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Time seemed to slow and twiddle its thumbs as he danced, evading the second tentacle, while struggling in vain to escape from the first. He edged slowly toward the out-of-bounds, and the lagoon-creature slowly dragged him back.
Time took a coffee break. Time went out to an early lunch...
And Hog hopped...hopped...hopped...
Would the period never end? he thought desperately, throwing his weight up and down with fading strength. Would time never run out on this eternal second period...?
BLAAATTTT! went the buzzer.
Tweeeeet! "No points!" called the ref.
Hog gasped, as the Ektra released his leg.
"Shake it off, Hog--shake it off!" "Go, Justin--!"
He gulped air as he staggered in a circuit around the mat, before going to a.s.sume the top position for the final period. "Whattza score?" he rasped to the ref.
"Three to one, Ektra," the ref informed him.
From somewhere overhead, the strains of country-western music filled the gymnasium.
For Earth, Hog thought dizzily, focusing on the form of the creature before him. Do it for Earth. Do it for wrestling. For wrestling. For the tricrystal medal. Just gotta do it, somehow. You're on camera--the only human left.
"FREE DRINKS, HAWWWG!" yelled Harmin'.
Tweet!
He hurled his weight into the lagoon-creature, hoping to topple it over. His only hope now was to turn it over for the fall. He felt its weight giving way...altering shape under him. What the h.e.l.l was it going to be this time?
For an instant, he felt a disgusting slime under him, as the Ektra's form dissolved. Repulsed, he involuntarily loosened his hold a little, and as he did so, a hundred and thirty-eight pounds of Ektra bounced up into his chin. He almost lost his grip, but somehow recovered his balance and thrust himself against the Ektra with all the strength his legs had left.
Boing.
The Ektra bounced back against him.
Boing.
It bounced away from him, veering unexpectedly to his right, and doing a backflip out of his arms. He threw himself against it before it could get completely away, tackling it and carrying it out of bounds.
Tweeeet!
Panting, Hog took a good look at his opponent as it settled, more or less, into position in the center of the mat. It looked like a large coil spring inside a knotted sock, and it seemed unable to stop bouncing completely, even in the starting position. It bobbed and jittered at a sort of idle speed, reminding Hog of his Uncle Wainwright, who could never sit still, bouncing and gumchewing his way through entire ballgames--and who had often belittled Hog for choosing wrestling over basketball. Hog glared at the coil-springed Ektra, and imagined it shapechanging into his Uncle Wainwright.
With a silent snort, Hog settled behind the Ektra and placed his hands carefully on its trunk, prepared to tackle it as viciously as he could. The centaur-ref peered at him for a moment, seemingly unable to decide if his positioning was legal. Then it flipped its paddle-hand. Tweet!
Boing.
Hog lunged into the bouncing shapeshifter, and bounced with it, boing, boing, right off the mat. He got up glaring even harder. Time was running out, and it didn't do him any good just to hold the thing down, he needed to pin it. But how could he pin a coil spring? The one thing that encouraged him, as he watched it bounce back to the center of the mat, was that it was starting to look tired. Maybe all this springing was wearing it out.
At the whistle, Hog threw his weight into it again, and landed flat on his chin. For an infuriating, fl.u.s.tered moment, he thought he had lost the Ektra, and he scrambled to get up, looking around wildly. Then he realized that the Ektra was under him; it had splatted out into an enormous pancake with tiny, starfish legs around its outer edge. He pushed and hauled on it, but the thing was immovable.
"Turn it over! Turn it over!" yelled his coach, his mother, somebody.
He couldn't possibly turn it over--unless he got off it completely and tried to flip it like a throw rug. But that would be crazy...it was too heavy and too awkward.
"Warning--Ektra--stalling!" brayed the ref.
"Hog--you're running out of time! DO SOMETHING!" hollered Harmin', from somewhere very close to the edge of the mat.
With a snarl, Hog jumped off the pancake and yanked on the edge of the thing. It went "Querrreee!" and began contracting into a new shape. Good! Now he could go to work on it!
The change took place in a dizzying blur, and it was not just a physical blur. Hog felt a wave of confusion pa.s.s through his mind, and he blinked and found himself holding the hand of, and staring into the large brown eyes of, the most breathtakingly beautiful woman he had ever seen, or imagined. (Come...come to me...now...) whispered the psicry. She had long, golden-brunette hair; and she was wearing a clinging silk wrap that did not altogether cover her breathtaking...her breathtaking...
...and she was breathing so hard, so quiveringly hard, and pulling him by the hand toward her with a smile that made his heart stop.
"Whoaaa--Hog! All riiiight! Go for it, man, go get it!"
The sound of Harmin's voice was strangely removed, as though Hog and his...opponent?...had been whisked into a private place for a special little tete-a-tete, with everyone else suddenly a very long way away, miles away, light-years away. (Yes, yes...come get it...you will like it very much...) And, for a fleeting instant, Hog thought that was fine, just fine, very fine indeed. For the glory of Earth fine. Oh yes.
And then maybe a whiff of oxygen reached his brain, or maybe a whiff of astringent alien breath, because the hypnotic spell slipped just a little, and his heart seemed to beat again, and with a start he realized that he was sinking to the mat, allowing himself to be drawn into the arms of this...about to pull this gorgeous creature on top of him, this...
"Get that G.o.dd.a.m.n tramp off you, Justin!" screamed someone, his mother.
...Ektra shapeshifter.
"Awwwww, jeeeez!" he panted, struggling to get his brain clear, and realizing he had about one second before he'd be flat on his back under this...s.e.x-crazed...
The woman's weight was already shifting for the pin. And his mind was still fogged...but not quite so fogged that he couldn't make one last, desperate hopeless move.
He reached down and tickled her in the ribcage.
"Breee-heee-heeeeeee!" shrieked the shapeshifter, erupting into helpless laughter and losing its hold.
Hog scooted out from under it, but managed to keep his fingers in there tickling. He was gasping from the exertion, but his gasps were drowned out by screams of laughter...
"Kreee-hee-hee-(stop)-hee-heee-kreee-(stop)-heee- hee-hee-(please stop!)-hee--"
Hog struggled to disregard the psicry pummeling his mind. He hugged and cradled this creature, far and away more gorgeous than any woman he had ever even fantasized about, cradled her in a fabulous embrace...tickling mercilessly.
"Kreee-hee-hee-(stop please stop!)--"
"HOG, TEN SECONDS LEFT!!!".
The thing's laughter was contagious, and Hog fell on her, nearly laughing uncontrollably himself. And he pressed her back down to the mat, his left arm crooked in a careless reverse-half- nelson, his right hand tickling just below those magnificent--
Whack! Tweeeeeeet! "Pin! The match goes to the human!" brayed the centaur-ref.
And he almost couldn't make himself stop tickling her now that he had her down, but the roar of the crowd was enough to make him look up in a daze, and the first thing he saw, past the four legs of the ref, was Harmin' Harmon jumping up and down like a dancing buffalo. His friend's voice was drowned out, but it hardly mattered. And the second thing Hog saw was the centaur bending down to look at him with apparent puzzlement in its eyes.