Season Of Passion Part 19

"There certainly are."

"Hungry?"

"Not really. You? I can go out to the kitchen and make you some lunch if you like." They had finished the deck, and agreed it was a work of art. "I hope the guy who owns this place appreciates your improvements. He ought to pay you to stay here."

"I'll tell him you said so." He put a casual arm around her shoulders, and they wandered out to the kitchen together, barefoot and brown. Nick had bought prosciutto and melon and a roast chicken that morning. And another package yielded peaches, strawberries, and watermelon. There was a long baguette of French bread and a beautiful slice of ripe Brie.

"That's not lunch. It's a feast."

"Well, Cinderella, for you, only the best." He swept her a low bow, and then straightened to stand very close to her. He held out his arms. She felt a pull like nothing she had ever felt before, and slowly she melted toward him. She couldn't have resisted if she'd wanted to, but she didn't want to. She just wanted to be there, next to him, feeling the warmth of his skin and the strength of his arms, and smelling the scent of lemon and spices that was already so familiar to her. Nick.

And then gently he put a hand under her chin and lifted her face to his and kissed her, softly at first, and then harder, his arms holding her close, his mouth holding tightly to hers.

"I love you, Kate," he said as he stood there, breathless, wanting her, watching her. But he had spoken the truth. She said nothing, not knowing what to say. He couldn't love her. He didn't know her. It was too soon. He said that to everyone. She couldn't do this. She couldn't let this happen to her.

"I love you. That's all. No questions, no demands. I just love you." And this time she reached out to him, and when she let go of him she said it, with a soft smile and a mist over her eyes.

"I love you too. It's crazy. I hardly know you. But I think I love you, Nick Waterman." She looked down at her feet. Seven years. Seven years. And now she had said it to a stranger. I love you. But he wasn't a stranger. He was Nick. There had been something infinitely special about him from the first moment she'd met him. As though he'd been waiting for her. As though they both knew he was there to stay. Or was she crazy? Did she only want to think that? She looked up at him searchingly and he smiled gently and made light of the moment to make it easier for her.

"You 'think,' huh? Boy, that's a gyp. You 'think' you love me." But the look in his eyes was teasing and he gently swatted her behind as he put their lunch into a basket. "Let's go eat on the beach." She nodded and they went off together, hand in hand, as he carried the basket with one powerful arm. He had the same kind of shape as Tom had had years ago. Tom had none of that left anymore. He had diminished over the years of sitting in his chair. But this man had never been diminished by anything. He was throbbing with life. "Want to go for a swim, Cinderella?" She grinned to herself. That name was going to stick.

"I'd love it." She had decided to trust him.

"So would I." He was leering unabashedly at the tiny orange bikini that had suddenly appeared, with a great deal of skin, as she peeled off her shirt and jeans. But his leering was so open and friendly that it only made her smile. "You expect me to go swimming with you looking like that? I'll drown for chrissake."

"Shut up. I'll race you." And she was off in a flash of orange and brown, long graceful legs dashing toward the water, as he followed appreciatively and then streaked out ahead, flashing past her and diving into the first wave. But she was close behind him, and they surfaced together a good distance out. The water was brisk and delicious on their sun-baked skin. "Beats the h.e.l.l out of the pool at the hotel, doesn't it?" He laughed at her remark and tried to dunk her, but she was too quick. She slipped quickly under water and darted between his legs. An attempt to catch her almost removed the top of her bathing suit, and she surfaced spluttering and laughing.

"See, smarta.s.s. You're going to lose that little Band-Aid you're wearing if you don't watch out." It was barely decent and she knew it. But all her bathing suits were like that. Felicia sent them to her, and the only one who ever saw her was Tygue. "Show-off," he accused.

"You're impossible."

"No. But I will be if I have to look at you like that much longer." She laughed again as, side by side, they set out for sh.o.r.e. It had been a long time since anyone had talked to her like that. And Nicholas did it in a way that amused her.

"I'm starving." She collapsed on her towel on the beach and looked hungrily at the basket.

"Go ahead, silly, dig in. Don't be so polite." He sat down next to her, and gave her a salty kiss. "Your family must have been very strait-laced. You're a very well-behaved young lady."

"Not anymore."

"Kate, are your folks dead too?"

She looked at him for a minute before answering, and then decided to tell him the truth. About that at least.

"They disowned me."

He stopped unwrapping the lunch to look at her.

"Are you serious?" He looked so shocked that it made her want to laugh. It didn't matter to her anymore. It was too long ago.

"Yes, very serious. I disappointed them, so they crossed me off their list. Or I suppose it would be more honest to say that they felt I had betrayed them."

"Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"Nope. Just me."

"And they did that to you? What kind of people are they? You were an only child and they threw you out? What the h.e.l.l did you do?"

"Marry someone they didn't like."

"That's it?"

"That's it. I dropped out of college after my freshman year and went to live with him. And then we got married. They never came to the wedding. We never spoke again. They crossed me off the family tree when we started living together. They didn't think he was good enough."

"That's a h.e.l.l of a price to pay for a man."

"He was worth it." She said it very softly and without regret.

"That's a nice thing to say about somebody. He must have been a very special guy."

She smiled again then. "He was." They didn't talk for a few minutes, and she helped him unpack the lunch. And then she saw something in Nick's face. Something a little bit hurt, or left out. "Nick?"

"Yeah?" He looked up, surprised. He had been lost in his own thoughts.

She reached out and took his hand in hers. "All of that was a long time ago. Some of it hurts, some of it doesn't. It all mattered then. A lot. But it's gone now. All of it. And ..." She couldn't say it, but she had to. She knew she had to. No matter how much it hurt "... so is he. He's gone too." Her eyes shone too brightly for a moment and Nick pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

"Don't be. There've been such good times too. Tygue. The books. Licia. You ..." She said it in a tiny voice and he sat back from her for a minute with a tender smile.

"Lady, one day ..." But he didn't dare say it. He just sat there smiling at her. "What?"

"Just-one day ..."

"Nicholas, tell me." She propped herself up on one elbow and smiled at him.

"One day, Cinderella, I'd like to make you Mrs. Charming."

"As in Prince Charming and Mrs. Charming?" She looked at him wide-eyed and he nodded. "But you're crazy, Nick. You don't even know me." Who was this man? Why was he saying all this?

"Yes, I do, Cinderella. I know you to the tip of your soul, and I'm going to know you better. With your permission, of course." He handed her the bread and kissed her softly on the lips. But she was looking more serious than he liked. "Does that upset you?"

"No, not the thought behind it. But Nick-I'm never getting married again. I'm serious about that."

"Famous last words." He tried to make light of it. He was sorry he'd brought up the subject. It was much too soon.

"I mean it. I couldn't."

"Why not?" Because my husband's not dead. Jesus.

"I just couldn't. Once, but not again. Up until two days ago, I could never even imagine loving a man again, and now I can imagine that, but not getting married." Then there was hope after all.

"Then let's just take one step at a time." She could tell that he wasn't taking her seriously, but she didn't know what else to say to him. "Prosciutto, melon?"

"You're not listening to me." She looked unhappy but he ignored her.

"You're absolutely right. Besides which, I'm an optimist, and I love you. I refuse to take no for an answer."

"You're a lunatic."

"Absolutely." He sat back happily with a hunk of bread and Brie and smiled at her. "And you are a fairy princess. Care for some Brie? It's terrific."

"I give up."

"Good." And then even he had to smile, when he thought of all the women over the years who would have given anything to hear him propose marriage, and the third time he'd seen them yet.

They polished off most of the lunch and then lay side by side in the sun for a time before going back to the water. And by then it was after four. "Had enough of the beach, Kate?"

"Mmm, ... " She was lying in the sunshine again, and tired from swimming. The salt water was running in little rivers from her temples to her neck and he leaned over and kissed them off with his tongue as she opened her eyes.

"Let's go home. We can get rid of all this sand. And oil, and salt, and bread crumbs, and watermelon seeds."

She laughed as she stood up and looked at the mess they'd left on the blankets.

"Looks like it was quite a party." She wrapped up the towels, he picked up the basket, and they walked slowly back to the house.

"We'd better go in the back way. He'll have a nervous breakdown if we get sand all over the house." It seemed a crazy way to live at the beach, but no crazier than anything else people from L.A. did.

"Yes, sir." She followed him in the back way, to a brightly decorated little yellow room. It had a striped circus awning, and three separate shower stalls, a half-dozen director's chairs, and a marvelous old-fashioned wicker chaise longue with a huge striped parasol overhead.

"The dressing rooms, Miss Harper. They're usually not co-ed, but if you trust me-"

"I don't."

He grinned at her. "You're right. Tell you what. Leave your bathing suit on." And laughing along with him, she complied and climbed into the shower with him. She was still laughing as he told her funny stories about the show while he washed the sand off her back, and then suddenly the chattering stopped, and he turned her slowly around to him. And slowly, hauntingly, under the spray of warm water, they kissed. She felt his arms go around her, and his body press against hers, and suddenly she was as hungry for him as he very plainly was for her, and they couldn't get enough of each other as the water rained down on them.

"Wait, I'm drowning!" She giggled as he moved and the shower ran full in her face. And laughing down at her, he turned off the water.

"Better?"

She nodded. It was very still without the purring of the shower in their ears. And the shower stall was filled with steam. Their hair hung loose in dripping strands, and there were beads of water on her eyelashes, which he gently kissed as he slowly peeled down the top of the bikini. He whispered gently in her ear as she ran her hands over his chest "You just lost your Band-Aid, Cinderella." She smiled but her eyes were still closed when she kissed him, and then he stooped to kiss her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He did it so gently that her whole body cried out for him.

"I love you, Prince Charming."

"Are you sure?" His voice was very serious as he stood up again, and she opened her eyes. "Are you sure, Kate?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I love you."

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" He had to know, though in his heart he already did. She nodded. He had sensed that about her from the first, once he had realized the extent to which she had been cloistered for years. In an odd way, it pleased him. It made him feel special, and made him know just how special she was. "Very long, darling?"

She nodded again, and he loved her all the more for it. "Since before Tygue."

"Oh, sweetheart ..." And then he pulled her close and held her very tight for a long time. He wanted to make up to her for years without loving, without a man. But he couldn't give her those years back. He could just give her now. And ever so gently he wrapped her in an enormous pink terry-cloth towel and carried her upstairs to the room where he slept. It was a lovely airy room that seemed to sail out over the sea. There were big picture windows, and fine old Early American pieces, and there was a somber-looking bra.s.s bed. It was not the room he would have chosen for her, but it was the room where he first loved her, and he loved her gently and well, caressing and stroking and entering her again and again, and at last she slept in his arms as he watched her. When she awoke it was dark.

"Nick?" She remembered what had happened but not where they were.

"I'm right here, darling. And you can't even begin to know how much I love you." It was a beautiful way to wake up, and she smiled as she cuddled back into his arms. And then suddenly she stiffened.

"Oh my G.o.d."

"What's wrong?" Had she remembered something painful? He was suddenly frightened. "What if I get pregnant?"

He smiled and kissed the end of her nose. "Then Tygue has a baby brother. Or sister, as the case may be."

"Be serious."

"I am serious. I'd like nothing better."

"Good lord, Nick. I've never even thought of having another child." She sounded so subdued in the darkness, and he held her closer.

"There are a lot of things you haven't thought of for much too long. We'll do something about all that next week. But this weekend, we can take our chances. And if something happens ... we'll live with it." And then he had a thought. "Or would you hate that very much?" Maybe she didn't want his child. He'd never even thought of that, and he looked down at her in the darkness. He could see her face clearly, and her eyes.

"No, I wouldn't hate it at all. I love you, Nick." He was all that mattered in the world as she kissed him again, and he slipped the covers away from her body and let his hands roam across her skin, as she smiled a long, slow, womanly smile.

CHAPTER 20.

It felt as though they'd been together forever. They had gotten up at seven and puttered around the house together. Gone into town for the paper, taken a walk down the beach, and had a huge breakfast which they concocted as a team. Even that went smoothly, as though someone had catalogued their abilities and figured out how each could complement the other. And there was such ease and comfort between them-it was that that astounded Kate. After years of celibacy, she did not even feel uncomfortable wandering around naked under his tee-shirt, and now the two of them were lying naked on a towel behind the dune nearest the house, concealed from any eyes but theirs. She marveled again at his beautiful body, as she propped herself up on one elbow and looked at him.

"Do you have any idea how extraordinary all this is? Or do you do this all the time?" The words embarra.s.sed her as soon as she had said them. It was none of her business what he did "all the time." But perversely, she wanted to know. The unexpectedly hurt look on his face as he sat up told her a great deal.

"What do you mean by that, Kate?"

"I'm sorry. I ... it's just ... you live in a different world, Nick. That's all. Things are very different for you than they are for me." She said it softly and regretfully. Maybe she didn't want to know after all. He reached out and gently took her shoulders in his hands, and looked at her until she looked back at him.

"You're right. Things are different, Kate. Or they have been. In some ways, anyway. When I was much younger, I ran my a.s.s off. I chased every woman who turned me on, and a few who didn't. I ran and ran and ran, and you know what? I ran myself out. I finally realized that there was nothing left to run after. Things got a lot quieter after that, and a lot saner, but a lot lonelier too. There aren't many women worth the trouble out there. Hollywood seems to be a mecca for stupidity, selfishness, and vacuousness. Women who'll sleep with you to further their careers, to get closer to Jasper Case, to be seen at the Polo Lounge at the right hour of the day, to get to the best parties, or maybe just to get a free meal and get laid. You know what I got out of all that? Zero. So why bother? Most of the time I don't. In a lot of ways, Kate, I've been as lonely as you have. And you know what I've wound up with? A slick apartment, a few rooms full of expensive furniture, a couple of good paintings, a fancy car. And all added up, my love, it's not worth s.h.i.t. And then, once in a lifetime, one moment, one face, one tiny speck of time, and you know you've seen every dream you've ever had. It's like that feeling of waking up in the morning, dazed and bleary-eyed but you don't quite know why, and suddenly in the middle of your coffee, you remember a dream. A flash of it and then a corner of it, and then a whole chunk of it. And suddenly you know the story and the place and the people you dreamed about. You know the whole thing, and all you want to do is get back there. But you can't. No matter how hard you try you can never get it all back. But it haunts you. Maybe for a day. Maybe for a lifetime. I could have let that happen to me, Kate. I could have let you haunt me for a lifetime. But I didn't want to do that. I decided to run like h.e.l.l and get back to the dream before it was too late, for both of us. That was why I came up to see you. I couldn't lose you, not after all these years of waiting. I didn't even know I was waiting for you, but by Thursday night, I did. And so did you." He was right too. She had. She had tried to avoid seeing it. She had told herself she'd never see him again. But she had known something, that strange feeling deep in her soul ... a whisper ... a promise.... "I love you, Kate. I can't explain it. I know it's only been a few days. But I just know this is right. I'd marry you today, if you'd let me." She smiled at him and let her head rest on his shoulders, as she gently kissed his neck.

"I know. It's incredible though, isn't it?" She lay back on the blanket and looked up at him as he watched her with those rich morning-blue eyes. The sky behind him was exactly the same color. "It's all moving so quickly. I don't know what to make of it. I keep thinking I can't be feeling like this. I keep thinking-I kept thinking," she corrected herself with an apologetic look and a smile, "that maybe you did this all the time. But that didn't explain how I feel. How can I feel this way about you so quickly? After all these years ... I don't understand myself." But she did not look unhappy. In fact, it was the first time he had seen her without the shadows haunting her eyes. That darting look of pain had been gone when they'd woken up that morning. She looked like a new person. And she felt reborn.

"Maybe that's how it happens though. Over the years, I've heard stories about people who've lived together for five or ten years, and then suddenly-zap-one of them meets someone else and gets married in two weeks. Maybe if you had to wait all that time to check it out, you knew it wasn't right all along. Maybe when it really happens, when it's right, when it's the person you were meant for, maybe then it just happens, bang, and you know it. That's what happened to me."

He lay down next to her on his stomach and kissed her on the mouth. "Kate?"