Roadside Bodhisattva Part 16

The three of us tossed a few lame ideas around for the next minute or two, then I realized something. "Hey, shouldnt Yasmine be here by now too?"

"Youre right."

"Maybe they ran away together," I said.

Sid said, "Kid, you sure know how to make a primo dumb joke, but nows not the right time."

I got a little steamed. "Youre just jealous you werent quick enough to think of that line."

Sid shook his head, then swore and turned away as he saw smoke rising up out of the toaster.

At eight Oclock, just as Ann was getting ready to call the police, Yasmine pulled up. In her front seat sat Sonny, a bandage around his head. The trunk of her car held Sonnys mangled bicycle.

We all raced out to meet them. I had been doing Yasmines job, waiting tables, not stuck in the back, so I saw them first. And Sue mustve been looking out from the cabin she was cleaning, because she raced out too.

Sonny was limping, with Yasmine helping him along with her shoulder under his armpit. But he was grinning, and so was she.

"What happened?" Ann said. "Are you okay?"

"Suh-somebody huh-hit me this muh-morning when I wuh-was buh-biking to work."

Yasmine said, "I was driving into work a little earlier than usual. I was at the hospital all night with my mother. Shes ready to go pretty soon, the doctors think." Yasmine quit smiling then, but managed to bring a small grin back while she went on with her story. "Halfway between the town and here, I spot what looks like a pile of old clothes in a drainage ditch. I dont know what made me stop, really, but it turned out to be this unlucky guy. He was knocked out cold, and his bike was all chewed up. I dont have a cell phone, you know, and no one would stop when I tried to wave them down. So I dragged him into the car somehow and headed straight back to the hospital. I called Evelyn and she came right down."

"Nuh-nothings broken. Juh-just a mild cuh-concussion and some bruises." Sonny seemed proud to have escaped anything worse, like he had made his own good luck. I was amazed to see that Yasmine seemed proud of him too, and of course of herself for pulling off the rescue.

"Would you listen to this guy? The doctors all said he should head home and rest, but he insisted he was going to go to work. Said he never missed a day yet. Nothing Evelyn or I told him could make him listen to reason, so I brought him here. We picked up his bike on the way."

"Well, lets get inside," Ann said. "We can take things from there. The first order of business is to get some breakfast and coffee into both of you."

"Oh, Christ!" Sid said. "I left stuff on the grill!"

By the time Sid cleaned up the scorched mess, Sonny had downed two cups of coffee and said, "Luh-let me take over." He got his ap.r.o.n on and took over his accustomed spot, getting breakfast ready for customers as they arrived, and the d.a.m.n jukebox started up. He wouldnt even sit down to eat his own breakfast, but just picked at stuff, a forkful of hash, a corner of toast. But he served Yasmine up the fanciest plate I had ever seen him prepare. Sausage and bacon, pancakes and French toast, eggs over easy and scrambled, bagel and m.u.f.fin. At first I thought she was gonna say something sharp, like "How much do you think I can eat, dummy?" But then she just smiled and said, "Thanks, Sonny, it looks great."

For the next three days, Yasmine gave Sonny a ride to work each morning, and home again at night. Ann had gone with him after work the day of the accident to help him pick out a new bike at Wal-Mart, but he didnt feel up to riding it quite yet.

But on the fourth morning, no Yasmine. His sister Evelyn brought Sonny to work before she headed off to her law office, and we more or less knew that Heather OHara had died. We learned for sure later that day, and also we learned the date for the wake and funeral, all the same day. Talking on the phone to Yasmine, Ann told her to expect us all, that wed be closing down the diner to attend. The only customers we really had to worry about, the farmboys in the cabins, would get cold cereal and ham sandwiches and thermoses of coffee for their breakfasts.

Anns son Tony had owned a dark suit that fit me pretty good. Ann herself dug out a black dress and some pearls. She reminded me of some pretty jazz singer off one of Sonnys alb.u.m covers. Angie wore a checkered sports coat, blue tie and black work pants. He looked so uncomfortable, you wanted to loosen his tie and stick a wrench in his hands. Sue climbed out of her farmer pants and Docs for the first time since I knew her, and into loafers, a brown skirt and white blouse. The b.u.t.tons on the blouse were almost popping off across her b.o.o.bs. I thought she looked great, and I told her so, thinking that maybe I could get her to come on to me even at this late date.

"Kid, I resemble a three-scoop coffee milkshake with a giant glob of whipped cream on top. They dont make these kind of clothes for my kind of shape. I cant wait until this day is over."

So much for my suave compliments.

All of us a.s.sembled out at Anns big car at ten that morning. Sonny and Evelyn were going to meet us at the funeral home. The only one missing was Sid. Ann sent me to the trailer to get him.

I knocked on the door. "Sid, cmon, were ready to go!"

The door opened and Sid stepped out.

His suit was patterned with thin pinstripes. The lapels were a little frayed at the edges, his tie had a stain on it, and his black leather shoes were polished bright but somewhat beat-looking around the seams. He had slicked his hair back and trimmed his patchy beard.

Angie whistled, and Sue said, "Hoo-whee!" Ann said, "You look like a member of the Sopranos."

"Naw," Sid said, "theyre just ripoffs. Im an authentic Corleone."

"Where the heck did you get that outfit?" I said.

"If you had gone through my pack like I invited you to the first night we met, you wouldve seen it, Kid. Dont you know my packs got more surprises than Felixs magic bag of tricks? Anyhow, I had the whole ensemble wrapped up safe in plastic. Just took a little steam from Anns shower this morning to get the wrinkles out. Never know when youve gotta masquerade as a member of the establishment."

"You almost look respectable," Sue said. "Those kind of formal clothes look all right on you. But not on me. The quicker we get home, the quicker I can change. Lets go!"

We set out in Anns giant old boat of a car. Ann and Angie sat up front. In the back, Sue and Sid each got a window and I had to sit lined up with the hump, in between them. I rested the little package I was carrying on my lap, with my feet propped up high. More than ever, I felt like the youngest member of some weird family.

"Are we there yet?" I said after we had gone about a hundred yards.

Everyone mustve been on the same wavelength as me, because they all burst out laughing, and I did too. It felt good to laugh, especially because the rest of the day was not going to feature many more chances for laughing.

Sonny and Evelyn were standing outside the funeral home. Sonny had on a suit that had to be his fathers, it looked so old-fashioned. His head bandages had come off, showing just some nasty-looking scabs. Evelyn was dressed like she probably dressed for work, I guessed. She always looked ready to go to a funeral any day. The sun was bright and the air smelled fresh, but somehow the day still felt narrow and overcast. All us guys shook hands and all the women hugged, like we had never seen each other in a long time. Then we went inside the place.

The funeral home had soft thick carpets with flowers worked into the fabric. It smelled weirder even than the hospital, furniture polish and big bouquets and some unknown chemical stink. The director made us all sign a book, and then he showed us into the proper room, where all the lights were turned low.

As we marched in, Sid whispered to me. "What you got there, Kid?"

"None of your business."

"Fair enough."

I had been to one wake and funeral before, for my grandfather, so I knew that the line of fancy chairs against the wall was reserved for family members. The only person there was Yasmine, and there was no one else in the room.

Yasmine had on black nylons, black high heels and a black skirt and jacket. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but she managed a little smile when she saw us. She looked so s.e.xy she made my teeth hurt. But I forced myself to remember why we were all here, by looking at the coffin.

Heather OHara looked peaceful. Her long black hair was done up in a roll, and her face wasnt too caved-in or anything. She mightve just been any average little old lady sleeping.

One by one the others went up to the coffin, kneeled, then moved to join Yasmine in the family seats. I made sure to be last in line. When I got to the coffin, I unwrapped the paper from my package. Then I put the photo of Heather accepting her p.o.r.n award on top of the coffin.

Everyone had their eyes wide as manhole covers, even Sid, waiting to see what Yasmine would say about this. I took my seat, and she still hadnt spoken. But finally she said, "That was my mother when I was a little girl. Thats how I want to remember her, I think. All the other kids made fun of me and her. I never had any friends who really understood what she was all about. But maybe now I do."

Everyone started talking at once then, telling Yasmine rea.s.suring things she needed to hear. Even Sue was being nice to her. We talked like this for an hour or so, until it was time to go to church.

As we were leaving, Yasmine said to the funeral director, "Make sure that picture goes in the coffin with my mother, please."

The church and the cemetery stuff went okay. A minister made a nice speech about Heather OHara, but when he said she was in heaven "cloaked in a virgins raiment," he mustve wondered why everyone in the pews seemed to be choking. By one Oclock, we were at Yasmines house for food and drinks. She lived in a pretty decent neighborhood not far from Sonnys place.

After Yasmine said no problem, I explored the whole house silently with Sid while the women got lunch ready. He took every detail in like he was a.s.sembling a database on Yasmine. But thats just how he acted with everyone.

The OHara house was tiny, just a cottage really, with one small bedroom downstairs that mustve been the mothers, a parlor, a kitchen, a bathroom. The upstairs where Yasmine slept had slanted ceilings and you could stand straight only in the middle of the single long room. An iron-framed bed was pushed up against the eaves, so that youd kinda have to crouch to get into it. On a nightstand, a travel guide to California sat alongside about a hundred bottles of nail polish.

We came down to find five kinds of ready-made sandwiches out of the fridge and unwrapped on a platter, three different cold salads, pickles, wine, beer, and a tray of pastries. Everyone seemed to be as hungry as I suddenly realized I was. Sid poured drinks all around, and pretty soon there was a good conversation going, about Heather and things at Deer Park and jazz and the doings of the lawyers at Evelyns office, and a dozen other topics. As the beer and wine flowed, people got looser, and pretty soon we almost all forgot the sadness that had brought us together that day. Or if we didnt exactly forget, we turned it into something different.

About three Oclock a general feeling that it was time to wrap things up started to surface. I could see Sue getting itchy to change out of her outfit, and Angie looked like he had been away from his television for too long. Yasmine mustve sensed this, because she stood up and said, "I want to thank you all so much for coming today. I couldnt have done this alone. But now I have something important to tell you all. Im heading back to California soon."

There were groans and "oh, nos," and some sniffles from the women, but then everybody shifted around to accept the news and started congratulating Yasmine. She grinned big and didnt even get mad when Sid suggested that she might be looking to get into her mothers old line of work. She just punched his shoulder and said, "Dont you just wish!"

Soon enough, it was really time to go. Sonny and Evelyn took off first. Ann offered to help Yasmine clean up, but she said she could do it by herself. So we said goodbye, and all went outside to Anns car, leaving Yasmine inside.

Ann and Angie slid into their front seats. Sue swung in behind Angie, and Sid motioned for me to get in the middle again. But I didnt. Instead, I said something I didnt even know a second ago that I was gonna say.

"You know what? You guys go on without me. Im gonna walk. Ive got a lot of thinking to do."

Ann studied me closely. "You sure, Kid?"

"Im sure."

"All right. But be careful. Walk facing traffic. We dont want any a.s.shole driver hitting you the way they hit Sonny."

That was the first time I had ever heard Ann swear. A drink or three must have loosened her up. "Will do."

The car took off then, and I waved goodbye to them until they were out of sight.

Then I turned around and went back to Yasmines front door. I rang the bell and she opened the door.

"Can I come in?"

Yasmine didnt say anything. But she took my hand and brought me inside, and up to her bedroom.

I didnt know how to get her bra off, so she had to do it. She only smiled, didnt laugh at me. Her skirt was a cinch to unzip, and her pantyhose rolled down easy. She had her underwear off while I was still loosening my tie.

I had never seen anything so beautiful as Yasmines naked body. She wasnt built like girls my age. I was looking at acres of flesh, and all of it was incredibly fascinating. I was almost hypnotized, kinda dizzy. Suddenly, I got this crazy notion that her body was America, and all the points of interest were cities I could visit. I was overwhelmed.

There was so much to touch and kiss, I didnt know where to begin.

But luckily she did.

I whacked my head pretty good getting into her bed. But I forgot all about that in just a few seconds.

When it was time I scrabbled around for my pants on the floor and dug the condom Sue had given me out the pocket. The packet was kinda scuffed, but the condom was still good. I had some trouble, like with her bra, but once again Yasmine helped and didnt make fun of me.

Did Sue ever think when she gave the condom to me Id be using it with Yasmine? Did Yasmine ever think when the day began that wed be doing this? I sure hadnt.

But now we were.

The night was dark, the road was long, and I was pretty beat. Walking back from Lumberton down Route 1, I remembered how Sid and I had walked back from Angies place that night he threw us out after we had bugged him about his nephews death. But now I was alone. Yasmine had said she didnt think giving me a ride back to the Lodge was a good idea. She said something about not having people see us together. She also said something about being wasteful of gas.

I had lied to Ann and the others when I sent them off by saying I had had a lot to think about. As I waved goodbye to them, I had still been pretty certain about my future. I had made up my mind days ago what I was gonna do. But s.e.x with Yasmine had changed things.

We had done it twice. The second time we used a condom she dug out of a bureau drawer. In between the two times, we slept. I never felt I got enough sleep lately, and Yasmine was really drained from the past few days. But after we screwed for the second time, we talked. Or mostly, at first, I talked.

"Yasmine, that was really, really awesome. You are the best. I never knew about half the stuff you showed me. Maybe more than half"

Yasmine lay on her back, her b.o.o.bs resting low and flattened across her chest. "Well, youre still young, Kid. Youve got a lot to learn. But dont count on learning it all from me."

"Yasmine, I know why youre saying that. Its because youre leaving for the West Coast. But so am I! I mean, Im cutting out of Deer Park. I dont want to be there any more. The whole scene has gotten real old."

She turned to look at me. "What about your best buddy Sid? Does he feel the same way?"

I made a noise to show I was disgusted with Sid. "No. Hes planning to stay. Hes gonna settle down, says hes too old for the road any more. Weve pretty much ended our partnership. So that means I can go anywhere with you."

Yasmine turned to face me, rising up on one bent arm. The way her b.o.o.bs moved started to get me stiff again. But I was afraid from the ultra-serious look on her face that there wasnt going to be any more s.e.x, then or ever.

"Listen, Kid, you are awfully sweet. Youve been a lot of fun at the Diner. I like the way things dont get you down that much. Youre always believing that any s.h.i.tstorm will eventually turn your way. Thats kinda charming, even if life doesnt always come around to your expectations. And that s.e.x was-it was what I needed at the moment. And I think maybe you liked it a little bit too." Yasmine stuck her hand under the sheets and grabbed me. She made an exaggerated look of shock. "Oh, Jesus, not again!" But she didnt take her hand away.

Now I was aching and confused. "I did, Yasmine! I really did like it! And theres nothing to stop us from going away together and doing it someplace new every day. I-I love you, Yasmine."

Yasmine sighed. "Kid, you dont love me, youre just crazy about the idea of having a woman-any woman-that you can call your own. But you cant really call me your own. Theres too much of a gap between us, between the stages of our lives. Im twenty-nine years old, and youre-what? Sixteen?"

I couldve lied, but I didnt. "Yeah."

"Youve got a whole lot of stuff to get through, territory that Ive already marched through. And its a b.i.t.c.h, those particular years. I dont wanna redo all that with you, because Ive got a big new scary frontier of my own to explore. Trying to make a permanent relationship out of one f.u.c.k between people as different as you and me is a big mistake. You see what Im saying?"

Again, I couldve lied, said I didnt understand her argument. But I found out to my surprise I really did. So I quoted some of the Prophets words.

"Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of G.o.d. But let there be s.p.a.ces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the sh.o.r.es of your souls."

Yasmine tipped her head and her eyes got shiny. "Kid, thats beautiful. Is that poetry?"

"It is. Its from one of my favorite books."

"Youre full of surprises, arent you?"

I was feeling all n.o.ble and big-hearted. "I am. And it was two f.u.c.ks."

Yasmine squeezed my d.i.c.k. "Lets make it two and a half."

She went under the sheets then, and we didnt need a condom for what she did.

All of that went through my head as I got close to Deer Park. But these thoughts and memories of Yasmine were already starting to feel like part of my past, not my future. And it was notions about my future that had me mixed-up.

Maybe I didnt want to leave Deer Park right away after all.

Because maybe there was a real chance for me at long last with Sue.

Look at what had happened when I had taken my best shot with Yasmine. I hadnt hung back like a wimp when the opportunity to go after her had sprung up. I had just acted spontaneously, stepped forward and presented myself like a super-confident stud. And everything went better than I ever couldve hoped.

This att.i.tude was what was missing when I tried to approach Sue. I realized that now. Because Sue was almost my own age, just a year older, I somehow got more intimidated by her than I had by Yasmine, who just seemed like she came from another world. Sue was more real to me than Yasmine. Her opinions meant more. Yasmine was just a kind of beautiful dream, but Sue represented something real. So naturally I got all screwed-up and tongue-tied and confused around her. Because we had a chance for something long-term.

Not that Sue was guaranteed to hop right into bed with me as soon as I turned my new confidence on her. She was still gonna be her old th.o.r.n.y self. Id have to work hard to get her to fall for me. But if I could only make some headway with Sue, then I wouldnt mind staying in Deer Park for a while longer, who knew how long? And that would mean Sid and I could be buddies again.

The closer I got to Deer Park, the more excited I got about my chances with Sue. I wanted to go to her right away and start in on convincing her we were meant for each other, even though it was pretty late. But then I got a little embara.s.sed about smelling like Yasmine. I hoped Sue would never find out about what Yasmine and I had done. I mean, I wasnt mad at Sue about whatever had happened between her and Jayzee. But being a girl, Sue might feel different about stuff like that, especially since she had such a low opinion of Yasmine, and what she didnt know couldnt hurt me. And I couldnt take a shower, because Ann and Sue were probably asleep in their apartment. So as much as I wanted to see Sue, I decided not to push things tonight.