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She strikes a pose then begins to dance about.
Hey, hey, hey, whaddaya say!
Rowan's here, now we can play!
Hey, hey, hey, whaddaya say!
Look at me, I'm dead today!
Take a good look, don't you turn away!
Just look at me, Rowan, I'm dead today!
She stops and glares at me with a serious frown.
So what are you gonna do about it?
"Rowan?" Ben's voice slides in behind the morose prose. "What are you seeing?
Tell me what you're seeing."
Before I can open my mouth to answer, my 'self is hijacked yet again.
"Oh yeah, that's a great dress, a.s.shole-if I was going to some kind of retro masquerade prom, MAYBE.
Who the h.e.l.l wears that much puke green taffeta? It makes me look like abridesmaid from some kind of wedding from h.e.l.l." She unleashes a verbal a.s.sault then whispers into my ear, "Can you believe this guy, Rowan? He's got the fashion sense of a rock."
I just can't even move.
I'm just so tired.
Don't know why.
I'm so scared.
What is he going to do to me ?
"But, you know, that dress is just plain ugly."
What is he doing back there ?
Oh G.o.d no, please...
I'm sobbing inside.
"Will you quit messing with my hair you freak?" She shifts her view and yells angrily into the darkness, "Can't you see that you're scaring me?
"Yeah, that's it. Come around here where we can see you."
She turns her attention to me with a quickly uttered instruction, "Watch close, Rowan, here he comes."
Blinding light.
"Dammit! Did you see him, Rowan? Did you?"
I see nothing but darkness.
"All right you weirdo quit messing with my feet. Get up and turn around so Rowan can see you, fetish boy."
What is he doing now?
OUCH! That hurts!
What is he doing to my feet?Why?
My heart rattles in my breast.
I can hardly breathe.
I'm so frightened.
"Look at that. The moron can't even tell left from right.
"Move so Rowan can see you. Yeah you, you fathead, Rowan needs to see you.
"Oh, this is good. Look at this, Rowan. Sequined pumps. SEA FOAM GREEN sequined pumps. And would you look at how high those heels are!
Where the h.e.l.l did he get those things? Now I ask you, do I look like I have Barbie feet?"
A sudden flicker of light.
Psychedelic spots again.
"I think he's got a wiring problem in that place. The lights kept doing that."
Another bright flicker.
Pain rakes through my grey matter like a cheap wine hangover as the sudden switch of personalities occurs again. The throb hammers in my temples as the trio of alternating psyches begin a knock-down, drag-out battle for possession of me.
Oh sweet Jesus, she's so beautiful.
She's so close.
So close...
"What are you doing?
Please, no.
PLEASE let me go?!"
Please don't put that in my mouth.
Please no!Somebody help me, PLEASE!
Gagging.
Bitter.
"You shouldn't have given me that, you moron. You already gave me too much to begin with.
You ever hear the word overdose?
Sheesh! What an idiot. Man, I just don't care anymore.
Just let me sleep."
Heavy breathing. Struggle.
I feel so tired.
My chest hurts.
My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it.
Breathe.
I need to breathe.
"Come on you jerk, I'm not that heavy."
Panting.
Excitement.
Arousal.
It hurts.
Oh G.o.d, it hurts.
Why is my heart racing?