Sex-education Part 10

The life-histories of plants and animals as taught in the best nature-study[13] are important in forming att.i.tude towards reproduction and giving a basis for simple and truthful answers to the child's questions as to the origin of the individual human life. The publications listed in the last section of this book under the headings "For Girls" and "For Boys" will help parents and teachers.

There is need of little private hygienic instruction, but of much guidance away from harmful habits. This will be indicated in the next section which considers masturbation as it concerns children of both s.e.xes and all ages.

[Sidenote: Protection.]

The protection of children from corrupting influences is an important work of s.e.x-education in pre-adolescent years. Probably the greatest safety lies in parents giving simple facts regarding reproduction and in cultivating confidence so that any accidental contact of their children with vulgarity will be counteracted in advance. Many parents, especially mothers, have found this possible.

[Sidenote: Girls' preparation for p.u.b.erty.]

In the years between ten and twelve every child should learn from a parent or other adult confidant some general facts regarding their approaching p.u.b.erty. This is especially important in the case of girls, for many a girl has been physically and mentally injured because a prudish mother has procrastinated too long the giving of information regarding the first menstrual period. The facts in the first thirty pages of W.S. Hall's "Life Problems" should be known by many girls of eleven and by the great majority before thirteen. Some books for young girls are defective in that they avoid reference to the coming changes. I see no excuse for a s.e.x-hygiene book for girls who are too young to be trusted with the simplest knowledge regarding menstruation.

Such children should be interested in nature studies and perhaps the elements of general hygiene, but certainly not in books with curiosity-stimulating t.i.tles.

[Sidenote: Special needs of boys.]

Since boys entering p.u.b.erty pa.s.s through no such sharply defined beginning as girls do, the information they need in advance is not so specific. At the same time, we must recognize that the average boy under twelve years picks up more information regarding s.e.xual life than a girl does, and so the problem of teaching self-control comes earlier, although the average girl enters p.u.b.erty a year or two before the boy.

Parents and teachers must recognize the fact that s.e.xual tendencies come to many boys several years before p.u.b.erty, and masturbation and even premature s.e.xual intercourse are possible problems with many boys long before the twelfth year. The boy's early gathering of s.e.xual information is not without advantage, for it becomes possible for parents and other adult confidants to explain many important truths as to the proper use of his s.e.x organs and as to his conduct towards girls. All this can be done with the average boy of eleven or twelve and with hundreds of even nine and ten without any fear of giving information that is startlingly new and without any danger of giving a nervous shock.

[Sidenote: Cautious teaching of girls.]

It is not so with average girls of equal ages, if we may accept the opinion of many women who are trained in science and medicine. Specific information as to the functional relationships of the two s.e.xes is said by many educated women to have been absolutely new and startling to them at twenty and twenty-five years. Evidently there is a special reason for gradual and cautious teaching of girls, and so it is probably best, as many parents urge, that in pre-adolescent years the girl's instruction in social-s.e.xual lines be training in modest deportment and a proper reserve towards boys. This ought to be sufficient for the girl's protection until gradually in adolescent years she learns the whole story of life, probably several years later than her boy friends whose natural leadership in s.e.xual activity makes their early information desirable as a protection to both s.e.xes.

[Sidenote: Children's friendships.]

In the pre-adolescent years parents and teachers should cooperate in developing a spirit of group fellowship between boys and girls and at the same time instill into the boys something of that chivalrous and protective att.i.tude of boys towards girls such as one finds in the families of the highest culture. I emphatically mean "group fellowship," for it is certainly undesirable to encourage in pre-adolescents any tendency towards paired comradeship. It is certainly best that boys and girls should have many good friends of both s.e.xes. The real truth back of the old adage "two is company and three is a crowd" makes the "crowd" highly desirable for both pre-adolescence and early adolescence, for in these years it is friendship and not romantic love that will be most helpful in the later life. As one step in this direction, all sensible adults should show their disfavor to the abominable habit of teasing small children concerning their best friends of the other s.e.x. Parents and teachers will do some of the best work in the larger s.e.x-education if they begin in pre-adolescent years to develop the social life of the children along lines similar to those suggested above.

[Sidenote: Summary.]

Summarizing, it is evident that there is very little direct s.e.x-instruction suitable for pre-adolescent years. So far as the child's own life is concerned, it now seems clear that parents or other adult confidants must instruct individuals, or possibly small uniformly selected groups. Cla.s.s instruction seems out of the question except for life-history studies of animals and plants. On the whole, then, there is nothing radical or impossible in the proposition that there should be a beginning of s.e.x-education before the advent of adolescence.

-- 26. _Hygienic and Educational Treatment of Unhealthful Habits_

[Sidenote: Problems of children.]

All adults should take a sane and scientific view of the s.e.x problems that are likely to come even to normal children. We must remember that they are born with s.e.xual mechanisms that may easily and automatically lead into harmful habits unless parents and teachers guide hygienically and mentally along the lines that are known to offer safety.

[Sidenote: Masturbation.]

Concerning habitual manipulation of the s.e.xual organs of either s.e.x, known in medical literature as masturbation or self-abuse (often erroneously called "onanism"), there are certain facts that are important for the guidance of all parents and teachers. I discuss it in this connection since the problem often arises in the later years of the pre-adolescent period.

[Sidenote: Does not indicate degeneracy.]

It is absurd to suppose that the tendency towards the habit means degeneracy or innate viciousness of children. Young horses, dogs, monkeys, and other animals sometimes form a similar habit, the stimulus being some irritation of the s.e.xual organs. Hence, it is not at all unnatural when children attempt to relieve their irritated organs by friction, and then it is inevitable that the sensitive nerve endings will give sensations that are more or less pleasurable and satisfying, depending upon the s.e.x, age, and emotional peculiarity of the individual child. This fact suggests to parents and teachers the methods of prophylaxis; namely, avoid (1) irritation of s.e.xual organs and (2) opportunity for manipulation.

[Sidenote: Irritation.]

[Sidenote: Circ.u.mcision.]

With regard to irritation, the first sign of such disturbance may appear in babyhood. In the case of boys, whose structure renders them vastly more liable than girls to external irritation, the family physician should make sure during infancy whether circ.u.mcision or a stretching of the prepuce (foreskin) may be desirable. According to Dr.

Emmet Holt, the eminent pediatrician, about one male baby in four or five is born with an elongated or tight prepuce that needs surgical attention. A corresponding abnormality of the c.l.i.toris is sometimes found in baby girls. Some radical surgeons advocate universal circ.u.mcision of boys because they believe that it reduces local irritation, favors cleanliness, tends to prevent masturbation, and reduces susceptibility to the venereal diseases. There is certainly some truth in these claims; but some conservative surgeons point out that for the great majority of boys all these advantages may be obtained by reasonable attention to hygienic habits, that orthodox Jewish and other circ.u.mcised boys are by no means free from harmful habits, that some boys are more irritable after circ.u.mcision, that preputial stretching is often a good subst.i.tute for circ.u.mcision, and that the taunts of other boys often make circ.u.mcised boys too conscious of their own mutilation. A scientific doctor who has no special financial interest in the increase of surgical operations and who carefully reviews both the radical and conservative literature relating to circ.u.mcision, will not hasten to submit boys to this operation until it is certain that their s.e.xual organs happen to have congenital deformity that only radical surgical treatment can correct.

[Sidenote: Hygienic rules.]

In addition to making sure that uncleanliness or structural abnormality are not responsible for irritation of s.e.x organs, there are some special hygienic rules useful for parents and teachers who have charge of children. Most important is avoidance of habit formation. Clothing should be well adjusted to avoid pressure and friction of the s.e.xual organs, and so constructed (especially night clothing) that it is not convenient for the hands to reach the organs. Normal boys require pockets, but they should open at the waist-band and not at the side of the hips. The reason for these suggestions is evident. When we recall that little children naturally tend to explore themselves, such as by putting fingers into the mouth, feeling their toes, inserting foreign objects into nose and ears, and when we also recall how quickly a child may learn the habit of sucking its thumb, we must realize the importance of guarding the child from extending such activities to its s.e.xual organs, which, because they possess the most sensitive nerve endings in the body, are most liable to lead to habitual manipulation.

In the light of such facts, it is nonsense to a.s.sume, as so many good mothers have done, that only innately vicious children learn masturbation. The truth is that in the case of most children under twelve this habit has an origin no more vicious than such habits as thumb-sucking; and in all cases of habits, parents and others responsible for the children should be given the blame.

[Sidenote: Other suggestions for parents.]

The following suggestions in addition to those above are likely to help parents do much towards avoiding or solving the early s.e.x problems of their children. These facts apply also to later years.

Have children sleep on a hard mattress. The old-time feather bed was dangerous. There should be light-weight covers, and the room cool.

Children should sleep on either side, _rarely_ in the unnatural back position. Aim to have regular sleeping hours; but do not send children to bed unsupervised when they are excited and not tired enough for immediate sleep. Have them arise as soon as wide awake in the morning.

Never punish children by sending them to bed.

[Sidenote: Dangers of privacy.]

Do not leave children to their own devices; they may naturally fall into dangerous play. Privacy is often demanded by the moods of adults, but it is dangerous for children. A certain camp for boys has the commendable rule that the boys have no privacy during the entire summer. Many educators and physicians condemn private bedrooms or cubicles in schools for boys.

[Sidenote: Athletics.]

A strenuous life of physical and mental activity is the best solution of personal control of s.e.xual instincts. Reasonable athletics and study make an ideal combination for both boys and girls. And yet we must not trust absolutely to athletics or other physical work, for there are certainly many individuals whose s.e.xual desires are not controlled by muscular exercise. Much of the formal athletic training may have no more influence on s.e.xual control than dogmatic creeds.

[Sidenote: Drugs.]

Strong condiments and alcoholic drinks are known to be s.e.xual excitants for many people, and for this and other hygienic reasons should be forbidden to children. There is a widespread, but still undemonstrated opinion that tea, coffee, tobacco, and strong condiments have an exciting effect. However, there is plenty of scientific authority, based on other hygienic grounds, for avoiding these at least during the years of growth.

[Sidenote: Constipation.]

Constipation is likely to cause s.e.xual irritation, and hence this is an additional reason for submitting children to competent doctors for treatment of this disturbance which so seriously affects general health, especially by auto-intoxication.

[Sidenote: Bathing.]

Cool bathing in the morning, especially of the s.e.xual organs, is hygienic, except for girls during the monthly periods (including two days before the expected menstrual onset). For various reasons, bathing in very warm water should be very limited, and then only for cleansing.

[Sidenote: Form of instruction.]

In hygienic instructions to children, avoid giving them any ideas concerning the supposed prevalence of the habit of masturbation. There is a dangerous tendency to follow the crowd. Also, the habit should never be described to children except as "unnecessary handling of the s.e.x organs." It is dangerous to suggest to children, as certain books do, that there is any pleasurable sensation resulting from manual manipulation of the organs, for the force of suggestion or curiosity has led some children to experiment with themselves until they formed the habit.

[Sidenote: Symptoms.]

There are no absolutely certain signs or symptoms, and those suggested by certain authors, especially by quack doctors, make young people and even parents and teachers judge some individuals in an unfortunate way.

Especially should parents and teachers remember that there is absolutely no scientific basis for supposing that great diffidence, indigestion, pimples on the face, boys' lack of interest in girls, and numerous other popular "signs," are indications of the masturbation habit. Like the symptoms in patent-medicine advertising, the above "signs" are so general that they are sure to fit some cases.

[Sidenote: Insanity.]

Do not tell children the ancient falsehood that insanity will surely result from handling the s.e.xual organs. It is true that masturbation is a common habit of certain types of insane people and of some neurotics; but it is probable that the habit is more often one of several factors rather than the direct cause of the nervous breakdown. However, it is scientific to say that the habit may weaken the nervous system and indirectly affect general health, especially in pre-adolescent and early adolescent years. Probably the greatest nervous damage comes because there is often greater excess than is possible in natural s.e.xual relations; the strain of all s.e.xual excess is more in loss of nervous energy than of secretions. The safest advice one can give children is that the doctors agree that unnecessary touching of s.e.xual organs has interfered with the health of many children and that those who avoid this are most likely to grow up strong in body and mind. This is the truth and practically the whole of the known truth that might have influence with young people.

[Sidenote: Mental habit.]