Sexy: Behind The Lens Part 21

The drive there brings back memories of the first time we made the ride. It seems like so long ago; we weren't even together then. I think back on all the times we've spent laughing, hanging out, and all the nights I went to bed with a hard-on. The night we finally got together was the best night of my life. I mean, s.h.i.t, I had fallen in love with her before she was even mine. That makes this radio silence on both our parts that much harder. Every day, I've picked up the phone to call her, but I know if I do, it will only make things worse. I need to follow through with what I have planned before I even think of making a move.

When I get to the park, I make my way back to the waterfall. There is no other place I would do this. The waterfall is the perfect spot.

When I get home, I go inside and grin at Blake. "All done, brother," I say.

When I sit down, he gives me a pound. "f.u.c.king awesome. Hey, not to take away from that, but Shannon called while you were gone, and the shoot for that cover is soon. I'm so f.u.c.king stoked," he says, smiling.

I'm so glad s.h.i.t is coming together for him. He's been very supportive of me this week, and I honestly don't know what I would have done without him.

"That's great. Do you have an exact date yet?" I ask.

He shakes his head, flipping the channels. "She asked when I was available, so I gave her the dates. She was going to get in touch with everyone else and see what she could work out," he explains.

"Sweet." I put my feet up on the table and my arms behind my head. "I'm going to load everything up on the computer, and after I post it, we're going out back to have a few drinks," I say, grinning.

He laughs and gets up. "I better go grab some beer. You want Chinese?"

Just the thought of it makes me think of Kallie.

"Nah, pizza," I say.

He leaves, and I decide to go get the laptop and begin. I didn't expect it to take as long as it did, but I finally got everything taken care of. With my stomach in knots, I go outside and find Max and Brody sitting with Blake.

"What the h.e.l.l are you guys doing here? I thought you were going out?" I ask, shocked to see them.

Max hands me a beer and smiles. "Man, you think we would let you sit this one out on your own?" he asks.

I smile and sit down at the table with them. "You act like I'm about to step into the lion's den," I say.

We all laugh, and I sip my beer.

"Brother, you are about to," Blake says, lifting an eyebrow.

f.u.c.k, I am.

Chapter Ninteen.

Kallie This has been the worst week of my life. I've never had to deal with anything like this; the verbal abuse is more hurtful than you could ever imagine. I haven't cried. I won't. I know if I start, I'll never stop. This is exactly why I kept pushing him away, why I knew this was a bad idea. Now I'm in too deep, my heart doesn't belong to me anymore, he owns it. So how the f.u.c.k am I supposed to deal with this? If I stay with Jax, I may never be looked at with respect as a photographer, but if I let him go, I will never be whole again.

I lay my head back on the couch and look up at the ceiling. I haven't talked to him once since he left my place. I need to get a new phone, since mine shattered when I dropped it. I have no idea if he's tried to call, and I think that's why I haven't gotten a new one yet. I don't want to know. I'd rather think he has, than have it and see he hasn't. I told him to stay away, but now that he has, I'm even worse.

Brinley has stayed over a few times, but she has a life she needs to get to, she can't babysit me. Not to mention, she keeps telling me what an a.s.shole I am for allowing this to get the best of me. I tried to remind her of how she felt with Josh, but she reminded me that we love each other, so it's different. It's like she's been talking to Jax or some s.h.i.t. My house phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. That's right, I'm one of the few people that still have a house phone, but Braden suggested it when I moved in. I never use it though, so I know it's him calling.

"h.e.l.lo?" I answer.

"Hey, how are you?"

He's called me every day since it's happened to check on me. Every time he calls, I try to talk about something else. He's confessed to me that things with Sarah are getting worse, and he's thinking of just coming home. I hate that he's hurting too, but d.a.m.n it, I want him to come home. He's even let Dawn call me a few times. When I hear her little voice, those are the only times I smile, but it makes me realize how much I miss her too. Tiffany is making noises in the background, and I can only imagine how big she's gotten.

"Kall?" he questions.

"Sorry. I'm the same. So how are things there? Any better?" I ask.

He sighs. "I wish you'd stop avoiding the question. Things here suck. Sarah is being a b.i.t.c.h, and we aren't even sleeping in the same room. I've been sleeping in the room with the girls," He says.

s.h.i.t, I didn't know it was that bad. He needs to come home and start over.

"Braden, sometimes things just don't work out how we planned. I know you thought you'd be with her forever, but maybe you should come home now. I mean, I thought Jax and I had a future, but look at us," I say, my heart bleeding with each word.

He doesn't say anything for a minute, and I think maybe he's p.i.s.sed I crossed that line.

"Kallie, listen. The reason we aren't working is because she doesn't like this life. She feels like we rushed into marriage and kids. She wants to go out, party, and relive her youth. The reason you and Jax aren't working is because you're pushing him away," he says.

I go from feeling sorry for him to wanting to punch him in the throat.

"That's not what is happening*" He cuts me right off.

"Shut it and listen to me for a minute. You're pushing him away because you don't like what people are saying. Why the f.u.c.k would you accept that? You've gone on Facebook every day reading what all these a.s.sholes say, but you haven't once defended yourself, defended Jax. How do you expect it to work if you aren't trying?" he pushes.

"I don't see him on here defending me, defending us. He said if this happened, he'd tell everyone that he loves me. He hasn't said s.h.i.t, so why should I?" I say a bit too loudly.

I don't understand why the f.u.c.k everyone is sticking up for Jax. I'm getting sick of hearing it. Not only are people on social media saying hurtful things, my own family and friends seem to want in on it.

"Kall, have you tried to get in touch with him?" he asks.

I feel the tears, but blink them back. I will not cry.

"No, but he hasn't either," I mumble.

"How would you know that without a phone? Why don't you think about talking to him? He's probably hurting as much as you are." I hate when he says things that make sense. "I've never seen you as happy as when you were with him. I'd hate for you to lose that because of some stupid bulls.h.i.t. You know, it's going to be old news soon, and when it is, what will you have? Nothing," he bluntly says. I get up to grab a drink to get this lump out of my throat.

I get up to grab a drink to get this lump out of my throat. "It's hard," I choke out.

He laughs, and I'm back to wanting to hurt him. "Everything worth having is hard," he says.

I lean against the counter and sip my water. "When did you get so d.a.m.n smart?" I ask.

We talk for a while longer until I hear Sarah yelling in the background. He sighs and tells me he'll talk to me tomorrow, but not before telling me again to talk to Jax.

As much as I miss him and want to call, I just can't do it yet. I spend the majority of the day editing photos. The more I edit, the more I feel like I need to fight for myself. This is my life, my world, and Jax is a part of it, or at least I hope he still is. I haven't posted anything on Facebook since the whole thing happened. Sure, I've been on torturing myself, but I haven't posted any of my photos. I decide the first step in fighting for myself is getting on and posting a few of my photos. Maybe people will see that and stop. I log in, and just like it's been every day since, I have a ton of notifications. I click on them to make it disappear, and I happen to see one from Jax.

My heart starts pounding and my hands start sweating. I'm so nervous to see what it is. With a shaking hand, I click on it and wait for it to pop up. When it does, it's a video. Above it, it says, "You want the truth, well, here it is." Before I hit play, I notice that it's been shared over three hundred times. d.a.m.n. I take a deep breath and press play.

"I felt like I needed to say something. Sometimes what you see isn't what you think. Kallie and Jax are in a relationship, and a d.a.m.n good one." Max's smiling face is the first one I see, and it makes me smile right back.

"Hey. Most of you know Jax is my best friend, and I need to say this. What he and Kallie have is f.u.c.king real. The s.h.i.t that is being said about them is messed up and completely uncalled for. You think you know someone because you follow them on Facebook, but you don't. He's not just a model, he's a guy, and he is in love. I think it's s.h.i.tty that you guys trash people you don't even know because Kallie is one of the best people I know. And definitely my favorite photographer. Instead of being nasty, you should be supportive. I know I am." Blake's sweet words have tears swimming in my eyes.

"Kallie is my best friend. That's right; you guys probably didn't even know that. She's stuck with me through a lot of s.h.i.t, and I'm sticking with her through all of this. Jax and Kallie have the best relationship I've ever seen. I've never seen my girl so happy, and for people who don't know them to make such horrible comments is sickening. I love you, Kallie." Brinley has talked to Jax, that b.i.t.c.h. I laugh at myself for my thoughts, but it fades quickly when I see Jax. Not only see him, but see him at the park with the waterfall behind him.

"You all had your say, now it's my turn. First of all, I think it's f.u.c.ked up that I need to come on here and defend my personal life, but for my girl, I'm going to do it. We met at a shoot, and I was attracted to Kallie right away. She took my breath away. I knew then I needed to be with her. I asked her out, and you know what she said? I don't date models and I definitely don't f.u.c.k them.' She wanted nothing to do with me. I'm the one who chased her. We became friends because that's what she would allow, and I was willing to have her any way I could. For months, we had this amazing friendship, a friendship that just brought us closer and closer together. I fell in love with her before we even had our first date. I mean, can you believe that? When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I kissed her. I did. She, finally, after months, told me she was willing to give us a chance. I will tell you right now that being with her has been the happiest time of my life. She makes me a better person; she makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. She is my world, my everything. I am completely, totally, hopelessly in love with her. So for those of you that think I'm the one who settled, you have that wrong. She settled on me, and I promised her I would never let anything happen to her, and I won't. I won't allow you to attack her or her work. She's a d.a.m.n good photographer*the best. Her photos speak for themselves."

I have to hit pause for a minute because I can't even see his face anymore I am crying so hard. I can't believe he did this. He went online, declared his love for me, and defended me to the wolves. I wipe my eyes and hit play again.

"Anyone lucky enough to work with her will tell you that. She doesn't deserve this s.h.i.t, and I won't allow it any longer. So I'm here publicly telling you all the real story. You can bet your a.s.s you'll see a lot more photos of us on my page, because to me, there is no other woman as beautiful as mine. I'm honored that she broke all her rules to be with me, and I want the world to know that my heart belongs to her completely. Kallie, I love you, baby, and I'm sorry." The video stops, but my tears just continue.

After about a half hour of letting myself cry, I get up and go take a shower. I'm still in complete shock. He not only did what he promised he would, but he got Max, Blake, and Brinley to defend us too. It's now my turn. I need him to know that I'm sorry. Not on social media though, that will come. I need to tell him in person.

I get out of the shower and get myself dressed in a pair of jeans, a black shirt that hangs off one shoulder, and my flip-flops. I dry my hair and pull it into a ponytail. I apply my makeup and look at myself in the mirror. It's the first time in a week that I feel like myself again. I leave the bathroom and go get my purse and keys. I open the door and lock it behind me. I walk down the hallway and decide to take the stairs. I smile on the way down, thinking before Jax I never took the stairs. When I get into the car, I feel a little nervous, but I put the key in the ignition and head to Jax's. The closer I get, the more my stomach gets nervous b.u.t.terflies. When I pull up to the house, my nerves are getting the best of me, and I need to sit and take a few deep breaths before I get out. I notice Brody and Max's cars are both here, and that just adds to my nervousness. With my stomach in knots, my heart pounding in my chest, and a lump in my throat, I knock on the door. I blow out a breath and wonder if they're in the backyard. They won't hear me knocking. Just as I turn my head to see if the gate is open, I hear the door. I turn and see Jax standing there.

He opens the door for me, and I step inside. I look up at him, and I can't stop the tears. "I'm so sorry."

That's all I get out, and he wraps me in his arms. It makes me cry harder, and I realize how much I missed him. When I'm in his arms, I feel safe, comfortable, at home. I need to tell him everything, though. He deserves that much. I pull my head off his chest and look up at him.

"Can we talk?" I ask. He wipes my tears and grins at me.

He wipes my tears and grins at me. "Yes."

He holds my hand and leads me to his room. He closes the door behind us, and I turn to face him.

"I saw your video," I say and he winks as we sit on the bed. "You told me you'd fight for us, so now it's my turn. I'm sorry I pushed you away, but I was so scared. Everything was falling apart, and I lost control of it all. The only thing in that moment I wanted to do was make it all go away, to have it all be back to the way it was," I admit.

He squeezes my hand. "Baby, you never need to push me away," he says.

I place my finger over his lips. I feel him smile against my finger, so I pull it away.

"I need to say this," I say and he nods. "I thought if I pushed you away, that things would go back to the way they should be. That my career would be safe, and you wouldn't need to deal with all the backlash of being with me." He goes to interrupt, and I raise my eyebrows. He chuckles, so I just continue. "I had the most miserable week of my life. The more I didn't talk to you, the more miserable I got. I realized that the only thing that matters to me anymore is you. You are what makes me happy, you are what makes my heart beat, and you are worth giving up everything for." He wipes the tear that escapes, and I smile. "When I went on Facebook, it was with the intention to post some new photos, thinking that was the first step in fixing all this, but once again, you surprise me. When I saw that video, when I saw you at the waterfall, my heart started beating again. This is where I belong...with you. I'm sorry I pushed you away, but I promise you I won't ever do it again," I say.

He looks at me, smiling, and I can't help but smile back.

"Are you done?" he asks.

I nod my head, and he smashes his lips to mine. I open right up to him; when our tongues collide, my entire body is awakened. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pulls me onto his lap, keeping his arms around me. This kiss is filled with apology, love, and promise. This is where I belong, with him for the rest of my life.

Chapter Twenty.

Jax She didn't even need to give me that apology; having her show up at the door was all I needed. When she was done, I couldn't wait to kiss her. When I did, holy s.h.i.t, it was like I hadn't tasted her in years. I can't stop now, now that she's in my arms again. I break the kiss and run the backs of my fingers down her face.

"I love you," I say.

She smiles and rubs my neck. "I love you too," she says, smiling.

I let my hands drift down to the bottom of her shirt and lift it over her head. She's wearing a strapless gray bra, and I can't get it off her fast enough. Once her t.i.ts are bare to me, I kiss her again and cup each one. She moans and breaks the kiss, tossing her head back. My c.o.c.k hardens as I kiss a path down to her t.i.ts. I feel her nipples harden on the palms of my hands, and I pinch each one before taking one in my mouth.

"Oh G.o.d," she moans.

I can't take it. I stand up and walk to the side of my bed. I lay her down and unb.u.t.ton her jeans, slowly pulling them down her legs, letting them fall onto the floor.

"Move onto the bed, baby," I tell her. She does as I pull off my shirt and step out of my jeans. Her gaze wanders all over my body, taking me in, and it feels so d.a.m.n amazing to be wanted like this again. I climb on top of her and grin. "I missed you so d.a.m.n much." I don't even let her respond.

I kiss her with a promise of showing her just how much. When she rubs her p.u.s.s.y on my hard c.o.c.k, I move down to her t.i.ts and suck on each one, making her moan. I kiss down to her panties, making sure to kiss her lips tattoo before hooking my fingers inside the elastic. I pull them off and throw them across the room. I take her in, her heavy breathing, hard pink nipples, and p.u.s.s.y glistening with her arousal. I take two fingers and run them between her wet folds.

"Jax," she moans.

Hearing her whisper my name while she clenches onto the covers is something I'll never get tired of. I settle between her legs and kiss her p.u.s.s.y. She rubs against my face, and f.u.c.k, it's hot. I kiss her as if I were kissing her mouth, causing a string of moans to escape her. I start licking her from her a.s.s up to her c.l.i.t. She nearly bucks off the bed when my tongue touches her c.l.i.t. I pin down her legs and lick at her c.l.i.t.

"Oh f.u.c.k," she cries out and I move one hand down slamming two fingers into her. "Yes!" The faster I f.u.c.k her with my fingers, the faster I move my tongue on her c.l.i.t. It doesn't take long before I feel her tighten on me, and when I suck on her c.l.i.t, she explodes around me. "Oh G.o.d, Jax."

I remove my fingers and lap up every drop until she's done. I make my way back up and grab a condom out of my nightstand on the way. I lay it on the bed and kiss her. She moans over and over while I swallow down each one. When I pull away to catch my breath, she looks up at me.

"So f.u.c.king good," I whisper. She runs her hands down and rubs my c.o.c.k through my boxers. I growl and pull them off. "I need to be inside you, Kallie."

She grabs the condom and rips it open. She starts rolling it down my c.o.c.k, and I could come just from this alone.

"Jax, I need you. I missed you so much, and I need to feel you, to make sure this is real," she says.

d.a.m.n, do I know that feeling. It's like the first night she stayed with me when I wasn't sure it was a dream. I position myself at her entrance and slowly push myself in. Her tight p.u.s.s.y is sucking me right in, wrapping me in her heat. I push all the way in and still.

"Baby, this is real. It's you and me," I breathe out.

I wrap my arms around her, and she holds onto my neck. I don't rush. I take my time, letting her know just how real this is. And maybe it isn't just for her-it's for me too.

I pick up my pace, and she meets me thrust for thrust. I know I'm not going too last long, not this time. I reach between us and rub her c.l.i.t.

"f.u.c.k," she cries out and I can feel her p.u.s.s.y tightening around me, and it makes it hard to keep going without blowing my load, but I manage to keep up my pace. When I quicken my rubbing on her c.l.i.t, she screams. "Oh G.o.d, I'm going to come."

"That's right, baby, come. Let it wash over you." She does, screaming my name, and I follow right behind. "f.u.c.k, Kallie." Once we're both done riding out our o.r.g.a.s.ms, I kiss her, letting her know how much I need her. I rest my forehead on hers and kiss her nose. "I love you," I say breathing heavily.

She smiles and brushes my hair off my face. "I love you too." We lie there, just holding each other, enjoying every second of being back in each other's arms. "Jax?" she says.

I turn her to face me, kissing her lips. "What?" I ask.

She runs a hand down my arm, tracing a few of my tattoos. "I want to make a video too, but I broke my phone," she mutters.

I smile and hold her closer. "You don't need to make a video, I know how you feel," I tell her.