Sasar Prologue

Prologue

Just throw your thoughts away if you’re planning on reading this story of mine.

After two or three pages you’ll start questioning yourself, is it worth it for you to read this not-so-important story of mine. So let me advice you early on, stop reading this story. Just put down the book and walk away. At the very least, if there is a chance, just wait until this story is adapted to the silver screen. It is proven scientifically that humans normally would prefer watching films rather than reading books. I once read in a magazine that Malaysian in majority is not a community that likes reading since 28 million Malaysian in average read only one book per year.

A book a year, can you imagine that?

Who knows what pitiful book that the majority of Malaysian read, I’m really curious about it.

When riding a commuter or bus, try observing your surroundings. How many people actually will take out a book and read. Most of them will probably be sleeping, chatting with friends, watching videos or whatever it is that is on their smartphones and even worse, laughing by themselves while browsing through Instagram, Twitter, Keek (is that stupid application still relevant?), Facebook and whatever the h.e.l.l there is.

Anyway, have you ever thought about the probability of you reaching for this book, and then having the feeling of wanting to buy and read each sentence I wrote word by word is an intentional coincidence? In other word, what I’m trying to say now is that life is nothing more than coincidences that are purposely done by an uncontrollable outside force. What’s going to happen to me and the people around me in the coming days that I’ll doc.u.ment in this book is just is just a coincidence that’s planned, and the planner is none other than Allah, Jesus or whatever the name of the G.o.d that you worship (because I believe that religions are universal and not set, meaning whatever the h.e.l.l you worship, I don’t even want to know about it).

Seriously, I’m begging you; please stop reading this story of mine. You’re not Benjamin b.u.t.ton; your age increases by each second and you’re becoming older and death is just around the corner.

The things that will happen to me will become worse after this, believe it. I don’t know how to explain it to you clearly. I’ll try doc.u.menting my story as from as early as possible, but not too early from when the point I was born because if that is so, this story will become redundant and will bore you. That’s why it’s better for me to start from the days before I encounter that accursed thing.

The thing that will change my normal daily life to a d.a.m.nable one. Things that I shouldn’t have known. Things that made my days filled with darkness. Things that kept me from sleeping.

Talking about sleeping, I’ve lost count on how long it was since the last time that I slept. At first if you just sleep a bit later from when you usually do, it wouldn’t have that much effect on you. But eventually, after a day, two days, a week, a month, two months, I don’t know, you’ll start feeling that the concept that a human should typically sleep to stay normal and sane is an alien concept to you.

I’ve tried everything to the point of asking a Zolpidem prescription from a doctor. Everything failed. Even if I’m able to close my eyes, after not more than 10 seconds I’ll definitely wake up again with my chest panting heavily, worrying that something bad might happen. It is all because of that accursed thing that I found and keep that’s haunting me.

The doctor said that my insomnia is normal for a final year student that’s working on a thesis. He added that my brain was thinking too much, making it fail to give the right signal for the tired body to take a rest. But what I didn’t say to the doctor was that I was afraid to even sleep. I was afraid that if I sleep, something that mega bad would happen to me.

Even with all my ramblings, you still haven’t known my name yet, right? Let it be. I want you to know about it yourself. Ah, it’s not even that important. I bet that even if I die right now, it won’t leave any significant effect to the world. n.o.body will miss me, n.o.body will lament me.

I can a.s.sure that.

So, I think that since you’ve read to this point, you’re ready to read this sad story of mine until the end. That is, I remind you again, if you want. Don’t complain and say that I didn’t warn you since earlier that my story will end with something unpleasant.

Still reading? Whatever.

I’m tired of warning you already. Just take this as the final warning. But before that, I want you to look outside the window, do you see any crows?