Rogue Angel - Warrior Spirit Part 28

His hands were still on her shoulder, kneading and ma.s.saging. She could feel their warmth seeping into her muscles. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly. "That feels good."

"I'm glad I can help you," Ken said. His voice seemed thicker and closer now.

Annja suddenly snapped her eyes open and started putting her shirt back on. "I think that's good." She nodded. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."

Ken stood. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm good. Really good." She finished b.u.t.toning her shirt and then busied herself with her backpack. "So, do we get the tent up or what? What about the people following us?"

"They want the vajra, vajra," Ken said. "I don't think we need to worry about them for now."

Somehow, Annja had a sense that Ken was right. They were not in any imminent danger.

"We can do that," Ken said. "Or we could just sleep out under the stars. Seems like it might be a nice night for it."

"It might be a little cold."

"We'll have a nice fire," Ken said. "And we can pack the sleeping bags with pine needles for extra warmth."

"All right."

"You leave the cooking to me," Ken said. "I want you to rest. All right?"

"All right, but you should know something about me."

Ken stopped and looked at her. "What?"

"I'm really fussy about how I eat my canned ravioli."

28.

"It really is beautiful here," Annja said after they'd eaten dinner. She sat on her sleeping bag, which was placed atop a thick bed of pine needles. The fire spit and hissed nearby, sending warmth out into the cool night. The combination of solid food, scent of pine and the radiating heat of the fire had dulled the pain in her shoulder. But only a little.

Ken looked at her in the twinkling firelight. "Places like this are very special when you find them, especially more or less by accident."

"How so?"

He shrugged. "Acolytes journey to areas like this to test themselves. The sheer power of the waterfall is enough to both inspire and terrify."

"What makes it scary?"

Ken smiled. "Would you take off your clothes, wade out into the freezing waters, and meditate while the waterfall crashed down on you?"

"I'm not an acolyte," Annja said.

"Perhaps," Ken replied. "But you don't necessarily have to take religious vows to seek spiritual enlightenment. Many people opt to find their own way to such ideals through processes similar to those following a traditional path. This waterfall might be one of them."

Annja looked at the wall of water cascading down from high above them. The bank they had chosen to camp on was a good two hundred yards away, and the resulting spray of water hitting the rocks below didn't reach them. But the constant roar echoed all around them. She realized they wouldn't hear anyone approaching their camp. But then again, no one would hear them over the din of the waterfall.

"I wonder how they stand it."

"The water?" Ken grinned. "I'm still trying to figure out how I did it."

"You've done it?" Annja eyed him. "You've actually meditated under a waterfall?"

"Well, not this waterfall, but yeah. I did. I took part in some shugenja shugenja endurance testings." endurance testings."

"Shugenja?"

"Another sect of ascetics seeking enlightenment. Their plan for ridding personal demons is pretty intense. One of them is to submerge in a freezing pool of cold water, or else endure the cold phase by meditating under a waterfall."

"And they just let you partake in that?"

Ken shrugged. "I'd been observing them and they asked if I wanted to join them in their 'fun,' I think the head guy called it."

"And you did."

"Well," Ken said, "his tone was very mocking."

Annja grinned. "What did you think?"

"Honestly? At first I thought my t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es were going to be the size of raisins when I was finished. And not good-sized raisins, either. I mean really tiny, tiny raisins."

Annja held up her hand. "I get it."

"But you know, after I was in there and trying to calm myself down, relax my heartbeat, breathe, meditate, that kind of thing, I actually found that it wasn't so bad. Somehow, my body adjusted itself because of how I controlled my mind." He frowned. "I think that's the thing so many people forget these days. The mind controls the body, not vice versa. Anything really is possible if you believe in it hard enough. We create our own reality every day, but most of us just don't realize it."

Annja leaned back on her good arm. "You might have another career as a New Age guru."

Ken shook his head. "I'm not interested in leading a group of people who are, by and large, already more lost than everyday people."

"Sounds like you just lost your flock there, buddy."

Ken smirked. "My flock." He shook his head. "That's the whole problem right there. People-doesn't matter who they are-for some reason seem to feel this unbelievable need to have others worship them or be seen in a position of power. It's all based in a terrible insecurity they have with themselves. And rather than face their insecurities head-on and actually transform themselves into someone capable of incredible power and potential, they run from the challenge. They become supposed teachers more capable of pointing out everyone else's faults than they are at living a productive life fully in charge of themselves."

"You make it sound pretty bad."

"It is pretty bad," Ken said. "Go into any bookstore and look in the self-help section. There's a misnomer right there. None of those books help people help themselves. They all do the same thing-point out how lacking the reader's life is and then nudge them on a path of responsibility avoidance. The books give a laundry list of excuses as to why the reader's life is so utterly in chaos."

"Why don't you write one, then?" Annja said.

He laughed. "It wouldn't be long enough. I'd write a page about how people should be able to look into the mirror and see what is truly reflected back, not what they wish was reflected."

"That's it?"

Ken pointed overhead. "You see the moon?"

"Sure."

"And now look at the water below it. The moon's reflection is there, too, right?"

"Yeah."

"But you also see the ripples in the pool coming from the water hitting the rocks and all that stuff."

"Of course."

"So it that a true reflection of the moon, then?"

Annja frowned. "I'm not sure I follow you here, Ken."

Ken nodded. "I didn't mean to get so out there on you. I hope I'm not spoiling the evening."

"You're not."

"Good." He sighed. "Think of it this way-a lot of people would look at the sky and see the moon and then look at the reflection of the moon and say they were two completely different things. On one level, they'd be right. After all, one is, in fact, the actual moon, and one is but a reflection. But on another level, the one they're attempting to espouse, they're wrong. Yes, the moon's reflection does not look like the moon, but that doesn't make it a false representation."

"The reflecting surface shows what it is presented with."

"Yes, but with all the distortion and disturbances in place, as well. The reflection of the moon in the water shows how the moon truly appears in this time and place. The person looking at the moon-in other words, the person looking in the mirror-might want the refection to be perfect, the way they want to see themselves. But in reality, there is no perfection in the person looking in the mirror. There are faults and problems that need to be addressed. Only then will the reflecting surface be as peaceful and calm as what it reflects."

"So, that's the big truth?" Annja asked.

"One of them," Ken said. "But it's a big one. There's an epidemic of victimization in society as a whole these days. I thought it was just isolated to the United States and its support system of charlatans, talk-show hosts and early-morning-news idiots, but I've since seen that the rest of the world is rapidly acquiring the same lack of self-realization."

Annja nodded. "I've actually wondered about that. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to blame someone else for their problems-"

"That the problems never get solved," Ken said. "That's exactly it."

Annja sighed. "I knew someone. A good friend of mine a long time ago who always tried to take the easy path. Instead of working harder, she would always look for the path of least resistance. She came from a broken home, abused, that sort of thing. All her life she blamed her failings on that past."

"What happened to her?"

Annja shook her head, chasing away the memory. "She took the path of least resistance off a rooftop in Chicago."

"I'm sorry."

Annja nodded. "Yeah, well, I hope she's at least happier now than she was in this life."

"You think she was right?"

"Of course not. G.o.d, using that line of thinking, I'd have just as much right to kill myself as the next idiot. I never knew my parents. I had problems growing up just like everyone else. But I dealt with it. I didn't let it be an anchor that would end up drowning me."

"You're a true warrior, Annja."

She looked at Ken and smiled. "Well, I appreciate the sentiment."

He shook his head. "It's not empty sentiment, but a statement of fact. What I've seen of you, you don't let adversity beat you. You rise above it. Look at how you've been today."

"How have I been today?"

"Your shoulder was killing you earlier. I could see the strain on your face. At times, it looked pretty bad and I thought we might really need to get you down to the hospital. But I could also see the determination in you. Your spirit commanded and your body obeyed. Even as you sit there right now, your pain has lessened, hasn't it?"

"Somewhat, yes."

"So you see that it does work. Your mind and spirit are more than capable of healing what ails you. You only need to get yourself out of the way in order for the process to be utter and complete."

Annja's eyes narrowed. "What are you driving at?"

Ken smiled. He pointed at her. "That's where you need to go."

Annja took a breath and closed her eyes. She replayed the words Ken had spoken and felt her gut pushing her in a direction that seemed unrealistic, but when she put aside her conscious thought, she realized it all made perfect sense.

She opened her eyes. "Well, that was interesting."

"Was it?"

"Yes." Annja smiled. "I didn't expect something so fast."

"It's amazing what we're capable of when we get out of our own way and let it happen naturally."

"Speaking of natural," Annja said. She stood up.

"Are you going somewhere?"

She smiled. "Don't you know already?"

He shook his head. "I told you before. I'm not a mind reader, although it might seem like that sometimes. I merely respond to the fluctuations I feel in nature and from other people. Sometimes that enables me to have an innate understanding of what people might be considering, but I would never call it mind reading or telepathy or any of that stuff. To me, those are traps along the way to true enlightenment."

Annja took a breath. "How would mind reading be a trap?"

"If you knew you had that power, what would your reaction be?"

"Amazement."

"Granted. But for most people, they would then focus on that power, to the exclusion of everything else they might accomplish. They'd become trapped in the lone manifestation of their potential rather than continuing the journey to see the even greater skills that await further down the path."

"You are an amazing person to talk to," Annja said. She started unb.u.t.toning her shirt.

Ken's eyes opened wider. "Annja."

She shook her head. "It seemed crazy at first but now it seems like the most natural thing in the world, doesn't it?"