The Golden Awakening 2 Sarah

"You should be thanking him, he saved you and took you to the infirmary," Hayley said. Why was she here? I did not need her near me, I wanted to be gone, if only my muscles obeyed my request.

"Thanks, Rob," I said, as I felt my head spinning whenever I tried to move.

"What happened? I never saw you distressed in water," he said.

"I don't know," if I told him the truth it would have resulted mental in his eyes, to see such an illusion.

Rob gently kissed me on the forehead and whispered, "I'll see you at home."

"Sure," I said, nodding slightly.

As Rob went outside, I noticed Hayley glancing at me. Why was she still here? She was the last person I wanted to be with, everything that happened these last few months was mainly her fault.

"I'm deeply sorry," she whispered.

I pinched my cheek, as I was in disbelief how such simple words came out of her mouth.

"For what?" I asked.

"For everything I did, for our dumb fights, because I made you quit the swimming team and took the captain spot you deserved."

"You also forgot about telling everyone lies about me, I could make a list for you."

"I know, and I deserve everything you'll want to do to me."

"I just want you gone."

"I didn't know what was happening to you," she said.

"Yes, you didn't know, but if you cared enough you would have stayed by my side."

"Precisely for what? My best friend didn't bother to tell me whether her mother was dying."

"My mother isn't dying, she has cancer. A lot of people survive."

"Robert told me-"

"Rob told you wrong!" I yelled.

"If you need me, I'll be with the swimming team."

"I didn't need you for an entire year. If you really cared why didn't you ask earlier?"

"People make mistakes, you're also not perfect."

"I never said I was. If you want to do something good for once, you should just disappear from my life."

She gave me her bracelet back as her face became gloomy, we had always been friends but her poor choices made us drift apart. I cared about her once, until she made my life unbearable at school as I kept hope of a promise we made when we were too young to understand the true meaning of our own words.

She lied, as she was doing at this very moment. My mother could not have died, everyone kept looking at me with pity, but why should I be stripped of what any human being longs for? I needed hope, or did they want to take it from me? She could not leave me alone, it was only me and her in this world, she promised, she would have gotten better, I was not delusional.

***

I thought about the stretch of road I pa.s.s through every day, it would take me ten minutes to go home on my bike and this was the last time. I would not have seen this same scenery again in my life. I wanted to make sure to remember this day, the warm wind on my rosy cheeks as my long brown curls moved while they danced with the air. The smell of violets was as intense as all the memories which I shared in this place. I should have stopped thinking how strange this day had been, it would have changed only for the better from now on.

Even from the distance I noticed something might be happening in my house. Once I was there, I saw police and ambulance cars parked in the street, I had never seen so many. My hands were trembling as I saw Rob's mother, Aliya, she was crying as she stopped me.

"Don't go in," she shouted, shaking her head repeatedly.

"What happened? Where is my mom?" I asked.

She grabbed my head, tightening it firmly, "I'm sorry honey, there was nothing else to do."

I could not hear a sound, but her lips seemed to apologise as she was a broken record. I glimpsed at the paramedics and started pushing everyone who stood in my way, I tried to get in her bedroom. I needed to know what was happening with my own eyes, as my ears would have heard her beating heart. She could not have been dead, I was not prepared yet. I had a whole list which I had to do and to say before I could let her go, I did not even have the opportunity to give her a proper goodbye, I never told her how much I loved her.

The door was wide open and as I went in, there she was, lying motionless, this corpse was not my mother any longer, it felt as time had frozen. I could clearly see people while they examined her, for them she was one of many deaths, but they never knew her, not as I did.

"Leave her!" I shouted, I could not stop crying, I felt my own anger swallowing me, a grenade ready to explode.

"Someone take this child outside," one of the paramedics said.

Robert tried to comfort me, he tried to take my sorrow away. I wanted to tell her how much I needed her and how strange it felt as I could sense her emotions, how she felt during the last minute of her life. I just needed to touch her hand, to smell her perfume again and feel secure, this was all I asked for.

"Your eyes are awakening?" Robert whispered.

I was confused by his words, but I did not care as I pushed him away. I could feel her calling me, I might have been insane. However, as I touched her, I felt all of her thoughts and memories which she once shared with me. They were overflowing in my mind as they were happening in that instant, it seemed so real. The time when we moved in our house, I could see myself, all the conversations we had, the first time I saw Robert and Aliya, our hugs, her cooking, her I love you and the last time I saw her.

"I'll come early I promise," I said while I was shutting the door. Why did I go? I left her alone dying and she was the only family I had. As the door closed another memory appeared, she was writing a letter at her grandad's wooden desk, she was in deep pain as she was saving her last breath. Maybe she waited for me, for as long as she could and now, I was left behind.

"Death is not something you need to be afraid of ducky," she said. I remained paralyzed from the shock, could she sense me? "It's just a new beginning. I would love to stay with you, but I hope my memories will make you understand how much I loved you," she gently smiled as I hugged her.

I closed my eyes, tears were overflowing as my head was exploding. I wanted to let everything go, turn my brain off, because in the end I loved her too and while the pain was burning me from inside, I knew how it would have been excruciating to live without her. I would have preferred if she prepared me, but how? Please, mom! What if I begged? Would she take my hand instead of letting me fall in a pit of obscurity where I most certainly could succ.u.mb to my loneliness, as the darkness might eat me alive. At least, if she brought me with her, I could spread my wings and fly as high as her.