Sawn Off Part 29

"Yes," cried Violante, "money, money, money--always money. That's why I am kept for the pleasure of those two scapegraces, and mocked at by that saucy hussy of a Jessie. I wish I hadn't a penny."

"Hush, hush!" cried Mrs Max, "here is your guardian." As she spoke she hastily wiped her eyes--pretty dry this time--and put away her handkerchief, for voices were heard below.

In fact, half an hour before, Max Shingle had been rolling grandly along from the City, looking the full-blown perfection of a thick-lipped, self-inflated, sensual man, when he encountered Hopper, who hooked him at once with his stick.

"Hullo, Max Shingle!" he cried: "been doing good, as usual? Here: I'll come home to dinner with you," he continued, taking his arm.

Max swore a very ugly oath to himself; but he was obliged to put up with the annoyance--a feeling modified, however, by his curiosity being excited.

"I've just come from your brother d.i.c.k's," said Hopper, winking to himself.

Max was mollified directly, for reasons of his own; for, though over two years had pa.s.sed, d.i.c.k had kept his own counsel so well that not a soul, even in his own family, knew the full secret of his success. Hopper was as ignorant as the rest; but he a.s.sumed a knowledge in Max's presence that he did not possess.

"Is--is he doing well?" said Max, in an indifferent tone. "Hey?"

"I say, is he doing well?" shouted Max.

"Wonderfully! Keeps his brougham, and a carriage besides, for his wife and daughter."

"Ah!" said Max. "Is he civil to you? No music now, I suppose?"

"Only three nights a week," said Hopper, winking to himself. "Fine princely fellow, d.i.c.k. Ah! here we are. Very glad--I'm hungry. He wanted me to stay, but I would not."

Max opened the front door with his latchkey, and drew back for Hopper to enter which that worthy did, and began to wipe his feat upon the mat, which said in scarlet letters, "Friend, do not swear," etc.

"d.a.m.n that mat!" exclaimed Hopper loudly, as he caught one toe in the long pile, and nearly fell headlong, while Max gazed at him in horror.

"Couldn't help it," said Hopper apologetically. "Didn't swear, did I?"

"Indeed, sir, you did."

"Hey? What say?"

"You did, sir," shouted Max.

"Did what?"

"Swore--at the mat."

"Hey?" said Hopper, who had grown wonderfully deaf since he had been in the hall.

"I say you--swore--at--the--mat."

"I swore at the mat? Did I? Tut, tut, tut! How hard it is to break oneself of bad habits! Now, I'll be bound to say you never did such a thing as that, Max?"

Max shook his head.

"No, of course you would not. Ah, Max, I wish I was as good a man as you. It's wonderful how some men's minds are const.i.tuted."

Hopper took off an unpleasant-looking respirator that he had been wearing more or less--more when he was speaking, less when he was not; and when it was in its place it seemed to have the effect of sticking his grey moustache up into his nostrils, like a fierce _chevaux de frise_. Then he put his hat on his hooked stick, and his great-coat on a chair, so as not to confront the moral aphorisms that were waiting to catch his eye, and followed Max up into the drawing-room, where the ladies looked horror-stricken at the sight of the guest.

But there was no help for it; and Mrs Max, at a sign from her lord, put on her most agreeable air, though Violante gave him, uncompromisingly, an ugly look with one eye, which seemed to pierce him, while she clinched the shaft with the other, Hopper replying with his lowest bow.

The brothers Tom and Fred came in directly after,--Tom to offer his hand, while Fred gave a supercilious nod and went up to his mother.

Hopper nodded, and as soon as the dinner was announced, offered his arm to Mrs Max, and they went down to the dining-room.

A well-ordered house had Max Shingle, and his dinners were nicely served; and since he was obliged to receive the visits of Hopper, he made a virtue of necessity, trying all the dinner-time to lay little traps for him to fall into about his brother Richard. But as Hopper saw Tom lean eagerly forward, and Fred turn sharply to listen to his answers, while a frown pa.s.sed between the two brothers, he misunderstood every word said to him as the dinner went on.

"So Richard is doing uncommonly well, is he?" said Max.

"Hey? You're not doing uncommonly well? So I heard in the City. Some one told me your house was quite shaky."

"Who told you that?" cried Fred fiercely.

"Hey?"

"I say who told you that?" cried Fred, more loudly.

"I can't hear a word you say, young man," replied Hopper; "you must come round. This, is a bad room of yours for sound, Maximilian--I'd have it altered."

There were several little encounters of this kind during the repast; for Hopper, as soon as he saw the object of his host, strove religiously to frustrate his efforts, and with such success that Max gave up in disgust, and tried another tack, after making up his mind to call on his brother and become reconciled. This he was the more eager for, since it was a fact that he had lost very heavily of late, and his house was tottering to its fall.

"Ah!" said Max at last, as the dinner progressed slowly, "it's a pity, Hopper, that you have no money to invest."

"Hey? Money to invest? No, thank you. But don't talk shop, man. I wonder so good a creature thinks so much of money. But you keep a carriage?"

"Oh yes," said Max, smiling good-humouredly at his wife, as if to say, "You see, he will have his joke!"

"And horses?"

"Of course," said Max, smiling.

"There, don't put on that imbecile smile," cried Hopper. "There's only been one decent dish on the table yet, and I've got some of it now. You don't send your horses out to work in their nosebags? so don't make me work when I've got on mine. I'm hard of hearing, but I'm fond of my digestion. Don't treat your guest worse than your horses."

"You always did like a joke, Hopper," said Max.

"Joke!--it's no joke," cried Hopper, pointing at a pie before him.

"Look at that--there's a thing to eat! Look at the crust: just like the top of a brown skull, with all the sutures marked, ready to thrust a knife in and open it,--only it's apple inside instead of brains."

Mrs Max gave a horrified glance at Violante.

At last the dessert was placed on the table, and in due time the ladies rose, Tom following them shortly, and Fred, with a sneering look at his brother, rising, and saying he should go and have a cigar.

"You don't smoke, I suppose, old Hopper?"

"Hey? Not smoke? Yes, I do; but I shall have a pipe." Left alone, the visitor condescended to talk about Richard, and gave Max a full account of his handsomely furnished house; growing so confidential that, when he took his cup of coffee, he drew nearer and nearer, gesticulating as he described the rich Turkey carpets.

"He must be very rich," said Max at last, as he tapped the mahogany table with his fingers.