gravelly. "I'm proud of you."

She was confused by his emotional reaction. "It's going to be great," she said.

"Let me help with the dishes," he offered. "Then it's about time for that beer."

She laughed. "Sounds like a plan. Kids? Wanna clear for us?"

IT WAS EIGHT O'CLOCK before all the dishes were done and the kids were finished with their baths and settling for the night. Dory excused herself to make sure everything was under control, then she said to Clay, "I think your first dinner at our house was a success. You have very adequate table manners." before all the dishes were done and the kids were finished with their baths and settling for the night. Dory excused herself to make sure everything was under control, then she said to Clay, "I think your first dinner at our house was a success. You have very adequate table manners."

"Thank you. And you have excellent red beans. Let's have a beer on the porch while we talk about grown-up things."

"I'm all for that." Dory took her beer and headed outside. She sat on the porch swing while Clay settled on the porch rail nearby. "This is so nice, so peaceful," she said. "I have myself running around so much, I never take time to relax like this. Thank you."

"Dory, you know all about Elizabeth and the boys. I spend a lot of time with them. It happens their dad is pretty good about seeing them, but it doesn't hurt for them to have more than one male influence."

"Positive influence," she said with a smile. "Stan told me he has a sister who's a single mom, too. In fact, he said something that will always stick with me. He said, 'Who doesn't have a sister-or at least know someone-who's a single mom?'"

"I mention all this as a way of explaining-I asked Sophie where her father is and she drew herself up real tall and said, 'Our mother says we don't have to answer that question unless we feel like it.' And apparently she didn't feel like it."

"Oh, good for her," Dory said. "She's strong! I wasn't sure how she'd deal with that and I don't want the kids at school to tease her or give her a hard time. I didn't want her to feel she had to explain, either. And I've been meaning to talk to you about this-I probably put it off too long, but it was a matter of being sure of our friendship. But it might help explain the way I behaved when you first moved in and started getting in my business." She laughed a bit uncomfortably. "At least I hope it will explain my reaction to your attempts to be a good, helpful neighbor."

He leaned toward her. "Tell me," he urged. "You can can trust me." trust me."

She took a deep breath. "Sophie's father is in prison. We're divorced. He was a violent man. I got involved with him and eventually married him. I was too young and dumb. Like a typical abuser, he separated me from my family, moved us to Oklahoma, out of my uncle's reach. He shoved and slapped and talked real mean, but then one night he really lost it and beat me badly enough for a 9-1-1 call. He was scared of what would happen to him, so he took the kids and ran-but he didn't get far."

He wore a pained expression and shook his head, looking down. "What in G.o.d's name makes a man like that?"

"Many things. Many different combinations of things. In his case, a father who beat his mother and him. He used drugs from time to time, and probably had a personality disorder, as well.... I was lucky to get a good lawyer and an angry judge. My ex doesn't even have visitation and will have to go back to court if he wants to even see the kids."

In the darkness of her front porch, she could tell he tried to control his breathing to keep it calm. Clay was a protector of women and children. Her story would be hard for him to hear. "And you do this volunteer work because of what happened to you?"

"No," she said. "I do it because I was helped. helped. I went to a support group when I moved here because I needed ongoing support after leaving Oklahoma, where I was helped so much by the Zoe Inst.i.tute. I met Corsica Rios, the social worker who had been a working single mom. We had coffee together, talked about things, and got to know each other. She told me about setting up this local support group and she said, 'They need everything! It's not enough to feed them and cover their heads and find them work-they have to be reeducated in their own worth. It's the only way they can go forward and create a positive environment for our next generation.' And I said, let me tell you how I was helped. That was our beginning. We had a good model for a nonprofit organization dedicated to a.s.sisting these single mothers. And it's working. We helped a lot of women that very first year, and more every year since. We have a shelter, and it's I went to a support group when I moved here because I needed ongoing support after leaving Oklahoma, where I was helped so much by the Zoe Inst.i.tute. I met Corsica Rios, the social worker who had been a working single mom. We had coffee together, talked about things, and got to know each other. She told me about setting up this local support group and she said, 'They need everything! It's not enough to feed them and cover their heads and find them work-they have to be reeducated in their own worth. It's the only way they can go forward and create a positive environment for our next generation.' And I said, let me tell you how I was helped. That was our beginning. We had a good model for a nonprofit organization dedicated to a.s.sisting these single mothers. And it's working. We helped a lot of women that very first year, and more every year since. We have a shelter, and it's always always full. There's a waiting list for women who need a place to go where they'll be safe from an abuser. We can do better than that!" She smiled at him. "But we have a full-time director now," she said proudly. "And sixty-two volunteers!" full. There's a waiting list for women who need a place to go where they'll be safe from an abuser. We can do better than that!" She smiled at him. "But we have a full-time director now," she said proudly. "And sixty-two volunteers!"

"Sixty-three," Clay said.

She was so surprised, she couldn't speak for a moment. "Oh, Clay."

"I don't suppose I could get a job as a bodyguard at that shelter...?"

"I don't suppose," she said with a laugh. "Feel like busting some chops, do you? Believe it or not, as much as that probably comes from the heart, that's not your best recommendation. We advocate nonviolence. Of course."

"I just get hot under the collar at the thought of that whole scenario. But there are lots of other things you can use help with. n.o.body loves a cause like a bunch of firefighters," he said. "Yours wouldn't be the first or only nonprofit group we support, either. There are a million things we can do, from food drives to fundraisers. We're really good at baseball tournaments that pit the firehouses against each other."

"What fun!"

"We give kids tours of the firehouses all the time-kids without dads would be even more important. I bet I can get our female crew members to go along with that idea. And how about pancake breakfasts and barbecues?"

"You're after my job," she said with a laugh.

"I'm just saying I wouldn't mind helping with a good cause. It's like Stan said-all of us are impacted by the need. It's in our families, our neighborhoods, churches, schools. Sometimes it's right next door. Dory," he said softly, seriously, "I'm real sorry that happened to you. And I'm real glad you're a survivor."

"Clay, I just want you to know that the reason I've never accepted a date with you doesn't have anything to do with you. You seem to be a great guy, and you're terrific with the kids. Because of what I've gone through the last several years, I don't entirely trust my instincts about me. me. I should never have ended up in that terrible relationship-I wasn't raised that way. My aunt and uncle were good, solid, loving people." I should never have ended up in that terrible relationship-I wasn't raised that way. My aunt and uncle were good, solid, loving people."

"You're older now," he pointed out. "Wiser. More experienced."

"And I've learned that many women just like me end up in trouble. But that's not my point-I really just wanted to apologize because I know you didn't understand. And I wasn't ready to explain at the time."

He stood and drained his beer. "It's perfectly understandable, Dory. Thanks for telling me."

She stood, as well. "And thanks for your offer of help."

"Yeah, I mean it, too. Listen..." He paused and looked down briefly. "I want to say something. I'm not good at this sort of thing, but I'll try. I know you've been in a really bad place. I understand you have healing to do and strength to build-and I admire you for it. I'm not going to pester you for dates-I can see that's not the way to go with you. But I want you to know-when your heart heals, when you feel strong and more sure of yourself, when you feel sure about me, and you're ready, ready, I want to take you some place really nice. Just me and you. And I want you to know that I'll see it as a beginning for us. I've waited a long time to find someone like you. You're the kind of woman I'm looking for. When you're ready." I want to take you some place really nice. Just me and you. And I want you to know that I'll see it as a beginning for us. I've waited a long time to find someone like you. You're the kind of woman I'm looking for. When you're ready."

"You underestimate yourself. I think you said that very well," she said softly.

"Thanks. And thanks for the beans. They really were good. I'll have to get the recipe-the guys at work would love it."

"I'll write it down for you."

"Well, I'll get going then. And I'll definitely talk to the guys about volunteering."

"That would be so awesome."

He nodded and turned away, stepping down the porch steps to walk back across the yard to his own house.

"Clay?" she said to his back. He turned to look at her, standing on the porch steps. "I think I'm ready. Now."

CHAPTER FIVE.

Ready? Had she really said that aloud? Had she really said that aloud?

Clay took a couple of slow steps toward her. He took the bottle of beer out of her hand and set both his and hers on the porch floor. He put a finger under her chin and lifted her face up to his. "You're so pretty," he whispered. "Do you even know how pretty you are?"

She shook her head. Truly, she didn't. Confidence came hard in many areas of her life. But in one thing she was feeling much more certain-this was a fine man.

He touched her lips softly with his. Then a little more firmly. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her against him, covering her mouth in a searing, hot, fantastic kiss. Her arms slowly encircled his shoulders to hold him close and she let him part her lips. He moved over her mouth with warm, pa.s.sionate, delicious pleasure, a moan coming from somewhere deep inside him. When the kiss came to an end, he didn't retreat far. Dory sighed against his lips-an "mmmm" escaped her.

"You taste wonderful," Clay said.

"I taste like beer and beans," she said with a half laugh.

"I didn't notice," he said, holding her. "Dory, it's going to be hard to go slow with you."

"But very necessary," she said.

His lips found her neck and he seemed to breathe in her scent. Then he was kissing her again, and not only did he he hold her tight against him, but Dory pulled him nearer and moved under his lips. She tilted her head to get a better fit, to bring him pa.s.sionately closer. When he broke the kiss, he was breathing hard. "If I kiss you every day for the rest of your life, will that be slow enough?" hold her tight against him, but Dory pulled him nearer and moved under his lips. She tilted her head to get a better fit, to bring him pa.s.sionately closer. When he broke the kiss, he was breathing hard. "If I kiss you every day for the rest of your life, will that be slow enough?"

"I think so," she said in a breath.

Then the kissing began again and Dory was completely lost. If she wasn't careful, she could fall in love with him quickly. Desperately in love. But maybe she had started loving him when he played with the kids that first time.... And started loving him more when he said he'd be her newest volunteer. And perhaps she was totally sunk when he'd said when you're ready. when you're ready.

His lips went back to her neck. "Please don't move, Dory."

"Okay," she said, feeling so much more connected now, against him, warm and safe in his arms.

"I have to go home now," he whispered. "Home to my own house."

"I know."

"In just a second, I have to leave...."

"I know. But it's still early. What will you do?"

"Hmm. Grab a shower, I think. A really, really cold one."

She laughed a little and said, "Oh-oh."

He pulled back a little and looked into her eyes. "There's one thing you need to know, honey. You can trust me. You're in no position to take chances and I swear, you can trust me."

"I believe you."

"I better go," he said huskily. "While I can still walk."

She wondered if she would crumble to the ground when he let go. "And while I can still stand," she said.

"G'night," he muttered. And then with a groan he let go of her and turned away, walking across the wide yards to his house. When he got to his own porch he turned and lifted his hand toward her.