Samantha at Coney Island Part 13

"I am sorry for 'em as I can be, and if this goes on much longer there don't seem much chance of Whitfield's buildin' his house on Shadow Island this summer."

And Josiah sez, "No indeed! if he can pay the doctor's bills and help, he will do well. But," sez he, "he is goin' to have quite a good job up to his folkses."

His uncle, Jotham Minkley, who is forehanded and a ship builder up in Maine, had invited Whitfield to come and take charge of some bizness for him, and he said he must bring Tirzah Ann and Delight. So it wuz arranged that they wuz goin' to stay for some time. We all thought the change would do Tirzah Ann good, and then Whitfield had been promised good pay for his work. And then wuz the time I tackled my pardner on the subject I had thought over so long. He looked so sort o' mournful over the hard times Whitfield wuz havin', and Tirzah Ann's and Delight's enjoyment of poor health, that I thought now wuz the appinted time for me to onfold this subject to him. This idee wuz that while Whitfield and Tirzah Ann wuz away up to Maine we should build a pretty little house for 'em on Shadow Island. "For," sez I, "the health and life of Tirzah Ann and Delight may hang in the balances, and if anything will help 'em I believe that dear old Saint Lawrence will." But Josiah demurred strongly on account of the expense. In fact I had to use some of my strongest arguments to convince him of the feasibility of my plans.

One of my arguments wuz that in all probability all our property would before long descend onto the children, and so why not use some now for 'em, while they wuz sufferin' for the use on't. That wuz one of my arguments, and my other one wuz, that he couldn't take any of his property with him. But he had got kinder mad and when I told him in a solemn tone, "Josiah Allen, you know you can't take any of your property with you when you die," he snapped out, "I don't know whether I can or not; it won't be as _you_ say about it."

"Well," sez I, in lofty axents and quotin' Skripter, "there is only one way you can take your property with you, and that is to send it on before you. Make friends with the Mammon of your wealth so that when you fail here it may receive you into a everlastin' habitation. Turn it into angels of Grat.i.tude and Love that may be waitin' to welcome you. Do good with your money. Lend to the Lord," sez I.

And Josiah wuz so pudgicky, he snapped out, "I didn't know as the Lord wanted to borry any money."

But I gin him such a talkin' to that I brung him to a sense of his sinful talk, and right then while he wuz conscience s.m.u.t for as much as seven minutes, I brung him round to the idee of buildin' the house.

But it wuz a gradual bringin'.

Of course he begged and beseeched to build it on Coney Island. Sez he, "I wouldn't begrech the money but spend it lavish, if the house sot there. I could go there and spend months and months of perfect bliss, and learn more there in one day than I could in years in Jonesville."

"Where would you build it?" sez I in frosty axents.

"Well, the top of one of them tall mountains in Luna Park Serenus tells on would be a good spot, near the beautiful waterfall where the boats full of happy Hilariors dash down the steep declivity and bound way off onto the water and sail away. The view would be so lively and inspirin', it would be equal to havin' a bra.s.s band in your bedroom."

"Yes, jest about like that," sez I. "Do you know what them mountains are made of? They're jest about as solid as your idees."

"Well, I might build it on the other side of Surf Avenue, nigh that long line of dashin' horses Serenus depicters, that go racin' and cavortin' round and round, bearin' the gay and happy Hilariors on their backs."

"How much do you spoze a lot would cost there, Josiah, if you wuz ravin' crazy enough to want it? All the property in Jonesville wouldn't buy a spot big as a table cloth, and I d'no as it would a towel."

"Well," sez he real sulky, "I can let my mind dwell on it, can't I?

That is some comfort."

"I wouldn't think on't too much, you don't want to tire your mind, it hain't over strong, you know."

It beats all how sometimes when you are doin' your very best for your pardners, they don't like it. He acted huffy.

But at last it wuz settled, Tirzah Ann's cottage wuz to be begun the minute they left, it wuz to be kep secret from 'em, and we wuz to have a surprize party there, to welcome 'em home. Well, from the very day it wuz settled begun my trials with Josiah Allen about the plan. My idee wuz to employ a first rate architect, but he sez:

"I can tell you, Mom, if that plan is made I shall make it. There hain't an architect in the country that could begin with me in drawin'

up this plan." Oh how I sithed and groaned when I see his sotness, and knowed he wuz no more fit for the job than our old steer to give music lessons on the banjo.

He went to the village that afternoon and obtained two long blank books (oh that they could have stayed blank) and three quires of fool's cap paper (well named) and a bottle of red ink and one of blue ink, besides black, and a dozen pencils of different colors, and after these elaborate preparations he begun drawin' up his plans.

He would roll up his sleeves, moisten his hands, and go to work early in the mornin', and set and pour over 'em all day, every stormy day, and every night he sot up so late goin' over 'em that he most underminded his health, to say nothin' of the waste of my temper and kerseen. And then he would call in uncle Nate Peed.i.c.k and they would bend their two gray bald heads together and talk about "specifications" and "elevations" and "ground plans" and "suller plans" till my head seemed to turn and my brain seemed most as soft as theirn.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "_And then he would call in Uncle Nate Peed.i.c.k and they would bend their two gray bald heads and talk about specifications and elevations till my brain seemed most as soft as theirn._" (_See page 195_)]

And sometimes Serenus Gowdey would be called in to aid in their deliberations, though their talk always led off onto Coney Island and rested there, he didn't git no other idees out of him. Josiah never called on a woman for advice and counsel, not once, though a woman stood nigh him who wuz eminently qualified to pa.s.s a first cla.s.s judgment on the plan. But no, it wuz males only who gin him their deepest thoughts and counsels. Once in awhile I would ask how many stories he wuz layin' out to have it, and how big it wuz goin' to be, and every time I asked him he said:

"Wimmen's minds wuz too weak to comprehend his views. It took a man's mind to tackle such a subject and throw it."

And that would mad me so that it would be some time before I would ask him agin, and then curosity would git the better of me and I would ask him agin sunthin' about it, but his reply wuz always the same:

"Wimmen's minds wuz too weak and tottlin' to tackle the subject." So all the light I could git wuz to hear him talk it over with some man.

I see that there wuz a great difference of opinion between 'em.

Josiah, true father of Tirzah Ann, seemed anxious mainly to unite display and cheapness. Uncle Nate seemed more for solidity and comfort. Sez Josiah to him:

"It is my idee to have the house riz up jest as high as the timbers will stand, the main expense anyway is the foundation and floorin' and I would rise up story after story all ornamented off beautiful and cheap, ba.s.swood sawed off in pints makes beautiful ornaments, and what a show it would make round the country, and what air you could git up in the seventh or eight story."

So he would go on and argy, regardless of common sense or Tirzah Ann's legs. And then Uncle Nate would reply:

"Josiah, safety lays on the ground, and in this climate more liable each year to tornadoes and cyclones, the only safety lays in spreadin'

out on the ground. Build only one story," sez he, "and a low one at that, and let it spread out every way as much as it wants to."

"But," sez Josiah, "to have every room on the bottom would take up all the lot and lap over into the river."

"Better do that," sez Uncle Nate, "than to have your children and grand-children blowed away. Safety is better than sile," sez he solemnly. And then I hearn 'em talkin' about a travelin' woodhouse.

Josiah advoctated the idee of havin' the woodhouse made in the form of a boat, only boarded up like a house, and have big oars fixed onto the sides on't so's it could be used as a boat, and a house. Sez he:

"How handy it would be to jest onmoor the woodhouse and row over to the main land and git the year's stock of wood, and then row back agin, cast anchor and hitch it onto the house agin." But Uncle Nate demurred. He thought the expense would be more than the worth of usin'

it once a year.

"Once a year!" sez Josiah. "You forgit how much kindlin' wood a woman uses." Sez he, "When she that wuz Arvilly Nash worked here I believe we used a woodhouse full a day. If we had a floatin' woodhouse here, we should had to embark on it once a day at least and load it up with shavin's and kindlin' wood. Samantha is more eqinomical," sez he.

"But," sez Uncle Nate, "I hearn that Whitfield's folks wuz layin' out to use a coal oil stove durin' the summer."

Josiah's face fell. "So they be," sez he.

But he wuz loath to give up this floatin' woodhouse and went on:

"How handy it would be for a picnic, jest fill the woodhouse full of Highlariers and set off, baskets, bundles and all. It would do away with parasols; no jabbin' 'em into a man's eyes, or proddin' his ears with the pints of umbrells. Or on funeral occasions," sez he, "jest load the mourners right in, onhitch the room and sail off. Why it would be invaluable."

But Uncle Nate wuz more conservative and cautious. He sez, "What if it should break loose in the night and start off by itself? It would be a danger to the hull river. How would boats feel to meet a woodhouse?

It would jam right into 'em and sink 'em--sunk by a woodhouse! It wouldn't sound well. And row boats would always be afraid of it, they'd be thinkin' it would be liable to come onto 'em at any time onbeknown to 'em, 'twouldn't have no whistle or anything."

"Yes it would," sez Josiah hautily; "I laid out to fix it somehow with a whistle."

"But it couldn't whistle itself if it sot off alone."

"Well," sez Josiah, scratchin' his head, "I hain't got that idee quite perfected, but I might have a self actin' whistle, a stationary self movin' gong, or sunthin' of that kind." But I didn't wait to hear any more; I left the room, and I shouldn't wonder if I shet the door pretty hard.

CHAPTER TWELVE

IN WHICH JOSIAH STILL WORKS AT HIS PLAN FOR TIRZAH ANN'S COTTAGE, AND DECIDES TO SEND HIS LUMBER C. O. W.

CHAPTER TWELVE