Rivers of Ice Part 6

"Trust me, I'll stop short of that. You see, old lady, I never know'd a mother, and I should like to try to feel what it's like to have one.

It's true I'm not just a lad, but you are old enough to be my mother for all that, so I'll make the experiment. But what about the key of the door, mother? I can't expect you to let me in, you know."

"Just lock it, and take the key away with you," said Mrs Roby.

"But what if a fire should break out?" said the Captain, with a look of indecision.

"I'm not afraid of fire. We've got a splendid brigade and plenty of fire-escapes, and a good kick from a fireman would open my door without a key."

"Mother, you're a trump! I'll lock you in and leave you with an easy mind--"

He stopped abruptly, and Mrs Roby asked what was the matter.

"Well, it's what I said about an easy mind that threw me all aback,"

replied the Captain, "for to tell 'ee the truth, I haven't got an easy mind."

"Not done anything wicked, I hope?" said Mrs Roby, anxiously.

"No, no; nothin' o' that sort; but there _is_ somethin' lyin' heavy on my mind, and I don't see why I shouldn't make a confidant o' you, bein'

my mother, d'ee see; and, besides, it consarns Willum."

The old woman looked eagerly at her lodger as he knitted his brows in perplexity and smoothed down his forelock.

"Here's where it is," he continued, drawing his chair closer to that of Mrs Roby; "when Willum made me his exikooter, so to speak, he said to me, `Wopper,' says he, `I'm not one o' them fellers that holds on to his cash till he dies with it in his pocket. I've got neither wife nor chick, as you know, an' so, wot I means to do is to give the bulk of it to them that I love while I'm alive--d'ee see?' `I do, Willum,' says I.

`Well then,' says he, `besides them little matters that I axed you to do for me, I want you to take partikler notice of two people. One is the man as saved my life w'en I was a youngster, or, if he's dead, take notice of his child'n. The other is that sweet young creeter, Emma Gray, who has done the correspondence with me so long for my poor brother. You keep a sharp look-out an' find out how these two are off for money. If Emma's rich, of course it's no use to give her what she don't need, and I'll give the most of what I've had the good fortune to dig up here to old Mr Lawrence, or his family, for my brother's widow, bein' rich, don't need it. If both Emma and Lawrence are rich, why then, just let me know, and I'll try to hit on some other plan to make away with it, for you know well enough I couldn't use it all upon myself without going into wicked extravagance, and my dear old Mrs Roby wouldn't know what to do with so much cash if I sent it to her. Now, you promise to do this for me?' says he. `Willum,' says I, `I do.'"

"Now, mother," continued the Captain, "what troubles me is this, that instead o' findin' Miss Emma rich, and Mr Lawrence poor, or _wice wersa_, or findin' 'em both rich, I finds 'em both poor. That's where my difficulty lies."

Mrs Roby offered a prompt solution of this difficulty by suggesting that William should divide the money between them.

"That would do all well enough," returned the Captain, "if there were no under-currents drivin' the ship out of her true course. But you see, mother, I find that the late Mr Stoutley's family is also poor--at least in difficulties--although they live in great style, and _seem_ to be rich; and from what I heard the other day, I know that the son is given to gamblin', and the mother seems to be extravagant, and both of 'em are ready enough to sponge on Miss Emma, who is quite willin'--far too willin'--to be sponged upon, so that whatever Willum gave to her would be just thrown away. Now the question is," continued the Captain, looking seriously at the kettle with the defiant spout, "what am I to advise Willum to do?"

"Advise him," replied Mrs Roby, promptly, "to give _all_ the money to Dr Lawrence, and get Dr Lawrence to marry Miss Gray, and so they'll both get the whole of it."

A beaming smile crossed the Captain's visage.

"Not a bad notion, mother; but what if Dr Lawrence, after gettin' the money, didn't want to marry Miss Gray?"

"Get him to marry her first and give the money afterwards," returned Mrs Roby.

"Ay, that might do," replied the Captain, nodding slowly, "only it may be that a man without means may hesitate about marryin' a girl without means, especially if he didn't want _her_, and she didn't want _him_. I don't quite see how to get over all these difficulties."

"There's only one way of getting over them," said Mrs Roby, "and that is, by bringin' the young people together, and givin' 'em a chance to fall in love."

"True, true, mother, but, so far as I know, Dr Lawrence don't know the family. We couldn't," said the Captain, looking round the room, dubiously, "ask 'em to take a quiet cup of tea here with us--eh? You might ask Dr Lawrence, as your medical man, and I might ask Miss Emma, as an old friend of her uncle, quite in an off-hand way, you know, as if by chance. They'd never see through the dodge, and would fall in love at once, perhaps--eh?"

Captain Wopper said all this in a dubious tone, looking at the defiant kettle the while, as if propitiating its favourable reception of the idea, but it continued defiant, and hissed uncompromisingly, while its mistress laughed outright.

"You're not much of a match-maker, I see," she said, on recovering composure. "No, Captain, it wouldn't do to ask 'em here to tea."

"Well, well," said the Captain, rising, "we'll let match-makin' alone for the present. It's like tryin' to beat to wind'ard against a cyclone. The best way is to square the yards, furl the sails, and scud under bare poles till it's over. It's blowin' too hard just now for me to make headway, so I'll wear ship and scud."

In pursuance of this resolve, Captain Wopper put on his wide-awake, locked up his mother, and went off to dine at the "west end."

CHAPTER FIVE.

IN WHICH SEVERAL IMPORTANT MATTERS ARE ARRANGED, AND GILLIE WHITE UNDERGOES SOME REMARKABLE AND HITHERTO UNKNOWN EXPERIENCES.

It is not necessary to inflict on the reader Mrs Stoutley's dinner in detail; suffice it to say, that Captain Wopper conducted himself, on the whole, much more creditably than his hostess had antic.i.p.ated, and made himself so entertaining, especially to Lewis, that that young gentleman invited him to accompany the family to Switzerland, much to the amus.e.m.e.nt of his cousin Emma and the horror of his mother, who, although she enjoyed a private visit of the Captain, did not relish the thought of his becoming a travelling companion of the family. She pretended not to hear the invitation given, but when Lewis, knowing full well the state of her mind, pressed the invitation, she shook her head at him covertly and frowned. This by-play her son pretended not to see, and continued his entreaties, the Captain not having replied.

"Now, do come with us, Captain Wopper," he said; "it will be such fun, and we should all enjoy you _so_ much--wouldn't we, Emma?" ("Yes, indeed," from Emma); "and it would just be suited to your tastes and habits, for the fine, fresh air of the mountains bears a wonderful resemblance to that of the sea. You've been accustomed no doubt to climb up the shrouds to the crosstrees; well, in Switzerland, you may climb up the hills to any sort of trees you like, and get shrouded in mist, or tumble over a precipice and get put into your shroud altogether; and--"

"Really, Lewie, you ought to be ashamed of making such bad puns,"

interrupted his mother. "Doubtless it would be very agreeable to have Captain Wopper with us, but I am quite sure it would be anything but pleasant for him to travel through such a wild country with such a wild goose as you for a companion."

"You have modestly forgotten yourself and Emma," said Lewis; "but come, let the Captain answer for himself. You know, mother, it has been your wish, if not your intention, to get a companion for me on this trip--a fellow older than myself--a sort of travelling tutor, who could teach me something of the geology and botany of the country as we went along.

Well, the Captain is older than me, I think, which is one of the requisites, and he could teach me astronomy, no doubt, and show me how to box the compa.s.s; in return for which, I could show him how to box an adversary's nose, as practised by the best authorities of the ring. As to geology and botany, I know a little of these sciences already, and could impart my knowledge to the Captain, which would have the effect of fixing it more firmly in my own memory; and every one knows that it is of far greater importance to lay a good, solid groundwork of education, than to build a showy, superficial structure, on a bad foundation.

Come, then, Captain, you see your advantages. This is the last time of asking. If you don't speak now, henceforth and for ever hold your tongue."

"Well, my lad," said the Captain, with much gravity, "I've turned the thing over in my mind, and since Mrs Stoutley is so good as to say it would be agreeable to her, I think I'll accept your invitation!"

"Bravo! Captain, you're a true blue; come, have another gla.s.s of wine on the strength of it."

"No wine, thank 'ee," said the Captain, placing his hand over his gla.s.s, "I've had my beer; and I make it a rule never to mix my liquor. Excuse me, ma'am," he continued, addressing his hostess, "your son made mention of a tooter--a travellin' tooter; may I ask if you've provided yourself with one yet!"

"Not yet," answered Mrs Stoutley, feeling, but not looking, a little surprised at the question, "I have no young friend at present quite suited for the position, and at short notice it is not easy to find a youth of talent willing to go, and on whom one can depend. Can you recommend one?"

Mrs Stoutley accompanied the question with a smile, for she put it in jest. She was, therefore, not a little surprised when the Captain said promptly that he could--that he knew a young man--a doctor--who was just the very ticket (these were his exact words), a regular clipper, with everything about him trim, taut, and ship-shape, who would suit every member of the family to a tee!

A hearty laugh from every member of the family greeted the Captain's enthusiastic recommendation, and Emma exclaimed that he must be a most charming youth, while Lewis pulled out pencil and note-book to take down his name and address.

"You are a most valuable friend at this crisis in our affairs," said Lewis, "I'll make mother write to him immediately."

"But have a care," said the Captain, "that you never mention who it was that recommended him. I'm not sure that he would regard it as a compliment. You must promise me that."

"I promise," said Lewis, "and whatever I promise mother will fulfil, so make your mind easy on that head. Now, mother, I shouldn't wonder if Captain Wopper could provide you with that other little inexpensive luxury you mentioned this morning. D'you think you could recommend a page?"

"What's a page, lad?"

"What! have you never heard of a page--a page in b.u.t.tons?" asked Lewis in surprise.

"Never," replied the Captain, shaking his head.

"Why, a page is a small boy, usually clad in blue tights, to make him look as like a spider as possible, with three rows of bra.s.s b.u.t.tons up the front of his jacket--two of the rows being merely ornamental, and going over his shoulders. He usually wears a man's hat for the sake of congruity, and is invariably as full of mischief as an egg is of meat.

Can you find such an article?"

"Ha!" exclaimed the Captain. "What is he used for?"