Searching For You 259 I Don't Deserve

In the bedroom, the moonlight seeped through the curtains. The moonlight overshadowed her face as she turned on her side. Hue Chi sat on the sofa while gazing at the woman he loved time and time again. Her brow twitches and she seems uncomfortable, like she is having a nightmare. His hand on her shoulder while he meditated and exerting energy to help her calm down.

In the same time and reality, her dreams overflow his mind. A piece of the puzzle he could put together, the pain and suffering she went through that he wasn't even aware of. How she suffered time and time again because of him. He never knew her hardships, he was never there for her at her times of sorrow when she needed him most.

Pain squeezed his hearts, a tear drop rolls down his face. He leaned in closer and planted a kiss on her forehead. A teardrop dropped down her face.

She flung her head to the side and moved slightly. Hue Chi disappeared from the room, afraid she may wake up. Yu Sha indeed woke up from the sad dream she had. She felt the teardrops on her face, unaware that one of those teardrops belonged to someone else.

Yu Sha sat up and wiped the tears from her face.
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"Atlas, was I dreaming of your past?" She thought. Her heart felt unsettled, the restless feeling she felt since arriving in Aires.

Yu Sha removed the blanket and got up to get a breather. Whenever she has this restlessness feeling, the only cure is to go somewhere where the skies expand limitlessly. It's only in such a place that she felt she could rest and be calm.

The last thing she remembers was calling the name Atlas. She a.s.sumed because she saw the portrait and felt affected strongly enough to see a glimpse of his past.

Yu Sha got out and sat on the balcony gazing at the twinkle stars. Her eyes soulless, emotions desolated.

Hue Chi hid at the side of the balcony door, watching Yu Sha. "Have you recalled your past? Will you hate me if you do?" He felt tormented that he wasn't by her side in her darkest moment, knew nothing of her pain and suffering. Yet at the same, constantly fight to have a place in her heart.

He struggled to calm down the throbbing pain in his heart and the hand that stabbed her.

When I met you again on the battlefield, I couldn't even recognize you among the men on the field. What happened to you, I knew nothing. The pain in his hand throbs violently and tears rolled down his cheeks nonstop.

And after that, I never saw you again, until the lifetime afterward. Hue Chi clutched his hand towards his chest trying to keep his raging emotion under control. He thought the whole time, he was fighting to create a world where she could be free but he was fighting to create a world to oppress her.

Hue Chi slumped backward towards the wall. Even in this current time, he doesn't even know who his enemy is. He had years to track down the enemy yet, had nothing on his hand. Could he really protect her? The world has changed with time. Just because he was born at the top of the pyramid, doesn't make him have absolute control of the world. The more he knew of her suffering, the less he wanted to have her close.

He couldn't make a single person happy, her, the woman he loves. "G.o.d must loves me so much, giving me opportunity after opportunity to have you in my life, yet, I couldn't keep you safe, keep you happy.... I don't deserve..."

Hue Chi scorned at himself with a sour expression.

The next day, Yu Sha woke up to the sun screaming at half of her face. She woke up groggily thinking of last night. Last she remembers she had a nightmare, went to the balcony and probably fell asleep on the balcony. How she ended up back on her bed?

She reached for her phone only to see that it was 2 hours pa.s.sed her flight. Yu Sha gaped and shuffled the few clothes she took out the night before into her suitcase.

She rushed out to the living room and caught glimpsed of a desolate back staring into the distant skies. The loneliness of that person's back stopped her in her track.

Yu Sha froze looking at the back that felt so familiar, the many deja vu she felt previously every time she saw this back towards her.

She crept up closer and called, "Hue Chi?"

Her gentle soft voice brought him back. He turned his heads to the side and caught a glimpse of her in his peripheral vision.

"Mmm.."

"Are you okay?" She asked.

He turned his body around to face her. How could she after all these times, always asked about his health and wellbeing in the most critical time? Could she always feel his turmoil emotions?

Hue Chi gazes at Yu Sha without blinking, but his eyes felt distant.

"You okayed?" Yu Sha asked.

"Do I not look okay?"

Her quirkiness kicked in. She replied, "Mm.. You looked like a man failed in love for the 37th times.

Hahaha…" She wasn't lying. That was exactly how she felt from his energy.

"Tsch.. For a person 2 hours late for her flight, you talked pretty big." He whispered sternly.

"So you knew! Why didn't you wake me up!" She blamed him.

"I wasn't the one who overslept."

She defended, "But you could still had woken me up!"