Shanji. Part 21

"Mengnu," he murmured. "I want you-so badly."

"Then take me," she whispered, and in one motion pulled the shirt off over her head to toss it aside and reach up to his face.

He sat gazing at her for one instant before something exploded in both of them, and they were tumbling around in the gra.s.s, scattering clothes while the horses watched nervously and stomped the ground, snorting. When they came together, it was gentle, with a long, deep kiss, their hands exploring everywhere, and Kati felt wetness between her legs. The kiss did not stop, and her hand found his organ, smooth and hard. She guided him into her, and felt pleasure at his first thrust, slowly at first, then spreading deep within her. She breathed hard through her nose, opening her mouth wider to him, grabbing his b.u.t.tocks tightly and pulling. Her pleasure seemed to block thought, and her mind spun blankly. There was only that feeling, groping clear to her spine, and Lui-Pang's m.u.f.fled grunts as he thrust into her.

Suddenly he winced, and seemed to pull back, but she held on, her pelvis rocking furiously, eyes closed tightly. Her head felt ready to explode.

Lui-Pang winced again, and moaned. His hands pushed against her shoulders as she reached climax; she lost his mouth at that instant, and what came from her was not a woman's cry of pleasure, but a deep, rumbling growl that went on and on.

She opened her eyes as the growl subsided, and Lui-Pang was still straddling her, eyes wide and staring. His organ was limp within her, and his chin was covered with blood from a wound in his lip.

"What have I done?" he said, looking terrified. "What was I thinking of? I should have known, I should have-oh, I can't! I just can't do this! We are not-alike!"

"Lui-Pang! What's wrong?" Kati reached out to touch his chin, but he jumped to his feet, and began picking up his clothes as fast as he could.

"Lui-Pang!"

"It's not your fault, Mengnu. I knew about you. But I'd-never seen it. I can't-not with a Changeling. It's-It's unclean!"

Kati jumped up, and grabbed her pants, struggling into them as Lui-Pang vaulted into his saddle. "Don't leave me here like this!" she shrieked, and it was the scream of a shizi.

Lui-Pang jerked hard on the reins, and galloped away. Kati pulled on her pants, found the shirt. "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" she screamed.

Her own horse reared when she ran to it. Its eyes rolled white and wild with fear. She grabbed the reins tightly in a fist, and growled.

Stay still! Don't you even MOVE!

The horse was stunned and looked at her dumbly, legs quivering. She dropped the reins long enough to pull on her shirt and boots, then leaped into the saddle. The animal just stood there. She leaned over his neck, and growled again. "Run, or I'll tear out your throat!"

The horse leaped, nearly throwing her, and she got a claw into his mane, muscles on her forearm thick and veined. "Yiiii!" she screamed, and the animal ran as if a shizi were on its back.

Lui-Pang was nearly out of sight, riding like the wind, but she drove her animal hard up the gra.s.sy slopes to the flats, and then to the road. She approached the dome's gate at a full gallop, riding with fury, her eyes filled with tears, but clear enough to see guards blocking the entrance, rifles raised. She didn't care, and charged at them, without thought of danger.

"Don't shoot! It's Mengnu! Let her pa.s.s!"

It was Master Yung, running towards the gate from the troopers' barracks, waving his arms.

She charged past the astonished guards, leaping from the saddle, but her horse kept right on running. Yung grabbed her as she started to fall, and she carried him several paces before he stopped her. "Lui-Pang! Where are you?" she shrieked, struggling against Yung's hold on her.

"Stop it!" cried Yung. "He's gone-back to the barracks. He came by here like a demon was chasing him, and now I see why. What has he done to you?"

"Lui-Pang!" she cried pitifully.

"Back to the palace! We'll get to the bottom of this!" Yung pulled her away from the gate, the guards looking at her with wide eyes and stepping back as she pa.s.sed them. Yung's arm was tight around her shoulders, and now she was crying, deep racking sobs and moans. He got her to the monorail station, where three people waiting on benches leaped up and shied away from her. When the car came, six people got out, and a woman gasped when she saw Kati. n.o.body got on the car with them, and Yung hugged her to him all the way up the steep slope as she cried.

It was no better at the top; groups of startled people, a child clinging to its mother's legs, all with eyes wide and staring, full of fear at the sight of her. Yung hustled her up stairs, and an elevator, twice shouting at guards who might have shot her, and then they were in the hallway leading to her rooms and Huomeng was standing there, knocking on her door. When she saw him she moaned, and covered her face with her hands.

"What happened?" he asked. "Kati, what's wrong?"

She broke from Yung's grasp, pushed Huomeng aside, and slammed the door behind her, locking it.

"Kati!"

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

She ran to her bedroom and looked into the mirror to see what she knew would be there. Tears streaked her face, and her eyes were two, red suns. Her lips were curled back in a snarl, and canine teeth curved down to her lower lip. She was a monster, a demon. She was a Changeling.

Kati breathed deeply, but her face did not change. She clawed at her face with her fingers, drawing blood. "It won't go away! IT WON'T GO AWAY!" she shrieked.

There was a rattling at her door, and then it opened. Tanchun peered inside, then jumped back. Huomeng came inside, followed by Master Yung-and Weimeng.

Kati screamed, "I said stay away from me!"

Weimeng cried out in horror, covered her face with her hands and bolted from the room.

"I'll handle this," said Huomeng. "Thank you for bringing her here."

Master Yung nodded silently, and left. Huomeng closed the door, and locked it again, then turned towards her.

Kati's hands covered her face. "Don't come near me," she said.

Huomeng ignored her command. He walked slowly towards her, his eyes narrowed to slits, and it was anger she saw there, not fear. "What did Lui-Pang do to you? Tell me! I'll probe you in your sleep if you don't!"

"Nothing! Don't you dare do anything to hurt him!"

"Nothing? Lui-Pang returns as if riding for his life, and you come back hysterical, and you tell me nothing happened between you two? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No."

He was a step away from her, coming within reach. "Put down your hands. I want to see you."

"NO!" She took a step backwards, but it was too late. His hands were on her shoulders, and his face was close.

"Take your hands away, Kati. I want to see the Tumatsin woman you've become."

No fear, yet he was close enough for his throat to be torn out with one bite. She let her hands move aside, and closed her eyes, tears gushing. Her voice trembled.

"There. Are you satisfied?"

His hand touched her chin, tilting her head up, his other hand still on her shoulder. "I've never seen the Changeling form, but Mengmoshu has described it to me. He was quite accurate, I must say." His fingers traced her cheek, pa.s.sed over the point of a tooth, then across the curled upper lip while she kept her eyes tightly closed.

She was shocked when he took her in his arms, and held her close, her mouth up against his neck as he murmured.

"This is long overdue. We'd begun to wonder if it would ever happen. Judging by your reaction, I think you've been suppressing it. Is it because of Lui-Pang? What he might think of you? Tell me, Kati. Tell me what happened today. If it's too painful for words, then show me. I want to help."

His embrace was tight, and warm. Her arms had been stiffly at her sides, but now they moved around his waist, her sobs m.u.f.fled by his neck and shoulder. She moaned, and opened herself to him, and showed him everything that had happened on the knoll that day.

Huomeng only held her more tightly. "Do you love him?"

"I don't know. I thought I did, but it makes no difference now. I've lost him. He'll have nothing to do with a Changeling. I'm unclean to him.""That doesn't make you unclean. Kati, look at me. Open your eyes."He held her at arm's length as she opened her eyes. He was smiling, and his eyes weren't the angry slits of moments before. "Kati, you're beautiful as you are. Look at yourself again, without the fury, without

the anger."

He turned her around to face the mirror, and stood behind her, his arms encircling her chest beneath the b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She saw her eyes were amber now, the lips no longer curled back to expose the gums, but the canines were still there, protruding slightly over the lower lip when she closed her mouth.

"I see a monster," she said, leaning her head back against him.

Huomeng laughed. "Look again. You've seen that face before. You've described it to me many times,

how serene and beautiful you thought it was, with the long, flowing robe and emerald eyes guiding you to places I can only imagine.""Mandughai's image?" She looked harder. The face was familiar, but here it was streaked with tears, and the hair was a tousled mess.

"Yes. She shows you Her vision of a beautiful Empress. It's your face, Kati. That's the way She sees you, not as Mengnu, the ward of the palace, but as yourself, a Tumatsin woman.""An Empress?" She put her hands over his, on her chest."Over yourself, and the hearts of others," he said, then squeezed her gently. "Kati, I'm sorry about your loss of a love. I know the feeling, and it will pa.s.s in time. Slowly, but it pa.s.ses, even when the hurt is deep."

"You haven't experienced it," she said, looking at him in the mirror.

He smiled wanly. "Oh, yes I have, quite recently. While you were gone-at Weimeng's party-Sheyue met someone, one of the n.o.ble's sons. She says she's in love. Hasn't she said anything to you?"

"No! Not a word!"

"Well-it's finished. I suppose you knew about us."

"Yes. I wondered what you had to talk about." Kati watched her face. The tips of the canines were slowly drawing back inside her mouth.

"There was little talk, and I also wondered about you and Lui-Pang on all those long rides. Something has ended for both of us."

Kati twisted around in his arms, and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Huomeng. My hurt is so awful, I didn't even feel yours."

"Your masking is as good as mine, and we haven't shared such things before. I feel better just telling it to you."

"I do, too." She hugged him harder.

"Let's skip the exercise today. You need to relax."

"No! I don't want to! The work will take my mind away from what's happened, even for a little while."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, but first I want to take a bath."

He released her, then, and waited a long time while she bathed and put up her hair. There was little time left for their discussion on economic reform, or the arguments to be used with the n.o.bles, but there would be other times. This time, his tone of voice was not so argumentative, but more encouraging, and he looked at her more often now when she was making a point. By the end of the session, she realized that something had changed between them. They were no longer teacher and student, perhaps because they had shared a deep, personal pain with each other. Or was it that they had touched each other physically in a wonderfully comforting way?

She was back to normal when Weimeng rapped tearfully on her door to apologize for fleeing the room: She'd never seen a Changeling face before.

"I still think of you as my own child, my Mengnu, and the sight of you that way reminded me you're a gift from First Mother, a gift brought to me from another people. I love you with all my heart. Can you forgive me for fleeing from you?"

Kati embraced her. "I can forgive my mother for anything," she said, and there were more tears.

Weimeng insisted they have a meal together in her suite, and they talked about the events of the day, from her first transformation during sword drill to the second on the knoll with Lui-Pang. Kati gave her every detail, including the pleasure she'd felt until that last, horrible moment.

Weimeng listened with fascination, then suddenly giggled like a little girl. "He must have been very surprised," she said. "Some women I know would like to see the same reaction from their husbands." The image of Lui-Pang leaping up from her in terror was suddenly comical, and even Kati had to laugh. "There will be many men to pursue you," said Weimeng, "and they will be from good families."

They will flee from me as well.

"The Moshuguang a.s.sures me you'll be free to attend my next party. Sheyue met a wonderful young man at the one you missed, and now she's walking around in a dream."

"So I hear from Huomeng, who was seeing her until recently."

Weimeng looked surprised. "Really? I would think he'd be interested in a girl with more intellect than beauty."

"That was his error," said Kati, "and mine as well."

"You need a man with gentle breeding, not the son of a trooper. There will be many to choose from. You'll see, Mengnu. Men will be standing in line to meet you."Not after what happened today, thought Kati.As she left Weimeng's suite, Kati saw Sheyue coming down the hallway, serene and lovely as usual.

Sheyue frowned at her when she came close, and touched Kati's face.

"Mengnu! You've cut yourself!" she said, alarmed.

"Sword practice," said Kati. "I hear that you have a new love. You didn't tell me about him, Sheyue."

Sheyue lowered her eyelashes coyly. "I was going to when we had more time. Oh, Mengnu, I'm truly in

love for the first time! My heart is aching!" She clasped both hands over her heart, and sighed.

Kati glared at her. "It's unfortunate that someone as beautiful as you is also so silly and foolish," she said.

Sheyue gasped as Kati walked away from her. "Mengnu! What is wrong? Mengnu!"

Kati slammed the door behind her and smiled, feeling pleased with herself. She got ready for bed, and