Rosmersholm Part 24

Rosmer. He got together all our old circle of friends at his house.

They convinced me that the work of enn.o.bling men's souls was not in my line at all. Besides, it is such a hopeless task, any way. I shall let it alone.

Rebecca. Well, perhaps it is better so.

Rosmer. Do you say THAT now? Is that what your opinion is now?

Rebecca. I have come to that opinion--in the last day or two.

Rosmer. You are lying, Rebecca.

Rebecca. Lying--?

Rosmer. Yes, lying. You have never believed in me. You have never believed me to be the man to lead the cause to victory.

Rebecca. I have believed that we two together would be equal to it.

Rosmer. That is not true. You have believed that you could accomplish something big in life yourself--that you could use me to further your plans--that I might be useful to you in the pursuit of your object.

That is what you have believed.

Rebecca. Listen to me, John

Rosmer (sitting down wearily on the couch). Oh, let me be! I see the whole thing clearly now. I have been like a glove in your hands.

Rebecca. Listen to me, John. Let us talk this thing over. It will be for the last time. (Sits down in a chair by the couch.) I had intended to write to you about it all--when I had gone back north. But it is much better that you should hear it at once.

Rosmer. Have you something more to tell, then?

Rebecca. The most important part of it all.

Rosmer. What do you mean?

Rebecca. Something that you have never suspected. Something that puts all the rest in its true light.

Rosmer (shaking his head). I do not understand, at all.

Rebecca. It is quite true that at one time I did play my cards so as to secure admission to Rosmersholm. My idea was that I should succeed in doing well for myself here--either in one way or in another, you understand.

Rosmer. Well, you succeeded in carrying your scheme through, too.

Rebecca. I believe I could have carried anything through--at that time.

For then I still had the courage of a free will. I had no one else to consider, nothing to turn me from my path. But then began what has broken down my will and filled the whole of my life with dread and wretchedness.

Rosmer. What--began? Speak so that I can understand you.

Rebecca. There came over me--a wild, uncontrollable pa.s.sion--Oh, John--!

Rosmer. Pa.s.sion? You--! For what?

Rebecca. For you.

Rosmer (getting up). What does this mean!

Rebecca (preventing him). Sit still, dear. I will tell you more about it.

Rosmer. And you mean to say--that you have loved me--in that way!

Rebecca. I thought I might call it loving you--then. I thought it was love. But it was not. It was what I have said--a wild, uncontrollable pa.s.sion.

Rosmer (speaking with difficulty). Rebecca--is it really you--you--who are sitting here telling me this?

Rebecca. Yes, indeed it is, John.

Rosmer. Then it was as the outcome of this--and under the influence of this--that you "acted," as you called it.

Rebecca. It swept over me like a storm over the sea--like one of the storms we have in winter in the north. They catch you up and rush you along with them, you know, until their fury is expended. There is no withstanding them.

Rosmer. So it swept poor unhappy Beata into the mill-race.

Rebecca. Yes--it was like a fight for life between Beata and me at that time.

Rosmer. You proved the strongest of us all at Rosmersholm--stronger than both Beata and me put together.

Rebecca. I knew you well enough to know that I could not get at you in any way until you were set free--both in actual circ.u.mstances and in your soul.

Rosmer. But I do not understand you, Rebecca. You--you yourself and your whole conduct--are an insoluble riddle to me. I am free now--both in my soul and my circ.u.mstances. You are absolutely in touch with the goal you set before yourself from the beginning. And nevertheless--

Rebecca. I have never stood farther from my goal than I do now.

Rosmer. And nevertheless, I say, when yesterday I asked you--urged you--to become my wife, you cried out that it never could be.

Rebecca. I cried out in despair, John.

Rosmer. Why?

Rebecca. Because Rosmersholm has unnerved me. All the courage has been sapped out of my will here--crushed out! The time has gone for me to dare risk anything whatever. I have lost all power of action, John.

Rosmer. Tell me how that has come about.

Rebecca. It has come about through my living with you.

Rosmer. But how? How?

Rebecca. When I was alone with you here--and you had really found yourself--

Rosmer. Yes, yes?

Rebecca. For you never really found yourself as long as Beata was Alive--