Savage. Part 39

The fellow's Adam's apple bobbed up and down. He swallowed just as fast as Lazarus could dump Elixir in.

"That should do him." Lazarus uncrouched himself and rushed backward.

I moved away some, and breathed again.

I didn't rightly know what to make of all this, but I was sure keen to see what would happen next.

What happened next was, the fellow let out a squeal that made my hair rise. Then he bolted up, buggy-eyed and wheezing, grabbed the edges of his box and leaped to his feet. He looked down at himself. He glanced at Lazarus, then at me. Then he cried out, "Whoooeeee!" and commenced to clap his hands and prance about on the floor of his casket. "I'm saved!" he yelled. "Lordy, Lordy, I'm saved saved!" Well, he hopped over the side and bounded toward me, weeping and laughing.

I was just too shocked and perplexed to get clear of him in time. He grabbed me and hugged me and kissed my cheek. And didn't he stink! I shoved him off, and he went skipping over to Lazarus and gave him a slew of hugs and kisses.

Lazarus acted more friendly toward him than I'd done. I reckon he was used to such doings. Instead of trying to free himself from the creature, he hugged him and patted his head. "No call to take on," he said. "You're fine. You're just fine, young man."

"I was hung hung! I was dead and gone gone!"

"You've been revivified," Lazarus explained, giving him another hug. "You've been returned to the land of the living with the aid of my patented Glory Elixir."

"Glory Elixir?"

"Good for what ails you."

"Glory! Glory hallelujah!" He broke away from Lazarus and I feared he might come after me again, but instead he dropped to his knees and hoisted his arms into the air. He gloried and hallelujahed for quite a spell.

He was still at it when Lazarus stepped around him. He walked toward me, looking solemn and thoughtful. "You've witnessed the miracle," he said.

"Witnessed something."

He laid an arm across my shoulders and led me toward the wagon. "It's truly a wondrous thing to behold, the restorative power of the Glory Elixir. It revives the dead! Just imagine the curative miracles that such a fluid works on the living, such as yourself. Why, with ten ten bottles at your disposal, I've no doubt but what you'll find yourself fit as a fiddle for a century at the very least." bottles at your disposal, I've no doubt but what you'll find yourself fit as a fiddle for a century at the very least."

We stopped at the rear of the wagon, and he climbed in.

While Lazarus was out of sight, I turned my attention to the other fellow. He was still on his knees, but he'd quit acting strange. His face had the same dingy gray hue as when he'd been dead, which was odd. Now that he was breathing again, seemed like his skin should've taken on a healthier color.

When he saw me looking at him, he smiled.

"How'd you like being dead?" I asked.

"Not much," he said.

"If you don't care for it, you'd best hurry off. Lazarus aims to rekill you."

"Trevor!" Lazarus shouted from inside the wagon.

"I thought he ought to know, actually."

The revived fellow wasn't smiling any more. But he wasn't lighting out, either.

"You'd best skedaddle," I warned him.

He just stayed kneeling there.

Lazarus crawled backward, dragging a wooden box out through the blanket. "Why'd you want to tell him such things?" he asked. He sounded a trifle peeved.

"Well, don't worry yourself. He's still here."

After climbing down, Lazarus called to him, "The lad's joshing you."

"Oh, I know that, Jethro."

Dr. Jethro Lazarus rolled his eyes heavenward. Then he pulled a bottle from the box, just as if nothing had gone amiss. "There's one," he said, and handed it to me.

"You told told me you intended to rekill him," I said. me you intended to rekill him," I said.

"Don't mean he he has to know it." has to know it."

"He'll know it quickly enough when you have a go at throttling him."

"I'll make it quick and painless."

"Tell you what, I'll make it quicker." Well, I swung around and tossed the bottle into my left hand and slapped leather with my right.

Lazarus yelled, "No!"

His buddy yelled, "Don't!"

Then my Colt was blazing, blasting up dust all around him. He sprang to his feet. He dodged about.

"Hold still!" I shouted.

He froze and reached for the sky.

"Please! Don't! Don't shoot!"

"No call to fret," I told him, and took careful aim at his chest. "Dr. Lazarus'll revive you."

Lazarus chuckled. "I do believe we've been found out."

"He's fixing to plug me!"

Shaking my head, I holstered the Colt.

The dead fellow looked quite relieved. He came toward us, watching me careful. Along the way, he dug a hand into a pocket of his trousers and dragged out a sort of rodent by its tail. It looked as flat as if it had gotten stepped on. He gave it a fling and it thumped into the casket. "How'd he catch on?" he asked Lazarus.

"You called me by my name, dummy."

"It was more than that," I said, rather pleased with myself. For the first time since the big shootout at the camp, I didn't feel horrible. I found myself smiling. "Why, do you two frauds actually fool fool folks with your game?" folks with your game?"

"More often than not," Lazarus said.

His partner came up to us. Even without the dead critter, he didn't smell any too fresh. "I'm Ely," he said, and stuck out his hand.

It was the same hand he'd used to rid himself of the rotten carca.s.s, so I didn't shake it but touched the brim of my hat instead. "Trevor Bentley," I said.

"Glad you didn't poke me full of lead. Care for a licorice?" He dug into his other pocket and came out with a stick.

It put me in mind of Sarah, and how we always ate just such candy when we visited town. I felt a little pull of sadness, but that pa.s.sed as I realized Ely'd used the licorice to blacken up his tongue and lips. It had darkened his teeth, too. I'd seen they were gray, which hadn't seemed right. Death shouldn't do that to a man's teeth. I hadn't caught on, though.

"No thank you," I told him, not wanting any truck with something he'd handled. "I don't wish to turn my tongue black."

They both laughed some at that. Ely tore off a piece of licorice and commenced to chew.

"Bootblack on your neck, is it?" I asked.

Lazarus clapped me on the shoulder. "You're too quick for the likes of us."

"And how is it you made your face such a color?" I asked Ely.

"Ashes," he said. He licked a finger in spite of it being one that had plucked the dead thing from his pocket, and took a swipe at his face. A path of gray came off. He had ruddy skin underneath. He grinned like he'd shown me a secret of the universe.

"You two blokes certainly went to a fair piece of trouble on my account."

"A sale's a sale," Lazarus said. "No hard feelings, I hope."

"Well, you put on a lively show. Did you try it out on that pair of rascals that came along before me?"

Lazarus shook his head. "I'm afraid we missed the opportunity. They rode up on us too quick. Had a chance to spot Ely."

"You don't travel along in the casket, then?" I asked the deceased.

He grinned, chewing and showing me his licoriced teeth. "Gets a mite close in there."

"I should think so. A mite smelly, too."

"Oh, Ely don't mind the smell."

"Nope," he said, and bit off another piece of licorice.

"You two certainly do beat all."

"Now," Lazarus said, "how many bottles of the Glory Elixir do you suppose you might like to purchase?"

I still held a bottle of the stuff. I shook it, and watched the red fluid slosh about. "What's it made of?"

"Secret herbs and spices from the Far East, guaranteed to..."

"Quit having me on, now."

"Gin and cherry syrup," Lazarus said.

"Is it, now?" Well, I believed him. I uncorked my bottle, took a sniff, then drank some. It tasted mighty fine and sweet, scorched my throat, and heated up my stomach. "And what does it cure, actually?"

Lazarus laughed. "Sobriety."

Though I had a vivid recollection of my bout with a hangover following too much whiskey with the boys, I judged that some Glory Elixir might be a fine thing to sip now and again. But then I figured Ely might've had a hand in filling the bottles. Real quick, I lost my thirst for the stuff.

"Suppose I pay you a dollar for the show, and you keep your Elixir?"

Lazarus scowled and rubbed his beard. Pretty soon, he said, "I tell you what. You keep your dollar and ride along with us. Scout up ahead. Then you let us know quick when someone's coming along so Ely can get himself set for a demonstration. We'll pay you handsomely for your services, give you ten cents on every bottle sold. How does that appeal to you, Trevor?"

I gave it some thought, then said I'd do it.

I went on over to General, mounted up, then waited while they loaded the casket into the wagon. It was good to be out of smelling range of Ely.

When they got the wagon moving, I rode on ahead.

They were quite a pair of rascals. They'd livened me up considerable with their antics.

For a while there, I aimed to follow the plan and scout ahead for them. It'd be a treat to see them have a go at tricking some folks.

I figured I might travel with them all the way to Tucson. They seemed like good company, if you don't count Ely's aroma.

I could see how we might get to be chums.

But chums of mine don't last.

If I stayed with them, they were bound to end up dead. Same as everyone else.

So I chose to spare them.

I was some distance ahead of their wagon by then, so all it took was to quicken General's pace. By the time I looked back, they were out of sight.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT.

I Get Jumped Later on that same day, another wagon came along. This one had a man and woman up front and a boy about my own age riding a mare alongside. I considered warning them not to be fooled by Lazarus and Ely, but chose to let them look out for themselves. If they were fools enough to fall for such a swindle, they deserved it. Besides, I judged it'd be lowdown of me to ruin business for those two chaps.

All I did was say "Howdy" as I rode by. The woman acted like I wasn't there at all, but the man and boy watched me close as if they feared I might be a desperado looking for a chance to gun them down.

Lazarus and Ely weren't likely to have much luck with this crowd.

n.o.body else came along. When the sun got low, I put some distance between me and the trail. I found a sheltered place in a dry wash. After seeing to General, I did some shooting practice. Then I made myself a fire and cooked up a can of beans.

Now that I'd regained my appet.i.te, the beans didn't seem altogether satisfying. They filled me up, but I had an awful hankering for fresh meat.